The Phoenix
by itsashortenedversionofmyname
Summary: Eleanor Douglas has never been normal. Born with abilities that were unexplained until Professor Xavier found her and taught her control, what happens when she once again finds herself in need of a 'school for the gifted', only this time it's not a mutation - it's magical. Follow her in this coming of age story.
1. Chapter 1

Hi! Welcome to The Phoenix! Now, before you get started, I have to mention, please don't judge the bad writing here - I do get better I promise! When I have time, I will be going back over and editing the earlier chapters to make them somewhat decent, but for now, you'll just have to grin and bare them!

The X-men and Potter seems like a obscure choice for a cross over but I assure you, I have lots of ideas and plan to take this story up until the end of the first wizarding war - possibly further, so this **will** be a longgggggg story. So buckle up, rest your feet and relax!

 **DISCLAIMER - Anything recognisable isn't mine!**

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Stood in the centre of the circular room, Eleanor Douglas couldn't help but stare. Not even at one area, just the entirety of it. The walls were huge and covered in art. Tapestries hung down creating a temporary partition from the hind area. A cabinet filled with potions stood to her right. A huge phoenix perched on a stand was to her left. The subjects of the paintings on the walls moved around as they pleased. The whole room just screamed 'magic'. Although, she thought, it was to be expected seeing as though it was the office of the headmaster of a school for witches and wizards. The man himself sat in front of her. His long grey hair blended into his beard, almost reaching the floor. His tall hat bent over at the end, too long to stand straight. Eleanor watched as his lilac robes ruffled slightly, his eyes glancing up at her; full of kindness. At once she could tell that this man demanded respect, whether intentionally or not she wasn't sure yet. It was incredibly intimidating standing before him. Her only life line was that she wasn't alone. The man who had become almost a father figure was beside her – the difference being that he was a damned sight more comfortable. She tore her eyes from the décor to look at him.

He sat tall in his wheelchair, deep in conversation with the other man. Eleanor would miss him. He had become her family. He had kept her safe from those who would like to do her harm – and kept her from harming others by teaching her control. Growing up, she had never realised that anything about her was abnormal. She had thought it completely average to be able to hear others thoughts, everyone could do that right? Her parents had just laughed off all of the 'coincidences' when she had answered unspoken words, however when she began to move things without touching them, they were forced to consider that all was not as it seemed. Telekinesis was a bit harder to ignore.

" _Eleanor,"_ A voice in her mind snapped her attention back to the room. Her eyes focused back on the two professors. Professor Charles Xavier, _her_ professor, smiled at her gently. She knew he had heard her internal nostalgia – having a teacher who could read your mind certainly took some getting used too.

"Sorry Professor," She smiled at the older man sat across the desk from her, suddenly realising she had been spoken too.

"That's quite ok my dear," Professor Dumbledore chuckled slightly, "It does take some getting used too I suppose." He gestured to the art on the walls, wrongly assuming that was what had grabbed her attention. Every piece included a person, who was seemingly alive and talking away to other painted people. They all seemed thrilled to have a student in the headmaster's office, clearly expecting some form of punishment to occur. "I was just saying that perhaps instead of joining the first years later this evening, you might prefer to be sorted into your house in here? Having a student begin their journey at Hogwarts in their fourth year is most unusual so unfortunately we have no protocol for this situation."

"Oh, ok then," Relieved, Eleanor agreed; she wasn't looking forward to being the shiny new toy, it was difficult enough leaving her entire world behind to enter a new one without being gawked at by hundreds of her peers.

Dumbledore clapped his hands, "Brilliant."

As he got up and headed to a hat stand near the door of his office, Eleanor looked over to her security blanket. He smiled up at her. _"You will be fine, El. I know it's a big change but we both know you can do this."_ A soft smile played on her lips. Sure, she was ok now, but what about when Professor Xavier left and went back to America? She would be alone with everything she knew thousands of miles away on the other side of the world. Taking a deep breath she attempted to brush the worries from her mind and plastered a grin on her face. The professor clearly wasn't convinced but he, thankfully, didn't say anything.

"Now then," Dumbledore turned back to them, a large brown hat in his hands, "All you have to do is place the hat on your head and it will tell you your house." She had been told about the houses of Hogwarts briefly by Professor Xavier on the flight over. Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Gryffindor were their names but to Eleanor they were just funny words. Since meeting with Dumbledore he had explained to her the importance of her house and how they would 'become her family' apparently. The four 'funny words' were actually the surnames of the creators of Hogwarts. Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw and Salazar Slytherin. Apparently alliteration was big back then.

As the old rag was placed on top of her blonde hair, her mind suddenly exploded with a voice.

" _Ooo, you're a new kind. I've never sorted one like you before. This should be a treat!"_ Eleanor felt her mind being invaded as the old hat spoke, _"Lots of kindness in here, you'd do well in Hufflepuff, but what about these brains? Ravenclaw would definitely help you to expand your mind. Not that you need too,"_ The hat chuckled to itself, _"You have ambition for Slytherin that's for certain but also the bravery for Gryffindor. Hm, what shall I do with you?"_ Eleanor's eyes met Professor Xavier's, she could see his face twinkle with amusement as he listen to the internal conversation. Another deep breath. Her nerves were trying to creep back in. She would be ok. She could do this. _"I think I'll go with…"_ The hat finished the sentence out loud, "Gryffindor!"

It was slightly anticlimactic. Eleanor looked at the headmaster for some inclination on what that meant as he reached up to remove the hat from her.

Placing the hat back upon the stand, Dumbledore turned back to her, "Well my dear, it seems you are a Gryffindor. ' _Where dwell the brave at heart'_ or so the saying goes." He smirked in amusement.

Eleanor was confused; was that supposed to be a compliment or…? She could see Professor Xavier smiling as they turned back to the desk. "If you have any questions, either a teacher or the Gryffindor prefects will be able to answer them. However, I have a feeling you will do just fine."

Knowing eyes looked down at her. She smiled and nodded at him. "Now, in a few moments, the other students will arrive and the sorting feast will begin in the Great Hall. If you would like to say your goodbyes, we can go and get seated before the chaos begins," His laugh was far from Eleanor's mind as she faced her professor, her _old_ professor, she corrected herself. She saw his lips twitch downwards as he heard her.

"I know you'll do us all proud Eleanor," His voice was sad, "You never do anything else." He pushed himself forward and reached for her hand, "You've done this before, and you can do it again. I know you can." His belief in her had never wavered in the four years she had known him. Even before she developed control over her powers she could feel how certain he was that she could succeed. " _I might just use Cerebro on Saturday if you should happen to be listening."_ He added inside her mind. She smiled at that. A few years back, Professor Xavier had created, with help, a machine that amplified his already incredible powers of telepathy tenfold. It enabled him to find other mutants like himself, like Eleanor, all across the world. In fact, the machine was how he did find Cerebro, Eleanor would be able to keep in touch with the Professor with ease.

She looked to Dumbledore who was stood at the exit, door wide open, waiting patiently.

"Goodbye Professor," She leant down and hugged her surrogate father quickly before striding out the office. The finality of the situation wasn't lost on her. She knew that the mutant world was dangerous, what if she never saw him again? She shook her head, clearing it of silly thoughts. _Don't be stupid El, you're just being dramatic_ , she told herself. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Professor Xavier rolling out of the archway, a smile playing on his lips.

A woman with dark green robes and a stereotypical witches hat came around the corner, "Oh good, perfect timing Professor." She said to Dumbledore, "Is this our new student?"

"She is indeed, Professor McGonagall. This is Eleanor Douglas and Professor Charles Xavier."

"Pleasure to meet you Professor, and you too Eleanor." The witch had an aura similar to Dumbledore's - in other words, you do not mess with her. Eleanor began to wonder if all teachers at this school were so intimidating.

"Lovely to meet you too." Professor Xavier nodded to her.

"Minerva, could you please escort our newest Gryffindor to the Great Hall?" He gestured to Eleanor, "Professor McGonagall is your head of house Miss Douglas."

Professor McGonagall agreed and turned to her new student, "If you'd like to follow me."

Eleanor took one more look at Professor Xavier before nodding, mostly to herself, and setting off after the teacher.

It was difficult to keep up. Not because Professor McGonagall walked particularly fast, but for the fact that Eleanor kept getting distracted by the school. Every part of the building was incredibly impressive.

"As I'm sure Professor Dumbledore explained to you," Professor McGonagall spoke after a while, "all staff are aware of your… abilities," She fumbled around for the right word, "So if you find yourself having troubles, don't hesitate to contact one of us." Eleanor mumbled a thank you, letting the conversation die so she could once again admire the beauty of her new school.

The great hall was still empty, save for a few teachers who sat at the long table at the head of the hall, when they reached it. Eleanor gasped as she entered the large doors. The ceiling was replaced with a starry night sky, candles floated in the air, lighting up the giant room, huge glass windows covered most of the walls, dissolving into the sky above. In the centre of the teachers table was a huge, throne-like chair. Professor McGonagall led her up to the top of the hall, past the four long, wooden tables that she assumed were for students.

"This is the Gryffindor table," She said pointing to one in particular. The sudden sound of excited voices stole both of their attention, "If you'd like to take a seat, the other students will be joining us shortly." With that she left.

"Ok," Eleanor said to herself taking a deep breath as she swung her leg over the stool. Her nerves had made another unwanted appearance. The voices of the students outside was becoming louder as the butterflies in her tummy flew harder. A few deep breaths calmed her slightly but the knowledge of the impending stampede of students was still very much at the forefront of her mind.

The large doors at the bottom of the hall groaned as they were opened up. Glancing up at the professors table, Eleanor saw that Dumbledore had somehow appeared and was smiling down at the hundreds of students currently teaming into the hall. She dared herself to look down towards the doors and almost immediately regretted it. What felt like every pair of eyes, but was realistically probably only the Gryffindor's, was on her, obviously wondering what this strange fourth year was doing sitting at their table.

Nervously smiling at a few of them, Eleanor looked around the room for a familiar face. Dumbledore was engaged in what looked like an intense conversation with another professor she didn't know yet and McGonagall was talking to a redhead student who looked around her own age. She slowly turned back towards the students who had started to sit around her. They looked to be all different ages, obviously year groups weren't separated here. Everyone within a ten foot radius was staring at her, all while trying to not make it obvious – no one was succeeding. Eleanor opened her mouth to introduce herself to a couple of girls who sat opposite her but before she even got the words out they diverted their eyes, pretending to be in deep conversation with one another. She let out a sharp breath, looking down at the table in front of her to stop the blush that was crawling up her cheeks becoming obvious.

"Hi," A voice from beside her said, "I'm Lily Evans, you're new here right?" Eleanor looked up and saw the girl who Professor McGonagall had been talking to folding her legs over the seat to sit next to her.

"Yeah, I'm Eleanor," She took the hand that had been extended to her and shook it gently, "Nice to meet you."

Lily smiled back at her, "Nice to meet you too! This is Alice and Mary," She gestured to two girls who made themselves comfortable next to her, "Guys, this is Eleanor, she's new this year, she's our new dorm mate," Whatever inclining Eleanor had that McGonagall had sent Lily over to introduce herself was just confirmed in her eyes, obviously Professor McGonagall had told this girl about her. Alice and Mary smiled and both sent a small wave her way.

"Where did you transfer from?" Mary asked, "Beauxbatons?" _Now this is a situation you should've thought about_ , Eleanor thought to herself, _What are you going to say? No, actually, I went to Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. No, it's not a wizarding school, it's actually a school for mutants, which I am, a mutant, y'know, not human. But anyway, it's really nice to meet you._ She shook her head slightly to clear away the condescension from her inner monologue. Thankfully she was saved from explaining further as Dumbledore stood and raised his hands. Eleanor couldn't help but be in awe of the way he captivated the entire room without a word, he reminded her of Professor Xavier. As he spoke she looked around the room at her fellow students, by the looks of things, she was the only one not looking up at the headmaster – well, her and four boys who sat further down the Gryffindor table looking at something one of them hid in his hands. They were in quiet hysterics and Eleanor could see them trying to keep from bursting out laughing in the otherwise silent hall.

"…The sorting of a student is one of the most important events that will take place over the school year. It sets each and every one of you on to different paths with different people. Now, Professor McGonagall will call your name and you will come forwards to be sorted," He spoke to the first years, gesturing to a stool that was holding a familiar hat, "After that you will go and sit with your house, and then, we shall all enjoy a magnificent start of year feast!" He clapped his hands together as he finished talking; Professor McGonagall took this as her cue and started calling names.

In the end, Gryffindor received only 6 new students, including Eleanor, Hufflepuff received 7, Ravenclaw received 9 and Slytherin received 7. Most of the small first years looked terrified to be where they were; Eleanor sympathised completely.

"Well now that that's taken care of, just a couple of short announcements. Most of you will know by now but I must implore upon you to avoid the Forbidden Forest at all costs – it is aptly named and anyone found there will face severe consequences. And secondly, Mr Filch has asked me to remind you that the list of banned objects hangs outside his office; this list includes, but is not limited to, dungbombs, fizzing wizbees and fanged Frisbees." Behind her, Eleanor could hear sniggering coming from the four boys down the table, she turned and saw Lily looking at them in disgust.

Lily caught her eye and smiled, "Don't worry about them, they just think they're funny," She whispered quietly.

"If there are no objections from anyone, I believe it is time we ate! Let the feast begin!" Dumbledore once again clapped his hands together as he finished talking, however this time Eleanor struggled to contain her gasp. The table in front of her was filled with food. Any and every kind, from puddings to roasts to salads.

"Wow, ok," Eleanor breathed.

Lily laughed beside her, "Oh, I forgot! It takes some getting used too that's for sure,"

"You could say that again. I don't think I've seen this much food in my entire life!" She looked up and down the long table taking in the sheer size of everything. _Hogwarts doesn't do anything by halves_ , she thought to herself. Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters was well funded, by Professor Xavier himself, but even they didn't eat like this. Students left, right and centre were filling their plates with so much food that Eleanor doubted whether they would be able to eat it all. Her musings were stopped short by loud banging. She, like everyone else, looked up to see fireworks bursting through the 'night sky'. Colours exploded and filled the hall as they trickled down to the ground. Smiling as she watched more fireworks erupt, she first thought that this was meant to happen, maybe a start of year feast included fireworks? What did she know? It was her first day. One look at Lily's face though told her a different story.

"Those idiots, that could've gone really wrong," Following Lily's eye line, Eleanor found the four boys from earlier high fiving each other, "How childish can they be?" Lily tutted and looked back at Eleanor, "Honestly, those four boys are the biggest imbeciles in the entire school, it starts with fireworks but then the next thing you know, someone has their trousers pulled down to their ankles and are being held up in the air by their leg," Obviously reading Eleanor's facial expression Lily quickly added, "I mean, they just play pranks a lot, against the other houses mostly." Eleanor smiled at her and turned back to her food; in her peripheral vision she saw Lily wince slightly before digging in herself.

The rest of the feast passed uneventfully and Eleanor was very quickly stuffed. It seemed as though Lily, Alice and Mary had unanimously decided to take her under their wing; though whether it was their decision or Professor McGonagall's, Eleanor wasn't sure. Either way, she was extremely grateful that someone was helping her through what felt like a surreal experience.

When the meal was over, Dumbledore stood and told the prefects to lead their houses back to the dormitories.

"There are a couple other girls in our room," Lily started as they followed the crowd of Gryffindors, "Oh, watch your step! That one's a trick step, see? Anyway, their names are Dorcas and Elsie, they're pretty cool," Eleanor nodded along, trying to inconspicuously calm herself as she watched in wonder as the stair cases above them moved as they liked, "Oh yeah, that happens," Lily finished off lamely as she followed her eyes, "I should really make a list of things for you to watch out for around here.

Eleanor looked up and saw Lily tapping her finger against her lips, "It's fine," She laughed, "I imagine it's just going to take a bit of getting used to."

The crowd of people suddenly stopped at the top of the staircase and were informed that this was the entrance to the Gryffindor common room; a painting called 'The Fat Lady'. After telling the students the password, the prefect, whose name Eleanor still didn't know, lead them all inside.

The common room was a large circular room, it almost reminded her of Dumbledore's office. Red and gold screamed out at her with lions dancing around the walls. In the centre sat four red sofas that faced a large fire pit, which was already roaring. Older students dispersed through different archways whilst the prefect stood talking to the first years.

"Our room is up here El," Lily pointed to where the other girls were headed, "It's ok if I call you El right?"

Eleanor laughed, following her up the stairs, "Sure."

Half way up to their room, laughter was heard coming from the common room and Lily turned to look in that direction sighing, "Looks like the Marauders are here,"

"The who?"

"Oh, the Marauders. These four boys in our year who think they are god's gift. The guys who set the fireworks off at the feast? Yeah, that's them," Lily looked like she was going to continue her little rant but Alice interjected.

"Yes, yes Lily we know, the Marauders are arrogant little toerags, purposely put on this earth to annoy you," She laughed waving her hand in Lily's face before turning to Eleanor, "In case you hadn't noticed, Lily doesn't like them very much,"

"Yeah, I can see that," She replied, trying her hide her smile.

"It's not that I don't like them, I just don't appreciate bullies," Lily sighed, arguing her case as she pushed open the door to their room. It was a large room that held six, four poster beds, each draped in red curtains. At the end of each bed was an ottoman. "All your clothes and things will already be up here. This must be your bed," Lily pointed to a bed as she sat on the one next to it. Eleanor looked up to see Alice and Mary heading to the two beds on the other side of the room.

Sitting down on the side of the bed, she looked around the room. Everything seemed to so big and overwhelming. She could feel her mind trying to stretch; desperate to expand and invade those around her. It had been one of the biggest problems she had when she first met Professor Xavier. In fact it had taken most of her first year there to build up the wall she had created. This wall was there to prevent the inner voices of those around her assaulting her mind. She still had trouble with her ability to control the wall, if she focused, she could easily burst through and be enveloped by the voices, it was building it back up that she struggled with. But to her, essentially sacrificing her telepathy was worth it for the peace and quiet she got in return.

The door to the room opened and in walked two girls who she assumed were Dorcas and Elsie. They jumped over to Alice, Mary and Lily, grasping them in tight hugs. Excited squeals were heard before they pulled back and noticed Eleanor.

"Oh hey, I heard we had a new girl! This is so cool!" The blonde came over to her, "I'm Dorcas!" Grabbing her shoulders, Eleanor was pulled into a hug, "This is Elsie," She gestured to the brunette stood next to her who waved gently.

"Hi, I'm Eleanor," She choked out when Dorcas released her.

"It's so nice to meet you! We're going to have so much fun this year! It's fourth year girls! Last year before the hard work starts and damn if we're not going to make the most of it! So where are you from?" Dorcas turned her excitable gaze back to Eleanor, "What school did you go to? How're you liking Hogwarts so far? I remember I was so amazed when we first started back in first year, although I guess it's different starting in fourth year. If you need any help or anything, I'm here, and so is Elsie, and Lily, and Mary, and Alice-"

"Ok Dor, take a breather," Mary laughed, "You're going to frighten the poor girl to death!"

"Oh no! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to overwhelm you! It's just so exciting having someone new!"

Eleanor laughed slightly at her worried expression, "It's fine, honest,"

Dorcas seemed happy as she turned back to her bed and flung herself on to it, squealing, "It's a new year girls! And I have a feeling that this year is going to be the best one yet!"

The evening wore on and the girls were getting settled in their room. Eleanor was pleasantly surprised at how included she felt; she wasn't a pessimistic sort but 13 year old girls didn't have the greatest stereotype. They were all sprawled across Alice and Mary's beds chattering away as if she had known them years instead of hours. She could see Lily glancing in her direction every now and then, her mothering instinct shouting out loud and clear. It was sweet of her to worry but she didn't need too. Eleanor was thoroughly enjoying her first evening at Hogwarts – granted classes hadn't started yet, but it had only been several hours and she already felt confident in her friend making abilities.

"So Lily, has James spoke to you yet?" Elsie grinned at Lily as she groaned.

"Don't start Els, I've had enough of Potter for the entire year and we haven't even started yet,"

"Who is this?" Eleanor laughed.

"James Potter, Marauder, quidditch player and self-proclaimed king of Hogwarts," Dorcas answered as Lily groaned again, "He's fancied Lily since the first day of first year, and I'm not sure if you can see by our dear Lily's reaction, but she doesn't like him much,"

"Marauder? So he's one of those four guys who set the fire works off right?" Eleanor smiled to which they all, except Lily who was still hiding her face in her hands, nodded, "Wait a second, what's quidditch?" Five faces gawped back at her, "What?"

"Seriously where did you come from? I thought everyone in the wizarding world had heard of quidditch?!"

"You must be a muggleborn right?"

"Still, even muggleborns know what quidditch is!"

"Are you joking?"

"It's only the best sport ever!"

Voices spoke over the top of each other. _So it's a sport apparently_. Eleanor thought to herself. Little did she know she had just opened a huge can of worms. Turned out that Elsie was a quidditch player herself and was completely mortified that anyone could have possibly not heard of it.

An hour and a half later, Eleanor's mind was filled of all things quidditch. She did think it a bit funny that they flew on broomsticks because, _hello irony?_ But the intensity on Elsie's face prevented her from joking about it.

"Are you done yet Els?" Lily joked, coming back over to where the two girls were sitting. The dorm mates had dispersed when Elsie began her rampage on the "incredibleness" off quidditch, clearly bored of her latest rant.

"These things are important I'll have you know Lil," Elsie snapped playfully, "Every self-respecting witch or wizard should know at _least_ the basics of quidditch,"

"Ok well we're all going to do to bed now if you could wrap up the lecture?" Lily winked.

Elsie raised her hands in surrender, "Fine, fine. You get the gist of the game though right?" She turned to Eleanor.

"I get it don't worry." It was difficult not to smile at the sheer passion in Elsie's eyes.

Eleanor and Lily walked back over to their side of the room and crawled into their own beds. As soon as they were under the covers, Eleanor gasped as the curtains around the bed magically shut themselves. Smiling to herself she wiggled around to get comfortable. Her mind ran in circles as she ran through the events of the day. It was strange to be back in the UK, and it was even stranger to be in a different bed than the one she had grown accustomed to over the last four years at Xavier's. Not for the first time that day she had a growing sensation of déjà vu, it wasn't the first time she'd received news that she had some mystic powers and had to go to a special school in order to learn to control them. But the differences in the schools stood out like a sore thumb; Xavier's was like stepping into the future with the sciences taking centre stage in the curriculum, every part of the school was modern and revolutionary. Hogwarts on the other hand was like taking a trip into the past. Old stone walls, hand painted art, quill and ink for crying out loud! The whiplash of the situation made her head hurt.

"Hey," A voice whispered from her right. She peeked her head through the curtains to see Lily doing the same, "I just wanted to make sure you're ok. I can't imagine how overwhelming this all must be,"

Eleanor smiled, once more grateful for the girls' kindness, "I think I'm good thanks. You guys have really helped make me feel more comfortable. I was so nervous this morning but right now I feel so much better,"

"I'm glad. Obviously tomorrow morning will be a bit hectic with the first day of classes and all, but it settles down pretty quickly once you get into the routine of it all," Lily looked down to the floor, it was clear she wanted to say more.

"What is it?"

"Homesickness gets us all at some point, so don't feel embarrassed or anything if you struggle a bit. I mean I don't know about your school before here…" She trailed off, clearly wanting Eleanor to fill in some blanks, but she didn't quite know what to say yet so just stayed silent. Lily seemed to take this as a sign to continue, "But if you need to talk, I'm here, anytime. Goodnight." With one last smile she disappeared back behind the curtains.

Eleanor did the same and laid back against her pillows, falling asleep with a smile on her lips.

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 **So what do you think?**


	2. Chapter 2

I'm back! This is a little shorter but I felt like it was a good place to stop. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

PS reviews go a long way with motivation #hinthint

 **DISCLAIMER** \- Anything recognisable isn't mine.

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Eleanor awoke early, her body clock still adjusting from jetlag however, Professor Xavier had suggested coming to the UK a few days before starting school to make sure she didn't struggle with the time zone too much so she didn't feel as tired as she thought she would.

She pulled her curtains open to see that dawn was just breaking, the sun streaming through the window. None of the other girls were awake yet so she tip toed over to the bathroom and quietly shut the door behind her. It was a small room with a shower that took up most of the room stood in the corner. Like the rest of the castle, the décor was ancient but it worked. It felt kind of homely, especially seeing as though her house colours of red and gold were covered the walls, creating the feel of a warm environment.

After spending much longer than necessary in the shower in an attempt to calm herself, Eleanor abandoned the steamed up cubicle. The hot water had done wonders to relax her but now that it had stopped, she felt the nerves come creeping back in.

"Why are you so worried," She asked her reflection in the mirror, "This is child's play, you can do this." Nodding to herself, she quickly dried herself off and pulled on the clean robes she had brought with her, "Seriously though, what's wrong with jeans and a t-shirt?" She moaned to herself, twirling around letting her robes spin out. The entire idea of robes seemed a bit strange to her as, she imagined, it did to everyone who didn't come from a magical background. She looked over her appearance in the mirror. Despite not being one of those 'I can't have a strand out of place' people, she did want to look good for her first proper day. Her brown eyes looked over her face, it was still pretty red from the humidity of the shower but her pale skin was starting to make an arrival. Poking at her cheeks, she sighed and stepped back. _Ok, let's go_.

A creek from the floorboards outside alerted her to another's presence. She quickly unlocked the door and stepped out into the bedroom, a towel in her hands desperately trying to dry her dirty blonde hair.

"Morning!" Dorcas bounded over to her, "Excited for the first day?" Her energy levels were _way_ too early for this time on a morning, "Hey, wait a sec," She ran over to her bed and grabbed her wand, waving it in Eleanor's direction, "It's a pretty simple charm," She explained and entered the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Eleanor just shook her head laughing and continued to rub at her hair with the towel as she gathered her things for the day with her other hand.

"What're you doing?" Lily asked from behind her. She was still in her pyjamas, her red hair tied up on the top of her head in a messy bun.

"Just getting things ready," Eleanor smiled.

"No, I meant with the…" She gestured to the towel. Eleanor scrunched her eyebrows together in confusion. Her hand accidentally brushed up against a strand of hair – a _dry_ strand of hair. Dropping the towel, she ran her hand through her hair; it was dry. Completely dry. _Huh?_ She looked in the mirror to confirm. Yep, her hair was dry. Her mind ran back to Dorcas waving her wand at her. Did she do this? A hair drying spell was something she _needed_ to learn. She flushed looking at Lily with an embarrassed smile across her face. Sensing her discomfort, Lily spoke up again, changing the subject, "So at breakfast, we'll get our schedules. You'll probably be in our classes so if you need help with directions or anything, we'll show you."

Eleanor smiled at the girl, "Thanks."

"No problem, we won't be too long if you want to wait and we'll go down to breakfast together?"

"Sure," The other girls were busying themselves around, getting ready for the day as Eleanor sat back on her bed, flicking lazily through the books that Professor Xavier had bought her for the term.

Waiting for five teenage girls to get ready took about as long as you can imagine, in the end, Lily was ready first and asked Eleanor if she wanted to just go down to breakfast and meet the others down there. Her hunger growing, she'd agreed and ten minutes later found herself sitting at the Gryffindor table staring at the amount of food in front of her. "Is there really any need for so much food?" She asked Lily.

"Probably not, the house elves get a little excited at the beginning of term," She shrugged and turned back to her own plate. Eleanor grabbed a few pancakes, not feeling like embarrassing herself once more by asking what a house elf was and showing her lack of understanding of the magical world. Students from each of the houses wandered in and sat at their tables. The teachers all sat at the head table at the top of the room, talking quietly amongst themselves.

"Hello ladies," A smooth voice spoke behind her and sat down next to Lily, "See you're keeping our new friend company," The boy looked over at Eleanor grinning, "Sirius Black m'dear, at your service," He did a small bow making her laugh. He had long dark hair that fell in his face as he did so, he looked up brushing a few strands out of the way of his grey eyes. Eleanor wasn't going to kid herself, he was very attractive. High cheekbones and a strong jawline were starting to make an appearance. She could imagine in a few years' time when puberty had taken its toll, he would be stunning.

"Eleanor Douglas," She held out her hand with an amused expression on her face.

He reached around Lily and took her hand in his, pulling it up to his mouth. He kissed her knuckles theatrically before releasing her, "It is an honour and a joy." One of his hands was over his hands as her stared at her. She broke out into a grin at his dramatics.

"Hey, I'm James," Another boy followed Sirius over, "This is Remus and Peter," He pointed to the two other boys with him. James was fairly tall for his age so Eleanor had to tip her head back to look at him. A pair of black glasses sat on his nose as he grinned down at her.

"Oh, you're the Marauders, right? I'm Eleanor,"

"Ah, so you've heard of us already," The cockiness in his voice was thick, "Been talking about us have you Evans?" He slid down onto the stool next to Eleanor, looking over at Lily.

"Shove off Potter," Lily didn't even look up from her food. James didn't seem to be bothered by her coldness towards him. He simply grinned and ran a hand through his messy brown hair, tearing a piece of toast off, throwing it up and catching it in his mouth. Eleanor could see the arrogance that Lily had spoken about.

Remus and Peter sat at the opposite side of the table, facing them. Eleanor smiled politely at them before a small gasp escaped her lips as she looked up at the boy introduced as Remus; three large scars crossed his face. He looked like he had been mauled by a wild animal. His eyes were sunken with black circles around them, his skin grey and clammy. He looked like he should be at the school nurse, or maybe a hospital. His clothes hung off his skinny frame, drowning his body under layers of wool as he pushed around the eggs on his plate, talking to James. The other boy, Peter, couldn't be any more different if he tried. His round face was bright with clear admiration as he stared at the other three boys. His small eyes took turns looking from James, to Remus, to Sirius, to his plate of food. Also unlike Remus, his robes clung to him, showing off his rounded stomach as he sat down.

Busying herself with her meal, she made polite conversation as Lily pretended the boys simply weren't there. Eleanor hid a smile at James' repeating attempts to catch her attention, they ranged from talking loudly about how much he liked red hair and green eyes on a girl to throwing food at Sirius, resulting in a miniature food fight. In all fairness, the food fight did get her attention, just not the kind of attention he was after when she yelled at him for getting food in her hair.

When the other girls came down, Dorcas and Elsie made themselves comfortable a few spaces down from Lily and Eleanor, however Mary and Alice pushed their way in between Remus and Peter, sitting down with grunts. Both girls looked surprised to see the marauders sitting with Lily and when asked about it, James just joked that he was doing them a favour by gracing them with his presence and that they shouldn't question it.

Before long, schedules appeared in front of them, courtesy of Professor McGonagall. Besides the core subjects, Eleanor had chosen to take Care of Magical Creatures and, to give her at least one class that she understood, Dumbledore had agreed to let her take Muggle Studies, a class that wasn't usually open to muggleborns. Beginning her magical career years behind her peers worried her, how was she ever going to catch up?

 _Monday_

Herbology

History of Magic

Muggle Studies

Lunch

Transfiguration

Defence against the Dark Arts

 _Tuesday_

Charms

Transfiguration

Astronomy

Lunch

Muggle Studies

Potions

 _Wednesday_

Care of Magical Creatures

Herbology

Defence against the Dark Arts

Lunch

Potions

History of Magic

 _Thursday_

Astronomy

Charms

History of Magic

Lunch

Herbology

Care of Magical Creatures

 _Friday_

Transfiguration

Defence against the Dark Arts

Charms

Lunch

Potions

Astronomy

Lily looked over her shoulder, comparing the parchments in their hands, "Huh? You're taking Muggle Studies?"

"Yeah, Dumbledore bent the rules a bit for me,"

"So you _are_ muggleborn?" Lily asked, reading between the lines.

"Yeah," Eleanor could tell that they had all been wanting to ask her that since they met but she couldn't figure out why they hadn't just come out and said it. It was as if the question was taboo or something.

"Well it looks like that's the only class we don't have together,"

A few nerves about being in the class alone crept in until Sirius chirped up, "Never fear, for Sirius is here!" His theatrics still going strong, "I'm in Muggle Studies, I will protect you," He stood up on his seat, one hand across his chest, the other raised to the ceiling. The people around her sniggered at his actions, even Lily was fighting to keep a smile from her face.

"Why thank you kind sir," A small curtsey from her seemed to please Sirius.

After breakfast, the Marauders made themselves scarce as the girls made themselves to the first class of the day; Charms. It turned out that the fourth year Gryffindors shared it with the fourth year Ravenclaws. Eleanor was happy that she at least had the morning with familiar faces before Muggle Studies after lunch with Sirius, who seemed to be the very opposite of his name, being the only person she would recognise.

They walked into the classroom and Lily pulled her over to the seat next to her.

"Good morning class!" A voice spoke from the front of the classroom but Eleanor couldn't see who it had come from until a man of around two and a half foot tall climbed upon a pile of books, "I trust you are all well rested after your holidays?" The class grumbled in reply, no one particularly sharing his enthusiasm, "Well let's waste no more time then shall we?" He jumped into his lesson, and Eleanor wasn't sure whether he had forgotten about his new student or had just chosen to ignore her until he came over when the class settled into their work, "Hello Miss Douglas, my name is Professor Flitwick. I'm aware of your circumstances," Eleanor winced internally as she caught sight of Lily's attention perking up at this, but the professor just continued, "so today if you just follow along and maybe try a few charms if you like, but don't worry about it if you have some trouble."

"Thank you professor," She smiled at him, desperate to get rid of him before he blurted out anything else about her. He seemed happy with this and nodded at her before heading over to some other students that Eleanor was sure were going to set fire to something soon.

She stared at her wand in front of her, she had bought it from a man named Ollivander when she had gone to Diagon Alley for her school supplies. According to him it was "made from pear wood, with a phoenix feather core, 12 and ¼ inches in length with a slight yielding flexibility", as if this was supposed to mean anything to her. Picking it up, the foreign object felt oddly _right_ in her hand. It was as if a small hole inside her, that she wasn't even aware of, was filled.

"You ok?" Lily asked as she looked over at the girl who was sat fiddling with her wand.

Eleanor jumped out of her reverie and back to reality, "Yeah, just thinking,"

She watched Lily for a while. She made magic look so easy it was slightly frustrating. She could feel it pumping through her veins, ready to work, all she had to do was allow it – but control over her 'abilities' was something she had been practicing for a long with for a long time, her instincts didn't change now just because said 'abilities' were the result of magic instead of a mutation. Lily's wand danced around, different charms shooting out of it at regular intervals. Looking around her, the entire class was busy, with both work and talking amongst themselves.

"Have you done much charm work before?" Lily, bless her heart, made conversation.

 _Now this is where you think of a really good answer that will explain both everything and nothing all at the same time_ , Eleanor thought to herself, _easy_. A few seconds passed and Lily looked at her expectantly, "Um, actually I haven't," Her mouth spoke before her brain could catch up, "To be honest, I've never done magic before. I didn't even know I was a witch until a month ago when I got my letter." _Fantastic – really, well done. You absolute moron._

Lily's eyebrows shot up her forehead, "Wow!" She let out a breath, "I've never heard of someone finding out about all of this at our age. Oh my gosh no wonder you seemed so overwhelmed yesterday! Do you know why it took them this long to send you your letter?"

 _Yeah, turns out my mutant powers were effecting the manifestation of my magical powers, no biggie_.

"Not really, Dumbledore says it might just be one of those things that happen and no one can explain it," _Oh yeah, that makes sense, well done._ Eleanor grimaced at her inner monologue.

"That's so strange!"

 _Yeah, strange is one word for it._ "Yeah," she agreed lamely, "Hey, could you not tell anyone? I don't really want to be stared at any more than I already am."

"Oh of course! Don't worry! It'll stay between us," Lily held up her little finger, wiggling it in Eleanor's direction. She let out a laugh and curled her own little finger around it. Lily's determined gaze broke and she burst out laughing, "I can show you a few simple charms if you like? Just to help you get started..?"

Throughout the rest of the lesson, Lily sat showing her charms before letting her take a turn at trying them. It required more concentration than Eleanor had originally thought. Who knew you had to "swish and flick" to cast a successful Wingardium Leviosa charm? She was tempted to just use her telekinesis multiple times but refrained, Professor Xavier's voice ringing out in the back of her mind, " _when we cheat, we only cheat ourselves."_ It was so annoying how he was always right. After several tries she got the hang of things and they moved onto the next.

The morning passed quickly after Charms, Eleanor thoroughly enjoyed Transfiguration, even if she managed to achieve nothing but becoming more and more confused the entire class, and Astronomy was fairly interesting, though she struggled to understand how they could teach a subject on stars in the middle of the day.

"Do you want to go quickly grab something to eat and then maybe go for a walk? I could show you around a little more?" Lily asked as they left the Astronomy classroom. Eleanor was pleased that the lunch break was finally here, her brain was so full of new information she didn't know if she could fit anything else in. After agreeing, they set off to the great hall where they found Alice and Mary already eating.

"How's your first day been so far El?" Alice asked as she and Lily sat down.

"It's been ok actually, I just have a lot of stuff to catch up on," Alice nodded at her.

"Well I'm sure our resident wiz-kid can help you with that," She grinned at Lily who blushed.

By the time lunch was over, the girls had been down to the lake, where apparently a giant squid lived, down to the dungeons where Eleanor was told to meet them after her next lesson, and up to the Muggle Studies classroom so she wouldn't be wandering around the castle completely lost when the time for classes came.

When class did start, she found herself sitting alone in the middle of the room. She didn't mind. Honestly. Muggle Studies was the only class she had any chance of knowing something already so she was quite happy to sit alone and quietly work away.

Apparently fate had different ideas when Sirius Black walked in, loudly banging the door behind him, "Sorry I'm late Prof," He grinned at Professor Mailer who looked sternly down at him.

"How do you manage to be late on the first day of classes Mr Black?"

"It's a talent," Eleanor bit back a smile at his cheek.

"Just sit down Mr Black." Professor Mailer sighed and went back to his lesson. Looking around, Eleanor saw that the seat next to her was one of four empty stools. Part of her wanted him to sit next to her so she'd have some entertainment throughout the class but the larger part of her recognised that she would probably get less work done with a distraction like Sirius Black near her. Her attention in the back of her mind, she almost missed Sirius walking over to her with a massive grin on his face.

"Hey doll," He beamed at her while he pulled his stool out, "You come here often?"

* * *

 **SORRYYYY! THE UPDATE IS JUST AN EDIT - I ACCIDENTALLY SAID THEY WERE 13 BUT THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE 14 YEARS OLD! THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE COMING SOON THOUGH!**


	3. Chapter 3

Ok here's number 3. I'm half way through writing chapter 5 right now so I think 4 should be out soon. Things are actually going to start to move along soon so don't worry!

 **DISCLAIMER** \- Anything recognisable ain't mine! I'm just borrowing!

* * *

Before she knew it, Eleanor's first week at Hogwarts was over. The work was difficult but she was loving it. She was doing better in her classes than she had first imagined, probably due to Lily's help. Her favourite lesson so far was Care of Magical Creatures. She had been an animal lover at her old school – but the only animal at Xavier's was one of the teachers' pet dog who strutted the halls like he owned the place; they exactly didn't have Hippogriffs. Hagrid, the school caretaker, had even let her go with him and Lily after classes to see the animals he looks after. It was fair to say that she got a shock that afternoon. Muggle Studies was coming in a close second in the race for her favourite, not only did it give her a nice sense of normality, like she still had her feet attached to the ground instead of swirling around in the tornado she felt her life had become, but Sirius was hilarious. He was incredibly quick witted and rarely said a word without evoking laughter from the entire class. It was safe to say her confidence was blooming nicely as she entered her first weekend at school.

"I'm so glad it's the weekend," Mary moaned, slumping down against a nearby tree. The six fourth year girls had just finished Astronomy and had decided to come outside to sit by the lake seeing as though the weather was still fairly warm for September in Scotland.

"Me too, I can't believe how much work I have to catch up on," Eleanor agreed with her new friend. The girls had done a brilliant job of making her feel at home. They all constantly included her in everything they did, she could already feel herself becoming firm friends with the five of them. She lay back against the grass, closing her eyes, enjoying the feeling of warmth on her skin from the sun.

"Lily," A sharp voice interrupted their peaceful afternoon. Her eyes flew open to see a boy with long dark hair staring at Lily. Eleanor thought she recognised him from one or two of her classes but she couldn't be certain. His eyes were intense. He was clearly trying to put on a show of confidence but years of reading peoples thoughts allowed Eleanor to recognise the face of bravado that was used to hide nerves and anxiety. She could hear the other girls quietly tut and moan at the boy as Lily got up and skipped over to him.

"Sev!" She enveloped him in a huge hug, "I've hardly seen you since term started!" A small smile grew on _Sev's_ face. Lily led him over to where the girls were sitting and the other four girls immediately gathered their things.

"We're going to go get changed out of these old robes, are you coming El?" Alice asked, her eyes looking anywhere but the boy.

"I think I'm good here actually, but thanks. Catch you later?" They smiled at her and left.

Eleanor looked over the boy who was listening to Lily animatedly talk about her day. His black hair was a stark contrast against his pale skin and if she was honest, he looked like he needed a good wash. A large nose took centre stage on his face, almost hiding his dark eyes. He nodded enthusiastically along with Lily's story before the realisation that they weren't alone set in. His eyes caught hers and the instantaneous change in his face was blinding. His features hardened as he looked at her, as if he was bracing for a fight.

"Oh my gosh, where are my manners? Eleanor, this is Severus Snape, Sev this is Eleanor Douglas. She's new this year," Lily jumped in when she realised she had forgotten introductions. Eleanor couldn't help but think that Lily wasn't used to having company when she was with Severus.

An obviously fake smile plastered across his face, which looked entirely too much like a snarl, _Sev_ nodded at her before turning back to Lily. Making sure to engage her in a conversation that took up all of her attention. Eleanor rolled her eyes at his childish ways and lay her head back against the ground. She made a mental note to ask Lily if Severus was her boyfriend. While her body language said no, the look on his face said yes. _Perhaps it was one of those unrequited love situations._ She mused.

As she looked up at the sky, her mind ran over the sea to America. She wondered what her friends back home were doing. Considering the time difference, she assumed they would all be at dinner. A sense of nostalgia crept in as she pictured her home for about the thousandth time in the past few days. She could almost picture Raven as she transformed into Professor Xavier before strutting around in one of his wheelchairs ordering students around in an imitation of the man himself. One of her favourite past times was making fun of the professor and over the years she had perfected her Charles Xavier impression.

Severus and Lily sat twittering away to each other beside her quietly as she watched the clouds come together and blow apart above them. Hogwarts wasn't so bad, but it wasn't home. _Who knows_ she thought, _maybe by the time I get home, Hogwarts will feel like home instead._ Her optimistic side fought her sentimentality. However even optimistic Eleanor doubted that Hogwarts could ever feel like Xavier's. Although, in all fairness, she doubted that anywhere in the world could. She was so excited to speak to Professor Xavier, it felt much longer than four days since she last saw him. In fact, it felt much longer than four days since she entered the magical world.

When a cool breeze blew her hair around, she decided she'd had enough of the great outdoors. Pulling herself off the ground she told Lily she was going inside and headed for the large doors, not missing the flash of a smile on Severus' face.

Holding her books against her chest, she headed up to the Gryffindor common room, jumping over the trick step neatly. "Hey, looks like you've got the hang of the stairs," She turned to see the Marauders following her up to the fat lady portrait, "How long did it take you to remember to miss the trick step Pete?" James and the others laughed as Peter flushed red, "How're you doing Douglas?" James continued as Remus muttered the password and the portrait swung open.

"I'm good thanks, how about you guys?"

"We are _fantastic_!" Sirius answered for the others, his usual grin firmly in place. Remus just rolled his eyes at him as he stood back allowing Eleanor to go through the archway first.

"You wouldn't have just pulled a prank by any chance now would you?" It had only taken the better part of a day to figure out that the Marauders were very aptly named and unlike Lily, she mostly found their pranks funny.

"I don't know where you'd get that idea," Sirius shrugged as he flung himself onto the empty sofa in front of the fire.

"Sure," Eleanor grinned at him. She saw Dorcas and Elsie sitting at the other side of the room on a couple of armchairs and went over to join them, "Hey!"

"Oh thank god, you got away! We were worried Snape had kidnapped you or something!" Dorcas hugged her dramatically as she rolled her eyes. From the little she had seen of Severus Snape, no one seemed to like him – except Lily.

"I'm sure he's not that bad,"

"Oh no he is," Elsie chirped up, "He'll have been mad with Lily that she hasn't really hung out with him since school started, I guarantee it."

"Whatever. Look I'm going to go put my books away and get changed," Eleanor said her goodbyes and ran up to her dorm.

It felt great to get out of her school robes. In fact, just being able to wear normal, 'muggle' clothes made her happy. Her arms were tired from carrying her books around but as she looked in the mirror she saw how bright her eyes were. _Apparently Hogwarts agrees with me,_ she smiled to herself. Remembering to make sure that the dorm was empty, she released a small amount of control over her powers as she 'picked' her dirty clothes up and piled them in the laundry basket. Lily had explained that the house elves came every Saturday to collect their dirty clothes – but still failed to explain what exactly house elves were. Flopping down onto her bed she lay back as she let a few pieces of clothing float around in the air for a few seconds before putting them down. After keeping such a tight leash on her powers over the past few days, it was nice to stretch them a little; almost like stretching out your legs after kneeling down for a while.

Suddenly, yelling from the common room interrupted her thoughts. She jumped up and opened the dorm room door to listen a little better because, let's face it, who can resist some good drama? Listening to the screaming voices she instantly recognised them. _I guess Lily's back,_ she thought. Shutting the door behind her, she skipped down the stairs to see Lily and James embroiled in a heated row.

"You shouldn't be hanging around him! He's creepily obsessed with you Lily! It's not right! There's something about him that's off, everyone here will agree with me! You're being stupid! You know it! How idiotic do you have to be to fall for his act?!" James shouted, holding his arms up, gesturing to all of the people who had frozen in the common room. A circle of bodies began to form around them. Her four other dorm mates taking a front row seat.

"I am _not_ stupid! There's nothing wrong with Sev! It's all in your twisted mind! You're just trying to brainwash everyone that he's some evil person when he's not!" Lily fired back. Eleanor pushed past the students in her way over to Lily.

"Lily!" She positioned herself between the two, trying to snap them out of the red haze they seemed to be under. Lily's eyes were bursting with anger, her face bright red, if she didn't know any better, Eleanor might actually be a bit intimidated. Her entire stance was daring James to retaliate.

Though, as expected, he didn't appear to be smart enough to know when to stop, "You're kidding yourself Evans! You know for a fact that I'm right! You just don't want to-"

"Stop!" Eleanor yelled over him. He stopped short, clearly surprised at her outburst, "Come on." She put her arm around Lily's shoulders and, rather forcefully, guided her up the stairs to their dorm room. She could feel how tense Lily was under her as she reluctantly allowed herself to be pulled up to her dorm. Eleanor kept her arm on her the entire way, not entirely sure that Lily wouldn't turn around and charge for James once more if she let go.

She could hear mutterings of confusion behind her but just ignored them. As they reached the door she heard Sirius shout, "Aw come on Douglas! It was just getting good!" Before bursting out laughing. She just slammed the door behind her in reply. Turning back to Lily, she saw her shaking with anger.

"Who does he think he is?!" She paced from one end of the room to the other repeatedly, "It had nothing to do with him! He's just a bully and Sev is his favourite victim! UGH! He just makes me so furious! Sev has done nothing to him! Not one single thing! He's just so sick in the head that he enjoys making other people feel pain and humiliating them! How dare he? How dare he?!" This went on for a good ten minutes before Lily stopped her pacing and took a seat on her bed next to Eleanor who could hear her, very purposely, taking long, deep breaths trying to calm down. She sat in silence as Lily relaxed enough to stop her shaking hands. "I'm sorry about that."

"That's ok," Eleanor replied simply.

"I feel so humiliated, he just makes me so angry – picking on people all the time and turning others against them. It's not fair," Lily threw her hands up in frustration, slapping her thighs as they fell back down.

"I know," Eleanor knew she would be embarrassed at her actions. That had been one of the reasons she had intervened; the other being that behind the anger, she could see how hurt Lily was by James' words about her friend. She had to admit, she was surprised that the four girls they roomed with hadn't seen the distress that was written all over Lily's face – or, even worse, if they had that they had just ignored in favour of watching the fight play out.

"If you hadn't stopped me, I think I might've strangled him," Lily let out a sharp laugh.

"I think you should give yourself a little more credit than that," Eleanor nudged her with her shoulder, making her laugh a little more.

"Thank you," The redhead looked up at her, catching her eyes. Eleanor couldn't understand why Lily seemed so taken aback. Hadn't her friends ever helped her out with James before? Judging by their reactions today, maybe not but still, Lily's expression gave off the impression that Eleanor's actions were completely insane – something that was never done. Over the past few days, she had heard stories about Lily and James' legendary arguments, but she had just assumed that Lily's friends would've had her back through them. In fact, she was still a bit shocked that no one had come up to the room after them.

"It's no problem," She smiled at her friend, "You never know, maybe next time I'll be the one to strangle him."

Lily barked out a laugh.

No one mentioned the fight the next day. Lily seemed to be ok, chattering away at breakfast and laughing away at Elsie as she tried to convince them all that quidditch should be one of the core subjects at school and everyone should be required to take it.

"I'm serious, quidditch could teach everyone about team work, it's exercise and it involves strategy and real thinking – it's not like we just go out there and fly around hoping to score some goals… stop laughing at me!" Eventually Elsie realised she was fighting a losing battle, "You guys suck."

"Ok! On to bigger and better things than quidditch – no offence Elsie – but what can we do today for Els' first Saturday?" Lily asked the group.

Turns out, weekends at Hogwarts are really boring. That is, unless it's a Hogsmeade weekend, which it wasn't. The girls settled for sitting around the lake talking for a while before Lily decided to go to the library to get a start on her assignments. The other girls groaned at this.

"Lil' we haven't even been back a week and you're already doing homework?" Alice whined, "You make us all look like rubbish students!"

"You cannot go to the library on a weekend, it's against the rules," Dorcas decided.

"What rules?"

"My rules."

"Right," Lily rolled her eyes, "Well guess I'm officially a rule breaker now."

"I think I'll come with you," Eleanor chirped up. She was secretly glad that Lily wanted to go to do work, she had been dying to get a head start on the latest assignments she'd gotten throughout the week. Already having completed two, she only had two left – one for transfiguration and the other for care of magical creatures. They were both only a foot long so she didn't have to write too much but the goody-two-shoes side of her brain had been niggling away, desperate to have the feeling of knowing all her work was done. However, as much as she wanted to do it, she didn't feel 100% comfortable around the girls yet, or at least, not enough to recommend doing school work on a weekend – something that was clearly unthinkable to the majority of her friends.

After nipping up to their dorm to grab some parchment and their quills and ink, they entered the, unsurprisingly, as good as empty library. As they sat at a table, Eleanor remembered a question she had meant to ask Lily.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

"It's not funny if I say 'you just did' right?" Lily grinned back, "Right," she added, the expression on Eleanor's face answering the rhetorical question, "Sure what's up?"

"Well, you can tell me to back off, but, it's just, is there anything going on between you and Severus?"

Lily's head shot up, "What?! No!"

Eleanor held her hands up in surrender laughing at her friends face, "Ok! Ok! I just thought maybe you were, with James' reaction and everything yesterday. I mean that was clear jealousy. And when we were sat outside, Severus had puppy dog eyes plastered on his face."

"First of all, Potter isn't jealous. He only pretends he likes me out to annoy me. And second of all, there's nothing like that between me and Sev, we're just friends! That's all! He's my oldest friend." Lily sighed.

"I don't know which James Potter you're talking about, but the one I'm talking about, yeah, he fancies you. Like for real."

Lily just looked up and narrowed her eyes, "Can we just do this work please?"

By the time Eleanor finally crawled into bed, she had almost forgotten about Professor Xavier's 'call'. After an hour and a half in the library, both she and Lily were finished their essays. It was when they left that things got interesting. As they rounded the corner they ran into a bunch of Slytherins. The girls both attempted to continue down the corridor but they were stopped. Fast forward fifteen minutes, Eleanor was now aware that 'mudblood' was a just about the worst insult in the wizarding world, having both her and Lily been called it multiple times by the delightful Lucius Malfoy. The seventh year had stood with his nose in the air as he spoke down to the two girls. His hair was _so_ platinum blonde, Eleanor was sure it was a dye-job, when she said this to Lily she just burst out laughing.

"Believe it or not, but that wasn't actually the worse first impression someone's made on me before," Eleanor laughed, trying to lighten the mood, as the two girls had skipped up to the Gryffindor common room.

A strong male voice in her head brought her out of her thoughts.

" _Eleanor? Are you listening?"_

" _Professor! Oh my goodness!"_

She felt the professor laugh in her mind – a strange experience for all involved. _"How are you doing my dear?"_

" _I'm ok. Have a look if you like, you'll be able to see my friends, they're pretty great. Especially this one girl, Lily, she's really sweet."_ She felt the familiar twinge as the professor looked through her memories of the last week.

" _You look like you're enjoying yourself,"_

" _Yeah I think I am. Not that I don't miss home though!"_ She quickly added, not like he wouldn't already know that.

" _Yes, I saw that as well. I'm so glad you've made some friends though. Scott is here with me, he wants me to tell you he misses you and can't wait to see you when you come back in the summer."_

Eleanor smiled both internally and externally. Scott was her best friend at Xavier's. His power had left him isolated and scared before he started school, where with the professor and Eleanor's help, he had both learnt to control his abilities and at the same time had come out of his shell. It had hit him hardest when they were told that Eleanor had to go away to the other side of the world to learn to control a potentially dangerous side of her – because apparently one wasn't enough.

" _Tell him I miss him too, I'm sure summer will be here before we know it."_

" _I will, don't worry. Now I'll let you go, I'm sure it's late there and you'll be wanting to get some sleep. I just wanted to check in and make sure you were settling ok. I'm sure we will speak again soon."_

Until then, Eleanor hadn't thought about how tired she was, but now that she recognised it, she began yawning excessively.

" _Goodnight Professor. I miss you."_

" _We miss you too."_

Half way through her first Monday at Hogwarts, Eleanor was sat with Lily and Mary at the Gryffindor table as they ate their dinner, filling them in on Sirius' antics from her previous class.

"Honestly, where does he get it from? It's as if he has no filter! Any thought he has he either says or does it!"

"You don't have to tell us about that. The annoying thing is, is that he always gets away with it! The professors seem to love him! I even heard him call McGonagall 'Minnie' once and she didn't even give him a detention, anyone else and she would've!" Mary complained.

"But its _Muggle Studies_ , aka no magic involved! And he still gets away with charming paper aeroplanes to constantly fly at people's heads! Professor Mailer barely even said anything!"

"It's not as if he actually cares about that class though, he only took it to annoy his family, so he probably cares even less than normal if he gets a good mark or not,"

"Hey guys!" Alice interrupted, sliding down on to the stool next to her.

The all acknowledged her before Eleanor turned back to Mary, "What do you mean, 'to annoy his family?'"

"You don't know about the Blacks?" Her eyes widened, the brows high on her forehead, "Honestly where have you come from?" She laughed slightly before Lily intervened.

"Personally, I envy you not knowing about the Blacks," Eleanor smiled at her friends' attempt to skip over the awkward question, "They're not exactly great people."

"How come?"

Lily glanced down at her watch, "That is a question that will take a while to answer, and we have to get to transfiguration."

The rest of the day passed quickly, but Eleanor couldn't get the conversation from lunch time out of her mind. What was wrong with the Black family? Sure, Sirius was a drama queen and massively full of himself but he didn't seem _that_ bad. Their statements made it seem as though his family was infamous – and not in a good way. Once again, Eleanor was tempted to sneak into their minds to find out what they meant but weighing the options, she figured that waiting a little longer was a better idea than potentially losing the wall in her mind.

The girls sat in their dorm room having just returned from their last class of the day, Defence against the Dark Arts. It definitely wasn't high on Eleanor's list of favourite classes. Professor Hodges was intense. Like, _super_ intense. He made every lesson seem as though when they left the classroom, they were heading straight to war. She wasn't going to lie, Eleanor did understand why the class was included in the school curriculum – she was very well aware that the world was far from sunshine and roses – but come on; he didn't have to do his best to frighten them.

"Ugh, that lesson is the worst!" Mary groaned as she slumped down on her bed, not even bothering to change out of her school robes.

"Hodges is annoying, but it's not like we don't need it. You've seen the Prophet, things are starting to get pretty bad out there." Alice added.

"Huh?"

The other girls looked at each other. Alice and Mary had the exasperated look on their faces that Eleanor had become quite familiar with; it had a habit of appearing whenever she allowed them a glimpse into just how oblivious she was about the magical world. Lily, on the other hand, appeared to be more understanding, but still it was moments such as this that reminded her that she hadn't known Eleanor long at all, no matter how seamlessly she had fitted into her life. If she was honest with herself, Eleanor had managed, in under a week, to become her closest friend. Mary and Alice had always paired together, the same with Dorcas and Elsie – she didn't tend to dwell on it, it was just one of those things. But with Eleanor here, Lily felt supported. The fact that she had jumped in and helped her with the James situation weighed heavily on her mind. It was a strange feeling to know that someone undoubtedly had your back. The other girls were great, sure, but they were still immature. The thought made Lily chuckle. _They're 14, they're supposed to be immature._ But she couldn't help that she felt much older than her years, she could only be grateful that Eleanor seemed to feel the same way.

"Is something going on?" It was plain as day that they were trying to have a silent conversation in front of her. Why wouldn't they just say it?

"I'm hungry, are you guys hungry? I think we should go down to eat," Lily interrupted. She caught Eleanor's eye and prayed that she understood the expression, _I'll tell you later_.

"Yeah actually, I'm starved."

As they got washed up and changed, Lily took a suspiciously long time. It seemed planned when Mary and Alice happened to be ready first and Lily told them they would meet down in the great hall.

"Phew," Lily let out a breath, "It'll just be easier to explain everything if we don't have to think of reasons why you don't know anything at all," She smiled at her friend, "Ok, so where do you want me to start?"

"The beginning preferably," Eleanor laughed as the girls sat on her bed together.

"Long shot, but have you heard of a wizard called Voldemort?" She paused before continuing when Eleanor shook her head, "He's only come about recently, but he's gaining followers quickly, or according to the Daily Prophet he is. You know that not all wizards are good right? Well this would be one of those that land on that end of the scale. He hates muggleborns and wants them and anyone who associates with them to be wiped out to cut a long story short. Anyway, his followers include the Blacks. Sirius' family are really close to the worst possible individuals. They kind of have this reputation for being obsessive over pureblood elitism. Apparently, something must've went 'wrong' with Sirius because he is the only normal Black I know. So anyways, he takes Muggle Studies out of pure defiance essentially." Eleanor's thoughts were impossibly jumbled. How could she have missed what seemed to be like a war that was brewing? How could anyone follow such an idiotic idea such as this? How could Sirius, the fun-loving, carefree, class clown come from a family so awful? Lily's eyes were tracing the patterns of the floorboards, "Everyone seems to think a war is coming. That Voldemort is only going to get stronger before he gets taken down. He's already started killing people though, how much worse can he get?"

Eleanor didn't know what to say. She was well aware that there were much worse things than being killed but to point it out felt far too morbid.

"Anyway," Lily jumped up, clearly trying to lighten the mood while rubbing her palms on her thighs, "you ready for some food?"


	4. Chapter 4

#4 is here. I forgot to mention - **_valeriaromeroc_** from what I can find online, Charles was born in 1932 making him 42 in this fic!

I'm really enjoying writing this, I hope you enjoy reading it as much!

 _ **DISCLAIMER**_ \- anything recognisable isn't mine!

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Before Eleanor had a chance to catch her breath, September was over. It had been a month like she had never experienced before. She was thrilled with the way her Hogwarts life was turning out. In fact, she was beginning to wonder why she'd ever been nervous about coming in the first place. It wasn't like she hadn't had friends at Xaviers', it was just that both teachers and students had always treated her with a healthy dose of 'respect' – or at least that's what the professor said; Eleanor called it fear. Scott had been the only person there who didn't automatically give her a wide berth. At Hogwarts however, she didn't have to worry about that - even the teachers treated her like any other student and they knew about her abilities. It was a welcome relief to be 'normal', or at least to be treat like it.

The second day of October rolled around and brought with it the first Hogsmeade trip of the year. Eleanor was excited to get out of school and explore the small town nearby. She'd been hearing about it from other enthusiastic students as they had charged around impatiently waiting for the day to come. When the idea of it had first come around, Eleanor felt slightly deflated – a signature from a parent or guardian was necessary and legally, she didn't have either. After just three months at Xavier's, she received a phone call from a hospital in south London telling her that changed her life. Her family was gone. Just like that, everything had changed. Her parents and her little sister had been involved in a fatal car crash that also left 2 other people dead and she was needed to go and identify the bodies. The professor had rushed her back home to England but still, what did it matter they were gone – she was too late.

 _The hospital door loomed in front of her. People walked in and out of the revolving entrance but she couldn't bring herself to move, her feet had cemented themselves into the ground. How could they just stroll through the entryway so casually? Eleanor couldn't imagine anything worse. Once she stepped through there, it was real. Everything was different. Before she could help it, she saw the building in front of her begin to shake as if an earthquake was hitting. It may as well have, her entire world was shattered anyway._

" _Eleanor," She felt a hand on her arm but didn't bother turning around, she knew what he would say. 'Control Eleanor, we must practice control'. Was control even possible? Every day since she started at the mutant school, she had been working on control like never before, but how could control exist when her family hadn't even been able control their own lives? Nevertheless, she took in a deep breath and the shaking stopped. She didn't take notice of the frazzled people who were running around in a panic as a result of the tremors._

 _It took ten more minutes before she was able to take the steps needed to enter the building. The walk to the morgue passed in a blur. She wasn't even sure that her feet were moving. The technician opened the door before she was ready and she caught a glimpse of a covered over corpse. The breath shot out of her lungs and she felt her knees weaken. In the back of her mind she could hear the professor talking to her but she wasn't listening – all she could focus on was the bodies of her family. Entering the room, she saw three tables lined up. The technician bent down in front of her and she saw his lips moving but didn't hear the words that came out. She nodded despite this and was guided to the top end of the table. And that's where her memories began to blur. Seeing the faces of her dead parents and sister was something that people probably thought would stay in her mind forever, however Eleanor was grateful to whatever part of her terrified, 10 year old mind that had blocked the image out._

 _She didn't sleep until the night of the funerals four days later._

Luckily, Dumbledore had accepted the written consent from Professor Xavier. Now it was here, the whole atmosphere of the students from third year and above was buzzing. Eleanor could almost taste it as she came down the stairs to the dorm room, her dorm mates following her down.

"I'm SO excited!" Dorcas squealed, clapping her hands excitedly, "I'm going to Honeydukes straight away, I desperately need to restock my chocolate collection!"

"Tell me about it, I've been craving Cauldron cakes for months!" Lily sighed. Eleanor laughed at her friends' passion for sweets, "You laugh now but once you try Honeydukes you never go back!"

Turned out Lily was right, as usual. They were stood in Honeydukes, a sweet shop like Eleanor had never seen before. The girls had dragged Eleanor in there before they gave her the tour of the town. She was walking through the aisles with Lily, amazed by the huge variety of confectionery on sale when a group of boys walked in, the volume of their voices making their presence known. Without even looking up Eleanor knew the marauders had arrived. She heard Lily grunt beside her as she noticed them.

"I don't think he's seen you yet, you're still good," Eleanor whispered to her friend as she looked ever at the boys. She had never seen Peter look as happy as he did in this shop, James and Sirius were busy making fun of him and Remus was stood a little away of them, acting as if he didn't know them. To be honest, Eleanor never understood why Remus was such good friends with the other three. Remus was sweet and kind and he actually cared about his studies – rarely seen sitting without a book; whereas the other three were just overgrown 4 year olds.

Suddenly as if he felt the eyes on him, Sirius' head flicked up in their direction. Eleanor shook her head manically, trying to stop him from telling James; which of course didn't work and he did anyway. James' head shot up, his eyes searching the room for the red hair he often looked for. He found them quickly and a smug grin crossed his face.

Eleanor smacked her forehead with her palm, "Well… I take that back,"

Lily tutted as he called her name and headed over. Eleanor smirked as the chocolate bar in Lily's hand suddenly became very interesting, her friend not lifting her eyes from the wrapping.

"Did you have to?" She elbowed Sirius in the ribs as the other boys came over. She and Sirius had built up somewhat of a friendship over the weeks - after she figured out that he would never shut up and leave her alone in Muggle Studies, she'd resigned herself to actually joining in the usually one-sided conversation and was pleasantly surprised. Well, _mostly_ pleasantly surprised, whenever the conversation was about pranks or girls, she tended to just tut and roll her eyes. Under the thousand layers of sarcasm, bravado and childishness, Eleanor could tell that Sirius actually had quite the mature side to him – not that he ever showed it of course.

Sirius gave her a look, "What do you think?"

"I know but we _were_ having a nice day," She grumbled, keeping one ear on James' attempts to attract Lily's attention, so far she was still ignoring him.

"Hey!" Sirius yelled, earning the attention of everyone in a three foot radius – and a smack across the back of the head from Eleanor.

"I don't think he ever actually intends to upset Lily, he just doesn't particularly think," Remus chipped in, earning a glare from James and a snort from Sirius.

"Well maybe that's the problem," Eleanor finished as Lily came over.

"Oh hey Remus!" She smiled at him before acknowledging the two others, "Sirius. Peter." James stood behind her and threw his hands up in the air exasperatedly as she continued to ignore him, "Are you ready to go El?"

Eleanor quickly grabbed a few random things from the shelves and nodded, "Sure. Bye guys." She waved as Lily dragged her to the counter to pay. It wasn't until they got outside that Lily reacted to what just happened – a sly grin making its way onto her face as the two girls high fived.

A few hours later they were sat in a pub called The Leaky Cauldron – Eleanor had smirked at the name, witches and wizards really played into the typecast of everything magical. It was clear that the building was very old, the wooden ceiling had warped and now dipped lower in the centre. Everything was wooden; the tables, the floor, the benches, the beams that held up the aged ceiling – Eleanor half expected to be drinking out of a wooden mug. Students covered the entire floor, all eager to make the most of their first trip out of the castle in a month.

"Have you tried butterbeer before El?" Mary had asked as they reached one of the last empty tables. When she shook her head, Mary jumped up, "You HAVE too! I'll go get us some!"

After pushing her way through the enormous crowd, Mary finally returned with two mugs of butterbeer. Needless to say, Eleanor fell in love.

"So Alice, have you spoken to Frank recently?" Lily perked up taking a sip of her own drink. Alice immediately flushed and looked down at the table. Since the beginning of the year, Alice had been 'talking' to a fifth year Gryffindor named Frank Longbottom, it had seemed random at first but it turned out that Frank had started to owl Alice throughout the summer.

"Yeah, actually he asked me to meet him this afternoon."

"And when were you planning on telling us this?" Eleanor teased.

Alice fiddled with the mug in her hands, "I don't know. I'm just so nervous. We spoke all the time over summer but since school started we've barely seen each other. What if it's really awkward? I think I might cancel-"

"Woah!" Mary interrupted before Alice could get herself even more worked up, "You are not cancelling. You've fancied Frank for ages! He wouldn't have asked you out if he wasn't interested,"

"Plus, I think first dates are supposed to be awkward, it's like an unwritten rule," Eleanor smiled as Alice visibly started to relax, "When are you meeting him?"

After looking at the clock Alice replied, "In about an hour. We're going to Madam Puddifoot's and then we're going to walk back up to the castle together."

By the time Alice had left for her date, the afternoon was getting on. It was four o'clock and Dorcas and Elsie had gone back to school, leaving the three remaining girls were wandering down the main street. As would be expected for October, it was starting to get chilly but none of them were ready to sacrifice their freedom quite yet.

"Have you been in here yet El?" Mary pointed to a shop they'd just walked past. Eleanor looked over and shook her head. A huge red sign proclaiming 'ZONKOS' hung over the front window, through which she could see exactly what type of shop it was. She grinned and they headed straight for the door but Lily stopped them both.

"Oh come on guys, really?" Eleanor and Mary looked at each other and then back at Lily before nodding simultaneously. Lily just sighed before stomping over to them.

Voices mixed with laughter as they entered the door. Shelves towered above her, each ledge filled to the brim; it seemed that there was a charm placed on them as every time someone removed an item, another magically appeared to fill its' space. Toy airplanes flew around their heads, small explosions detonated around them, students ran around chasing each other. Eleanor looked around in wonder. _This place should've been called 'Happiness' instead_ , she smiled to herself. She headed over to a shelf that held 'nose-biting tea cups'. Her fingers ran over the boxes as she walked down the aisle.

"You know, you've really got to stop following me, it's getting embarrassing," A male voice spoke from her right. She turned to see none other than Sirius stood grinning at her.

She just rolled her eyes, "Maybe in your dreams Black,"

"Oh, definitely," He winked at her before going back to where James was. She watched as he leaned over and whispered something before the latter's eyes shot up; Eleanor followed his eye line over to Lily who was stood a few feet down from her. At once James was on his way over. Sirius caught her eye once more and winked as she shook her head at him.

"Where's the rest of your posse?"

"We don't have to be together 24/7 y'know?" She raised an eyebrow at him, "They're over there," He pointed to the other side of the store, "So what are you doing in here?"

"Oh, I was just looking for a new dress," She replied dryly.

He threw her a sarcastic smile, "You'll be wanting that section over there then," He gestured to where Peter and Remus were stood, admiring something in their hands, "Pete can show you where the dresses are."

Eleanor hid a smile, "You're so mean to him."

"Nah, he knows it's just a bit of fun." He shrugged back at her.

"What're you doing here Black?" Mary's voice came from behind them. They both turned and saw Mary's sour expression glaring at Sirius.

"Well as a beloved regular of this fine establishment, I think I should be asking _you_ that question," Mary scowled at him, grabbing hold of Eleanor's elbow and dragging her away. She glanced back at Sirius and shrugged as he did the same to her – both equally confused about Mary's actions. Sure, she wasn't the biggest fan of the marauders, but usually she was at least civil. It wasn't until they reached the end of the aisle that she let go.

"Ugh," She stomped.

"You ok Mar?" _Stupid question_.

"Guess what that arsehole and his friends have done now?" Knowing the marauders, the answer to that question could have quite literally been _anything_. Mary barely gave Eleanor any time to reply, "They just kegged Connor Matthews! Right in the middle of the street! The poor guy is humiliated!" _Ahhh, so that's why you're angry._ It was a well-known fact within their friendship group that Mary fancied the third year Ravenclaw. Despite all of their encouragement, she refused to pursue anything with him in because it was "weird because he's younger", the fact that he was one of the oldest in his year, while Mary was one of the youngest in hers, meaning that the age difference was only of a few months, made absolutely no difference in her mind.

Eleanor had to admit, she did find quite a lot of the marauders pranks funny – like the time they set dungbombs off in Herbology, meaning the lesson had to be finished early lest the plants be ruined by the stench, or basically any prank they tried to pull in Transfiguration – though admittedly, they were always funny because McGonagall had the best reactions and caught them every time before they got away with anything. But anyway, she liked the simple pranks. Nice, easy pranks. It was when it got to humiliation that the humour of the situation was lost. Everyone knew that they never meant anything particularly cruel by it – unless your name was Severus Snape – but it was clear on all of their targets faces that it felt like a personal attack. She had tried to talk to Sirius in Muggle Studies about it but he just brushed her off. She felt conflicted; on one hand, she desperately wanted them to rein in their jokester attitudes to a level that no one was hurt by, but on the other hand, how much influence does anyone really have over four 14 year old boys? Groaning in frustration, she caught sight of Sirius, Remus and Peter and narrowed her eyes.

"Excuse me," She said to Mary before storming over. Instead of speaking to announce her presence, Eleanor settled for repeatedly hitting Sirius on the shoulder.

"Ow, ow, ow! What was that for?!" He jumped away from her and hid behind Remus, who just rolled his eyes.

"How many times do I have to tell you about embarrassing people?!" She spoke to all of them but it was only Sirius that replied.

"What've I done wrong now?!" He peaked around Remus' arm.

"Connor Matthews." She grinded her teeth as they all began to smirk. Her hands became fists, held tight against her sides, she wasn't sure she could hold back from becoming physical. Trying a different tactic, she turned to Remus, "Come on Remus, what's the point? What do you get out of picking on people? Sirius and James I'm not really surprised by, but _you;_ you're supposed to be the kind one." Internally grinning, she watched as he began to squirm.

"Kind?! HA! You should catch him on a bad day, he can be a real beast sometimes!" Sirius laughed as he finally came out from his hiding place. Remus visibly tensed and turned to glare at him.

"We're sorry about Connor, Eleanor," Remus' voice was strained, "In fact, Sirius is going to find him and apologise right now."

"No he is not!"

"Yes," He turned back to glare at the vehemently refusing Sirius, " _He will_. _"_ After a few tense seconds, Sirius sighed quietly.

"Fine, yes he will," Turning back to look at some pranking material, grumbling about how he "shouldn't have to apologise" and "it was just a bit of fun, it's not his fault if some people are sensitive".

Peter, who had been noticeably silent throughout the whole exchange, looked at Eleanor, who was glaring at Sirius' back, "Uh, Sirius?"

"What?" As he turned back to face them, he looked at Peter then back at Eleanor, "WHAT?" She just raised her eyebrows, "Fine! Fine! I'm going!" He threw his hands up in the air and marched out of the door in typical dramatic Sirius fashion.

"Hey, where'd Sirius go?" James came wandering over, looking – despite the red mark on his arm suggesting Lily had also resorted to physical violence – surprisingly happy.

Eleanor held up a hand to silence him, muttering as she walked off, "Don't get me started."

Back at the castle, everyone was content. Dinner had been big and extravagant as always but now the girls had taken to their dorm where Eleanor, Elsie and Lily were finishing off a few assignments while listening to Alice talking about her date with Frank. It had apparently gone well. Alice's eyes had a light that hadn't been there before, her cheeks were flushed and her voice was just a fraction higher than normal. Ever since her return, Alice had been happily strolling around the room, her fingers reaching up to her lips at regular intervals. It was interesting to watch, Eleanor thought, as her friend once again touched her lips and drifted into her memories for a few seconds.

"…It was just so perfect!" She sank dreamily onto Eleanor's bed.

"It sounds it! I'm so happy for you Alice,"

"Thanks El!" She lay back as Eleanor packed up what she decided was her last assignment for the night; after this, she'd only have one more to do and that could be done tomorrow. "So…"

Eleanor turned back to her, "Huh?"

"Got your eye on anyone El?" Alice played with a loose thread as she grinned.

Eleanor gave her a sarcastic look in return, "Don't be daft."

"Oh come on! It's really hard to tell with you! It's not like Lily with Cory Malone where it's obvious, you have this whole mysterious thing going on," Before Eleanor could stumble around the 'mysterious' statement, Lily perked up from the other side of the room.

"Hey! Who says I fancy Cory Malone?" The five other girls just looked at her, "Ok, maybe I do, but that doesn't mean it's obvious! You lot just know me well!" Her voice was starting to raise as she fretted, "Oh god, what if he knows?" She stood up and started to pace, her essay forgotten.

"Lily, calm down, I'm sure he doesn't know," Mary supplied, looking up from the magazine she was reading.

"Not yet anyway," Elsie muttered.

"What?"

"Lily; you're not the most subtle person in the world."

Lily blushed, "I can be subtle!"

"Lily I love you but that's a lie and you know it. Besides, he's a fifth year _and_ a Ravenclaw, it's not as if you're together often enough for him to know you drooling at him," Eleanor laughed as Lily threw her shoe at her head.

"Oh shut up!"

As the days passed, classes began to blur into each other. Eleanor had grasped the basics of each subject but still heavily relied on extra help from both the teachers and Lily. Lily didn't seem to mind having to basically tutor her, in fact she seemed to enjoy it. Some subjects Eleanor had picked up rather quickly, such as Care of Magical Creatures and, weirdly, Charms; but others such as Potions made her want to smash her face against a brick wall repeatedly. It was just _so_ tedious she couldn't understand why Lily enjoyed it so much. They had finished another Sunday session in the library and were heading back to the dorm when they heard the familiar yelling that came with the hallways of Hogwarts. The marauders.

The two girls looked at each other before an unspoken agreement sent them towards the noise. As they grew closer, they were able to distinguish the main voices, James, Sirius and Peter were there along with some unknown boy. Coming around the corner, Eleanor saw a huge crowd of people gathered in a circle. Pushing her way to the front, her face immediately flushed red with anger; she didn't have to turn to know that Lily looked the same way. Three of the four marauding idiots were in fact present. They were _presently_ hanging a random second year up onto what looked like a wall mounted flag pole. The young boy was close to tears, his eyes shining as he tried desperately not to cry.

"GET HIM DOWN!" Lily's resolve burst as she screamed at the boys. James quickly spun around, finally noticing their presence.

"Evans!" He smiled and opened his arms, as if to welcome her into a hug.

"Potter, I'm going to ask you once. Get him down now." Lily's voice was like ice.

"I don't think that was a question." Either the addition of an audience had increased his already abnormally high confidence, or he had hit his head extremely hard that day.

Eleanor took turns between glaring at Sirius and looking up at the poor boy. He was terrified. His hands were desperately trying to grab at the pole as he hung helplessly over 30 feet in the air. Glancing back down at the boys in front of her, their smiles pushed her over the edge. _How dare they?_ She felt her control slipping. Her mind blocked out Lily screaming at James and James yelling at Lily – even the laughter from the crowd. All she could focus on was the pure horror on the second years face. She watched as a tear slowly escaped and began to shake.

"Alright that's enough!" She heard Professor McGonagall's voice somewhere in the back of her mind. The situation was solved. It was too late. Eleanor stared at the floor, desperately trying to control her breathing at least; Professor Xavier had taught her a few techniques that helped with her control over her powers. She couldn't lose it. Not here. _I have to get out of here._

Focusing on her breathing, she shoved through the dispersing crowd, ignoring Lily's questions, and headed… well somewhere, she wasn't sure where exactly. In fact, she still hadn't made a decision when she found herself outside the Gryffindor common room. Barely trusting herself to say the password, she whispered it and stormed straight up to her dorm. Thanking god that the other girls hadn't gotten back yet, Eleanor found the room empty and fell to her knees as she slammed the door behind her. Her hands squeezed at her temples as she screamed internally. In the corner of her mind she heard the furniture begin to shake. She felt her nails pierce the skin on her palms but was unable to loosen her grip. Before long, the entire contents of the room was in a tornado around her as she fought to dominate her powers before they did her. Five of the beds were no longer 'four poster beds' and the contents of multiple cases had fallen victim to her attack. Everything was a blur as she opened her eyes.

Professor Xavier's voice appeared in her mind, " _If you ever find yourself losing the battle, I want you to picture a train. When a train moves, it's rhythmic – methodical. I want you to imagine that rhythm. Click. Click. Clunk. Click. Click. Clunk. Over and over until you no longer need too."_

Time was irrelevant. Eleanor didn't know if seconds or hours had passed when the room finally started to slow as she regained some composure. A small part of her mind told her that she should have been able to handle the marauders pranking a second year and that this only happened as a result of her neglecting her mutant self for so long. She had pushed down and hidden her mutation away for so long that she hadn't even thought about it in days – longer than she'd ever gone before. She collapsed even further into a heap at the centre of a disaster. Laying on the floor, the train still ran through her mind. _Click. Click. Clunk._

The creaking of the room door broke her out of her trance, "El?" Lily's voice was soft, "What the hell happened?"


	5. Chapter 5

helloooo. not that anyone actually reads this but if you do, how are you liking the speed of things? There will be a few flash forwards in the next few chapters but I'm just wondering what everyone thinks, too fast, too slow? Let me know :)

 **DISCLAIMER** \- if you recognise it, I don't own it. I'm just playing around a little.

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Explaining what she was, was something Eleanor had never done before. When she had found out – it was the professor who told her. When her parents had found out – it was the professor who told them. When the teachers at Hogwarts found out – it was the professor that who them. Weirdly enough, it was something she had never imagined having to do. Even at Hogwarts, she had never pictured anyone knowing about her other half. Everyone who needed to know did, and that was good enough for her. But when Lily had caught her after her power battle with her abilities, she was exhausted and hadn't the heart nor the effort to come up with a decent enough lie. She could barely even bring herself to worry about Lily's reaction. All of her worry was taken up, firing around in her mind as she chastised herself for being so careless. She urgently wanted to speak to the professor, to have him tell her that she could do it, that it was just a blip and that even the most skilled mutants had them. But she couldn't, because instead she was stuck in her room facing a girl who she thought was her best friend, though after this conversation, she wasn't so sure that she would continue to be.

Looking around at the mess surrounding her, guilt surged through her like a herd of elephants. _What if this had happened around people?_ It was barely worth thinking about. She had even managed to smash the window, leaving glass shattered across the room. It was a sharp reminder of her strength – however unwanted that strength might be.

"You better sit down…" Eleanor moved to gesture to where her bed should be but found the space empty and her bed in pieces at the other side of the room, along with other splinters of wood and various pieces of clothing, "somewhere."

"El?" Lily crept closer to her and knelt down at her side. She placed a hand on Eleanor's shoulder and Eleanor felt compelled to up to look her in the eye for the first time. It was nothing like she expected. She expected, and was used too, fear. Usually people saw a glimpse of her power and feared her. That's just how it was. Some deep instinct told them to be careful of her. To be wary. Told them that she was dangerous. Lily's expression suggested that she lacked that instinct. Her eyebrows were knitted together in almost motherly concern. "Are you ok?" She nodded her head. And she was. She had her powers back in the cage. Everything was ok, _now_.

"I should probably explain this," Eleanor gestured a hand at the mess of a room, "But first I need McGonagall." She stood up and moved to the door but Lily stopped her.

"Wait a second," She held up a hand before shooting out the door herself. She was back in less than 10 seconds, "Persuaded a second year to go get her." She shrugged in explanation as she returned.

Sighing, Eleanor leaned against the wall and slid down it until her bum hit the floor. Lily joined her and she could feel the gaze burning into her face.

"I just have some problems with control," Eleanor started quietly.

"I've never seen magic like this before," Lily muttered equally as quiet as she glanced around the room.

Eleanor winced, "That's because it's not."

"What do you mean?"

"It's not magic."

"Well if it's not magic then what is it?" Eleanor heard the slither of apprehension in Lily's voice, though she did well to hide it.

"I was born with powers – not just the magical kind." The cat was out of the bag. Eleanor held her breath as she awaited Lily's response. Her hands grasped together tightly as she prepared for the inevitable trepidation to appear.

"What kind of powers?" Eleanor looked up at her friend, shocked.

"Um, they're the result of a mutation in my DNA or something, I don't really know. But I spent the last four years learning to try and control them and it just slips sometimes," She muttered under her breath, "As you can tell I guess." She pointed around the room speaking a little louder.

Lily just nodded her head. If the situation wasn't so terrifying, Eleanor might've laughed at her flabbergasted expression.

"So what? You're… telekinetic?" Eleanor took in a deep breath. This was it. The big one. The decider.

"Yeah, among other things," At Lily's questioning glance she warily continued, "I'm also a telepath." Lily's small gasp signalled that she had in fact heard her, despite her voice trailing off. Eleanor figured she'd hold off on the mind control for now, _no need to rock the boat too much_.

"So you can hear what I'm thinking?"

"No! I can control it, I don't listen in on anyone. The, uh, the school I went to before here was for… people like me so I learnt how to manipulate my powers so that I wasn't forced to hear what everyone was thinking all the time."

"Oh…" Lily trailed off, "So you went to a school for what? The gifted?" A small laugh escaped Eleanor's lips as Lily unintentionally used the pretence for the school.

"I suppose. It's called Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters," She looked up at the red head and had a sudden burst of confidence, "But technically, I'm not just 'gifted', I'm a mutant." Lily's eyebrows scrunched together a little.

"Am I supposed to know what that means?" Once more, Eleanor laughed a little. She felt herself becoming more and more relaxed as the conversation went on.

"It's what we call ourselves. People who have a mutation; I mean. We call ourselves mutants." Lily nodded at that, understanding. There wasn't really anything left to say. _Well_ , Eleanor thought to herself, _there's plenty more to say_. But nothing that needed to be said right at that second. She just continued to play with her fingers as the two of the silently sat together. At the back of her mind, Eleanor was praying to every deity in every religion that no one else came into the room until McGonagall got there. Lily was her closest friend and despite her seemingly ok reaction to the news, she was terrified about the repercussions that she was sure would be inescapable if anyone else found out. But McGonagall would know what to do. The professor had assured her before she started at Hogwarts that if she ever had any trouble that all she needed to do was say. Eleanor hated to seem so weak but she really didn't know what to do. The room was all but destroyed and any second now, her roommates would be coming up the stairs with unavoidable, unanswerable, questions.

Even without her telepathy 'turned on', Eleanor could practically hear the cogs in Lily's brain turning as she ran through the information she had just found out. It wasn't as if she could blame her but she still didn't have to like it. A large part of her was still petrified that Lily was going to get up and run, screaming to the entire school how she was rooming with a crazy person but the rational side of her mind told her that even if Lily decided she couldn't deal with what she'd just been told, that she definitely wouldn't run around blurting out the huge secret – Eleanor was at least 97% certain.

Just then the door burst open and after a second of terror thinking that the girls had arrived, Eleanor looked up to see Professor McGonagall standing in the doorway. Her eyes were stern but sympathetic as they fell upon Eleanor's crumpled form sitting in the corner with her knees tight against her chest. She didn't even have to look up to know that McGonagall was shocked – if not disturbed – at the state of the room.

"Miss Evans, please could I have a moment alone with Miss Douglas?"

Lily looked over at Eleanor before pulling her into a quick hug and striding out of the door.

"Miss Douglas, what happened?" The brief relief she felt after Lily's apparent acceptance quickly died off as she was forced to look up at her professor.

"I… I don't know. I just lost control for a moment." Was the best she could come up with; but all in all, it was the truth. McGonagall stared down at her for a few moments before sighing quietly and turning to the mess. After a few waves of her skilled wand, the room was back to its previous form. Once again there were six beds neatly placed, the clothes that were earlier strewn across the floor were packed away – how McGonagall knew what belonged to who she didn't know – and the window was in one piece again, immediately putting an end to the bitter chill in the room.

"Come on, up." Eleanor only had to be told once and was on her feet, her head hanging, "I'm sure Professor Dumbledore would like to speak to you… but we can do that tomorrow." A hand rested on her shoulder and her eyes looked up to see the face of Professor McGonagall covered in concern. Her eyes were sad and her eyebrows knitted together. Eleanor nodded, both at the spoken statement and the unspoken question, and the expression was gone along with McGonagall, leaving her alone in the newly fixed room.

As soon as McGonagall left Lily came rushing back upstairs but before she could speak, Mary and Alice wandered in, laughing about something or other. Eleanor just smiled at the red head softly and headed straight to her bed.

"What was McGonagall doing here?" Mary asked as she flung herself onto her bed. Eleanor's eyes widened as she realised her friends must have seen the teacher in the common room.

Lily spoke before she had a chance too, "She wanted to talk to me,"

Alice raised an eyebrow, "In the dorm?"

"Guess she couldn't find me anywhere else," Lily shrugged. Eleanor had to hand it to her, she was certainly quick thinking. Before she could get dragged into conversation with them, she quickly bid them all good night claiming that she was incredibly tired and needed to sleep – _technically_ it wasn't a lie. After weeks of not using her powers, an explosion like that left her exhausted, while the whole fiasco with Lily left her mental state in the same way. Even as she crept into her bed, she could still feel the eyes of her friend burning into the back of her head but Eleanor couldn't bring herself to turn around and face her. There was only two options for the expression on Lily's face and she didn't want either of them – number 1; pity. In Eleanor's opinion, pity was one of the worst emotions someone could feel towards her. She didn't need it. Her life hadn't been full of rainbows and daisies, sure, but it was perfection compared to some others. _And besides, I'm strong_ , she constantly reminded herself, _I don't need to be pitied._ And number 2; fear, disgust, horror, whichever you want to call it. If Lily was going to freak on her, she at least wanted one more night of 'normal' before everything turned upside down.

As she lay her head on the pillow, she caught a glimpse of Lily before the curtains shut, locking her away. _Number 1 it is then._

The next morning, Eleanor woke early, not wanting to risk running into Lily before she had a chance to talk to Dumbledore. As soon as she opened her eyes, she felt the push in her mind as her powers fought for control again. Her head was thick and her eyes were puffy as a result of crying herself to sleep the previous night. She couldn't believe she had been so stupid. The professor had urged her to exercise caution with her abilities, but to do that it meant she had to actually _exercise_ them – something which she hadn't done since her first week of school a month ago.

As quiet as she could, she quickly showered and brushed her teeth before pulling on her school robes. "You can do this," she told herself as she stared in the mirror, "You have control. You are fine." Taking a deep breath she left the bathroom and practically ran out of the room. It was strange to be around the castle so early, everything seemed eerily empty. And big. Everything felt so much larger than before. Or maybe it was just that Eleanor felt smaller. Her heart thudded against her chest as she headed to Dumbledore's office. She paused as she reached the door, unsure what to do but after a few seconds, the door opened. Dumbledore looked down at her from inside the doorway.

"Please come in Miss Douglas," He spoke before turning away, heading back to sit at his desk. Though she wasn't sure it was possible, her heart pumped harder. _What if he kicks me out?_ Was all she could think. The thought had been replaying in the back of her mind since she saw McGonagall last night. She didn't want to leave. Whether it was because she liked it here or because it would mean she had failed, she wasn't sure. Her mind immediately brought up images of her friends; she decided it was the former. Taking another deep breath, she stepped forwards and entered the room. Despite the rational side of her brain telling her to stay quiet, she couldn't stop the words from falling out of her mouth.

"I'm so sorry professor. It was a complete accident. I didn't mean for it to happen. And I don't want to hurt anyone! I promise I'll practice harder to keep a check on everything! It was a total mistake. I'm sorry! I-"

"Stop," Dumbledore interrupted her. He held up a hand and gestured to the chair in front of him, "Please sit." Eleanor snapped her mouth shut and gently sat down, playing with her sleeves. "I know what happened was an accident. And I know you would never hurt anyone intentionally. But you did lose control last night, and from what Professor Xavier has told me, we were very lucky that it was just your dormitory that was destroyed." She hung her head in shame. Professor Dumbledore was right. She could have seriously injured someone last night, even _killed_ someone. "I trust that this will not happen again?" He phrased it as a question but she could tell it was more of a command. She nodded anyway. "Good. Now, I have spoken to Professor Xavier," Eleanor winced slightly, she could clearly picture the professors sad, sympathetic reaction, "and Professor McGonagall about it and we have come to an arrangement. On the second floor, at the far side of the east wing, there are three classrooms that are no longer in use. Professor Xavier gave me some ideas, and we are working on creating a spell that will interrupt your abilities to put over one of these rooms. This means that whenever you feel like you are struggling or need a break, you can go to this room and when inside, your powers will cease to work. It should be finished by the end of the week." Eleanor just stared at the old wizard. Her mouth hung open slightly as her brain tried to rack around what just happened. She was expecting punishment; last night she was close to creating a _very_ dangerous situation and he was going to do _nothing?_ Well, not nothing, he was going to help her. As the thought entered her mind, she felt the overwhelming urge to cry. She wasn't going to be kicked out. She was going to stay. They were going to _help_ her. With the professor an ocean away, her biggest fear had been that there would be no one who would understand, no one who would support her, that she would be alone in her struggle.

She found herself looking up at the headmaster to see his warm eyes smiling. A breath she didn't realise she had been holding shot out of her lungs. Dumbledores' smile widened slightly. She suddenly realised that she hadn't said anything.

"Thank you?" Her voice jumped at the end. What could she say? There weren't any words to encompass how she felt. If she was honest, she didn't even know how she felt. Relieved? That made the most sense. "I really, really didn't mean it Professor-" Once again he interrupted her, only this time it was with the raise of his hand.

"It is in the past. All we can do now is move on and learn from it." Tears began to pool in Eleanor's eye but she managed to hold them back. "You will be informed when the room is finished, but for now, I believe it is time for breakfast?" A disbelieving grin made its way onto her face as she nodded and headed to the door. Just before she stepped through, she turned back to Dumbledore who was still sat at his desk.

"Thank you Professor." He nodded at her with a smile.

Breakfast passed in a blur. Eleanor stayed practically silent throughout, only talking when spoken too. She wasn't oblivious to the looks she was getting from her friends, especially Lily, but she was still feeling overwhelmed from her talk with Dumbledore. Plus, a part of her was still scared to face the other girl. So as cowardly as possible, Eleanor ignored the issue. At least for a while. It was in the second class of the day, History of Magic, when Lily finally had enough.

"El?" She nudged her elbow, "Come on El, you should really talk about it." Eleanor lifted her head up from her work to face her. "Ok, maybe not. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want too, but you have to at least say _something_."

"Like what?"

"Like anything!" Lily's flustered voice gained the attention of a few other students sat at the tables around them, she lowered her voice and continued, "You can pretend everything is fine all you want but I can see by your face that it isn't." Eleanor almost scoffed at that, after years of practice through hearing others thoughts and having to not react, she had mastered the poker face. There was no way Lily would be able to see through the layers of protection she had built herself.

"I'm not pretending anything, I _am_ fine. Everything is fine."

Lily sighed. "El, I want you to be ok, if you say you are then, alright, I'll back off. But _please_ know that I'm here if you need me." Eleanor smiled dejectedly, she desperately wanted to tell Lily all about her conversation with Dumbledore but she still had the overpowering fear that Lily would freak out on her, and talking about how she needed assistance to control herself definitely wouldn't help the situation. "El, you could be a mutant, witch or even a three headed troll, and you'd still be my best friend." Lily smiled, placing her hand on Eleanor's back, who let a small laugh escape her lips.

For the second time that morning, Eleanor felt herself close to tears. "Thank you."

Lily nodded, and the girls went back to work. When the class ended, Mary and Alice, who sat together at the other side of the room, waited for them in the doorway. They smiled as she and Lily neared them but didn't say anything. Eleanor was sure Lily must've said something to them to explain her peculiar behaviour at breakfast, resulting in them not asking about it. Once again she felt a surge of gratefulness towards her best friend.

It wasn't until the four girls said their goodbyes and headed to their separate classes, that she remembered she had Muggle Studies – with Sirius, _alone_. Her teeth ground together instantly. After yesterday, she didn't want to see him, or even be in the same room as him. Despite her realisation that she shouldn't have been ignoring her powers for so long and that it probably had something to do with her loss of control, she had decided to blame the marauders. If they hadn't been total bullies to Sam Hadley, the poor innocent second year, she wouldn't have been so angry and she wouldn't have been so engrossed by her mutation that she would've still had a tight grip on it. Yes, it was all their fault. Ok, maybe like 95% their fault.

When she reached the classroom, the idiot in question still hadn't arrived but it wasn't exactly a surprise – Eleanor could probably count on her hands how many times he'd been on time for class since the beginning of term. The rest of the class poured in as she got her quill, ink and parchment out, precisely placing them in order on the table. Anything to distract her from what she was really waiting for. It was working well until the stool next to her scraped as it was pulled out. _Click. Click. Clunk. Click. Click. Clunk._

"Douglas," Sirius nodded at her, she didn't look up but could hear the constant grin in his voice. Eleanor didn't reply but it didn't seem to bother him, "How are you this fine day?" Once again, she ignored him. _Click. Click. Clunk. Click. Click. Clunk._ She repeated the mantra over and over in her head, her anger was slowly crawling upwards but she would _not_ lose control again. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction – whether they knew they had it or not. She resolved to just ignore all marauders in the future. "Good, my day's going great as well, thanks for asking! I love our conversations. I'm so glad we're friends." _Click. Click. Clunk. Click. Click. Clunk._

Sirius continued the sarcastic conversation with himself for the majority of class and Eleanor decided she deserved some kind of award for not throttling him. He was the type of person that was irritating without trying, so when he purposely annoyed someone he became unbearable.

It was at the end of class when he pushed her too far. The class was gathering up their things when Sirius 'tripped' over his stool and fell onto her; the pair of them tumbling to the ground and landing in a heap. Eleanor's head smashed on the floor and Sirius' weight on top of her knocked the wind right out of her lungs. Sirius' legs trapped hers together while Eleanor's arms were entangled in the stool she had landed on. She pushed at him immediately and groaned, rubbing the back of her head. That was definitely going to leave a bruise. The dim-witted idiot just groaned back at her.

"Looks like you've fallen for me Douglas," Eleanor suddenly pictured a neon sign above his head saying 'PUNCH ME'.

"Don't start with me, Black." She snapped icily. Once again she pushed at his shoulder and he finally rolled off her, moaning as he hit the floor. "You were bloody stood still! How do you trip over from standing still?!" She fumed at him. Brushing herself off as she stood up, she was suddenly aware that everyone else in the classroom was silent – all eyes and ears were on them.

He shrugged, unabashed, "Gravity," She scowled at him, "Yeah that's right, I listen!" He pointed to the board at the front of the room. They had just finished a lesson on science; gravity being one of the subjects included.

"YOU… just…" Eleanor stumbled around her words, her face was bright red with anger, made even worse by the stupid smile that was still on his face, "Just leave me alone." She snatched her books from the table and shoved them messily into her bag, she would sort that out later. Leaving him sprawled on the floor, she 'accidentally' stomped on his foot on her way past, causing him to yell in both pain and shock, and stormed out of the room, ignoring all of the students who were laughing at her expense.

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Drop me a review and tell me what you think?


	6. Chapter 6

Bit of a shorter chapter here! The next few chapters, things are going to really start happening so that makes up for it i think!

 **DISCLAIMER** **Anything recognisable is not mine.**

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When Eleanor finally, _finally_ collapsed into bed that night she was exhausted. Not only was she still recovering from the outburst the night before, but her brain just didn't seem to want to take in any information in class – resulting in her having to work to even concentrate on working; it was all very confusing. After the scene with Sirius, the day had dragged even more. Unfortunately, all of the marauders were in her afternoon classes also and apparently Sirius had shared what had happened with his friends – meaning they all set out to annoy her and Lily with a new lease of life.

Following the end of the school day, Eleanor, Lily and Mary had taken to the library to do some homework; Alice was 'busy' with her new official boyfriend, Frank. It was relaxing in the library, knowing that they were in one of the few places that the marauders would never enter – or at least, none of the marauders that she wanted to kill, would enter. Sitting with her friends, Eleanor actually had started to allow her mind to move on from her anger and frustration. While Lily obviously knew more in depth about her feelings, Mary was still her friend and had noticed how tense she was whenever the subject of the marauders came up. To be honest, Eleanor though Mary seemed to enjoy the fact that she had ended her friendship with them – like Lily, Mary found them to be "arrogant, idiotic, stupid little boys". Nevertheless, the both of them set out on a mission to cheer their friend up; and it had worked.

" _Eleanor?"_ A voice echoed in her mind as she was just getting comfortable in bed.

" _Professor!"_ Eleanor exclaimed internally in surprise.

" _Yes, I'm here Eleanor. I heard about your accident,"_ She winced.

" _Are you disappointed?"_ She asked hesitantly. It was the question she didn't want to ask, but with him in her head, she knew she had no chance of hiding it. Her fear and anxieties of letting the professor down were at the forefront of her mind as always.

" _Do you really believe that I could ever be disappointed in you?"_ His words soothed her instantly. After her family's accident, she had clung to whoever was around her with incredible need; these people turned out to be those at Xavier's. Raven, the professor's adoptive sister, took the female role model responsibility very seriously. She had jumped in with both feet, and loved having someone to look up to her. The professor took over the male role model position. The two of them worked together a lot as a result of sharing similar powers so she had always been closest with him but still; they both became her family. Looking back on it now, she felt almost guilty, as if she had betrayed her biological family by creating a new one of her own – but she knew that her parents would understand. Her 10 year old self needed a family. Needed people around her who would love and protect her unconditionally.

" _What happened?"_ The professor broke her out of her thoughts. She instantly replayed that Sunday afternoon for him, trying her best to hide the shame in her mind – useless as he caught it anyway, _"My dear, there is no reason to be ashamed. You did extremely well to delay the frenzy until you reached a safe place. However, I do believe you are right in your reasoning behind it."_ He paused, _"You should really be working your powers as frequently as possible, perhaps not your telepathy if you don't feel ready,"_ He quickly added before she could interrupt him.

" _I know. I just, I don't know, it's almost like I forgot? Everything has just been so insane recently, I just got caught up in the magical world and being a witch."_ Eleanor looked down at her hands guiltily.

" _Eleanor, you are a witch. And I'd bet a good one at that. But you're also a mutant. You cannot leave one part of yourself behind just because you have discovered something else. Your mutation is as much a part of you as your magic is."_

Eleanor sighed both internally and externally. She knew he was right, it was just so difficult to balance both halves of her. She had only been at Hogwarts a month and a half and had already messed up. How was she going to cope as time went on?

" _You know I am always here Eleanor, but that doesn't mean that you're alone at Hogwarts either. Professor Dumbledore is an incredible man. I trust he has told you about our idea? All you have to do is focus. It may be a tight rope you have to walk, balancing both your mutation and your magic, but even if it is, you_ _ **can**_ _do it."_

They spoke a little more before the professor suggested that Eleanor should sleep. She didn't put up any argument. She was more than ready to sleep. And so she did.

The week passed quicker than expected. The marauders stepped up their 'pranking' game and were undeterred by the girls' ignorance, continuing to try and aggravate them, but Eleanor and Lily seemed to have suddenly developed a new patience. Well, _Eleanor_ did. Over the next four days, Lily had screamed at James five times, but still – that was an improvement as far as those two were concerned. The only time Eleanor actually spoke to them was on the Wednesday at lunch when she caught them sitting in a corridor, randomly sending hexes towards students who walked past them. She had shouted, argued and, she wasn't ashamed to say, slapped Sirius right across the face when he tried to be a smart arse. But most of all, she hadn't lost control. Not even a little. That fact alone had given her extra pep in her step throughout the next few days.

It was Friday afternoon and Eleanor and Lily were sat in the library going through a few assignments; they had given themselves until 6pm to study, and then, Eleanor had decided, they would do something fun.

It was strange, Eleanor thought, but as the school year had gone on, her original group of friends had started to scatter slightly. They were all still very friendly, but she rarely spent any time with Dorcas and Elsie outside of class; Alice had become a ghost since she started dating Frank and Mary, well, let just say Eleanor didn't need to read her mind to know who she kept sneaking off to meet. She could count on one hand the number of times that they had all hung out together recently outside of the dorm room. More often than not, it was just her and Lily hanging out. Maybe it was because they were so similar? Whatever.

The two girls didn't make it to six before the subject of work was brushed aside, not only was the Herbology work that they were attempting extremely dull, but neither could focus properly for long without getting distracted. In fact, all day Lily had been fidgety. Sighing every few seconds, struggling to concentrate, tapping her foot. Eleanor had asked what was wrong multiple times throughout classes but Lily had just brushed her off, saying that she was fine. _An obvious lie._ When she continued to do so in the library, it didn't take long before Eleanor snapped.

"Oh my god, what's wrong with you?" She threw her quill down and it bounced off the other end of the table, "And don't say nothing or I'm going to strangle you."

"What?" Lily looked shocked, as if she hadn't just been sat banging her foot against the table leg for the past half hour.

"What do you mean 'what'? You've been distracted all day and whenever I ask you, you just pretend like you're fine," Lily's eyes flashed down to the table in front of her, "And I don't think I can take any more of this… music!" Eleanor looked at Lily's foot that was still tapping away.

"Oh, sorry," She stopped instantly, straightening herself in her seat, "It's nothing though, honest."

"Lil, if it's causing _you_ of all people to lose focus from work, it's serious," Her voice softened before a horrifying thought struck her, "It's not… y'know…?" Eleanor didn't quite know how to finish the sentence, but pointing at herself seemed to get the message across.

"Oh god no! How could you think that? It's just, ugh, it's embarrassing,"

"Well, I'm glad to inform you that best friends are for embarrassing you, so spill," Lily smiled and Eleanor could see the small resolve she had left dwindling.

Lily groaned, "Ok. I just, I kind of fancy someone."

"Cory Malone," She nodded, "And?"

"Why do you automatically assume it's him?" Lily tutted.

"Because it is, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah…"

Eleanor grinned, "Ok, so what's the problem?"

"I caught him kissing some fifth year earlier this morning." The smile immediately dropped from her lips.

"Oh, Lil, I'm sorry," She put her hand on the red head's back.

"It's ok, I'm just being silly, it's not like I actually had a chance or anything," Eleanor watched as her friend fought to put a sad smile on her face.

"Well if he can't see how amazing you are, then he doesn't deserve you anyway," Even though she knew Lily had a crush on the Ravenclaw, Eleanor had never really spent any time with him so she didn't _really_ know what he was like. She was sure, however, that if he was stupid enough to ignore her best friend, then he wasn't worth her time. "I bet he kisses like a toad anyway,"

"How can someone kiss like a toad?" Lily laughed softly. In reply, Eleanor simply stuck her tongue out repeatedly, watching as her best friend fell into hysterics.

When she was 'shushed' by the miserable librarian, Madam Pince, Lily sobered and smiled at the attempt to cheer her up, "Thanks, but it's just hard. I wish there was a button I could press and get rid of these feelings!" She moaned and dropped her forehead against the table, "Ow."

As Lily rubbed her head, Eleanor tried to hide her laugh, "Ok, well, while I'm sure a lump on your forehead is an attractive look, I don't think it's the best idea,"

When she was sure that Lily was sufficiently cheered up, Eleanor had an idea she was sure would distract her friend. She dragged Lily through the school and up to their dorm. Luckily, the other girls were all still occupied so they had the dorm to themselves. She sat on her bed and took a deep breath, it was make or break time.

In the back of her mind, she wondered if this was a completely insane idea. It probably was in all fairness. It was quite a risk, in more ways than one.

"Ok," Eleanor whispered, mostly to herself, and took in another deep breath. Closing her eyes, she focused on her powers. She felt the strength in her mind, it was chomping at the bit, raring to let go, dying to expand. With all of her attention on the barrier in her mind, she loosened it slightly, feeling the rush of relief as the energy flooded her body. This was the feeling she worried about. It was how she imagined a drug addict to feel after a fix; the immediate release of tension as the staggering sensation surged. The intensity was something she would never get used too. Each time she used her powers, she had to keep herself in check; that feeling could quite easily become addictive. On top of that, it would be incredibly easy to just allow the force to take over her. Just as the professor had warned her many times before, she knew she could do a massive amount of damage if she just for one second let go. The hysteria would make Sunday night's performance look like child's play.

As she felt around the room with her invisible muscle, she reached out to grab a few pieces of clothing that were left on the floor – after all, the room housed six girls, it wasn't going to be spotless. Feeling them float towards her she slowly opened her eyes, marginally more confident in her control.

Despite going to a school for witchcraft and wizardry, seeing and using magic every day, Lily's eyes were wide as sauce pans as she looked around the room. Ever so slowly, Eleanor began to include other items in her energy. First it was a suitcase or two, but it quickly ended up with the entirety of the room floating in mid-air – including the bed that the two girls were sat on.

Lily looked over at Eleanor, her internal struggle was written all over her face, but Eleanor didn't care. The more time she spent using her telekinesis, the more comfortable she felt. Right now, she knew for a fact that she would _not_ lose control. The leash was tight. She could enjoy the pride that was swelling in her chest.

"Can I ask you something?" Lily spoke up. The two girls had been almost silent for the longest time – the only sounds coming from Lily as she gasped and 'awed' at the display. Eleanor nodded, "You know you said you're also a telepath? Do you ever actually listen in on anyone?"

Eleanor sighed and slowly lowered the room back to the floor. "No." At Lily's raised eyebrows she continued, "I haven't used my telepathy in a long time."

"Why?" Lily's voice was small, as if she could tell it was a difficult question.

Eleanor looked her in the eye and bit her lip. There was still that niggling notion that Lily would run away – that Eleanor would be left alone - if she realised just how thin her layer of control was. Over the years, as she built up her control, she had come to the conclusion that the two powers needed two different types of management. It was hard to explain, but her telekinesis needed to be kept in a 'cage'. This way she could put it away in her mind and lock it up. But sometimes, the ability would seep through the bars and come out, just as it had on Sunday. When she _allowed_ the power to come out and play, she could manipulate it however she liked, just as she had right there and then. Her telepathy was another matter. After the death of her family, the ability seemed to increase tenfold, she struggled to contain the voices in her head, and the power even developed so far that she began to control minds around her unintentionally, forcing people into horrid moods while compelling others into fights with one another. Those first few days back at school had been the most dangerous and chaotic she had ever seen. The only way she learnt to deal with them was to put up a wall and stuff everything behind it. However, unlike her telekinesis, her telepathy didn't sneak out – ever. Instead of a cage, this power was like a river stuck behind a dam; if she let one tiny slither through, the whole wall would come crashing down and overwhelm her.

"It's not exactly fun hearing what everyone around you is thinking," She chickened out. It wasn't a _total_ lie, but it wasn't exactly the real reason.

"I guess not…" Lily trailed off.

"Anyway…" Eleanor burst out with, trying to think of something to change the subject to, "Have you spoken to Severus recently? I haven't seen him around."

Lily's face dropped. _Probably not the best topic when you're trying to cheer her up, well done El._ "Uh, yeah, he's kind of shy," _Meaning he doesn't want to talk to you with me around, ok._ Eleanor didn't reply – or at least not out loud. She didn't need too.

It wasn't long before the girls found themselves back down in the common room, sitting with their fellow Gryffindors. Mary had come out of hiding, and Alice and Frank had torn themselves away from each other's faces long enough to hold an actual conversation. Even Dorcas was there, though Elsie had quidditch practice. Eleanor looked around the room, eyeing each of her friends and smiled to herself. Her mind flashed back to her conversation with the professor, he had told her so many times before that mutant or not – she was still a witch. She still belonged at Hogwarts. Only this time; she thought she might be starting to believe him.

It was at breakfast the next day when _it_ happened. Eleanor almost laughed when she realised she had forgotten. As she sat eating her pancakes, peacefully chatting away with her friends about how they were going to spend their Saturday, Professor McGonagall came up and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Miss Douglas? After your breakfast, the head master would like to see you in his office," The marauders, who were sat suspiciously close, let out a chorus of deprecating noises. She rolled her eyes a she watched the teacher walk back out of the great hall. It took a few minutes before the reasoning hit her. _The room!_ Her eyes lit up as she remembered. Lily and Mary looked equally confused as she quickly scoffed down another few bites and practically ran off, promising them that she would see them later.

The door to Dumbledore's office once again opened for her almost as soon as she reached it, revealing the grey haired man who was grinning down at her. Her excited nerves tingled throughout her body as he spoke, "Ah, I trust you know why I called you here?"

 _Here_ was a bit incorrect considering that they were still stood in the doorway of the office, but whatever. Dumbledore looked as excited to get there as Eleanor felt. She could only nod. He chuckled softly.

"Well this way then my dear." He pointed down the corridor and sharply set off, his dark blue robes flying out behind him. Eleanor was left stunned, stuck in front of his office. She gathered herself quickly and briskly jogged after him, walking when she caught up.

The walk itself wasn't far. A few right turns here. A couple of left turns there. More than enough stairs to climb and manoeuvre but Eleanor didn't care, she would walk to Timbuktu if it meant getting some kind of release from the constant tension she felt as a result of her mutation. When Dumbledore stopped and they reached what she assumed was the room in question, she had to pause outside. It was faint, but there was a very definite feeling stirring inside her. Deep down, almost like an instinct; it told her not to go in to the room. Her powers were trying to fight back again. But this time, she glided over the issue like an ice skater.

"Now, please remember, this is a completely untried spell so we don't know how much you will be affected, if at all," He paused, "Are you ready?" His voice sounded like an echo. Like someone who was too far away had spoken to her. His hand pushed the door open and showed that it was indeed an abandoned classroom. Eleanor wasn't sure what she'd been expecting really. Maybe some kind of futuristic, silver plated cage that vaguely resembled Cerebro? But no, it as just a class room. Just like any other class room, desks were lined up in rows, chairs sat in front of each one. A large window presented her with a view of the lake. She could even see a few students ambling down the grassy hill towards the water as they made the most of the Saturday morning. Nodding at the head master, she took a deep breath and stepped forward. She felt soon as she strode through the invisible barrier set around the room.

"Eleanor?" Dumbledore's voice was apprehensive behind her, "What do you feel?"

She checked herself. What did she feel? Something was wrong. Something was… _missing_. It was almost uncomfortable, like she had lost a limb, or her sight without realising. Something was just different. She searched through her mind for the wall or the cage but found nothing. Disbelief slowly began to creep up, for the first time she allowed herself to become truly hopeful. But what did she _feel_? Where was the tension? Where was the struggle? Where was the anxiety?

She turned back to the old man who was still stood in the door way, a grin beginning to form as it registered; she felt nothing.


	7. Chapter 7

**If anyone's interested, i'm looking for a beta? Any offers just pm me!** Also, I still want to know what you guys think of the speed of the story. I'm planning on doing writing passed seventh year so I'm not sure if people think we should be picking up the pace a little? Let me know!

 **DISCLAIMER Anything recognisable is not mine.**

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Time passes. It's just one of those things. It passes at the same speed that it always has, always will, and there's nothing that can change that. There are however, things that can give the illusion of changing that. For instance, a History of Magic? Listening to Professor Binns drone on and on? Well, that gives the illusion of time slowing – maybe even stopping if he really goes for it. On the other hand, amazing friends? Laughter? Generally feeling great? That gives the illusion of time flying. _That_ was what Eleanor was going through. It felt like yesterday that she first started school here, but it was already the middle of November. Sure, work was still difficult, but she was dealing. In fact, she was doing incredibly well for someone in her position. Her powers were back under lock and key – she hadn't felt even the slightest twinge of overwhelming intensity since _that_ night. She had been to the room regularly, it helped a lot to have even a few minutes of relaxation. However, seeing as though her best friend wasn't stupid, Lily had only took so many excuses before she realised that Eleanor was lying to her about where she was sneaking away too.

Eleanor didn't know why exactly she didn't immediately tell Lily about the room. For some reason she didn't want anyone else to know about it – it was almost an instinct to keep the news to herself. She had been doing well but her old reflex to keep others at a safe distance from her made a small appearance. When Lily confronted her about it, she didn't really have any other choice but to tell her. Well, she did have a choice; she could've lied, but she knew Lily and knew that she wouldn't let it go. Plus, part of her _did_ want her friend to know. Best friends were supposed to have inside secrets, right?

As classes droned on, Eleanor could feel the familiar excitement that came with a Hogsmeade weekend. Once every fortnight was _not_ enough as far as she was concerned. Hogwarts was great and all, but Eleanor wasn't particularly pleased to report that cabin fever was still a possibility in a massive castle.

It was Friday evening and the girls were sat in the Great Hall waiting for dinner to appear in front of them. It was nice to have all of her dorm mates together again and be able to catch up – even at dinner that was usually a rare occurrence. It turned out that Mary thought she had been doing a great job at being subtle when sneaking away to meet Connor, so was thoroughly confused when no one was surprised at the revelation.

"Oh come on! Seriously?"

"Sorry Mar," Eleanor grinned back at her.

"But I was really good!"

Lily laughed loudly, "Yeah right!"

"I was!" Mary proclaimed adamantly.

"Mary," Alice began, "Sweetie you told us you were going to study Transfiguration by yourself so you could concentrate more, but when I found you, you stuffed a Herbology book in your face…"

"Maybe I changed subjects!"

"It was upside down!" Alice snorted. Mary just threw her hands up, scowling playfully at her friends.

"You guys are the worst!" She tried to hide her smile and turned away, preparing to fill her plate with the food that had just appeared.

No matter how many times Eleanor had a meal at Hogwarts, she was constantly amazed. The house elves must just cook all day to be able to create this amount of food. Smiling to herself as she grabbed a grabbed a couple of slices of bread, her mind ran back to when Lily had explained about the house elves.

" _So hold up, they work here? Unpaid?" Eleanor was stunned. They had been in the library doing research when she had found a book with a section on house elves, which, of course, reminded her that she didn't know what they were. The book was pretty uninformative. All it had was a small paragraph on the looks and needs of a house elf before moving on._

" _Yeah," Lily said awkwardly, "It's kind of a tricky subject. The house elves 'live to serve' apparently. They can only be freed if they are given clothes by their master. Of courses all of the elves here are freed, Dumbledore freed them as soon as he took over as head master, but they like it here so most of them stayed I think," It eased her to know that her school didn't have slaves working there, but she couldn't help thinking about all of the other elves that were out there, bound to serve their masters. After her 'accidents' when her family died and she had begun to unintentionally control others minds, she had resolved a very strict opinion on controlling others._

" _So they actually say that they like it?"_

" _Well… I've never actually seen one, so I wouldn't know personally. But Dumbledore says they do, and I trust him." Lily stated confidently._

Their plates were dwindling quickly. As usual, the feast was incredible and left everyone stuffed. Throughout the meal, the marauders - who sat a few spaces down from them – were being particularly rowdy. As much as Eleanor was infuriated with them, she _did_ have to hide a smile when James charmed Sirius' hair bright orange. She was in a way sad about their actions. Most of the time they were nice boys, who she could actually imagine being friends with, but it was when their arrogant antics came out that ruined all manner of good will, she was reminded why they weren't on the best terms. She cast a glance in their direction. Sirius was still sporting orange hair but unlike most people who would be thoroughly embarrassed, he was thriving in the extra attention he was gaining because of it. Remus and James were almost falling off their seats with laughter as he continuously flicked his hair dramatically from one side to the other. Peter was both laughing and stuffing his face.

"Excuse me?" A tap on her shoulder caught her attention. She turned to see a Hufflepuff boy stood next to her. She recognised him as Francis Elliot, she had seen him around school, and was pretty sure that he may have even been in some of her classes. "Um, hi. I'm not sure if you know who I am…?"

"Of course I do, Francis," She could practically taste the nerves coming from him.

"Oh, right. Well, I was just wondering, if maybe… seeing as though it's a Hogsmeade weekend tomorrow, well… if you didn't have anyone to go with… if you would maybe, want to go with me?" His cheeks flushed a soft pink. The question left her speechless for a few seconds. She had spoken, maybe, seven words to Francis all year, and he was asking her on a date? She gathered herself quickly, and brought her eyebrows down from her hair line.

"Oh… uh, sure?" Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw her friends' gaping mouths and wide eyes, but what was she supposed to do? Turn him down in front of everyone in the middle of the great hall? Especially with the marauders, very obviously, watching. Anyway, he seemed a sweet boy. From what she knew of him, he was kind although very quiet. His blonde hair constantly flopped in his face, always in the way of his blue eyes. He had a rounded face and wasn't particularly slender. Despite not being Eleanor's 'type', he wasn't _awful_ looking.

His eyes lit up as she answered him, "Great! Uh, I'll meet you at the entrance doors tomorrow at… say 10?" She nodded up at him, "Great! I'll see you then! This is going to be great!" With that he turned and walked back to the Hufflepuff table, a noticeable spring in his step.

As she turned back around, she was faced with more shocked faces than she could cope with.

"What?"

"Nothing! Nothing…" Mary grinned, "Everything's _great!_ " She burst out laughing as Eleanor threw a bread roll at her.

The next morning Eleanor was woke by a continuous poking sensation in her side. She rolled over to see Dorcas stood at the end of her bed. A beaming smile was on her face, but her eyes showed an expression that Eleanor had come to know _very_ well. She rubbed her own eyes, clearing away the sleep and sat up. Dorcas began to bounce slightly. Eleanor sighed.

"Dor, it's way too early for this…"

"It's 9! You have only one hour to get ready for your date!" Unlike Dorcas, Eleanor could quite easily get fully ready in one hour and have plenty of time to waste. She just stared at the other girl, "Oh please El?!"

Throwing the duvet off of her, she headed to the bathroom to shower, "As long as you don't make me look like a clown!"

Even though she would've loved a nice, relaxing shower, Eleanor couldn't enjoy the hot water because of a constant banging on the bathroom door. Dorcas was giving her reminders every 2 minutes of how much time she had left. Sighing, she rested her head against the wall and did her best to block out the noise. Her muscles were tense; the hot water did wonders for the knots in her back but as soon as they started to release, that familiar knocking brought them back. Eventually, she gave up and turned the shower off before stepping out. Rubbing the mirror so that she could see herself, Eleanor took a quick inspection of her face. Her hair was stuck to her unusually clear skin. That was one thing she knew she was lucky to have; clear skin. Especially at her age, she definitely should not have been a stranger to spots but she was. Debating between whether she was lucky and was never going to have spots, or it was just a matter of time before they all came at once – she decided to stay on the optimistic side of life and declare that she would just always have clear skin.

After she dried herself off she left the bathroom, covered up in her dressing gown, and was immediately assaulted by Dorcas.

"Ok, so I was thinking…"

If she was honest, Eleanor blocked out getting ready. Dorcas bounded around the room like an overly excited puppy as she practically painted the make up onto Eleanor's face, not giving her a choice in how she looked. She had also demanded that she chose Eleanor's outfit, but was kind enough to give Eleanor a choice between two. Eleanor was extremely grateful, it wasn't like she had spent the past 10 years dressing herself – she definitely needed her help. When she told Dorcas this, she either didn't catch the sarcasm or ignored it and simply said, "You're welcome," much to the amusement of her dorm mates. When Dorcas finally stepped back and declared that she was ready, Eleanor hesitantly headed over to the mirror in the bathroom. If it hadn't been obvious by her enthusiasm, the skill and proficiency Dorcas had used was a clear sign that she loved all things 'makeover' related; she was actually very talented Eleanor noted as she inspected her reflection – not that she would ever tell her and risk this becoming a regular occurrence. Her blonde hair was pinned half up, half down, lying down her back in gentle curls. A few loose strands framed her face which had been expertly made up; thankfully, Dorcas had took into consideration Eleanor's modest personality and had used only natural tones, par the red lipstick. She couldn't stop the blush as she looked over herself – she had to admit, she _did_ look pretty. For her clothes, Dorcas had 'recommended' – another word for forced in her face – either a short skirt or skinny jeans, needless to say Eleanor chose the jeans. She paired them with a simple red and white stripy jumper and trainers, much to Dorcas distaste.

As Eleanor escaped Dorcas' clutch and headed down to meet Francis, she realised that because of the mornings exploits, she hadn't had a chance to feel nervous. But now, when all she had to focus on was walking, she felt the nerves. Why was she nervous? It was just a bit of fun, she barely even knew the boy.

Rounding the corner, she instantly spotted Francis. He was stood leaning against the huge archway with one hand in his pocket and the other holding a single rose. Eleanor could see he had made an effort, he wore a smart shirt with jeans with a Hufflepuff jumper stuck between his arm and side. His blonde hair bore a massive amount of gel in what she assumed was an attempt to control it – it hadn't worked. Anxiety written all over his face, she noticed as she neared him. He was still intensely focused on the floor as she reached him and coughed gently. His head shot up and he broke out in a small smile.

"Hi," He pushed himself up off the wall, "You look, uh, nice,"

Eleanor grinned as he nervously smiled at her, "Thank you, so do you." The small compliment caused a rousing blush.

"So, uh, shall we go?" He gestured towards the open doorway, "Oh, this is for you," He seemed to remember the rose he held and handed it to her; well, more like threw it at her.

Once again, Eleanor couldn't stop herself from grinning at him, "Thank you," She smelled the flower softly, "Are you nervous?"

Francis blushed even harder and looked back at the floor, "A little,"

"Me too," His eyes flashed up and met hers. They had a silent conversation in which Eleanor tried to will as much confident encouragement towards him as she could. After at least 30 seconds, he nodded slightly.

"Well then, shall we?" This time she accepted the offer and they both set off towards the carriages.

The ride down to Hogsmeade was sufficiently awkward. They ended up stuffed into a carriage with three other students, none of which Eleanor knew. Being stuck in a small space with other people was awkward in a normal situation, but a first date? _Fate is just laughing at me right now_ , Eleanor thought as they finally arrived, the carriage slowing to a stop. The others forced their way out first before Francis jumped down himself, turning back to hold a hand out to help Eleanor down the few steps. She smiled softly at the gesture and took it. His hand was oddly warm for someone in just a shirt and jeans in November in Scotland. Despite what his eyes said he wanted, he dropped her hand as soon as her feet touched the ground.

"So…" Eleanor started as they walked up the main street, "What do you want to do?"

"I was thinking, we could go to Madam Puddifoot's?" Francis stuffed his hands into his pockets. Eleanor cringed a little internally but plastered a smile on her face. She had never been in, but from what little she had seen and heard of the place, Madam Puddifoot's was where the lovey-dovey, over the top romantic couples went on dates – and over the top romance was _not_ her thing. But one look at the puppy dog eyes that Francis was doing – whether intentional or not, Eleanor wasn't sure yet – got her nodding and on her way to the café.

When they reached the building, she looked it over with caution, as if searching a bomb rather than a place to eat. Only a few students were there but considering it was still fairly early, Eleanor wasn't surprised. This left them with a choice of tables. Francis suggested the window table, noting that the sun was beginning to show and it would be nice to sit in the warmth. Eleanor wasn't particularly fussed until a few minutes after they sat down and the marauders walked passed. When they didn't make it passed without noticing her, she decided that fate was for sure laughing at her today.

Sirius' loud voice rang through the quiet street, "Douglas!" His arms wide open. Eleanor gave him a certain finger to which he just laughed, "I know you love me really El! Hey Francy!" The other boys laughed as he waved and headed off, leaving Francis, once again, blushing furiously, and Eleanor just plain furious.

"Sorry about him," She grumbled. She was going to have to talk to one of the marauders soon, preferably Remus – he was the one most likely to actually listen and not just be childish the entire time. Plus, if she got Remus on board, maybe there was a chance of him being able to control the others?

Eleanor would be the first to admit, Madam Puddifoot's was every bit as cringe worthy as she imagined it to be, but she actually had a good time with Francis. Despite his obvious nerves, Francis was the perfect gentleman; holding doors for her, pulling out her chair, offering her his jumper - all completely unnecessary actions of course, but appreciated nonetheless. As they spoke, Eleanor learned that Francis had a witch for a mother and a muggle for a father; they had met many years earlier in muggle London when his mum had been exploring muggle towns for the first time and didn't anticipate how dangerous crossing a busy road could be. Anyway, his father came to her rescue when she was knocked down and took her to hospital, staying with her until he was sure she was fine, but by then the two had built up a kinship that neither wanted to let go of – thus the relationship of Ivy and Nigel Elliot was born. He was an only child but had always wanted siblings. Eleanor told him that both of her parents were muggles and was grateful when he didn't press for information about her family, not even Lily knew about them. She was pretty sure she had successfully diverted his attention without raising suspicions, but Francis didn't seem the sort to confront her even if he did suspect something.

As he stood to go order their third set of drinks, Eleanor felt herself smile. Seeing as the day was getting on, the café was a lot more hectic than earlier – leaving multiple bags in the way for Francis to trip over on his way to the counter. She watched as he coughed embarrassedly and apologised before continuing. A small laugh rose from her throat. He was pretty adorable. Eleanor was confused as to why she had never took any real notice of him before. Perhaps it was because he was so quiet? It was fairly evident how his gentle nature could be over looked when other students such as the marauders were in the same class, but she internally chastised herself for unintentionally following the crowd. If she had had full control of her telepathy and could 'turn it on', she would've noticed him sooner – of this she was sure. After just a couple of hours, she could tell that he was a caring person and his mind would've stood out to her.

"So where did you say you were from?" Francis asked as he sat back down with their drinks. Eleanor had tried but he'd refused to let her pay for anything.

"Wimbledon. It's just south of London but I spent the last four years at school in America,"

"I thought you sounded a lot posher than me," He joked, letting his northern accent fully ring out, "But that's so cool! I've always wanted to go to there! Where about was your school?"

"New York," She muttered, trying to think of one of the wizarding schools in America in case he asked for the name of her former school – _was Ilvermony one of them?_ She needn't have worried herself as he didn't push for more information.

"That sounds amazing. It's one of my dreams to go to New York. Is it really as incredible as everyone says?"

She let a relieved laugh out, "Well, I didn't live right in the centre of the city, but yeah, it's pretty extraordinary. You should definitely go if you ever get the chance."

Regardless of the awkward beginning, the day was going brilliantly. The conversation flowed easily; so easily in fact, that when 2 o'clock rolled around, Eleanor was left wondering where the hours had gone. Francis had worked his way closer to her so discreetly that in the end, it seemed as though they had always been sat right next to each other, their knees brushing every so often. Eleanor waited for the fairy tale reaction of butterflies in her stomach as they repeatedly touched but felt nothing other than his knee knocking hers. _Butterflies in my stomach is a bit far-fetched_ anyways, she thought.

When the two of them eventually decided to leave Madam Puddifoot's, Eleanor felt a warm hand work its' way into hers. She looked down at their conjoined hands and then up at Francis, who was blushing slightly but otherwise showing no other signs that anything else had occurred. Smiling to herself, she didn't mention it as he held the door open for her and they stepped out into the cold.

Students were filing in and out of shops left, right and centre. _The store owners of Hogsmeade must love when the school let out for the weekend_ , Eleanor thought to herself. She half expected to see her friends wandering around but it seemed that they had actually listened to her when she warned them to not follow her around – no matter how much they thought they'd be able to get away with it. After a few minutes of idly strolling down the main street, Francis suggested they go to Honeydukes. Her face must've portrayed more excitement than she thought because she didn't even have too reply before he grinned and headed down to the store. Eleanor's stock pile was in desperate need of refilling – despite being fairly certain that she was soon going to weigh the same as Hagrid.

As usual, Honeydukes was packed to the brim with students all grabbing their chocolate fixes.

"It's so crazy in here," Francis said as he pushed his way over to her. She was standing in the corner next to her favourite candy; Cauldron cakes. Lily had been a very bad influence on her eating habits.

"I know, can't exactly blame anyone though," She grinned back at him.

"So what else are you wanting?" He asked after gathering a few Cauldron cakes.

"Oh no, you are _not_ paying for this as well!"

"A gentleman never lets a lady pay,"

"An old fashion gentleman maybe, but this is the 70's ergo I'm paying." With a smirk, she snatched the chocolate out of his hands and headed over to the queue. Before long, she watched as Francis was pushed from pillar to post by rowdy people all wanting to beat the other to the line so she told him to just wait for her outside. Considering that the shop was full, the line wasn't particularly long. She could have done with it being a lot shorter however, when a familiar voice chirped up from behind her.

"Well, well, well, where's the boyfriend Douglas?"

Sighing, she didn't even turn around, "What do you want Black?"

"Nothing, just making friendly conversation…"

"Considering we're not friends that is a difficult thing to do."

Any other person on Earth would have heard the iciness in her voice and shut up – in fact a couple of people in front of her even turned around with slightly bothered faces when she spoke – but nope, Sirius Black was not like any other person on Earth.

"You wound me El," She didn't have to look to know that his hand was dramatically thrown across his chest, but the use of her nickname had her spinning around.

"Don't call me that."

"Why not?" He smirked. She silently scolded herself for biting.

"Just don't. In fact, why don't you just go run along and completely humiliate someone?"

"I have to pay for these first," He said completely seriously, holding up some chocolate bars in his hand, "Is that what this is all about though? Seriously? You're still pissed that we joked around with that second year?" Eleanor felt her hand twitch as it longed to slap him. Slap that stupid smile off his face. Instead, she just turned back around. _Just two more people and then you can pay and leave. Just two more people._ When she didn't answer he continued, "Oh come on El," She heard the grin in his voice as he used her nickname again, "we were just messing around…"

Eleanor knew if she was honest with herself, she would find that it wasn't the particular scenario that had her so angry – sure, she was pissed on behalf of Sam, but it was more than that. They made her lose control. Made her dangerous. The fact that she couldn't even tell them the real reason behind her anger only annoyed her further. _Ugh._

"Sure," She scoffed.

"We were! He knows it's all a joke!"

"Ok, I'll make you a deal. If you can tell me his name, I'll drop it." She looked at Sirius who had a - dare she say _ashamed?_ \- look on his face. A few seconds passed without a reply, "That's what I thought." Eleanor turned away from him to pay for her candies and did give him another glance as she walked out onto the street.

"You ok?" Francis asked with a smile as she walked over to him, handing over his sweets. Pushing down her frustration towards Sirius, Eleanor faked a grin.

"Great."

After walking aimlessly around for the better part of an hour, Eleanor suggested they started the journey back up to Hogwarts. It wasn't far but setting off early meant they didn't have to keep to a certain speed. Francis took her mind away from the marauders quickly, inadvertently reminding her how much she enjoyed his company. In spite of her initial doubts, Eleanor'd actually had a good day. Francis was sweet. He didn't randomly hex people just because he felt like it. Sure, he was shy, but that wasn't necessarily a _bad_ thing – it just meant she didn't have to worry about him causing a ruckus just to be the centre of attention.

When they reached the castle and Eleanor told Francis she best go see her friends in the Gryffindor common room, he insisted that he walk her to the door, claiming that every self-respecting gentleman walked a lady to her door – Eleanor didn't feel like pointing out she was in no way, shape or form a lady, even on her best day. As they reached the portrait, she turned to face Francis. She couldn't say the password with him within hearing distance so was stuck. He stood awkwardly in front of her, his internal battle practically written on his forehead. Even though it was her first date, Eleanor wasn't naïve, she'd seen movies; she knew what stereotypically happened when a guy dropped a girl off at her door. Francis shuffled his feet around as he faced her.

"So, I had a really great time today,"

"Me too," She smiled. Francis' eyes fell back to his shoes, "Maybe we could meet up tomorrow and do something?"

His face brightened as she spoke, "Yes! Yes, we could do that!"

"Well I promised Lily we'd do homework in the morning, but sometime after lunch?"

"Yes! I'll meet you here? Or at the entrance hall?"

"The entrance hall will be good. 2 o'clock ok?"

"Great! That's great! See you tomorrow!" Francis pulled her into a quick hug before springing down the stairs. Eleanor smiled to herself as she watched him go. Turning back to the fat lady, she whispered the password and took a deep breath as she prepared herself for the onslaught of questions undoubtedly headed her way.

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 **Again, any opinions on the speed of the story?**


	8. Chapter 8

Not gonna lie, I'm really enjoying writing this story! I just finished chapter 12 so I'm well in my schedule - it's my plan to be at least 3 chapter ahead at all times - so we're going well. Hope you guys enjoy chapter 8!

 **DISCLAIMER** **Anything recognisable isn't mine.**

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The rest of the weekend flew by. _Well_ , after Lily and the other girls were through with their attack of enquiries – which took the better part of the night – it flew by. Sunday involved finishing all of the homework that Eleanor had not yet completed and then hanging out with Francis. The weather was still warm enough to go out by the lake so they made the most of what was probably one of the last nice days of the year. Winter in Scotland could be rough apparently. Once again Eleanor enjoyed spending time with Francis. He was still nervous around her and made her laugh when he constantly dropped things because of this. Eleanor was starting to think that his face was just permanently red. They sat, they read, they talked. It was… nice. Just _nice_.

Classes came around far too quickly. Mondays were her worst mornings of the week so getting out of bed was an extra struggle for Eleanor that day. Herbology and History of Magic made her want to cry but she knew the worst was yet to come. Muggle Studies. A class perfectly enjoyable on its own and _would_ be so if only it wasn't for one Mr Black. The marauders were, of course, in her other classes, but at least she had her friends with her then. In Muggle Studies, she was stuck with him, alone. As she entered the classroom, she was unpleasantly surprised to find him already sitting down on his seat next to hers. Stowing the childish instinct to move seats, Eleanor straightened her back and headed over.

"Douglas," Sirius nodded. Eleanor nodded curtly back but didn't speak; it made Sirius chuckle, "Come on El, what's it going to take to get you to talk to me?"

"I do talk to you."

"I meant something other than giving me ear ache," He smirked.

"Well you should have specified." Eleanor tried to discreetly move her stool as far from him as possible but failed. Sirius let out a bark of a laugh, catching the attention of Professor Mailer, who looked over curiously.

"Now you don't even want to sit next to me?"

"It might surprise you to find that I've actually never wanted to sit next to you." She lied. Of course it was a lie. Before he forced her to lose control, she actually looked forward to this lesson _because_ she sat next to Sirius. He was impulsive, sarcastic and a lot of fun. The more Eleanor thought about it, the more she started to entertain the idea that the reason she was so angry with Sirius particularly was that she was hurt. She thought Sirius was her friend, and whether he knew it or not, he had been directly involved in Eleanor's worst fear coming true.

"Sure, sure," Sirius nodded beside her, that stupid grin still taking centre stage on his stupid face.

He lasted five minutes before trying to talk to her again.

"You never answered my question," Eleanor didn't respond so he just continued, "What's it going to take for you to talk to me again? As much as I like talking to the smartest _and_ most attractive person in the room, it's also pretty cool when someone else speaks too," Eleanor just continued with her work. She didn't know what to say. What would it take? "You want me to apologise to Sam?" That caught her attention. Eleanor turned to look into his grey eyes with her widened ones, "Yeah, I, uh, I found out his name yesterday,"

Eleanor took a second and thought about it. It would be nice if Sam had an apology but, as she had already established, she wasn't mad because of what happened with Sam. Or at least, not in the way Sirius thought. But how could he apologise for something he didn't even know he had done? And Eleanor couldn't exactly _tell_ him what he did without blurting out about her mutation. Not really the greatest idea. It was a catch 22 situation.

"Why?"

Sirius was caught off guard, "Why what?"

"Why should you apologise? Why did you find out his name?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow, "Why should I apologise?"

"No, _I_ know. Just wanted to see if you do."

He rolled his eyes, "Because I was a dick." He looked at her expectantly. She nodded at him, "And I found out his name so I could shove it in your face." _And there goes any kind of mature conversation._

Figuring that an apology to Sam was going to be the closest thing _she_ would get to an apology, Eleanor hesitantly agreed.

"Ok. If you apologise to Sam, _and_ don't do anything awful like that anymore, I'll be your friend again,"

"Woah, slow down there Douglas. 'Friend' is a strong word and I'm just not sure I'm there yet…" Yet again, Eleanor wanted to slap him. She was becoming resolved to the fact that constantly wanting to slap Sirius was just going to be something she might have to put up with.

Despite the fact that he hadn't yet apologised to Sam, Sirius spent the rest of the lesson acting as though they were best friends – as if they hadn't spent the past month in a feud – happily returning to the playful Sirius that Eleanor was so familiar with. As much as Eleanor wanted to give in and play along, _she_ spent the rest of the lesson with a stiff upper lip. That's not to say that Sirius didn't pull a few quick smiles from her but she did her very best to hide them from him. She couldn't help it. For some reason, all he had to do was _look_ at her and she was grinning like a Cheshire cat – it made staying mad at him all the more difficult. It was one of the longest lessons Eleanor could remember. She didn't even notice what it was about either – all she could focus on was Sirius sitting beside her, doing his best to get her to break her stern expression. It was hell.

Eleanor was half way out of the door when she felt a hand around her elbow stop her.

"Wait up," Sirius appeared through the crowd.

"We're not friends _yet_ Black,"

Rolling his eyes again, Sirius smirked, "I know that, but we both know that you won't believe me if I just _say_ that I've apologised to Sam so I figured that you should see it." As much as she hated to admit, Eleanor did see his logic, she wouldn't have believed him – not that she would tell him that he was right. Oh no, this was one ego that did _not_ need stroking.

Walking down to the great hall, Eleanor stayed in silence, much to Sirius' annoyance.

"OI!" Sirius yelled over to his friends as they entered the doors. James' head shot up, along with Remus' and Peters'. As she and Sirius neared the Gryffindor table, Eleanor could see Lily sitting further up, watching her with a confused look. "We're going to go apologise to Sam,"

"Who?" James quirked an eyebrow.

"The second year you guys stuck up on that flag pole last month," Remus supplied. James nodded.

"Ah, yeah that was funny," James burst out laughing at the memory and Peter followed suit. Out of the corner of her eye, Eleanor could see Sirius struggling to keep a straight face. She sighed and threw her hands in the air before pushing past him and stomping over to Lily.

Groaning as she sat down, Eleanor let her head drop onto the table.

"What was that about?" Lily chirped up.

"Sirius reckons he's going to go apologise to Sam Hadley and then be my friend again," Eleanor replied without lifting her head.

"Really?" A strange tone took over Lily's voice. A tone that _did_ make Eleanor lift her head.

"What?" She asked, looking at her friend who was stunned.

"Nothing, I've just never known him to apologise for anything,"

"Oh no, it's not just him, he's decided that the rest of them are going to apologise as well apparently," Casting a quick look in his direction, she saw Sirius leaning down talking to James.

"HA! James Potter apologise?!" Eleanor smiled as she turned back to Lily. "I'd sooner see pigs fly." With a determined nod, she turned back to her food. Eleanor followed suit, picking out a few sandwiches from one of the huge plates in front of her, but it wasn't long before she was disturbed again. And surprise surprise, it was Sirius, _again_. Eleanor gave him a look but he just grinned at her.

"Come on then," He gestured to the top of the Ravenclaw table where she saw Sam sitting having lunch with his friends. Eleanor looked past Sirius to see Remus, Peter and a reluctant looking James stood behind him. Looking back up at Sirius' face, she surprised herself by struggling to keep a smile of her own from making an appearance. Eleanor grabbed Lily's elbow - ignoring her feeble arguments as she tried to eat – and stood her up. If Eleanor was going to see this, so was Lily. "Now, I take it you would prefer a more intimate apology rather than, say standing on a table and shouting it at him?" Sirius asked as the two girls pushed their stools back under the table. Eleanor put on her best glare and he just laughed, "Thought so."

"Excuse me fine sir," Sirius tapped Sam on the shoulder when they reached him. Having been sitting facing the other direction, poor Sam was not at all prepared for what he was faced with when he turned around. His eyes turned to sauce pans and he instinctively grabbed out to one of his friends for back up.

"It's ok Flaggie, we're here to apologise," James said. Eleanor winced slightly at what was probably Sam's new nickname – or at least as far as the marauders were concerned. Unsurprisingly, James' words did little to sooth Sam.

"From the bottom of our toes, we all want to apologise," Remus coughed, "Ok, me, James and Pete want to apologise," Sirius corrected himself, "We shouldn't have stuck you up that pole, even if it was hilarious," Eleanor glared at him as he started to laugh and he quickly collected himself, "But yeah, sorry. Won't happen again." Sirius ended his, frankly horrific, apology with a cough and a salute.

"Sorry mate. Wasn't cool of us at all." James clapped a hand over Sam's shoulder who flinched slightly. Lily's eyes widened as she listened. Behind her, Eleanor heard Peter squeak something that sounded roughly like 'sorry'.

Sirius looked up expectantly at Eleanor as the last of his friends apologised, his arms held out as if asking for a hug.

She just scoffed at him and headed back to the table, failing to hide her grin as she used his words from earlier, "A hug? Hmm, I don't know if I'm there yet."

The school day ended and Eleanor found herself in the library with Lily and Francis. Lily had been persistent in her pursuit to 'meet' the boy her best friend was dating – despite Eleanor's many reminders that she technically had already met him. Things were going well as they sat at the table together. In a way that only best friends could, Eleanor silently asked Lily what she thought of him. Lily squinted her eyes as she pretended to think then smiled and nodded. This made Eleanor grin; Lily's approval was important to her. Eventually Lily yawned dramatically and declared she was going to bed Francis didn't catch on but Eleanor did of course. She rolled her eyes as Lily gathered her books and stood.

"See you later El," She said with a wink, turning to Francis before she head out the door, "It was nice to meet you Francis!"

"She's nice," Francis said when they were alone.

"Yeah, she's the best," Eleanor smiled.

"I was a bit nervous to meet her if I'm honest," Eleanor raised her eyebrows at him, "She's a bit… intimidating," Francis chose his words carefully.

"How's that?" Eleanor laughed slightly. Lily Evans was the nicest person she had ever met – intimidating wasn't exactly a word Eleanor often used to describe her.

"Well, her fights with James Potter are kind of legendary…" Francis trailed off. _Ah_.

"Yeah… She's actually only like that with him. He's an expert at pushing her buttons until she explodes," Eleanor smiled at him to which he nodded politely.

"Francis, what are we?" Eleanor spoke up after a few minutes silence. She had been trying to focus on her work but couldn't. Eleanor had told Lily that she was dating Francis, but _was she?_ They hadn't exactly spoken about their relationship, and what that relationship might be. But that was what happened right? People go on dates and then decide whether they want to be together… right? Eleanor was certain that Francis wasn't going to be the one to bring it up. So she decided to bite the preverbal bullet.

"Huh?" He looked up from his work confused.

"This…" Eleanor gestured with her hands between them. Realisation flooded his face.

"Oh! I, uh, I don't know… What… What do you want to be?"

Eleanor was slightly perturbed by his predictably neutral answer. "That's what I was asking you,"

"Ok," He flushed, glancing quickly back down at his work before his eyes found hers, " _I_ this it should be official, l-like you be my girlfriend. Do… Do you want to?" _There it was_. The question seemed so big. So formal. Final. Eleanor did enjoy being around Francis, but they hadn't really spoken before two days ago – at this speed, they'd be walking down the aisle by the time the month was out. Her mind flashed to an image of Eleanor in a big, puffy white dress that rustled like toilet paper when she walked. She cringed at the thought and shook her head slightly to brush the notion away. Apparently, the shaking of her head wasn't as slight as she thought, when she caught sight of Francis' face falling. "Oh… ok…"

"No! I didn't mean- I…" Eleanor stammered, "Yes. Yeah, ok." Francis eyes widened as he looked at her, his face beaming.

"Great!"

"Yeah!" Eleanor tried to match his level of enthusiasm, "That's just _great_." She muttered quietly.

When Eleanor entered the Gryffindor common room that night after she and Francis had said their goodbyes, Lily was, of course, still awake and sat waiting for her.

"Ok, hold up," Lily started. Eleanor had just finished explaining what had happened when Lily left, "So you're together now? Like properly?"

"Yeah,"

"You don't look so sure…" Lily laughed softly. To be honest, Eleanor _wasn't_ sure. She was beginning to regret bringing up the whole conversation with Francis. But Francis being bold and asking her to be his girlfriend was the last thing she expected. She had actually be counting on his quiet nature to get her safely through the awkward topic. "Do you not particularly like him or something?"

"No, I do. I just, I don't know." Eleanor struggled to find words to match how she felt, "It's just that, he's sweet. Y'know? He's sweet and kind and shy. He's just nice. I just don't know if I see him in that way. He's such a nice guy but… I mean, we haven't even kissed yet!"

Lily closed her book and put it down, turning all of her attention to Eleanor. "So kiss him then."

"Excuse me?"

"Kiss him," Lily repeated as if it was obvious, "If you're not sure how you feel about him, kiss him. You'll be able to tell by a kiss whether you see him as a friend or more."

"I just feel so bad. Like, when he thought I was rejecting him, he looked so sad so I just, kind of, accidentally said yes," Lily burst out laughing.

"How do you accidentally get a boyfriend?!" Eleanor playfully slapped Lily across the arm.

"It's not funny! This is serious!" Lily continued with her sniggering, "Oh for crying out loud! At least he's not scared of me!" Eleanor quickly thought of a new tactic – she was right, Lily sobered immediately.

"What do you mean?"

Telling her about Francis' anxiety about meeting her had Lily blushing bright red.

"Oh god, everyone's going to think I'm this monster!" She cried, hiding her face with her hands. Eleanor began to laugh but was stopped up short by a voice entering the common room.

"Yeah, but you're the prettiest monster I've ever seen," Lily rolled her eyes and groaned as James headed over, Sirius, Remus and Peter trailing behind.

"Oh go kiss a Hippogriff," Lily threw a cushion in his direction as he walked past her but his quidditch honed reflexes meant he neatly dodged it, allowing it to hit Peter instead. Eleanor hid a smile but Sirius caught it a grinned back at her with a wink. James continued on his way to the stairs to the boy dormitory.

"Love you too!" He yelled back down when he was safely half way up, hidden from any other objects Lily could potentially throw at him. The others knew better than to hang around Lily after she'd had an encounter with James and quickly made themselves scarce.

"Don't you dare laugh!" Lily warned, pointing a finger in Eleanor's direction.

Eleanor laughed anyway.

The next day at breakfast Eleanor was still in two minds about her feelings towards Francis, but seeing as he wasn't in the great hall when she entered, Eleanor decided on just trying to get as far through the day as possible before having to think about it. When the other girls had arrived up at the dorm, Lily filled them in and asked if they had any ideas what to do – and boy did they. Eleanor was kept up by Dorcas until the early hours of the morning going through everything in minute detail. By the time she managed to sleep, even Eleanor was sick of the conversation but Dorcas took these things _very_ seriously.

Flopping down on the stool next to Mary, Eleanor's eyes drooped. She was exhausted and because of this she was grumpy. Her mood wasn't helped by the fact that even though she had had the same amount of sleep, Dorcas was, as usual, little miss sunshine. Everyone else had ignored Dorcas' protests and gone to sleep earlier so they were all fit and ready to go also – it was very frustrating. Eleanor didn't even try to keep up with the conversation, food was the only thing she needed right now.

The marauders made their arrival known with the usual amount of flare and animation. A few students even screamed, while others scattered. Eleanor looked down towards the doors and, despite her sleep depraved state, started to laugh. The four boys were currently walking towards the Gryffindor table with what Eleanor assumed was some kind of transfigured object on their heads – transfigured into four horrible costumes. They all had their faces covered and a fake neck sticking out of the tops of their robes giving the illusion that they were headless. If that wasn't bad enough, they had even gone to the length of creating some kind of fake blood and gore, ensuring the end of the neck stump looked as gnarly as possible. Headless hunt ghosts riding around the castle was one thing, but apparently this was too much to some students. Rolling her eyes, Eleanor tried to hide her sniggers as the boys came over and sat down next to the girls. James not so discreetly made sure to sit opposite Eleanor, which just happened to be the seat next to Lily. Peter sat on his left while Sirius sat down next to Eleanor with Remus the seat down from him.

"Ladies," Sirius bowed without taking off his costume, nearly smacking Eleanor and Mary in the face.

"Take that stupid thing off Black!" Mary recoiled from him.

"Wow Macdonald," Sirius laughed, taking the façade off, "Always knew you wanted to get my clothes off," He winked at her but she just turned away with a disgusted look on her face. Eleanor suddenly felt a weird twisting sensation in the pit of her stomach as she watched the interaction. _Weird._ She turned back to her food and put it at the back of her mind.

Conversation carried on as normal. _Well_ , not exactly normal per say considering the marauders had for some reason decided to sit with them so Lily was angrily snapping at James every time he tried to speak. But to be fair that was pretty normal for them. Eleanor was talking with Remus when the mail came. Owls swooped down and she could see students all around looking up with expectant eyes, wondering if there was anything for them. Eleanor didn't bother. She had not received one piece of mail since she started at Hogwarts and wasn't expecting to get any in the foreseeable future. Who was she going to get something from? The professor was the only option and he lived across the other side of the world – a little too far for an owl. Several Gryffindors recognised their own owls as they flew into the great hall. James was one of them, smiling as his pet dropped off his _Daily Prophet_ newspaper. He gave the owl a quick bite of his bacon before it took off again.

"You never get anything," Eleanor heard Sirius say beside her. It took her a few seconds to realise that he was talking to her. She turned to see him looking at her with a thoughtful look on his face as he looked her dead in the eye. Eleanor found herself lost briefly in his curious eyes before she could answer.

"Well noticed," It wasn't exactly her favourite topic. Being surrounded by people getting letters from their loved ones didn't exactly make her feel great – it just reminded her that she didn't have any. Or, at least, any in this country.

"Why's that?"

"Why do you never get anything?" She neatly avoided and turned the question around on him.

"Because my family hates me, what's your excuse?" Sirius said so casually that Eleanor's brain didn't quite comprehend what he said at first.

"Well, mine live in America so…" Eleanor trailed off. It wasn't _technically_ a lie. Or at least that's what she told herself.

"Huh," Sirius raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement before going back to his meal.

A few minutes passed when Eleanor happened to glance up towards the doors to see Francis heading towards the Hufflepuff table. He caught her eye and smiled while giving her a small wave. She grinned back at him automatically. As she thought, Francis didn't come over, Eleanor just knew he wouldn't, not when she was surrounded by all of her friends – marauders half-heartedly included.

Walking into Charms that morning, Eleanor heard a voice calling her.

"Hey guys! You're coming to the match on Saturday right?" Elsie asked as the six girls spread out across the classroom and made their way to their seats. Gryffindor had their first quidditch match of the year at the weekend and Elsie had been on their butts about it for weeks. It was the second match of the year but seeing as though her house wasn't playing the first one, Eleanor hadn't gone. Still, she was pretty excited to see what all the fuss was about. Eleanor understood that it was a lot more dangerous than muggle sports but that was to be expected really – the wizarding world never did things by halves.

"Definitely!" Eleanor replied just before Professor Flitwick started the lesson. Elsie was, of course, thrilled that all of the girls were going. Lily never really went to quidditch matches; mostly because James was on the team, but also because she found it boring apparently. But she had agreed to go this one time seeing as though it was Eleanor's first match. Sirius was also thrilled. He, along with James, was on the team, and the two of them took great pleasure in ensuring that everyone knew this. As excited as she was, Eleanor was slightly anxious as to how they would act if Gryffindor lost. Of course if she brought this up to any of them, she would be confidently assured that such a thing was not possible – it was "just Hufflepuff, for Merlin's sake" in James words.

As they walked to Transfiguration, Eleanor brought up to Lily about Sirius and James being missing.

"Huh, now that you mention it, class _was_ pretty quiet," Lily mused. Quiet was one word for it. Eleanor would've rather used boring. She had missed Sirius. _And James,_ she reminded herself. Transfiguration, however, was one class that, Eleanor was pretty sure, even the marauders wouldn't try to skip – Professor McGonagall did not take skipping her class lightly – so she was certain that they would be seeing the boys in the next class. As it turned out, she was right.

"Sorry we're late Prof, I had to just go send a letter. Real important. Couldn't be helped," Sirius smirked as he and James sauntered in the classroom a few minutes late. McGonagall glared down at the both of them but as usual, neither were clever enough to even pretend to look regretful and instead grinned at her as they took their seats. Eleanor felt herself beam at him, her stomach fluttering a little when he winked back at her. _What was that?_

"I'm sure it couldn't Mr Black," McGonagall said with a knowing look, "Five points each from Gryffindor. Don't be late again."

When the class settled down into their work, Eleanor chanced a look over at the Hufflepuff side of the room. The other fourth years were all huddled towards the far side of the room, much like the Gryffindors were – as if the other house had some kind of disease. Checking that McGonagall was busy, Eleanor threw a spare bit of parchment Francis' way. He looked up as smiled nervously when he saw her looking at him.

"Want to hang out later? After classes?" Eleanor mouthed across the room. Luckily he understood her and nodded back enthusiastically before heading straight back to his work. Eleanor blinked as he turned away from her. _Ok._

It had been decided. She was going to kiss him tonight and see how she felt after that. It probably wasn't the best way to handle things but hey-ho, when life gives you lemons– or in Eleanor's case, when life gives you an accidental boyfriend. She winced a little at the thought. Eleanor did feel bad, terrible even, for potentially playing with Francis' feelings. But maybe she wasn't. She had never had a boyfriend before, maybe this is just how it goes. As hard as she tried to convince herself of this, she couldn't be sure. Weren't people in relationships supposed to want to spend every second together? Especially at the beginning? To be honest, Eleanor was quite ok with only spending time with Francis tonight and spending the day with her friends. Did that make her a bad girlfriend? Probably. But in her defence, she was an _accidental_ girlfriend. _God, I'm so stupid. How do you accidentally get a boyfriend?_ She thought, mentally smacking herself in the face.

Eleanor didn't get the chance to concentrate back on her work before a scrunched up bit of parchment hit her on the back of the head. Turning around, she saw Sirius smirking at her, looking pointedly at the ball he had just thrown. Rolling her eyes, Eleanor leant down and smoothed the parchment out to see a note written on it.

 _Organising a hook up there were you?_ Eleanor looked back at him as she read it. He grinned at her as he saw the expression on her face.

 _You're such a boy_. She threw the parchment back at him. Before she knew it, it was back on her desk. In the back of her mind, Eleanor was fairly certain that McGonagall was going to catch them soon.

 _And you're avoiding the question. Tell me, is Francy down to get freaky?_

 _You're a pig._

 _I'm going to take that as yes._ Eleanor snorted quietly, he was such an idiot.

 _Don't be so crude. Not all boys think about_ that _24/7._

 _Oh, let me assure you – they do._

 _Well Francis is different._

 _Oh yeah, and how do you know that?_

 _For a start, I wouldn't be going out with him if he wasn't._

The notes stopped after that, Eleanor was fairly sure McGonagall was over at Sirius' and James' table but didn't dare turn to look – she needed to get some work done.

When the school day finished, Eleanor once again found herself in the library. She was starting to consider just moving her bed in here for the amount of time she spent in the room. Francis was with her. They were studying… kind of. Francis was studying – Eleanor was trying to come up with a way she could kiss him. It had become more of a mission rather than some kind of impulsive decision as she imagined her first kiss to be. She and Lily had even talked into the tiniest of details such as whose head is going to tilt which way. It didn't feel particularly romantic.

Taking a deep breath, Eleanor grabbed hold of Francis' hand and silently led him toward the back of the stacks, ignoring his surprised exclamations. It was kind of a trashy place really – most of the older students were regulars – but it was the only empty part of the library, and Eleanor had talked herself up too much to put this off any longer.

"What's wrong?" Francis finally got out after stuttering around when she had grabbed hold of him.

"I just wanted some privacy," Eleanor's eyes suddenly found the floor fascinating.

"Why?"

"I wanted to see something…"

"What's that?" Francis asked.

Eleanor didn't know what to say so she did the only thing she could think of. She looked him dead in the eye, leant forwards, and kissed him.

* * *

 **How do you feel about reviewing? *wink wink***


	9. Chapter 9

The longest chapter yet! Next chapter is a long one too! I just finished editing chapter 13 and I have to say, it's my favourite so far! So excited to get it out there!

 **DISCLAIMER** **ANYTHING RECOGNISABLE IS NOT MINE**

* * *

Sighing, Eleanor threw the duvet off her. The curtains around her bed were already drawn back so she could see the light coming through the window. The other girls were just waking up also, slowly dragging themselves out of bed. Across the room, Eleanor could hear Alice gushing about Frank and their date the previous night and she couldn't help it as her mind ran backwards to the events of _her_ previous night.

 _His lips were warm. That was what she first noticed. And dry. The second thing Eleanor noticed was Francis was frozen in place. This wasn't how she really thought her first kiss would be going. Eleanor moved her lips a little against his and could feel his hesitancy as he finally reciprocated, just a little. Eleanor brought her hands up, placing one hand on his cheek and the other on his shoulder, she could feel how tense he was beneath her. His hands hung limply by his sides until she pulled back a few seconds later._

" _I'm sorry," She blushed, suddenly incredibly embarrassed about her forwardness._

" _I-No, just… I-I…" Francis stammered, unable to speak._ Oh dear lord, I've sent him into shock! _Eleanor felt like face palming again. This hadn't been a good idea. Lily was going to hear just how much of a bad idea this was when she got back into the common room._

" _I, I just wanted to try it," Eleanor could feel the heat in her cheeks and kept her face looking down, playing with her hands._

" _No, no… it's, uh… it's ok," Francis finally managed to stutter out._

 _The two of them stood there, neither speaking for, what was probably only a few seconds, but the lingering awkwardness made it feel like years. Eventually Eleanor, took a deep breath and released it sharply._

" _Well I guess I should go, I'll see you tomorrow," As she ran down the stacks and back to collect her books, she half expected him to yell after her but he didn't. And she didn't turn back._

The memory made Eleanor want to smother herself with her pillow. It was _so_ unbelievably awkward. When she got back to the Gryffindor common room, Eleanor hadn't paused and ran straight up to the dorm. Lily, who had been sitting the common room probably waiting for her, rushed straight after her. Eleanor's face didn't return to its original colour until a couple hours later seeing as though Lily demanded a step by step explanation – she had just finished with Lily when Alice and Mary came up and she had to go through the whole thing again. Mary, of course, found the whole thing hilarious and made no attempt to hide her guffaws. Eleanor set her jaw and continued to talk over her as if nothing was going on until she saw Lily's cheek twitch as she tried to hide her laughter as well. It was then that she decided to just go to bed and leave the world's worst friends to just laugh at each other.

"Hey," Lily's voice came from her side, "How're you feeling?"

"How would you feel about checking every room before I go in to make sure he isn't there?" Eleanor said in reply.

"That bad?" Lily let out a short laugh.

"In fact, I might just stay here for the rest of my life," Eleanor rolled over and hugged her pillow.

"Oh no, that's _not_ happening," Suddenly hands were on her arms, dragging her towards the end of her precious bed.

"No! Let me stay here!" She protested but Lily didn't give in easy. Despite her tiny frame, it turned out that Lily was surprisingly strong considering that a few seconds later, Eleanor's bum hit the floor with a louder bang that she appreciated.

"Ow,"

"Serves you right, now go get showered." Eleanor stood up and tried to collect what little dignity she had left as she ran to the bathroom before anyone else could sneak in.

Breakfast that morning was not the most enjoyable experience. Eleanor was constantly looking over her shoulder for Francis, anxious that he would suddenly appear and force her to face last night. She felt absolutely mortified and just wanted to forget the entire thing. After Lily forced her to go through things again on their way down to the great hall, Eleanor had come to the conclusion that she may have inadvertently friendzoned her boyfriend. Her boyfriend of two days. _Getting real serious there El._ She knew that she realistically should've said no when he asked her out. It was too soon. She didn't know him well enough to make a properly informed decision – she still didn't but at least she knew now that kissing him did nothing for her; other than make her want to hide away in a hole out of awkwardness. It was probably best she didn't mention that to him.

Owls suddenly filled the room, swooping down at regular intervals as they delivered letters and a few small packages. Eleanor was brought out of her reverie completely when an owl landed in front of her. For a few seconds she just looked around, who would be writing to her? Certain that the owl was mistaken, she did her best to ignore it but when the animal started to nip at her fingers she snapped back quickly. Untying the letter from the owl's leg, Eleanor turned it around so she could see who it was actually for and give it to them. The owl stole some of her bread and flew away while a small gasp escaped her lips when she saw her own name written on the front of the envelope. There was only the professor… but he was an ocean away, he couldn't send her owl mail, could he? Unless… what if something was wrong? The feeling of dread quickly seeping through her, she tore open the letter and opened it as fast as she could. Unfolding the parchment, she immediately recognised that it was _not_ the professor's hand writing and relief flooded through her. Reading through the short note, Eleanor felt herself start to grin without permission.

 _Douglas,_

 _The fact that you never get mail is just plain sad so seeing as though we're now besties again, I have taken it upon myself to rectify the situation._

 _See? Now you don't have to look like a sad, weirdo loner, being the only one without mail and instead can bask in the knowledge that_ I _have sent you something. Sometimes my thoughtfulness astounds me. You should feel incredibly privileged._

 _James says hi too._

 _The one and only,_

 _Sirius Black._

By the time she finished reading, Eleanor was full on laughing out loud. She looked up to where the marauders were sat further down the table but none of them were looking her way. They were all sat in deep conversation, probably about some prank they were planning. Eleanor couldn't stop grinning as she watched Sirius' face light up suddenly as he and James traded words. She suddenly felt her chest tighten as she took in how bright his eyes were. _This is how I should feel about Francis_ , she thought absentmindedly. _Wait! No._ Eleanor sat up abruptly, _Where the hell did that come from? It's_ Sirius _._ She yelled internally at herself.

Eleanor sharply turned away, already feeling her cheeks heat up. She was suddenly so grateful he hadn't seen her watching him – Eleanor wasn't sure she could handle any more embarrassment. Since when did she see Sirius like _that?_ She had a boyfriend for crying out loud! Sure, it was a boyfriend that she recently found she felt nothing more than friendship for, but still…! Shaking her head to clear any Sirius related thoughts – she couldn't think of him right now – Eleanor felt the guilt creeping back in. The situation with Francis had gotten slightly out of hand and she knew she was going to have to break up with him. But what kind of mean person broke up with someone after a couple of days? The angel on her shoulder, which not surprisingly had Lily's voice, told her that it was kinder in the long run to end it now rather than allow it to go any further and risk Francis getting hurt even worse.

Eleanor felt her emotions begin to bubble – it had been a few days since she had last visited the room and she found herself longing for it. The sheer magnitude of her emotions was, once again, causing her powers to charge around her mind. Her telekinesis pushed and pushed against the cage, desperate to make an appearance, she controlled it easily, but still decided she needed to go to her room. They had Care of Magical Creatures first period, and Eleanor was sure Professor Kettleburn wouldn't mind. Dumbledore had told her that if she ever needed to use the room during classes, all she had to do was tell the professor and they would give her a note explaining her absence from class. The room was the only place she would really be able to sort her thoughts and feelings out.

As breakfast ended and they walked to class, Eleanor told Lily about her plan and Lily agreed to cover for her with the girls.

"Ah! Here we are," Professor Kettleburn exclaimed when the two girls entered the classroom. He was a rather eccentric sort. His robes were always brightly coloured with loud patterns covering them. He also had no regard for danger – perhaps not the best quality in a teacher that handles _dangerous_ , magical creatures on a regular basis – but whatever, at least it ensured the lessons were never boring.

Lily headed to her seat, while Eleanor continued down to the front of the classroom to talk with the teacher.

"Professor, I was wondering if I could have a word?" Eleanor spoke quietly.

"Of course! Of course!" He clapped his hands together, gaining the attention of the few students who had just entered the room.

"I was just thinking, could I perhaps be excused from this lesson today?"

Kettleburn crinkled his eyebrows, "And why would that be?"

"I just… There's a certain room I feel I need to go to…" Realisation dawned on the professors' face.

"Oh! Yes, yes, don't worry about a thing! You must go now!" He shooed her away and Eleanor knew why. Since her 'incident', she had noticed that most of the professors were starting to treat her as if she was a ticking time bomb. It was only McGonagall and Dumbledore who still treated her as if she were any other student. A quick smile in acknowledgment to Lily, and Eleanor was on her way.

The room was quiet. Technically, it was always quiet, seeing as though it was in an almost abandoned part of the castle, but today felt especially silent. Or maybe it was just the Eleanor's thoughts were louder. She found that when she had her powers to contend with, her thoughts only took up a small part of her mind, but in the room, where she didn't have her powers – her thoughts rattled around in her head at a screaming volume. Thinking about it, Eleanor supposed that this is how normal people heard their thoughts; as a voice rather than the whisper she was accustomed too. Still after all this time, she just couldn't get used to the feeling of her mind being empty. In some ways it felt uncomfortable – like that itch that you just can't scratch.

 _Ok, first things first – Francis._ Eleanor listed in her mind. Deep down she knew she needed to break up with him but she just didn't want to hurt him; as much as she didn't feel anything romantically towards him, she still thought of him as a friend. He was a good person and didn't deserve what she had done to him. As much as she and Lily had joked about her 'accidentally' getting a boyfriend; whether she meant too or not, she had played with someone's feelings, and she felt awful about it. Eleanor bitterly regretted bringing up the whole 'what are we' conversation in the first place, but it just came out – a genuine question that was answered in a way she never imagined. The next time she would see Francis that day would either be at dinner or Potions. Really, Eleanor thought it would be better to break up with him at dinner so that he wouldn't be stuck in the same room as her and could go away, but considering that Potions was straight after dinner, that put a spanner in the works. _I mean, we've barely even spent any time together since it was made official, it's just been a bit of fun._ Eleanor worked to convince herself. The guilt was starting to eat away at her.

Guilt only made her think of Sirius and how he looked when he smiled. Since when did she notice his smile? Or rather, since when did she notice his smile, and not want to immediately knock it off his face? She couldn't _like_ him… could she? No, that just wouldn't happen. Eleanor groaned out loud as her internal battle continued.

Eventually, she decided that before she thought any more about Sirius and how she may or may not like him, she had to fix the Francis situation. Making the most of her last few seconds of peace as she walked to the door, Eleanor made up her mind. At dinner she would break up with Francis.

A few lessons later, Eleanor and Lily were sat at the Gryffindor table waiting for the other girls to show up. Eleanor had explained her revelation to Lily – minus the part about Sirius; that could wait for later – and Lily agreed that it was for the best. Being for the best however, didn't stop Eleanor's nerves as she watched the great hall entrance like a hawk for any sign of her boyfriend.

"El, at least try to eat something," Lily encouraged beside her. Eleanor's knees were bouncing and her hands were close to shaking – eating was the last thing she wanted to do, she was fairly confident that if she did, it would end up making a reappearance as she threw it back up. _Why am I so nervous? Oh that's right because you're a horrible person who is about to hurt someone who doesn't deserve it because of your mistake._

It wasn't long before Francis came in, but, ironically, Eleanor didn't notice until he tapped her on the shoulder. Her eyes widened as she turned to see him looking down at her.

"Hey, can we talk?" He asked.

Eleanor nodded, gulping as she stood. Francis smiled slightly and started towards the door. Eleanor followed him, casting a glance back at Lily who smiled sympathetically back at her. Just as they reached the door, Eleanor almost walked into the marauders who were just coming around the corner. She smiled instinctively at Sirius but he just gave her a blank look and continued walking past her. She stood confused for a few seconds before remembering what she was originally doing and rushing after Francis.

He stopped as he rounded a corner and stood in a darkened section of the corridor for privacy.

"Hey," He started nervously.

"Hi," Eleanor chuckled, just as, if not more, nervously.

"I just wanted to talk to you about something,"

"Me too actually,"

Francis eyebrows raised slightly, "Oh? Do you want to go first?" _Ever the gentleman._

"No, no. You can go first," Eleanor chickened out.

"Ok, so please don't get mad," _Never a good sign,_ "The reason I asked you out was, I, uh… it was a test basically." Eleanor scrunched her eyebrows together, _a test?_ "I was talking about it with my friends and they suggested that I ask a girl out as a test, and you're the… well you're the nicest and prettiest girl I know so I just, well, I just went for it really, I didn't really expect you to say yes... And then last night, when we kissed, I realised something. Like, I'm 100% sure now, the test was, uh, a success, I guess you could say?"

"Wait, wait. What kind of test?" Eleanor interrupted him before he could chunter on any longer.

She watched as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath before saying, "I'm gay."

Eleanor physically felt her mouth drop open and her eyebrows… well she wasn't sure they were ever going to come down from the clouds. _He's gay?! Talk about a plot twist._ Francis sat in front of her, anxiety written all over his face as his hands, clasped tight together, twisted around nervously.

"No one knows. Well, my friends do and now you I guess. I didn't know for sure until we kissed last night. And I… I just felt like I should be truthful about why… but I think we should break up…" Eleanor was sure he was still talking but couldn't make the words out. The speed in which the situation had changed gave her complete whiplash. Seeing as though she couldn't figure out what else to do, Eleanor started to laugh. Before long she was in full blown hysterics as Francis stood awkwardly beside her at a complete loss.

When she sobered a little, Eleanor finally managed to squeak out, "I'm not… I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at this situation. I just can't believe it," She laughed, "Don't take this the wrong way, but I was going to break up with you today. That's why I kissed you, I wanted to see if I felt the fireworks etcetera etcetera,"

"And you didn't," Francis finished for her.

"Not really, no…" Eleanor sighed in relief, "I can't believe this, I've been so nervous about hurting you,"

It was Francis' turn to laugh, "I've felt the same way!"

"Wow, I just…," Sighing, Eleanor turned to smile at the boy, "I'm glad you've realised who you really are, and that you trusted me enough to tell me,"

"So you're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad?"

"Well… I did kind of… use you," Francis winced but Eleanor held her hand up to stop him.

"True, but I'm glad I could help, I guess? I really hope we can be friends now?" Francis grinned and nodded.

"Would you mind just keeping… this, quiet for a little while? I don't know if I'm ready for the entire school to know…"

"Of course!" Eleanor pulled him into a hug. When he pulled away, he grinned at her one more time before stepping back and heading down the corridor. _What the hell just happened?_

Before Eleanor had a chance to turn around, the week was over and Gryffindor's first quidditch match was upon them. It had been a strange end to a strange week. The whole deal with Francis was, thankfully, sorted which meant that Eleanor had little left to think about other than work, her powers, her dreams, hopes, fears, anything and everything and _Sirius._ It was ironic that as soon as she realised she may have feelings towards him, Sirius, who usually had a skill for randomly appearing beside her, had used, what seemed like, any excuse to not speak to her. In fact all of the marauders, excluding Remus, seemed to be avoiding her. Eleanor had racked her brain for any possible reason behind their behaviour but when she came up with nothing, she turned to Remus. Turns out, Remus is as helpful as a smack in the face. According to him, they weren't avoiding her, "it was just unfortunate timing and- oh look a butterfly" – he wasn't the best at creating a distraction. Eventually she gave up; Eleanor knew she hadn't done anything to upset them therefore had nothing to apologise for and could comfortably leave them to their own weird behaviours. Comfortably might've been a bit of a lie, they _were_ her friends and Eleanor did _sort of_ miss them, especially Sirius, not that she would ever tell anyone that.

In losing the marauders, _again_ , though, Eleanor seemed to have gained a new friend in Francis. It was crazy how much he had changed after their talk; he was _so_ much more relaxed around her and had even made a habit of coming over and joking around with her throughout the day. It was nice to spend time with him once more, especially now that she didn't have to worry about leading him on. In private, Francis would even talk about boys with her – apparently there was no one who took his fancy but it didn't stop him appreciating from afar. Once she got to know him, Francis was quite funny, and very quick-witted.

As she and the other girls walked down to the quidditch pitch in their full, Gryffindor proud outfits that Dorcas had demanded they all wore, Eleanor caught sight of Francis, who was looking equally 'house proud' in his Hufflepuff hat, scarf and jumper.

"You are so going down," He grinned as he came over.

"Oh yeah, I'd like to see you try," Eleanor winked back.

"You will, we're going to destroy you Gryffindor's,"

Eleanor laughed, "The sad thing is, is that you actually believe that," Francis growled and ran forwards at her, wrapping his arms around her torso, picking her up and spinning her around as she squealed. Eleanor chortled and tried to narrow her eyes at him playfully when he placed her back on the ground. "Bye _Hufflepuff_."

"See you around, _Gryffindor._ " Francis said with a smile as he headed to the Hufflepuff side of the stands.

Eleanor turned back to her friends to see that they had all gone in except Lily who was stood with a smile on her face.

"You two definitely do better as friends," She laughed as Eleanor nudged her side.

Despite knowing the game was played on brooms, meaning it would be in the air, Eleanor, for some reason, never thought about how high the seats would have to be – or in other words, never thought about how many stairs she would have to climb in order to _get_ to those seats. By the time she reached the top her breathing was heavy and her legs like jelly. Sitting down in between Lily and Alice, Eleanor could taste the atmosphere. It was electric. The crowds were buzzing in anticipation of their houses first quidditch match. The commentator was working to create more excitement but it was unnecessary; the enthusiasm was there already.

The teams suddenly shot out from under the stands; the seven Gryffindors in red while the Hufflepuffs stood out in yellow. Eleanor unconsciously focused on Sirius. His dark hair flew around in the wind as he casually swung his bat around. Eleanor felt herself gasp a little as her eyes looked him over – now that she had acknowledged the _slight_ chance she could fancy him, she suddenly found herself unable to look anywhere else. He was sat on his broom, hovering in mid-air as the captains shook hands and prepared for the game. His face was tense, she could see he was in 'game mode', but, as ever, he still had this aura of nonchalance about him – as if he could give a damn about anything. The whistle blew and shocked Eleanor out of her Sirius based attention. _This is becoming ridiculous._ Beside her she heard Dorcas already screaming for Elsie. Searching the pitch, she saw Elsie hovering at the far end of the field, sat on her broom in a defensive stance in front of three large hoops.

If Eleanor was honest, if someone had asked her what the hell was going on, she wouldn't be able to answer. She'd found a talent for blocking out all of Elsie's rants about quidditch and explanations on how the game was played – except now she kind of wished she hadn't. It was fun and exciting watching people zoom around on broomsticks, but it probably would've been a bit better if she understood… well, anything. As far as she could tell, fifteen minutes into the game, Gryffindor were in the lead with the score being 40-20.

Eleanor struggled as her eyes repeatedly found Sirius, he was flying around protecting his team mates from some kind of crazy ball that kept on trying to kill them by the looks of things. She couldn't help but flinch every time Sirius put himself in between the charmed ball and his team mate. He did it so naturally, it seemed like that was his instinct – and not just in quidditch - to put himself between danger and his friends. A few times the ball, which Alice had informed her was called a Bludger, had actually hit him and Eleanor couldn't stop her quiet cries, worry filling her until she saw that he was ok, shaking off the pain before flying off to guard someone else. She wasn't unaware of the looks she was getting from Lily but chose to ignore them.

An hour into the game, the score was 120-70 to Gryffindor, and Eleanor had decided that she did _not_ like quidditch. Her heart couldn't take it. Every time any kind of injury occurred, Eleanor felt her heart clench. Quidditch was _dangerous_. Like real, proper danger. And they played this at a school? It had gotten to the point where a few times she had gone to open the cage in her mind slightly, grab the bludger and change its course; cheating be damned. She refused to acknowledge how all of those instances involved Sirius.

Suddenly a burst of even more excitement exploded through the crowd when the commentator announced that the 'snitch' _?_ had been seen. Again, Eleanor didn't really have a clue, but watched as Tommy Cohen, one of the Gryffindors on the field charged around the pitch, a Hufflepuff hot on his tail. His hand was outstretched as he leant as far forward as possible without falling off his broom. The entire stands seemed to be focused on Tommy and Eleanor felt herself standing up without her permission, along with all of the other Gryffindor spectators. Tommy snatched at what looked like thin air and the commentator exclaimed,

"…HE'S DONE IT! GRYFFINDOR WINS!"

The whole of the Gryffindor spectators screamed, even Lily who 'hated' the sport. Eleanor joined in, but part of her was screaming in relief that the bloody thing was over. She watched as the Gryffindor team shot to the floor and started jumping on each other in celebration. Eleanor couldn't stop herself from laughing giddily when she saw the pure happiness on their faces.

The celebratory mood spilled up into the common room. Everyone was smiling. Everyone was laughing. It was incredible to be a part of. For the first time, Eleanor was beginning to full understand how big quidditch was in the wizarding world. She looked around in wonder at the common room. It had been transformed into a party room, with tables placed around with drinks on, _non-alcoholic_ she was sure, and food piled high. Eleanor had no idea how the heck, this had been done, but there was no doubt in her mind _who_ the heck had done it. The marauders had a knack for entertaining people.

"PARTY IN THE COMMON ROOM!" James Potters' voice suddenly rang through, resulting in a fresh round of cheers. The team had showered and changed before returning to the castle and were all pumped, ready to celebrate.

Dorcas was jumping up and down as she ran over to Elsie, grabbing her in a hug. Eleanor could hear her squeals from the other side of the room.

Sirius was the last of the team to enter the room and after a few moments deliberation, Eleanor put her big girl pants on and set off over to him. She had let his immature avoidance go on for long enough, and Eleanor wanted an explanation, whether it was the intoxicating atmosphere that gave her the courage or whatever she didn't know, but she wasn't about to let him just walk away from her again. As she side stepped between a few younger students, she finally stepped in front of him, effectively blocking his path. She saw a flicker of annoyance flash across his face before he plastered on his usual bravado.

"Douglas!" He grinned at her, but something about the smile was wrong; it wasn't real, "How'd you find losing your quidditch virginity?"

Eleanor was careful to not show the shock of his choice of words on her face, "Oh so you _are_ talking to me? Well that makes a change," Sirius let out a loud laugh, ignoring her question.

"I have to ask though, how does Francy feel about being beaten?" Eleanor blinked at him as he smirked at her. Like his smile, this wasn't _his_ smirk, no this was… this was _wicked_. His eyes were hard as he looked down at her, using his extra height in what Eleanor thought to be an attempt to intimidate her – it didn't work. Before she could answer, James called him away and he tore off.

Eleanor stood totally confused, not to mention furious. Boys had made a bit of a habit of leaving her completely baffled recently. _First Francis, now him… what the hell?_ Something was different with Sirius. The change had been so dramatic, it was almost like a doppelgänger had come in and taken his place. She clenched her fists tight and took a deep breath.

Seeing him playing quidditch - the way he moved in sync with his broom, the way his hair flew around his face, the way that his top would ride up just a little when he swung his bat around - it had brought feelings up that left no doubt in Eleanor's mind that she had to admit, she was officially attracted to Sirius Black. But his recent behaviour towards her had left her wondering if it was just his _looks_ that she was attracted too and not specifically _him_ as a person; if he was going to continue acting this way, Eleanor couldn't imagine even liking him as a friend, never mind anything else. If she had come to the realisation that she could potentially like him last week, she probably would've admitted straight away that it was _him._ He just had this way about him that captivated many people. Sirius was attractive; he knew it and so did a lot of other girls. But up until recently, he had also been fun, exciting and caring. Or, at least caring enough to send her a letter so she wouldn't have to spend another morning watching her peers eyes light up when they received their mail from home. Thinking about it, he had changed the day she received the letter. Had it really been so troublesome to send it to her? If so, she would have rather he didn't bother.

"You ok?" Lily said, snapping Eleanor out of her thoughts. Eleanor took a deep breath and nodded, "You sure? Nothing you want to talk about?"

"Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know…" Lily started, dragging Eleanor over to one of the tables to get a drink. The common room was completely packed with excited voices buzzing around them meaning Lily had to lean in to talk to her, "Sirius Black maybe?" Eleanor's eyes widened and flashed over to her friend. Lily just stood with a knowing look on her face, "I saw how you were watching him today."

"It's nothing,"

"Don't lie to me El," She said taking a sip of her drink.

Frustrated, Eleanor finally opened up to her best friend, "It's just… I don't even know when I started liking him! It's kind of crept up on me and then just before everything ended with Francis I was in the hall and I was just thinking of his smile and how my chest tightens when he smiles and it kind of shocked me, I mean, it's _Sirius_. And the other day he commented on how I never get any mail, then the next day an owl lands in front of me with a letter from him, saying how now I wasn't the only one without mail, like that's weird right? But since that letter he just won't talk to me, I think he's regretting sending it, I mean, what else could it be? He's just avoided me like the plague ever since," Eleanor only finished her rant because she ran out of breath, there was so much more she could go on about to Lily but it would essentially mean the same thing – she was confused.

Lily smiled sadly at her and offered her a drink. Eleanor eyed it warily, "Is there any chance that that drink is completely without alcohol?"

Lily cringed, "Probably not."

"Well I'm going have to say no. Drinking doesn't exactly help with controlling things," Eleanor pointed to herself, her frustrations were already rampaging around in her mind – her control was at its' limit and she didn't want anything else to happen and result in an over flow - and Lily nodded understandingly. Just before starting Hogwarts, Raven had decided that she wanted to be there the first time Eleanor got drunk and if she was away at boarding school, she knew she wouldn't get that chance. Let's just say that it was a _long_ night for everyone else at the house when Eleanor was drunk. Everything was fair game, even taking walls apart, picking up beds with students in and flying them around, she even picked herself up and went for a fly. The professor wasn't best pleased with her, or Raven, and made her promise to not get drunk again.

"Well anyway, are you going to confront him about it?" Lily asked.

"I just did! And he just… I don't know, there's just something different about him. Like the Sirius that I like isn't here tonight, it's not the Sirius I know, he's… cold – like a completely different person."

Lily's eyes glanced past Eleanor and widened before she looked back at Eleanor, "Y'know, why don't we just go upstairs and talk?" Lily grabbed Eleanor's elbow and tried to guide her toward the girl's dormitories.

"What?" Eleanor asked, puzzled at Lily's sudden change in demeanour. She turned her head to look where Lily just had and immediately wished she hadn't.

Sirius was stood at the far side of the room with a sixth year Gryffindor that Eleanor recognised to be Honey Taylor. _Stood_ wasn't exactly the correct word considering that they were connected at the mouth. His arms were tight around her waist, pulling her against him as he ran his hands up and down her sides. Eleanor suddenly felt the urge to throw up. If there was any uncertainty left in her mind that she liked Sirius, it was gone now. Watching him with another girl felt like someone had reached into her chest and squeezed. Eleanor knew Lily was trying to get her out of there to avoid this exact scenario but it was too late. She knew she needed to get out of there but she was frozen to the spot. Her mental barrier was pushing harder and harder in her mind - the shock of the situation opening the cage.

As if he felt the eyes on him, Sirius suddenly broke away from the kiss and looked over at her – a hard, malicious look on his face. His grey eyes bore into hers from the other side of the room and he smirked at her before turning back to Honey. Suddenly her feet could move. Eleanor needed out. She needed her room. She looked at Lily who was still gesturing towards the girl's dormitory and shook her head lightly, pointing to the common room door with her eyes. Lily, thankfully, understood instantly and changed direction, dragging Eleanor over and out of the common room in record time.

"It's ok El, just keep hold of it, we're almost there," Lily whispered as the two girls ran through the corridors. _Click. Click. Clunk. Click. Click. Clunk. Click. Click. Clunk. Click. Click. Clunk._ "You can do it El, just a little further," Lily's voice whispered in her ear.

The tension in her body was almost overwhelming. Eleanor grasped both hands at her head. It was becoming too much.

"Come on El," Lily tightly held her arm around Eleanor's shoulders, effectively dragging her along.

The corridors blurred into one. Eleanor wasn't sure if they were lucky enough to not bump into anyone or if she just hadn't noticed. _Click. Click. Clunk. Click. Click. Clunk. Click. Click. Clunk._

"You can do it. Just stay here El, just stay with me," Lily continually spoke to her as they ran across the school.

Eleanor vaguely noticed the painting's begin to yell as they started banging off the walls. She gripped her head tighter and ran faster.

The room was close now. Just a few more stairs. But those stairs felt like a mountain, like an impossible task set in between her and where she wanted to be – where she needed to be. Nevertheless, Eleanor's feet kept going. _I can do this. I can do this._

When the room was in sight, instead of feeling relief, Eleanor felt worse. Her powers pushed even harder; as if they knew they were soon to be beaten. She could hear Lily's voice coming from beside her but couldn't pay attention to the words, all she could focus on was the door in front of her.

Throwing herself across the threshold, Eleanor collapsed onto the floor, despite feeling extraordinarily lighter. Never had she been more grateful for this room. Lily offered to help her up, but she was content as she was so instead, Lily lowered herself to the ground and lay next to her. Eleanor took deep breaths as the tension released from her body. She could feel the adrenaline pouring out of her as each second went by. Thankfully, Lily seemed to know that she didn't want to talk as her brain went round and round in circles, trying to piece together how she could have lost control twice in as many months.

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 **How about a review? I'd love some constructive ideas?**


	10. Chapter 10

I'm going away over the weekend and I'll have no internet to update so here's a quick chapter to fulfill you!

 **DISCLAIMER** **ANYTHING RECOGNISABLE IS NOT MINE.**

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When Eleanor finally regained her composure, she pushed herself up from the floor into a sitting position, leaning her back against a nearby desk. Lily looked over and copied her actions. After being in the room for around fifteen minutes, Eleanor could finally think clearly again; all of the tension completely removed from her body. She rubbed her face with her hands desperately. _How can this have happened again?_ Sighing, she threw her head back, not even flinching when it hit the table top behind her with a bang.

"Are you ok?" Lily broke the silence. It was a difficult question. Completely obvious and obscure all at the same time. The straight fire answer would be a resounding 'no'. How could she be after almost losing control yet again? But in that room, she _was_ ok. Sure, she was angry, frustrated and worried as hell, but that was it – no mutated extras. She felt like a normal person. Plus, she hadn't hurt anyone. So, yeah, she was ok. Not knowing what to say, Eleanor just looked over at her friend and smiled softly. Looking at Lily's face for the first time, she could see every emotion written across her forehead as if they were actually there in big bold letters. WORRY. STRESS. SADNESS. PITY. And worst of all? FEAR. Eleanor dropped her eyes to the floor quickly, shame surging through her.

"Hey," Lily reached forward and touched her knee with her hand, "Don't do that. You don't have to feel ashamed," If Eleanor had any more room in her mind, she would have been amazed that Lily knew her that well after only 3 months. She took a deep breath and painted on a smile.

"I'm fine," She could see in Lily's eyes that she didn't believe her.

Lily didn't reply and the girls fell back into silence. Eleanor took to properly examining the room to distract herself from everything going on. Despite coming here many times before, she hadn't really thought about the décor. Cobwebs hung from the ceiling and dust covered almost every inch of the place. If she was going to be using it more regularly, she would have to do something about that. Maybe she could ask Lily for some advice on charms or some way to transfigure some desks into something more comfortable. In her head she pictured a sofa against the far wall with a table sitting in the centre of the room, facing the window. That was all she needed. After all, it was supposed to be a room to help her relax – she vaguely wondered if Dumbledore would let her paint it and almost laughed at the idea.

Her soft snort echoed around the quiet room, gaining Lily's attention. When Eleanor looked up, she saw Lily smiling at her but she immediately let her gaze drop back to the floor.

"I fancy Sirius," Eleanor whispered. Part of her didn't want to admit it out loud; almost as if she didn't say it then it wasn't real, but deep down she knew that would be a lie. She felt something for him. Plain and simple. Flashing back to her deliberation over her 'feelings' for Francis, Eleanor was bewildered how she could ever think she fancied him. It didn't even compare to how she felt now. Her mind ran through her friendship with Sirius and suddenly all of the flirtatious comments stood out to her like a sore thumb. While she was stumbling around trying to get to grips with her magic, Sirius had snuck up on her and pounced – not unlike a predator to its prey. His 'friendly' act was clearly just that – an act, put on in order to entice her. And now here she was, like so many other girls, stuck under his spell. Eleanor hated herself for it. She was just like those girls who followed Sirius around in the hopes that he would suddenly turn around and decide he'd found the love of his life. It was pathetic.

"I know," If Lily was surprised at all, she didn't let on. Her voice was quiet as she nodded encouragingly to Eleanor who sighed deeply and replied.

"I don't know how it happened. I started to think about it at the beginning of the week maybe? But recently, he's just been behaving so… callous. And I started to think that maybe I only liked his looks, as shallow as that is, but then I thought back to how he was before and I just… I don't know. I don't know what I've done or what's happened to make him suddenly become so distant but… And then seeing him tonight with Honey Taylor… I mean, did you see him? He was all over her. He looked me dead in the eye and I didn't recognise him at all, it's like he's a whole different person… I just can't believe him."

Lily scooted over and put her arm around Eleanor's shoulders as she spoke, "Look, I don't like Sirius Black, I never have, I think he's an arrogant arsehole. But saying that… you won't be able to tell, but Sirius has changed a lot this year. Last year he was just a pure bully. He would change moods like the weather and the slightest thing would set him off. But now, I don't know, don't get me wrong I'd still like to throttle him all of the time, but he just seems… he seems like he's started to realise that he's not the only person in the world. He even apologised to Connor and Sam, I've never known him apologise for anything ever! And I think a big part of that is to do with you," Eleanor scoffed but Lily continued, "I do! The way he is around you… it's like he's _lighter_ or something. Look, it's obviously your decision whether you choose to be friends with him again or not, and I'll back your play whatever, but I have to ask, did this… happen because of him?"

Eleanor winced. When it was put like that, it was difficult to see any reason why she would want to be friends with him.

"It's hard to explain." She started, "It's kind of like, everything builds up and up and up and just snowballs until it's like this huge boulder balancing on the peak of a mountain, and it only takes one thing to knock it over the edge and then there's no stopping it. I think tonight, I just wasn't focused enough and it just happened to be Sirius that pushed it over," She paused, "But, I _do_ think he kind of weakens my resolve or something. I haven't had to fight this much in years and then twice in two months, he's involved in something that results in me losing control? It's too much of a coincidence." Eleanor shook her head. "What do I do now?" The question was only partly rhetorical but Lily answered anyway.

"Only you can decide that El. But like I said, I'm here no matter what you choose," Lily reached over and squeezed Eleanor's hand. Eleanor smiled at the gesture – Lily could be so motherly sometimes.

They sat on the floor for the next half hour as Eleanor, once again, sorted through her thoughts. She was torn. She was furious with him and how he'd acted, but she knew better than anyone that people can act one way but be thinking in another and that part of her longed to swallow her anger and help her obviously struggling friend. However, her more rational side knew that she should really leave him well alone – besides, he was already ignoring her so her job was basically half done. Eleanor couldn't risk any more 'accidents' and if Sirius was, in any way shape or form, encouraging those 'accidents', she would just have to stay away from him. It was simple really. Or it was easy to think it, but Eleanor had a feeling it was going to be much more difficult to actually do.

When she and Lily eventually returned to the common room, the party was still in full swing. Despite keeping her head down and heading straight for the dorm, from what Eleanor saw, she was pleased she had turned down Lily's earlier offer of a drink – it definitely wasn't alcohol free. Lily tried to follow her up to the dorm, but she explained that she was exhausted and would probably just be going straight to sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Lily looked at her dubiously but stayed in the common room nonetheless, giving Eleanor strict instructions to call for her if she was needed.

Eleanor wasn't lying when she said she was exhausted - big power surges like tonight's always left her feeling heavy. Plus, seeing as though she had simply gone to the room instead of working through the explosion, she'd still had to deal with the rioting powers inside her when she stepped back into the corridor. Seeing as though her emotional and mental states were much better, she managed to stuff the cage full and lock the door in just a few moments. However, even though her limbs felt like lead and her head throbbed, Eleanor couldn't help tossing and turning for a good half hour before succumbing to sleep.

The next morning, Eleanor knew what to do. She needed to talk to the professor. In three years she hadn't lost control once and now it was close to becoming a regular occurrence? Eleanor could feel it deep inside her – something had changed. Something was different. And the only person who would have a hope in hell of knowing what it was, would be the professor. To her surprise, Eleanor wasn't scared as she stepped out of bed. It thoroughly pleased her to know that she wasn't rushing to the professor out of fear, but instead had a genuine question and needed advice.

The other girls were all still asleep as Eleanor crept out of the bathroom, showered and ready for the day. She shut the dorm room door quietly behind her and snuck down into the common room. Eleanor braced herself for a flood of emotions to hit her as she entered the room full of bad memories from the previous night, but was slightly stunned when she felt nothing. Her powers were both still hidden deep inside her mind – almost as if they were cowering from her. Feeling empowered, she took the opportunity to look the room over as she walked to the portrait entrance. The place was a complete mess. Bottles were strewn everywhere with crumbs and left over pieces of food crushed into the sofas. There was a large section of the floor where someone had obviously spilt a drink and not bothered to clean it up. There were even a few seventh years still down there, completely comatose. Rolling her eyes at the sight before her, Eleanor pushed open the door and left the room and continued to her original destination.

A small part of her mind reminded her that it was just after seven am on a Sunday morning and that Dumbledore might not be awake yet, but she chose to ignore that part and headed to his office in the hope that he was there. If not, she'd simply have to go for a walk or something until a little later. He was the only way she had to get in touch with the professor so she needed to see him.

As she stood in front of the door, Eleanor was a little disheartened when it didn't immediately open as it had previously but knocked anyway. A few seconds later, the old door groaned open. She instantly jumped up the steps and quickly found herself stood in front of Dumbledore who, as always, sat at his desk. _Didn't the man ever sleep?_

"Miss Douglas, what a surprise. What can I do for you?" He looked up and smiled at her. As if it was totally normal for a student to walk in at this time on a morning.

"I was wondering if I could talk to the professor? Professor Xavier, I mean," Eleanor corrected herself.

Dumbledore's forehead crinkled very slightly before smoothing out again – well as smooth as the old wizards' face could go, "Is something wrong?"

"No! No, I just need his advice on something,"

"And I suppose this isn't something that I can help you with?" Eleanor knew what he was getting at.

"Not really." At his silence she continued, "I just feel like there's a change of some kind inside me, with my powers I mean, so I just wanted to ask his opinion on it."

Dumbledore nodded, "I will contact him today and let you know when he gets back to me," Eleanor smiled and thanked him, but as she was turning for the door he spoke up again, "However, I trust that if you have any troubles before then, that you will come back here and let me know?" _Again with the questions that are really statements!_

"Of course, thank you professor," With that she was gone. Eleanor, for some reason, didn't enjoy being inside the head masters office. It sounded obvious that as a student she wouldn't particularly want to be there but seeing as though she had never been in trouble before, she didn't have any real reason to dislike the room. It was just odd.

Taking in the peace and quiet, Eleanor set off on a walk with no specific destination in mind but a few minutes later, she found herself in the great hall. The house elves had already started to set out the food, Eleanor suspected that some kind of charm was placed over it all so it wouldn't spoil before the crowds descended. She looked up to the top of the room where the teachers usually sat but the table was empty, just like the rest of tables. The hall looked even bigger without anyone in it. _Wait…_ Eleanor focused her eyes on a shape sat at the very top of the Gryffindor table alone; the hall _did_ have someone in it. As she walked up the aisle and neared the person, realisation started to set in. _Of every person in the castle… of course._

Sirius sat bent over a plate of food, still not noticing Eleanor's presence. His dark hair covered his face but from his body language alone, Eleanor could tell he was hurting. His shoulders were slumped forwards forcing his arms to hang limply as they rested on the table. In the time Eleanor had been watching him, he hadn't eaten a thing – he hadn't even moved – he just stared at the plate in front of him. Despite her anger at him, Eleanor felt her heart break a little as she took in his suffering form. Without a second thought, she stuffed her frustrations away for now and headed over to him – there was no way she could leave a friend when they looked like this, last night's decision to stay away from him be damned; at least for a little while.

Eleanor didn't say anything as she sat down next to him, facing him instead of the table. She saw him tense as he realised he wasn't alone. Sirius picked his shoulders up and threw his head back so his hair fell out of his face and Eleanor watched as he once again picked up and painted on his usual bravado. She saw his eyes widen when he saw it was her sat with him before he pulled his mask back on.

"Just can't stay away can y-?"

"Stop," Eleanor interrupted him, "I'm only here to make sure you're ok, which you're obviously _not_ by the way, and then I'm leaving."

"So leave then. You've already decided I'm not ok," Sirius' voice was bitter as he snapped at her, turning back to his plate and starting to pick at the food.

In that moment, Eleanor wished more than anything that she trusted herself enough to use her telepathy and see what was going on in his head. Pain was written all over his face but Sirius was strong – she could see that he wasn't going to crack, at least not to her. Instead, he went with the 'pushing people away' approach. Memories from when she was told about his family came flooding back and Eleanor felt a huge swell of sympathy for the boy. It was clear as day that he hadn't hardened overnight, no, this was something that he'd learnt over a _long_ time – his whole life she'd be willing to bet. In that moment, Eleanor didn't doubt for a second that the horrific rumours about his parents were true.

Before she spoke again, Eleanor quickly checked her powers – they were still hiding away, she was ok to talk to him for now.

"Am I right?"

Sirius snorted at her, "Don't you worry Douglas; I'm just peachy,"

"Don't lie to me Sirius."

The use of his name had his head snapping around to look at her, "Who says I'm lying?" His eyes bore into hers and she could tell that once again he was trying to intimidate her. Eleanor thought back to how she had once compared him to a predator, sneaking around and attacking unprovoked, but in that moment he was more like a wounded animal, lashing out to whoever was closest because of his pain. His eyes hardened but she wouldn't back down – it took a lot more than Sirius Black to frighten her. After a few seconds, he narrowed his eyes slightly and turned back to his plate.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Eleanor asked. It had been gnawing away at her that she _still_ didn't know what was wrong with him. She was about ready to burst but, as much as she wanted to know, she wasn't going to push him.

"About what?" He said, throwing a grape into his mouth.

"Whatever it is that's bothering you so much,"

At this, Sirius slammed his hands on the tabled and growled at her, "Why are you so sure that something is wrong? Haven't you thought that maybe I just want to be alone huh? No, you haven't otherwise you wouldn't be sitting her yabbering on in my ear while I'm trying to have some peace. Why don't you just go run along with Francy?"

Eleanor sighed shortly, her eyebrows scrunching together as she stared back at him. It was getting harder to keep her own anger at bay when he was still insisting on acting like a dick.

"If you actually wanted to be alone, you would've stormed off by now – we both know that. I don't know what the hell is wrong with you but fine, you _say_ you want to be alone, I'll go. But just know that if that stick gets any further up your arse you're going to need surgery." Eleanor stood up and walked out, not looking back at the boy as she left the great hall.

By the time Eleanor finally returned to the common room, it had been tidied and everything put back into its original position. She had taken her time coming back up, after her 'talk' with Sirius, she had gone for a walk around the grounds and ambled around the entirety twice before heading back into the castle. It was nice to have time alone in the great outdoors to clear her head. But Eleanor was still in two minds as she climbed the stairs to the fat lady portrait. She wanted to help Sirius – and not because she fancied him; but because no one should hurt as he seemed to be. But if she did that, she risked proving her theory that Sirius was somehow involved in her losing control correct – and that could be devastating. Not for the first time, Eleanor damned whatever had allowed her to be a telepath; growing up inside other peoples' minds had left her more empathetic than she particularly wanted. She was willing to bet that if she hadn't, she would be fine to just ignore Sirius until he got himself out of his funk – whether he was her friend or not – but she _had_ and she _wasn't_.

Lily was unnecessarily worried when Eleanor found her that morning. Apparently she had woken up and seen Eleanor was missing and subsequently decided to wake all of the other girls up in her anxious flurry. Needless to say, their dorm mates weren't very happy with either of them that day.

"I just thought after last night… and I just freaked out a little," Lily cringed when Eleanor confronted her about it. She couldn't really complain, Lily was only looking out for her.

After assuring her that she was fine, Eleanor filled her friend in on the morning's events, "I just went to Dumbledore and he's going to get in touch with the professor so I can just get some advice from him about, y'know, why this keeps happening. And _then_ , I bumped into Sirius," She watched as Lily winced, "Yeah, he was sat in the great hall alone, and when I went over to him he was about as friendly as a basilisk."

"So you spoke to him then?"

"Kind of. I asked if he was ok and he just did the usual 'yeah I'm fine' routine and then I left,"

"And how was… everything?" Lily looked at Eleanor pointedly.

"It was fine actually. It's like they're hiding from me or something," Eleanor replied, equally happy as she was confused.

"Well as long as you're good," Lily smiled at her.

The girls spent the day lounging around, finishing off the rest of their assignments. By some phenomenon, the rest of the day was free of all marauders, despite being in the common room for hours. Eleanor sat back comfortably on the sofa, her legs resting on the table in front of her, and watched as the fire burned. Fire always seemed to relax her for some reason. Just watching the flames as they danced upwards held her gaze. Fire burned away all that was there previously, making way for new beginnings. And new beginnings were something Eleanor was very familiar with.

It was at dinner when Dumbledore sent a message over to her that he needed to speak to her. Instead of sending Professor McGonagall like before, this time a piece of paper floated down in front of her and landed on her plate.

 _Miss Douglas,_

 _Please come to my office after dinner._

 _Professor Dumbledore._

Eleanor read the short note and looked straight up at the teachers table but all of them were busy in conversation. She smiled to herself, _it must be about the professor._ Lily looked at her quizzically but she just smiled. After that, Eleanor couldn't focus on her meal or the conversation around her, all she could think about was how slowly time was passing.

"Ah, Miss Douglas! Do come in," Professor Dumbledore exclaimed. Dinner had dragged but Eleanor was finally stood in front of the head master's office. She had briefly filled Lily in but there wasn't much she could say when surrounded by other people. Luckily, however, Lily seemed to have got the gist that Eleanor would tell her properly later. Entering the oval room, Eleanor headed over to stand in front of the desk as usual. Dumbledore smiled and took his seat. "I've spoken to Professor Xavier and he's asked me to tell you that he will get in touch with you tonight, 'through the usual means'. He's assured me that you will know what he meant?"

Eleanor grinned and nodded.

"Fantastic. Is there anything else you wish to talk about?" When Eleanor told him no, they said their goodbyes. The office door closing behind her, Eleanor set off for the common room with a skip in her step. Thinking about her powers and the changes she felt made her think of Sirius. She was still struggling to come up with some way of helping him without putting herself in a dangerous situation. The teenage side of her fought in her mind at the idea of helping someone who was treating her so awfully. _You won't be able to sleep knowing you left someone to suffer like that_ , she reminded herself.

Eleanor was still brainstorming when she reached the staircase up to the fat lady. _What about his friends?_ She thought, _that could work._ Sirius was ridiculously close to the other marauders – there was no way they hadn't noticed his change in behaviour – but their closeness meant that it might be a struggle to get them away from him so she could talk. _Maybe just one of them? Remus?_ Remus was by far her favourite marauder at the moment, and definitely the most mature, but he wasn't as close to Sirius as James. James, however, was way more annoying and difficult to have a serious conversation with. As she headed through the portrait, Eleanor found the decision made for her.

"James!" She whisper yelled across the room as she saw the mess of brown hair head to the boys' dorm stairs. He stopped short when he heard his name and looked around the room a little before he spotted her. He smiled and with a raised eyebrow headed over, his hands held up in a surrender stance.

"Look, whatever Evans says, I didn't do it,"

Eleanor laughed a little, "No, it's nothing like that. It's about Sirius," James' face tightened instantly.

"What about him?"

"What do you mean 'what about him'? You can't honestly say you haven't noticed how different he's been recently?" Eleanor inadvertently raised her voice, gaining looks from the few others in the room, who quickly turned back around when she stared back at them.

"Maybe it's his time of the month," He joked, pulling on a fake smile.

"Don't," Eleanor felt a weird sense of déjà vu creep up on her. Not for the first time, she saw why Sirius and James were best friends; in some ways they were the same person, constantly feeling the need to laugh everything off no matter how badly it affects them. "Don't pretend like this is a joke. Sirius is hurting and I know you see it."

James dropped his grin and sighed, "It's complicated."

"Look, I don't want to pry and force you to tell me what's up with him. Just… help him. Please."

James stared at her with a strange look on his face before his lips pulled back into a smile, "And how does your boyfriend feel about you showing this much care and attention to Sirius?"

"I don't have a boyfriend," At this James' eyebrows shot up.

"So what is Francis Elliot?"

"My friend,"

"That you're dating?" He pressed.

"Why are you so obsessed with Francis? No, we're not dating, not that it's any of your business," Eleanor snapped, suddenly feeling a lot more understanding of Lily.

"Because he's just dreamy…" James trailed off, gazing up at the ceiling with a wistful look in his eyes.

Eleanor rolled her eyes, "You're not funny,"

"I'm a little funny," He held up his finger and thumb, leaving a small space between them, a Sirius-like grin taking centre stage on his face.

She sighed, "Look, I shouldn't have to ask you to help your friend."

"You don't, and I'm offended that you'd think so. I think I'm actually the greatest friend there is, and I'm going to go prove it now." James stomped off with full dramatics up to the boys dorms. Eleanor was left staring at the arch way for the stair case that lead up there. The marauders were _weird_. Looking around the common room, and finding none of her friends, Eleanor decided to head up to the dorm. The professor should be 'calling' soon and it was the least awkward place to be when he did.

Shutting the door behind her, Eleanor searched the room and found Mary sat on her bed, books surrounding her.

"Hey," Eleanor smiled, heading over.

Mary glanced up and smiled back, "Hey, if you're looking for Lil, I think she's in the library with Snape," She crinkled her nose in disgust.

"No, I just thought I'd come up here. It feels like forever since we've hung out just the two of us,"

"I know, I don't suppose you'd want to hang out now and help me with this?" Mary gestured to the mess around her, a hopeful look in her eyes.

Eleanor laughed softly, "Sure."

Even if Eleanor hadn't known previously, it would have become clear very quickly how much Mary hated schoolwork. Not only did she complain about it for the next hour, but it also turned out that she had left almost all of the work due this week until then. This meant that the two girls were still 'working' – meaning Mary was still complaining and Eleanor was still coercing – when the others arrived, ready to turn in for the night.

"Ok, I give up! I'm not doing any more!" Mary threw her hands up in the air, knocking three of her books on the floor, when Alice climbed into the bed next to her, "I'm nearly done anyway, I'll just say I forgot." Eleanor laughed at her friend's blasé attitude. She wished that she could be as relaxed about… well anything.

" _Eleanor?"_ She gasped as the professor's voice rang in her head.

"Everything ok El?" Lily asked, sitting cross legged on her bed.

"What? Oh yeah, I'm fine. I think I'm going to turn in now though, night guys." Eleanor rushed her words out, ignoring the curious looks from her dorm mates and practically ran over to her bed, launching herself under the covers and watching the curtains around her close, _"Ok, hi professor!"_

She felt him laugh in her mind, _"How're you doing El?"_

" _Well, that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about…"_

" _Ok?"_ His voice was uneasy.

" _Right…"_ Eleanor took a deep breath, trying to think of a way to explain everything. In the end she settled for showing him. Even though he already knew some of it, Eleanor thought right back to the beginning – the first time she lost control. She focused her memory on her feelings and, inadvertently, Sirius. Briefing through her time with Francis – the professor did _not_ need to relive her awkward first kiss – Eleanor remembered her 'situation' with Sirius; how his behaviour suddenly changed seemingly overnight and the feelings that were brought up because of it. Even just thinking of his attitude had her blood pumping harder. She finished off with the night she _almost_ lost control. By the end of her memory tour, Eleanor could feel the professor's mind ticking over.

" _You've certainly had an eventful time recently,"_ Eleanor snorted before clasping her hand to her mouth. She had to be quiet. _"I'm so proud of you El. Not only for the way you've handled your powers, but for how well you are doing at school. From what Professor Dumbledore has told me, and what I've just seen, you are simply blooming."_ Eleanor felt her cheeks heat up. _"In answer to your question – yes I know you haven't asked but I know what it is anyway – but in answer to your question, the reason why you have had some difficulty with controlling your powers recently is, I believe, down to puberty._ " Eleanor's blush surged even harder, _"You see, in the average mutant, they develop their powers when they reach puberty, this is because of a change in their hormones that kick starts the gene. Obviously, you've already found your powers, so I'm not sure what this change will do for you. It might be that your control will be tested further, but I have no doubt in my mind that you can best this._

" _And in answer to your other question that you didn't ask but want too,"_ The professor continued, _"I believe your feelings towards this_ Sirius _are-"_

" _Woah! Woah! Woah! Let me stop you there!_ " Talking about powers with the professor? 100% ok. Talking about her crush-turned-arsehole? 100% _not_ ok.

Once again, the professor laughed in her mind. Only louder this time, _"Eleanor, it is nothing to be embarrassed about! Even I have had crushes in my time-"_

" _EW! EW! EW! EW!"_

The professor laughed harder, _"Ok, I'll stop,"_ He said when he sobered, _"But in all honesty, I believe that because of the hormonal changes already occurring in your body due to puberty, you are feeling things more intensely due to being a mutant. When you're a teenager, everything already feels like the most important thing in the world, but perhaps for you instead of your mutation appearing for the first time, the changes that would usually result in this, are instead increasing the potency behind your emotions? It's just a theory but it could be something worth looking into. Which is why it could be that you are right in assuming that Mr Black has something to do with your momentary lapse in control; because you already have feelings towards him, and those feelings are being magnified almost – and we already know that intense emotions make control more difficult for you… Does that make sense to you El?"_

Running the professor's words through her mind again, Eleanor could definitely see his point. She wasn't stupid, she knew puberty affected the hormones in her body, but she had never thought about how it would affect her mutation. Seeing as though she grew up with her powers already awakened, Eleanor hadn't given it much thought that others usually gained theirs when they hit puberty.

" _Yeah…"_ It felt good to talk to the professor. His knowledge and confidence in her made her feel better by tenfold. It also made her feel better to know that her control wasn't weakening, but instead it was being tested harder. At that moment, Eleanor felt assured that she could build her control up, as she had done all those years ago, and regain constant dominance over her mutation. _"Thank you so much professor."_

" _There's no need to thank me El. It's what I'm here for."_ Eleanor suddenly found herself longing to hug him. The three months she had spent away from her surrogate father came crashing to the forefront of her mind – knowing that it would be another seven and a half months before she could see him had her welling up. _"Don't cry El. Summer will be here soon and you'll be dying to get back to Hogwarts,"_ Eleanor laughed softly as a tear escaped and dripped down her cheek.

" _How are you anyway? And everyone else?"_ She wiped at her eyes with the back of her sleeves.

" _We're all doing fine. Raven is going slightly crazy without you though – or more crazy than normal anyway. Scott also reminded me to say hello, I think he is missing you quite a lot. But he is doing well, he has actually made friends with another boy that has just started here this past month, so don't you go worrying about him! Or about any of us for that matter! You just worry about yourself and getting the hang of the magical world, it seems quite different from ours."_

" _Yeah, everything is completely different here,"_ Eleanor looked around her blackened cubicle, a sense of nostalgia creeping in.

Her eye lids started to droop and before she could form a coherent thought about going to sleep, the professor had already replied, _"Yes, go to sleep. I'll call back in a few days?"_

Eleanor smiled and agreed before she felt the familiar loss in her mind. The professor was gone and she was left alone in her head.

The next morning that 'Monday' feeling hit Eleanor hard. All she wanted was to curl back up in her bed and throw her duvet over her head. It didn't help the longing when she headed to breakfast, only to find the castle bubbling with gossip surrounding none other than Sirius. It crossed her mind that this was Godric Gryffindor's way of telling her to buck up and stop hiding from him before she could even start.

Despite managing to hear but not listen to the whispers around her as she, Lily and Dorcas headed to the great hall, Eleanor knew she had no chance of ignoring the rumours when she sat down. She quickly calculated in her mind the fastest possible time in which she could eat and be gone – still, it didn't look good. Especially with Dorcas. Where Lily was sending unnecessarily apologetic glances when she thought Eleanor couldn't see, Dorcas thrived on all things gossip. Particularly, but not limited to, gossip including "fit boys" as she described Sirius. The blonde girl practically bounced through the castle until they finally reached the Gryffindor table.

Sitting down with an 'oomph', Eleanor immediately started filling her plate with much more food than she would eat. She wasn't a particularly big eater on mornings. But it gave her something to focus on other than the constant drone of conversation around her. When her plate could fit no more, she began lining her cutlery up perfectly with the wooden lines on the table, taking great pleasure when everything was set accordingly – until she realised that she'd then have to find something else to focus all of her energy on. _This avoiding… him… business is harder than I thought_. Sat beside her, Lily started to make conversation about her slippers of all things. _I must look really desperate._ Eleanor wasn't oblivious to her best friend's intentions but humoured her nonetheless; and was surprisingly pleased to find that it worked… for a while.

Eleanor's attention was held for approximately 3 minutes and 26 seconds, not that she was counting, until that familiar bang announced the presence of the marauders. Excited voices instantly died down to childish whispers as it seemed everyone in the other three houses turned to face the Gryffindors. Rolling her eyes at the simplicity of some students, Eleanor turned her back on the four boys who, annoyingly, had sat just a few seats down. Lily smiled softly at her before looking past her to glare at James who had just called her name; presumably to show her something both stupid and immature.

Incredibly, she made it a further 5 minutes and 37 seconds before Dorcas ran back over to her, after talking with some girls from the Hufflepuff table, her face bursting with excitement. In a second, Eleanor knew she was about to be told the exact thing she had been avoiding all morning. Before she could come up with an excuse to shut her up, Dorcas blurted out,

"Sirius slept with Marlene McKinnon!"

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 **oooooooo, first kind of cliffhanger so far!**

 **any reviews are appreciated!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Just a short one sorry! Also, my laptop has been broken for a while which is why I haven't updated for a few days.**

 **However, I'm just kind of wondering if anyone is actually enjoying this story? If not I'm thinking of just deleting it and writing it in private, let me know!**

 **DISCLAIMER - Anything recognisable is not mine.**

* * *

Eleanor felt the blood drain from her face as the words left Dorcas' lips. Dorcas, of course, didn't notice and continued her enthusiastically animated story about how Janice Griffiths had heard it from Rosita Trotter who'd heard it from Dee Hargreaves who'd heard Marlene talking about it with her friends in the Ravenclaw common room. But Eleanor couldn't hear her. She felt as though someone had put their hand through her chest, grabbed hold of her heart and squeezed. A rush of air shot out of her lungs as her brain repeated Dorcas' words over and over. She sat, frozen in the busy hall as her other dorm mates joined them, eagerly jumping in the conversation with Dorcas; all of them except Lily completely oblivious to Eleanor's plight.

Eleanor felt a hand reach out to hers and immediately knew it was Lily despite her eyes being focused on the back wall behind the teachers table, looking at nothing in particular, but they wouldn't move from that spot. The hand squeezed gently and came with a voice.

"Hey," Lily spoke softly, "El, are you ok?"

The worry in the voice snapped Eleanor's eyes back into the real world. She stared at the red head, "They're deep down, I've got them, don't worry," It was a partial truth. Her powers were actually wrestling inside her mind for the chance to come out, but Eleanor had them buried away so far that even though they were rising, it would be a while before they over flowed and exploded.

"I wasn't talking about that…" Looking into Lily's eyes, Eleanor saw the worry she'd heard earlier. But there was also something else, Lily's green iris's sparkled with anger. Slowly coming out of her shocked reverie, Eleanor began to notice Lily's anger much more clearly. Her lips kept twitching into a scowl and her fists were continually clenching together as her eyes repeatedly looked over to where _he_ was sat. Fury rolled off her like fire. Despite her feelings, Eleanor found herself smiling at her friend's protective instincts.

Eleanor took a deep breath. _Poker face._

She plastered a bright look in her eyes and a soft grin on her lips, "I'm fine!" She waved her hand in what she hoped was an 'unaffected' gesture. Lily didn't look too convinced, "Honest, I spoke to the professor last night and he's helped me with everything, so I'm ok, promise," Eleanor looked Lily right in the eye, willing her into just accepting it – but, of course, she wouldn't be Lily if she did.

"I can go kick his arse for you if you want?" She started to stand and Eleanor managed to pull up a laugh and grab her arm, sitting her back down.

"No!" She snorted, "No arse kicking needed here. Well, not right now anyway," Eleanor winked. It seemed to be the wink that did it. Lily smiled and nodded softly, sufficiently happy with herself, and turned back to her food. Eleanor's eyes dropped to her own plate, still overfilled with more food than she could eat, her mind tried to go back to what she'd just been told but she put a firm stop to that before she could even form a conscious thought. Instead, she brought her focus back to breakfast, concentrating harder than necessary on the meal before her.

History of Magic was particularly boring that day. So much so that Eleanor and Lily started passing notes. Just random doodles with the occasional game of hangman. But they weren't the only bored students in the classroom. Just as Professor Binns floated passed her table in his regular check that the students were actually doing work, Eleanor felt something hit her back. She turned to see a scrunched up piece of paper lying on the floor behind her. She knew instinctively that it was from one of the marauders who sat two rows behind her – the only other person behind her was Florence Danril and the sweet Hufflepuff definitely wouldn't throw something at her. Half of her wanted to leave it on the floor, scoffing at the immaturity of having to send notes rather than face her but then she reminded herself of her decision the previous night.

 _After her talk with the professor, Eleanor had a much more positive outlook towards her situation. Her fear, of her simply losing control, had been defused by the professor's assurance that it was puberty to blame._ She _wasn't failing, it was her body that was hindering her. This knowledge left her feeling empowered – ready to take on the world. For about ten minutes at least. But still, after then she put some serious, no pun intended, thought into what to do about Sirius. Blatantly ignoring him was almost immediately thrown out of the picture; it wasn't that she didn't think herself capable of ignoring him, no, it was that she didn't think Sirius Black capable of being ignored. Eleanor knew from previous experience how persistently aggravating he could be when he wanted attention and didn't get it. But she couldn't just keep blowing up at him and let him keep affecting her so. Not just because of her powers, but because it wasn't healthy and frankly a little strange how intensely even the smallest grin made her feel._

 _Ten minutes, and no conclusion, later, Eleanor's mind flashed back to what her mother would always say, "Be kind. And if you can't be kind, be civil."_

And so she would.

She could be civil to him – she had done as much as she could to help him, but if he still insisted on being difficult, all she could think to do was be civil. It would be easy.

 _That last part might've been wishful thinking,_ she winced as she reached down to pick up the ball of paper. Without even reading it, she got up and headed straight to the bin, not looking at them and instead sending only a single sentence in their direction.

"No passing notes in class," She chided, just like the hypocrite she was.

By the time the lesson ended and third period came around, Eleanor was seriously considering asking Dumbledore if she could drop Muggle Studies. Civility towards _him_ was difficult enough when she had her friends to fall back on, but dealing with _him_ on her own, in a confined space with other people around when he was in this mood was pushing it.

As she sat in her seat patiently, she almost gave in to the childish instinct to move to the other side of the room when he sat down next to her. Instead, she gritted her teeth and started to organise her desk again. Her quill and ink were sat together, just in front of her right hand – ready to be used. Her parchment was straightened with two paper weights placed on opposite corners. Her books piled just to the left of the parchment. She sat with a stiff back, her hands folded on her desk, ready to learn. Everything was perfect. _And then he started talking._

"Hey Douglas," Just the two words were enough to light a fire inside of her. She longed to explode at him. Scream at him. Slap him. Something, _anything_ that would show him how much of an idiot he was if he thought he would be able to just come back into her life with a simple, "hey". But instead, she turned her head and twitched her lips upwards slightly, taking her anger out on him through her eyes. Not that it made much of a difference seeing as though she didn't look _at_ him. No, that would be a step too far… for now. "Look, I just want to apologise for my behaviour recently," Eleanor almost scoffed. He was so close to sounding sincere it was pitiful, "I didn't mean to take my anger out on you. I was just being a dick."

The angel and the devil on her shoulders argued profusely in her mind. One side was furious at him, the other skipped slightly at his words. Slight issue being that Eleanor couldn't decide which was the angel and which was the devil.

"It's fine," _LIE._ "I mean, it's not, but it's just… whatever," _LIE._ "I don't really care." _BIG FAT LIE._ Eleanor didn't even look away from the front of the room as she spoke to him. Partly to spite him and partly because she _still_ couldn't look at him.

"Oh," He sounded surprised, "Oh, ok then." Eleanor felt his eyes leave her for a second as he glanced away before the tingling sensation returned, "Are we ok then?" She could tell he was trying to project his usual arrogant attitude, as if he felt completely impartial about her reply, but his voice betrayed him when it wavered just a little at the end. He, apparently, thought a cough would cover it up.

Still with her eyes glued to Professor Mailer, Eleanor nodded, "We are A-OK." Even though she knew neither of them believed it.

It continued like that for the rest of the lesson. Eleanor was civil. But only just. In fact, she was probably pushing the boundaries of the meaning of the word. But she couldn't help it! The iciness just slipped through every so often. She could hear it as soon as it was said and she knew _he_ did as well as every time he would falter ever so slightly. One word answers became her specialty that lesson.

As the day passed, Eleanor continued to be civil. She began to think that she should just print out a label for herself "Eleanor Douglas: civil person." She had never muttered the word to herself as much in her life. Every time she came into a room with _him_ , she found herself having to say the words out loud in reminder not to just punch him straight in the face.

Eleanor hated that it would seem as though he had, for lack of a better term, gotten away with treating her like rubbish; just dropping her and picking her back up when he felt like it. But in order to maintain a decent level of control, she had to ignore the subject. She had to be mature. She had to move on. She had to rise above him and his idiotic tendencies.

Almost a week later, and Eleanor was still struggling with civility. It seemed as though fate had heard about her decision to ignore Sirius and once again thought it would be fun to mess with her. In a brilliantly unexpected turn of events, he had worked himself out of whatever funk he was in before and was back to overly friendly, flirty Sirius. The timing was _just perfect_. The only problem was that now that he didn't look pained, Eleanor found her anger at him and ran with it. It wasn't helping matters. Why couldn't he just continue to ignore her? It would for sure make Eleanor's life a whole lot easier. Ignoring someone who is already trying to avoid you was the quite simply a job well done. Ignoring someone who was constantly in your face and trying to talk to you? Not quite as straight forward. Though Eleanor could see that Sirius acknowledged her frosty mood towards him, he'd apparently - and typically - decided to disregard it, meaning that by the time the weekend arrived, Eleanor was at the end of her tether.

"I _cannot wait_ to just relax when we get back," Eleanor sighed as she and Lily headed over to the carriages. They were on their way back from Hogsmeade after spending more time than they'd like to admit in Honeydukes. Alice was on her bi-weekly date with Frank, Mary was stuck in detention with Professor McGonagall after not finishing her assignments and Elsie and Dorcas were doing their own thing. The day had been refreshingly calm. Eleanor hadn't seen nor heard any of the marauders at all which was both brilliant and slightly worrying – like when a toddler is quiet and you just _know_ they're doing something they shouldn't be.

"Oh, I was thinking we could head to the library or something to get some work done?" Lily muttered.

Eleanor looked at her incredulously, "Work? Really?"

"Well… yeah…" Lily stammered and Eleanor immediately was suspicious. Lily was talented at many things, but improvisation was _not_ one of them.

"What are you not telling me?" Anxiety started to creep in as she watched her friend play with her hands nervously.

Eventually Lily sighed as they climbed into the carriage which, thankfully, was empty except for them, "It's Sirius' birthday tomorrow so the marauders will be having a party in the common room tonight. They do it every year. I'm actually really surprised you haven't heard about it." Of course she hadn't heard about it, she had purposely avoided anything Sirius related for the entire week.

Sitting opposite, Eleanor winced internally as her friend spoke. The Sirius situation was still as difficult, baffling and all around annoying as ever – the last thing she wanted to do was attend a party meant to celebrate him. _Be civil_. Her inner voice said. But being civil would probably mean wishing him a happy birthday which in turn would involve talking to him. _Yeah, that's not happening_. She argued with herself.

"It's fine. I think I'll just go to the room for a while maybe," Eleanor put her fake smile on and grinned, "In fact, could you come with me? I was thinking of transfiguring some furniture to make it a bit more comfortable but I don't think I can do it yet…"

Successfully changing the subject, Eleanor avoided all further talk of Sirius Black for the rest of the evening. After the two girls arrived at the room, Lily got straight to work showing Eleanor some charms to clean up and transfiguring a few chairs into two sofas. It was starting to look like Eleanor had imagined. Almost two hours later, the room was transformed. All remnants of dust and dirt were gone and in their place was a bright, homely space. A few desks still remained but Eleanor cleaned them with the charm Lily had shown her and they were piled neatly against the far wall. If it wasn't for the huge, thick clouds that covered the sky and promised the inevitability of snow, Eleanor was sure the dazzling beams of sunlight would finish the room off perfectly.

Try as she might though, no matter how much she redecorated or gossiped with Lily, Eleanor couldn't keep her mind from wandering. Wandering to the Gryffindor common room where by now she knew the party would be in full swing. She also knew that she had to head back there if she didn't want to be caught out after curfew – something Lily would never let happen.

The two girls walked up the staircase to the fat lady portrait in a conversation that both parties knew was only to keep Eleanor distracted. Again, Lily was forced to think quickly for something to say and ended up talking about how leaves change colour throughout the year. The random subject almost made Eleanor laugh but when Lily whispered the password and the portrait opened, her mouth snapped shut. _Just go straight to the dorm. Don't talk to anyone. Don't even look at anyone._ Her inner mantra repeated.

The common room was filled with what looked like every Gryffindor above first year. Bodies crashed against each other as people messily stumbled around, trying to find a path to the other side of the room. Lily groaned and grabbed hold of Eleanor's hand, dragging her into the crowd. They had barely taken five steps when James' 'Lily radar' went off. Jumping up to stand on the small empty space on the sofa, he opened his arms out wide and yelled.

"EVANS!" Almost the entire room turned to look in their direction but Lily just flicked him a certain hand gesture and continued on her fight to get to the dorm. As the crowd thickened, Lily's grip started to slacken on Eleanor's hand; people pushed and danced in between them until the two girls were accidentally separated.

"El?!" Eleanor heard Lily's voice.

"It's ok, just head to the dorm, I'll see you up there!" It was hard to shout over the music, especially with the people around her screaming in joy so loudly. Lily either didn't reply or Eleanor just didn't hear her response.

Eleanor persistently pushed her way through the seemingly unrelenting crowd of people. She was so close to the archway now. Her eyes firmly focused on the few stairs she could see from where she was. Just a few more steps and then she'd be home free. A few more steps and she'd be safely tucked away.

"ALRIGHT IDIOTS CLEAR A HOLE!" A loud voice rang and the sea of people before her immediately parted… revealing Sirius. He was staring directly at her. _Shit!_ Eleanor couldn't help but take in his appearance as he headed over to her. His dark hair was in its usual waves which bounced softly with every step he took. He was dressed in simple muggle clothing, jeans and a t-shirt but he had a skill that made it look like it'd just come from a runway. "Hey, need a hand?" He whispered in her ear when he reached her. _ABORT! ABORT!_ Eleanor's mind went into a frenzy when she felt his breath against the back of her neck. The devil and the angel inside her fought mercilessly. Sirius grabbed her hand and led her over the other side of the room, right next to the archway for the girl's dorm. By the time she reached it, Eleanor's brain caught up with what was happening and she snatched her hand away; pretending not to notice the way her hand was still buzzing like she'd been shocked by electricity.

"I didn't need your help." She snapped at him, momentarily forgetting that she was supposed to be either ignoring or being to civil to him.

Sirius just raised his eyebrows, "Really? Cause it sure looked like it," When Eleanor simply scowled and turned to head up the stairs, he continued, "Y'know, it's my birthday…"

She sighed but didn't move from the first stair, "I'm aware."

"And y'know there's a party going on right now, right?"

Eleanor turned back around and glared at him, "If you have a point, you best get to it."

Sirius smirked, " _My point_ is that you're heading up to your dorm and ignoring _my_ birthday party,"

"Well observed."

"Why's that?" He purposely started again as she once more tried to head up the stairs. Her teeth ground together. _It's because I can't really be around you right now… Yeah, you're making my hormones crazy which is sending my mutation crackers. Oh and also I'm fuming at you. Just the usual._ Eleanor growled at her inner monologue.

Instead of answering him, she looked up and stared in his grey eyes for the first time in a week. She expected a flirtatious, sarcastic look to stare back at her, but was slightly flustered when all she found was genuine curiosity. Eleanor faltered when Sirius twitched his eyebrows together, his eyes never leaving hers. This was the reason she had refrained from looking directly at him since she'd decided to distance herself – because one look in his eyes and she found herself wanting to throw her previous judgements to the wind and throw _herself_ on him. Eleanor blinked as the thought ran through her head. She looked back up to see Sirius still staring at her intently.

"Go enjoy your party." The coolness was starting to fade from her tone – replaced by a slightly exasperated one. She was frustrated. Frustrated at Sirius, frustrated at herself and frustrated to whatever enabled her to have her powers. Not for the first time in her life, Eleanor wished she could be someone else; someone _normal_. If she was, she would only have to worry about the fact that the boy she fancied was a prick; and _not_ the fact that said prick was basically becoming the key to her undoing, which, if it happened, could potentially hurt or even kill someone.

"Why?"

"Because it's your birthday…"

"No, why are you avoiding me?" Sirius' voice was firm. "You said we were ok after I was a dick but you've been avoiding me ever since! I said I'm sorry!" His tone suddenly flooded Eleanor with guilt as his voice lowered, "I thought we were friends…"

For the first time, Eleanor looked at Sirius and saw vulnerability. His bravado was down and he was showing her his true self – or at least, a small part of it. The grey eyes before her flashed quickly before taking back the bleak expression. And in that moment, Eleanor longed to tell him. Tell him everything. Tell him why she was doing what she was doing. Tell him how angry and hurt she was at him. Tell him her feelings towards him. Looking through her 'mature beyond her years' glasses that her telepathy had forced upon her, she could honestly say that she understood Sirius' reaction throughout the past week. As she'd previously thought, growing up in a household such as his, it was completely plausible that he had learned to put up walls, protecting himself from the world when something happened that upset him. But what she couldn't for the life of her understand was _what_ drove him to react like that. If he'd just told her what upset him, she would've fixed it in a heartbeat, no questions asked. But he didn't. And because of that he had shoved a wedge between the pair. A wedge that Eleanor was fighting hard to keep in place, no matter what she really wanted. It didn't matter that she was desperate to talk to him, to sort it out, to just be around him. It didn't matter that Sirius was apologetic. It didn't matter that she felt her chest tighten at the hurt look on his face. It only mattered that she didn't lose control again, and because of that, it only mattered that she stayed away from him.

Taking a deep breath, Eleanor's lips twitched downwards.

"We _were_." Her voice sharp with, honestly, faux anger. Quickly turning away from him – she couldn't face him right now – Eleanor sprinted up the stairs.


	12. Chapter 12

Sorry it's taken so long to get an update out! Real life and a bit of writers block has been bugging me but I do have up to chapter 15 finished and edited so that's one good thing.

Enjoy!

 **DISCLAIMER** **Anything recognisable is not mine!**

* * *

The month of December was one of Eleanor's favourite times of year as a child. Her parents were big on making sure the Christmas holiday was thoroughly celebrated. Every year, they would have a count down from the beginning of the month and on each day, they'd do something together to commemorate the feeling of family. They were only encouraged further when Eleanor's little sister, Elizabeth, was born and they had two daughters to love and cherish. Janet and Terry Douglas were incredibly loving people and worshiped their girls all day every day, but that month at the end of the year was different… special. Their family home would be decorated on the first of December and it would be decorated from top to bottom which generally took hours considering Janet wouldn't allow anyone to do anything independently; everyone had to take part in every piece of the festivity. It didn't help that Eleanor was too young to be of any help rather than a nuisance and by the time she reached an age where she could, Elizabeth was born and the circle continued.

However, since her family died, Eleanor struggled to get into the Christmas spirit quite as easily. Instead of being her favourite and most looked forward to parts of the year, it served as a time that only reminded Eleanor of what she previously had and was taken from her. The professor tried as hard as he could, and as much as his attempts usually worked, when it came to Christmas, they became futile. It was something Eleanor was just starting to become accustomed too – Christmas was no longer something she enjoyed.

Hogwarts at Christmas was like a larger, castle version of her old home. Decorations hung at every post, excitement was buzzing around and the tree… well, Hagrid had managed to find the biggest fir tree Eleanor had ever seen in her life. It was so big that the half giant even struggled to pull it into the great hall. Professor Flitwick had expertly placed baubles on the monument and was diligent in his efforts to keep students at a reasonable distance, lest they, Merlin forbid, knock something over.

The majority of said students were heading home for the holidays but Eleanor was staying back at the castle. Two weeks seemed a long time until you counted in the time it would take her to fly half way across the world and _then_ overcome jetlag before flying back, no, it was easier if she just stayed where she was. Lily, being the incredible friend that she was, had offered to stay behind with her and when Eleanor told her it was fine, that she was a big girl and could deal with being alone for Christmas, Lily made herself clear that it was _not_ , in fact, an offer.

" _El, what're you doing for Christmas?" Lily asked as she slouched down on the sofa. Despite it being almost the second week of December, Eleanor hadn't thought much about the affair. She never did any more. While her friends had been gradually becoming more and more animated about the upcoming break, Eleanor remained focused on her studies._

" _What d'you mean?" Eleanor glanced over at her friend._

" _Well, I mean are you staying here or going home?" If she was honest, Eleanor hadn't really thought about going home at all, in her mind it was a given that she would just stay at school._

" _Oh, I think I'm just going to stay here," She muttered, pretending to put thought into her answer._

" _Cool, I'll stay too then,"_

" _You don't have to stay just for me Lil, I'm not a newbie anymore, I can handle being here by myself," Eleanor snorted. It was sweet of Lily to offer but she knew she wouldn't be in a particularly cheerful mood over the next few weeks so didn't want to put that on the redhead._

" _It's cute that you think that was an option," Lily smirked as she got up and headed over to the sign-up sheet, writing both her and Eleanor's names down._

Lounging on her bed, Eleanor watched as four of her dorm mates packed. It didn't sound like the most interesting sight, but being girls, the six of them had gotten into the habit of sharing clothes, meaning that no one could find all of their belongings, add in the factor of the train leaving that afternoon and it became quite the show watching as the girls ran around like their heads had been cut off. Dorcas was by far the worst. She was the epitome of a 'girly girl' and could not fathom leaving any of her clothes behind, even if it was only for two and a half weeks. Her high pitched screeching could be heard from the common room and she flashed around in a flurry.

"HAS ANYONE SEEN MY RED TOP?! GUYS THIS IS SERIOUS! LISTEN TO ME! STOP LAUGHING AT ME YOU TWO!" Dorcas turned on Eleanor and Lily who were comfortably relaxing in the knowledge that they didn't have to pack. "WHAT ABOUT MY GREEN SHIRT? ALICE, YOU KNOW THE ONE WITH THE CUTE BUTTONS? I _KNOW_ I LET SOMEONE BORROW IT LAST WEEK!"

This continued for a good hour before Dorcas found all of her missing items of clothing. As bad as she felt for laughing at her friend's expense, Eleanor was also grateful for the inadvertent comedy show. The past few weeks had been trying. It was coming up a month since she decided to stay away from Sirius and it was still as, if not more, difficult. While her anger at him over his mood swing was being to fade slightly, ever since _that_ day when it came out that he'd slept with Marlene McKinnon, he'd began to form a bit of a reputation and - whether true or not, Eleanor didn't know, courtesy of her avoiding him - each time a new rumour appeared about him and another girl, she felt a fire spark inside of her. She was constantly reminding herself that she had no reason to be angry at him, or even the situation – she didn't _own_ him, and her position was entirely her own fault – but still, the irrational jealousy of a 14 year old girl was not something easily swayed. Her affections towards the boy had only deepened since he was declared forbidden fruit, _typical_ , but each time she felt her will power fade, the memory of losing control was a sharp reminder of why she was, basically, punishing herself. The professor was, for the first time, unhelpful in their talks. In his opinion, Eleanor shouldn't necessarily be staying away from Sirius and that, while being friends with him could be challenging, there was also a chance that it could be completely fine. He was very firm in his belief that Eleanor should not miss out on any part of growing up due to her abilities – first crushes included - and as he repeatedly reminded her, a mutant developing their powers at such a young age as she was relatively unheard of, and therefore they had very little to go on about how puberty would affect her; meaning that the theory of Eleanor's feelings towards Sirius diminishing her control was exactly that – a theory.

After saying their goodbyes, the other girls headed down to Hogsmeade to catch the train back to London. When Lily had last checked the list of students celebrating Christmas at Hogwarts, she told Eleanor they were the only two Gryffindor students staying behind this year, and the other houses had around the same amount. Ravenclaw even had every single student going home. Apparently it was Lily's first Christmas staying at Hogwarts too so neither had any idea what to expect.

"…I think it'll just be a small dinner with the teachers really- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Lily's voice echoed back up the stair case she had just come down. The two girls had figured that seeing as though the common room would be abandoned, they would go hang out down there. Eleanor hurried after her friend to see the reason for Lily's quick turnaround with a bad feeling in her gut. Only one person, or rather two people, but one more than the other, could acquire such a reaction from the usually sweet red head. Her instinct was proved right when she entered the common room to find James Potter laying across the main sofa, Peter sitting on the chair right next to him. Remus was sat reading in an arm chair under the window and Eleanor stopped looking after that. No reason to continue searching the room- and then she found him. _It's purely so I know where to stay away from_. She told herself. He was lying on the sofa that faced away from where she was stood so all she could see was his hair from where he rested his head on the arm. And she was not _at all_ bothered by the fact that she couldn't see his face. Nope, if anything he did her a favour by turn away from her.

"You always make me feel so loved Evans," James held his hand to his chest, flicking his legs down from the sofa to make room. _As if Lily's going to sit next to you_ , Eleanor snorted internally. At Lily's glare he continued, "If you must know, we decided to stick around here for Christmas this year."

"That's funny because I didn't see your names on the sign-up sheet." Lily put her hands on her hips.

"You looking out for me Evans?" James winked and Eleanor winced, _not the best move_ , she thought as Lily growled – he just laughed, "We went to McGonagall this morning and, seeing as though she's another witch that can't imagine Christmas without me, she let us all stay."

"Mate, we all know the reason Minnie said we could stay was because she fancies me," Sirius chirped up and at just the sound of his voice, Eleanor felt her breath leave her. He sounded like he'd just woken up, his voice all raspy and low; for some reason - and that was _not_ the reason she reminded herself - Eleanor decided that was the perfect time to leave and head somewhere else. Preferably far away. _I should've gone to America_. While slightly bittersweet, if she was looking forward to the Christmas break at all it was for only one reason, she would be able to relax knowing that Sirius was miles and miles away. _Not anymore!_ She started towards the common room door, silently gesturing to Lily to follow her, but Lily was too far in, what Eleanor liked to call, 'Potter mode' to notice. 'Potter mode' was something that occurred generally anytime James tried to speak to Lily. It often resulted in Eleanor having to step in and restrain her friend, of course she did 'accidentally' let a hex slip through every now and then; she wasn't an _awful_ friend.

"Oh come on! You're 15 Black! And even if you weren't, I'm sure Professor McGonagall has better taste than the likes of you," Lily gestured to the boys in front of her.

"Hey!" James said, offended. "I'll have you know that any witch would be lucky to have me!"

"Sure they would mate! That's why you've had how many girlfriends? Oh that's right – none!" Sirius laughed.

James joined him, completely unabashed, "Saving myself for someone special," He winked pointedly at Lily who visibly shivered.

"You'll be waiting your entire life for that, Potter."

Eleanor sighed, well versed in the signs of a brewing argument between Lily and James by now. They weren't going to be leaving any time soon.

"You ok?" A voice said from behind her and she turned to see Remus stood with a smile on his face. He looked terrible. His skin was deathly pale and he looked about ready to collapse where he stood. Eleanor noticed over the months how his health seemed to constantly fluctuate.

"I'm fine thanks, you?"

"I'm great,"

Eleanor raised her eyebrows, "Oh yeah, you sure look it," She said dryly.

"I'm just feeling a bit under the weather, I'm sure I'll feel better in a few days," He smiled back at her.

"You should really go to Madam Pomfrey Remus, even it's just to lay down," Remus smiled a little brighter at her concerned words.

"I might go a little later," He smirked, "Is it going to be me or you this time?" He gestured to Lily and James, who's 'discussion' was becoming more and more heated. Eleanor and Remus had begun to almost take turns in who broke up the fights.

"I think it's your go, actually," Eleanor grinned when he groaned playfully.

"Do I have too?"

"No, actually I'd prefer if you didn't," Sirius broke in, casually side stepping around the feuding couple, "It's hilarious when she hexes him," He laughed loudly. Eleanor tensed her jaw when he came and stood next to her, his arm almost touching hers.

"Grow up, Black." She put as much iciness as she could muster into her voice but as ever, he ignored it.

"Where's the fun in that?" He chortled, lazily throwing his arm over her shoulders. Instantly, two things happened. First, Eleanor felt her entire body begin to buzz, like a fire was rolling down her skin from her shoulders outwards. Second, she felt every muscle in her body tighten. Since deciding to stay away from him, Sirius had become a constant thorn in her side; always there, always laughing, and _always_ trying to get close to her, just because he knew it would piss her off. She had successfully stayed away from his touch for weeks but it had only caused the feeling she had when his skin was against hers to intensify.

Snapping herself back to reality, Eleanor, _not_ reluctantly whatsoever, pushed his arm off her shoulders and scowled at him. "The fun? The fun is that your friend doesn't get hurt!"

"What, James get hurt by Evans? Nah, he likes a little fire," He winked and Eleanor felt her cheeks heat a little but managed to hide it well. Fortunately, years of hearing other people's thoughts and having to not react gave her an excellent amount of control over her facial expressions.

Eleanor just scoffed and turned to Remus, "Fine, I'll do it." She had only taken two steps before a warm hand wrapped around her elbow.

Spinning around, she saw an unenthusiastic looking Remus, "No, I'll do it, don't worry." He rushed out and shot over to where her best friend was still spitting insults in the messy haired boy's direction before she could argue. Watching as Remus entered the scene before her, Eleanor almost forgot where she was stood, or rather, who she was stood next too. That was, until he sighed happily. _I can_ hear _his stupid smirk in his stupid sigh._

"This is going to be _fun_ ," Sirius folded his arms over his chest with the usual shit eating grin firmly in place on his face. Eleanor just grunted at him. _Not the most ladylike of moves El._

The rest of the afternoon was spent, thankfully, away from their fellow Gryffindors. After the first Lily/James argument of Christmas break had been defused, Eleanor had wasted no time in grabbing her friend and 'gently' guiding her towards the portrait. They could both use some time away from marauders.

After a boring end to the day walking aimlessly around the castle. The best friends were getting ready for bed when the awkward subject of presents came up. Along with her Christmas cheer, Eleanor's excitement over gift exchanging had disappeared over the past few years. Common decency dictated that she at least buy a little something for Lily – just a few extra candies from Honeydukes - to avoid any uncomfortable situations in case the other witch had bought her something, but she bought nothing for anyone else. Everyone back in America knew where she stood on the whole Christmas front, but they all knew about her family; here, telling people that she hated Christmas would have to include telling them _why_ she disliked the season. It was easier just to smile and play along.

"I heard that you wake up and they're just all piled at the bottom of your bed! Like, all of the ones from family too! It'll be so exciting," Lily beamed as she pulled back her covers, climbing in to the bed kept warm by a simple heating charm.

The thought filled Eleanor with dread. She knew that the professor would accept with her request for no presents, as he always had, and so would all of her other friends from Xavier's. But it meant that awkward questions would be raised when the girls awoke in two days' time and Lily saw that Eleanor had nothing awaiting her. Lily had been fairly understanding of Eleanor's slightly mysterious ways up to now, but not even an acknowledgement on Christmas was certain to make her a little suspicious.

That night, Eleanor tossed and turned. Dreams of her family flashed through her mind.

Christmas Eve was surprisingly calm. Lily had suggested going to visit Hagrid in his hut on the grounds, which Eleanor was all for it until she realised that it meant going outside into the snow. Cold wasn't on her list of top ten favourite things. In fact it probably wouldn't make it into the top 500. Warmth was good. Heat was good. Nobody in their right mind liked the cold. And snow was the worst kind of cold; not only was it freezing, but it was wet and soaked everything. No matter how thick the shoes – socks were never safe. When the two girls stepped out into the winter wonderland, the snow storm had, incredibly, taken a short break. After throwing the white stuff down for hours upon hours, the castle was covered from top to bottom and a good foot of snow surrounded the area.

Eleanor made sure to pack on a couple extra robes before she even attempted to set out into it.

Luckily, Hagrid's hut was warm and welcoming. Despite his half giant side helping deflect the freezing temperatures, Hagrid's fire was burning with a vengeance when they arrived and Eleanor quickly ran over to it, warming herself eagerly.

"Yer shouldn't be out in this weather girls! Yer'll catch yer death!" Hagrid had ushered them inside quickly.

"Well we couldn't just ignore you over Christmas Hagrid!" Lily grinned as the man blushed. "So, what's new anyway?" Eleanor laughed as Hagrid's face lit up before he launched into a story about the new herd of Hippogriff and how well they were doing. This man, who looked terrifying with his large stature and big bushy hair, was the reason a book should never be judged by its cover. His heart was bigger than anyone Eleanor had ever met – and not just because he was half giant. In the midst of his tales about the magical creatures he was helping Professor Kettleburn with, Hagrid offered the girls two muffins.

"Careful, they're pipin' hot! Made them myself!" Eleanor graciously took one and grinned at Hagrid's excited expression, "Well go on then! I gotta' see if they're any good!"

Simultaneously, the two girls bit into the muffins. _Bit_ might have been a bit of an exaggeration. _What the hell is this?_ Eleanor couldn't even get her teeth through the rock hard cake – in fact, she was fairly certain she might've even chipped a tooth. Glancing over a Lily, she saw the same utterly bemused expression on her friends face. Eleanor turned back to Hagrid, placing a big smile on her face and prayed Lily would stay quiet – Hagrid was sure to be suspicious if she suddenly started talking about sea turtles or something.

"They're great Hagrid!" Eleanor lied, "Who did you make them for?"

Hagrid beamed at her, "The new Hippogriffs o' course!"

Dinner passed quickly and before she knew it, Eleanor was in bed, counting down the seconds to Christmas day. When she was younger, her parents always made sure she was in bed at eight on Christmas Eve – Santa Claus had told them he would be dropping by at nine so she had to go to bed early. Eleanor smiled to herself as she remembered one year that she sneakily stayed awake until nine to catch sight of the big red man.

 _Eleanor lay still under her covers. As always, her parents had left her bedroom door open just a crack – there were no closed doors in the Douglas household. Her eyes were glued the slice of light coming from downstairs. Eleanor's parents were always very strict on Christmas Eve that she didn't listen into their minds. Santa had told them that it was very important she didn't do that._

 _With her telepathy glued onto the old lady from next door's dreams, Eleanor was free to concentrate on the oncoming show. Checking her bedside clock, she saw she had just 10 minutes to go before she could finally meet the man who treasured her so on Christmas day. She was terribly desperate to thank him for everything he had gotten her – Mummy always said that showing gratitude was one of the best things a person could do for another. Her hands clasped around her duvet tightly as she squealed quietly. Santa was coming!_

" _Eleanor?" Her mother's voice came through the door. Eleanor quickly shut her eyes and pretended to be asleep, "I know you're awake sweetheart," Opening, her eyes, Eleanor saw her mother staring down at her with a soft smile on her face. "What did we tell you about going to sleep early?"_

" _I'm sorry mummy, but I wanted to meet Santa," Eleanor groaned._

" _Eleanor, Santa Claus is a very busy man, he can't meet every child he brings presents, and it would be unfair for him to just meet a select few and leave the others out wouldn't it?" Her mother stroked her hair back from her eyes as she sat on the edge of her bed. Eleanor nodded sadly. "Well then, you best get to sleep before he gets here. Your sister is already asleep,"_

" _But 'Lizabeth is just a baby, she sleeps all the time anyway," Eleanor complained. She had been so excited to have a little sister, someone to play with, but in the two years since she was born, all her sister seemed to do was sleep. Play time didn't last very long at all._

 _Janet bit her lip to hide her grin as she looked down at her daughter. "Goodnight my love." Eleanor felt her mother's lips on the top of her head._

" _Goodnight mummy."_

Sighing, the 14 year old Eleanor snapped herself out of her memories. Tomorrow would be difficult enough without reminiscing about past holidays.

It was another hour before she finally gave in to sleep.

"El? Psst, El?" Something poked Eleanor in the side and she sleepily slapped whatever it was, "Ow, El wake up!" Lily whispered desperately. Eleanor twisted her head around to see the red head coming through her curtains, "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" She barely had time to blink before Lily launched herself on top of her laughing loudly. She shuffled around until she was sitting on Eleanor's back.

"Ow! Get off me!" Eleanor struggled against her own laughter as she pretended to be angry.

Lily ignored her and continued to bounce, "IT'S CHRISTMASSSSS!" She squealed happily.

"Yes, ok, it's Christmas! Yey! Ok, now get off me!" Eleanor pushed at her again and this time Lily jumped up and onto the floor.

"Can we do presents now?!" Eleanor felt her smile drop as Lily bounced around excitedly. _Presents. Great._ She thought dryly.

The curtains around her bed opened completely and tied themselves back and Eleanor caught a sight of the room. It was decorated similarly to the great hall. Tinsel, baubles and sparkles everywhere. Pulling herself up out of her unbelievably warm and comfortable bed, Eleanor squinted as she looked around the end of her bed where as she expected, no presents were stood. A rush of relief and dread ran through her. Relief that no one had gotten her anything, and dread that she was going to have to come up with a reason that no one got her anything to explain to Lily. She took a deep breath and looked over at Lily, watching as she glanced at Eleanor's lack of gifts, pity, confusion and shock written on her face.

"This is for you," Lily handed over a small something. It was wrapped up so perfectly that the lines even matched up. Eleanor winced internally as she took the present and thanked her friend. The sight of her mother enthusiastically handing her presents flashed up in her mind. She shook her head slightly and reached for the candies she had gotten Lily.

"Thanks Lil. This is for you." Eleanor's wrapping skills were no-where close to Lily's – probably because she had never done it before. Still, Lily grinned at her and took it gratefully before tearing it open eagerly. Eleanor watched as the grin grew as Lily saw all of the candies fall out of the wrapping.

"CAULDRON CAKES! YES!" Lily leapt up and threw her arms around Eleanor, "Thanks El!"

When Lily turned back to her other gifts, Eleanor looked down at her gift from Lily. It would be rude to not open it, but a big part of her didn't want too. She had successfully refrained from celebrating Christmas for years but now she was going to have to break that streak.

Slowly peeling the paper back, Eleanor found herself holding her breath - as if she was disconnecting a bomb rather than a gift. When she realised what it was, Eleanor felt an immediate rush of emotions. Guilt was the main one. Picking up the bracelet from her lap, she looked it over as the red and gold stones sparkled. _And all I got her was chocolate._ All of a sudden, her emotions began to overwhelm her and she felt herself begin to tear up. Her vision blurred as she stared down at the beautiful piece of jewellery in her hands. A sledgehammer slammed into her chest, opening up a hole that she had fought so hard to close for years. _No_. She couldn't do this now. Rolling it through her fingers, she faintly saw the letter 'E' before she looked up at Lily who was practically bouncing in her seat.

Before she could stop herself, Eleanor ran over and wrapped her arms around her best friend. "Thank you Lily," Lily jumped slightly at the surprise then laughed.

"You're welcome! Look, I got one too! They're friendship bracelets!" Lily held out her own wrist which held a bracelet identical to Eleanor's except it had an 'L' where her own had an 'E'. "Here," Lily grabbed the bracelet from her and fastened it around her wrist. "Hey, are you ok?" She asked, finally realising that a few tears had escaped and were dripping down Eleanor's cheeks.

Eleanor blinked and wiped at her face furiously, "I'm fine, I'm fine. This is just so nice of you. Thank you."

Despite the clear lie, Lily smiled back at her, "You don't have to keep thanking me El." Even though Eleanor was still staring at the jewellery around her wrist, out of the corner of her eye, she caught Lily looking over her shoulder to the end of her empty bed. "Do you want to help me open some of these?" She gestured to the still huge pile of gifts she hadn't opened yet.

Eleanor couldn't stop it as the image of her little sister showed in her mind. Eleanor always helped Elizabeth open up her presents. She cringed and involuntarily stepped back until her legs hit her bed.

"No it's ok. You go ahead."

Eleanor was still wrapped up in her own thoughts when Lily screeched. Her head shot around to where the redhead what stood at the end of her bed. Eleanor was pretty sure smoke was coming out of her ears. _James what've you done now?_

"THAT STUPID, MORONIC, ARROGANT- DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE'S DONE?" Lily quickly spun around to face Eleanor, who instinctively stepped back from the incredibly furious Lily in front of her. When she didn't reply, Lily answered for her, "HE'S SENT ME A BLOODY RING! A RING! WHAT THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE'S PLAYING AT? A BLOODY RING?" Lily shoved a hand in Eleanor's face. She blinked, trying to focus on the ring that was a few inches too close to her face. Holding her hands up in a mock surrender signal, Eleanor took the ring out of Lily's hand and looked it over. It was old, that much she could tell. A simple gold band with three rubies and two pearls alternating. It was beautiful – not that she would tell Lily that, especially when she was in 'Potter mode'.

"OH AND GET THIS…" Lily picked up a card and began to read, " _'My darling Lily, if you're reading this, that means that you've opened my gift. This ring is an old Potter family heirloom. Don't worry, it's not a proposal – you'll have to be patient for a few more years for that. For now, please enjoy knowing that you at least have a little bit of Potter with you at all times. Yours forever, James_.'"

By the time Lily finished reading, Eleanor had her hands firmly clasped across her face, trying desperately to hide the grin on her face. Her tears had dried and the distraction was extremely welcomed but Lily would kill her if she laughed. Luckily, Lily was too busy screaming and punching her pillow; probably pretending it was James' face. While her best friend hated the attention she gathered from the Potter boy, Eleanor found it to be absolutely hilarious. He had zero shame and also lacked the ability to become embarrassed which lead for some ridiculous situations. When he wasn't purposely pushing her buttons, just as an excuse to talk to her, he tried many different ways to gain her affections – none of which worked – but he was always consistent. And always 100% certain that one day, Lily would fall for him and they'd live happily ever after.

"Ok! Ok! That pillow is innocent!" Eleanor dived onto Lily's bed to rescue the poor pillow from its beating. Lily put up a fight, "Lil! Calm down! Oh geez!" Eleanor squirmed, narrowly missing a punch to the stomach as Lily continued her tirade.

"I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!" Lily screamed, eventually taking her frustrations away from any bed covers. Eleanor sat quietly on Lily's bed as she stomped around for a little while longer. It wasn't going to work trying to talk to her when she was so far in 'Potter mode'.

A few minutes passed before Eleanor spoke up again, "You calm now?"

"No," Lily slouched down on her bed, scowling like a petulant child. She turned back to opening her presents before Eleanor could say another word. The sight of Lily's gifts brought her sharply out of her amusement like a smack to the face. She placed the ring down on Lily's bed side table, sighing as she awkwardly brushed her hands off on her thighs.

"I think I'm going to just go down into the common room for a second," Eleanor muttered, heading for the door.

"El?" Lily called out to her hesitantly. Eleanor turned and raised an eyebrow, "I'm sorry about that," She gestured to the bed, "I just…" She shook her head, "Are you ok?"

"Me?" Eleanor blinked, "I'm fine," She smiled before quickly turning away and shooting out the door before Lily could question her further. Truth was, that the spirit in that room, the whole 'Christmas cheer' of it all, was becoming too much. Even the few distractions Lily hilariously provided didn't last long enough to actually make a difference. Each time, Eleanor's brain went straight back to her family. What they would be doing right now if they were alive. What her mother would be wearing. What her father would be joking about. What Elizabeth would be screaming about. Her imagination was working too hard for her liking. And this wasn't even something her room could get rid of. No, this was a normal, human emotion and while Eleanor would usually be grateful to experience something as a normal person would; she would take all of the control issues, mind controlling, everything, she would take everything that came with her mutation ten times over if it just meant she could have her family.

Stepping down from the bottom stair, Eleanor sighed as she entered the common room. She needed something to keep her mind away from the horrors lurking in her head.

"Well, well," A low voice whispered from one of the sofas. A light bulb went off in her head. Sirius moved his head forward so she could see him properly, his stupid smile still in place, "What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"

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 **Gimme those reviews!**


	13. Chapter 13

Ok, ok, so it's been a while. I've had major writers block with one particular scene and I just could not get through it, fortunately, today I managed to write some, so I thought I'd send out another chapter! Especially as this is probably my favourite chapter so far - ever since I finished it I've been dying to get it out!

 **DISCLAIMER** **\- Anything recognisable is not mine!**

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Eleanor grinned as she walked over to where Sirius was sitting on one of the sofas. If anyone could keep her mind occupied, it was the boy sitting in front of her. He could encompass her mind easily – and often did – so he could distract her enough to take away the pain, she was sure of it. She saw his slightly shocked expression when she joined him on the sofa – throughout the past few weeks, her 'go to' whenever she saw Sirius was to leave the room. But that was before. Before Christmas. Before memories she'd really rather not think of flooded her mind. Right now she needed him.

"What are you doing?" She smiled sweetly at him and chuckled at the suspicious look on his face. "I'm not going to bite you, I'm serious,"

"Actually…" He held a finger up and grinned at the pun.

"Ok, you're hilarious, very clever," Eleanor said dryly, "But I meant why are you down here instead of in your dorm?"

"I could ask you the same thing," He raised an eyebrow.

"True," She smirked, letting the subject drop. If she was forced to answer him, she'd only be bringing up the very thing she'd been trying to forget. She clenched her eyes shut tightly, stopping that train of thought before it could properly begin. Searching her brain for anything other than the memories she was pushing away, Eleanor blurted out the first thing she came up with, "Look, I wanted to apologise," Sirius' eyes widened, and if she was honest, so did her's – she hadn't even realised what she was saying until it was out – but it was too late to back out now, "Don't look so surprised, I apologise!"

"I beg to differ,"

"Beg all you want, it's true either way." Eleanor beamed when Sirius rolled his eyes, "But I'm serious – and don't you dare say it! –" Eleanor held her finger up at him when he opened his mouth, "I wanted to apologise for being rude to you for the past few weeks and just not telling you why, I know how that feels and it's not great, so I'm sorry." The more she thought about it, the more she realised that she _did_ want to apologise. She was being a massive hypocrite and doing to Sirius the exact thing that he did to her. The exact thing that had caused her so much distress, wondering what she could have done to cause one of her friends to suddenly drop her like a hot potato. She winced as the realisation enforced itself.

"It's fine, I mean, it's not, it's just… whatever. I don't really care," He said in an overdramatically sad tone, copying her words from when he apologised.

She playfully glared at him, "You're not funny,"

"I thought I was hilarious?" He grinned and Eleanor couldn't help a grin of her own forming as she shook her head at him. His smile was bright, the type of smile she hadn't seen him wearing in a long time. A toothy grin of pure happiness. This is what she had missed. While Sirius could make her feel at war with herself and lose control, he could also make her smile like no one else. A small part of her brain chastised her for giving someone so much power over her but she pushed it away – deciding to deal with that another day. As she tore her eyes from his lips, Eleanor looked into his grey orbs. She had never known anyone with eyes like these before – yet another way that Sirius was completely unique. She could feel those eyes on her as if it was a physical touch. As he gazed into her own eyes, she felt oddly exposed. Almost like _he_ was the telepath and was reading every thought that passed through her mind. Eleanor felt a warm blush creep up her cheeks as she imagined it. As they stared at each other, Eleanor waited for the awkward tension to arrive but it didn't. The pair sat looking at each other in comfortable silence until their eye contact was broken when Sirius raised a hand to his hair and messed it around in a gesture that proved he spent too much time with James. But the result couldn't be further from James' - where he simply messed his hair until it looked like he'd been electrocuted, Sirius' hair fell neatly back into place; the raven strands covering his ears and just grazing his shoulders. It looked so soft, Eleanor had to stop herself from reaching forwards to run her fingers through it.

After a few more moments of silence, Sirius spoke again, "That was me that you were talking about, right?"

"What?"

"Before, when you said that you know what it's like to be ignored and not know why, that was me, right?" He looked hurt.

Eleanor took a deep breath. She hadn't meant anything insulting by it, it just came out. It was the truth. She nodded cautiously and he sighed.

"I'm sorry Ellie." She raised her eyebrows; in the whole time she had known him, Sirius had only called her something other than 'Douglas' a few times, "Yes, I'm going to call you Ellie now, I've decided." He smiled before turning back to his forlorn expression, "I just figured that James' or Remus told you or something," Sirius shuffled around uncomfortably. "I know that sounds stupid and cowardly, but still," He continued when she stayed silent, "I just had some stuff going on in my head. But I _am_ really sorry for taking it out on you." He looked her back in the eye and Eleanor almost felt her breath escape her at the intensity of his emotions. His eyes burned with feeling. She could count on one hand how many times she had witnessed Sirius _being_ serious. Solemn moods just weren't common with him. But this was a much better apology. Plus, this time, she was ready to actually accept.

"I forgive you. It would be a bit hypocritical if I didn't now wouldn't it?" She smirked, trying to lighten the mood a little. It worked and Sirius beamed at her.

"Well I forgive you too." He grabbed her hand and pulled her up so she was stood. Ignoring her questioning look, Sirius leaned forward and for a split second, Eleanor's heart squeezed and she was sure he was going to kiss her until he ducked his head towards her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her waist. Her body immediately set on fire. His body was warm and tense as she copied him, wrapping her own arms around his neck. She tucked her head into the curve below his jaw and felt him shiver when she breathed against his neck. His hair tickled her cheek but she couldn't move – and not just because Sirius was hugging her so tightly that moving had become physically impossible. Her form fit against his like a glove and Eleanor didn't ever want to move again. Despite his boyish frame, his arms felt strong around her middle, as if he had covered her in a safety net. It was ironic seeing as though Sirius Black was _anything_ but safe. He chopped and changed whenever he liked, he was impulsive, immature and irrational. But in that moment, he was her anchor. Eleanor was safe in his arms. Even more so than when in her room. "Are we ok now? Really?" He whispered against her neck. It took a few seconds before Eleanor could focus on the question rather than how it felt when his lips lightly brushed against her neck.

She smiled and pulled away to look at him, her hands resting on his shoulders, "We're ok." Sirius grinned back at her and laughed.

"Great, because I have an idea and Remus just says I'm stupid…" Eleanor snorted as Sirius pulled her back down onto the sofa, launching into his plan on how to prank McGonagall and get away with it – as if that was ever going to happen.

When Lily strolled down into the common room, Eleanor and Sirius were both still sat on the sofa together. Eleanor didn't miss the baffled expression that crossed her friends face as she headed over and chose to silently respond to it. She grinned over Sirius' shoulder at the red head and when he turned his head to see what she was looking at, quickly nodded – letting Lily know that she was good. Thankfully, the two girls were fluent in 'best friend talk' and Lily understood, a smile of her own forming as she sat down next to Eleanor.

"Merry Christmas, Black," Surprisingly, Sirius didn't respond and, instead, just acted as if she hadn't spoke, "So you guys are friends now then?" Lily gestured between Eleanor and Sirius.

Sirius winked at her, "She just can't stay away from me, can you?" His, already huge, grin beamed when Eleanor gasped and smacked the back of his head playfully. Despite herself, she couldn't help matching his facial expression. Her entire body felt lighter. Like if she wasn't careful, that she'd just float away into the clouds. She hadn't realised how much her friendship with Sirius had mattered to her. They had spent the majority of the year butting heads for one reason or another, but when they were actually friends – it was brilliant. Sirius was the type of person that everyone needed in their lives, Eleanor decided. Even though he was a pain in the neck most of the time, he lived in the moment. He lived life for what it was. He appreciated the little things. He was _fun_. And Eleanor needed some fun in her life.

"Well, speaking of friends, you can tell Potter that I'm going to kill him," Lily continued, a sweet smile contradicting her words.

Sirius was puzzled for a moment until realisation dawned across his face and he burst out laughing, "Oh my Merlin! I completely forgot about that!" His hand smacked his thigh as he threw his head back.

"It's not funny!" Lily growled. Sirius ignored her and continued to guffaw.

Hiding her own smile, Eleanor grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her up, "Ok, come on, before you decide to kill him as well," She pulled Lily towards the portrait with no specific destination in mind.

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" Sirius yelled between laughs, "You're coming to the snowball fight this afternoon aren't you?" He asked, looking Eleanor dead in the eye. "We decided to bring it forwards, make it more intimate." He wiggled his eyebrows at her and she rolled her eyes, pretending like her cheeks weren't flaming. The marauders had organized a snowball fight that was supposed to be taking place when break was over and the other students were back, but apparently Sirius had different ideas.

"Go outside, in the freezing cold, to get pelted with snow?" Eleanor asked sarcastically, "It doesn't exactly scream 'a good time'." She turned around with a smirk and continued to the portrait.

She stepped through carefully, but not before she heard Sirius shouting from the common room in his usual dramatic tone, "I thought we were friends Ellie!" Her lips twitched further as she and Lily climbed down the stair case.

"You want to tell me what that was about?" Lily said. Eleanor looked up to see her friend staring at her as if she'd gone mad. She winced as she racked her brain for a reasonable excuse. In the end, she went with playing dumb.

"What?" She asked innocently.

"Don't act coy with me Eleanor Douglas," Lily pointed her finger at Eleanor, "I thought you said he lessened your control or something, meaning that you were going to stay away from him?"

Eleanor sighed, "I don't know. I just…" She trailed off.

Lily suddenly stopped and grabbed her elbow, spinning her around, "El, what's going on? You've been acting strange all day…" When Eleanor opened her mouth to deny the accusation, Lily cut her off, "And don't say you're fine. You're _not_ fine. I know you, remember?" Lily's green eyes sparked with worry.

Eleanor examined the floor as she quickly ran through her options in her mind. Number 1, she could continue to deny it and possibly cause an argument between the two girls. She could tell by Lily's mood that she'd only have to push a couple buttons before she exploded. Number 2, she could tell her the truth. She wasn't fine. She wouldn't be fine again while the Christmas period was looming over her. She could tell her that she was an orphan. That her entire family was gone and as a result, she hated the month of December. Or number 3, she could go somewhere in the middle of those two. Number 3 seemed the most logical solution, and also the answer least likely to bring any further questioning.

Taking a deep breath, Eleanor began, "I just don't like Christmas,"

If the situation was different, Eleanor might've burst out laughing at Lily's expression of pure astonishment. "Why?! Who doesn't like Christmas?!"

"Um, me?" She tried to joke but it fell flat, "It just… brings back some memories that I'd rather… forget…" Eleanor's voice was almost non-existent. Out of her peripheral vision, she saw Lily's head snap up in her direction.

"What?" She whispered. Eleanor didn't reply, not knowing whether she was asking about the memories or for her to repeat it – either way, she wouldn't say it. "You… I didn't…" Lily stuttered, obviously trying to think of something to say.

Eleanor looked up and saw her friend's face covered in emotions – pity and confusion being the main two. Her eyebrows were scrunched slightly as if she was trying to see into her mind. Eleanor saw that she was struggling to find something to say and fought her reflex to look away, instead building up a small smile on her face.

"It's ok. It's in the past, there's nothing I can do about it… but that doesn't mean I want to think about it either." She shrugged, as if talking about how she dropped an ice cream cone. There was no need to worry Lily further. The poor girl had started the day off, bouncing around the room and a morning with Eleanor had made her look like she was about to burst into tears. _Well done El._

Lily took a deep breath and sighed, "I'm taking it that you don't want to talk about it, but if you ever change your mind..." The red head pulled her into a tight hug, "I'm sorry El."

Eleanor let out a dry laugh as she rubbed Lily's back, "It's not your fault."

Lily pulled back and looked her in the eye. Whatever she saw, she approved of as the next second she nodded slightly and smiled.

"So anyway… you and Sirius?" Eleanor laughed loudly and started running down the corridor, "Don't just run away! I need answers!" Lily yelled after her.

Two hours later, the girls were stood in the owlery. After Lily had caught up with her and demanded that she be told of all new developments in her and Sirius' relationship, Eleanor was feeling much more positive about the day than she had when she woke up. She felt so good, in fact, that when Lily asked if she would go with her to send some letters' of thanks to the people who sent her presents, there was only a twinge in her chest at the idea. This _did_ have a down side though. Now she was stood under so many owls that she lost count each time she tried to number them, and was vigorously diving from side to side as she attempted to dodge the droppings.

"I hope you realise how much of an amazing friend I am," She growled at Lily when one owl aimed a little too close.

"Don't worry, I'm well aware," Lily answered without even looking away from what she was doing. The owl in front of her flew off and Eleanor let out a sigh of relief.

"That was the last one, right? We can go now?" She rushed the words out, keeping a close eye on the other birds around her.

Lily just rolled her eyes and nodded, "Yes. We can go now." Eleanor was too happy to leave to complain about Lily speaking to her like a child.

Christmas dinner passed with as much attention as Eleanor wanted. It was quiet and simple. She and Lily sat together at the Gryffindor table, eating as if it were any other meal. She did feel slightly guilty for taking away all of the excitement from Lily and her Christmas day, but when she had brought it up, Lily quickly shut her down with the whole 'I'm your best friend, this is what best friends do' act.

It was on the way back to the common room that Eleanor decided she had been selfish enough for the holiday and brought up something she'd been avoiding all day.

"So did you get anything you like?" She winced out the words like they left an awful taste in her mouth.

"El, we don't have to talk about this…"

"No, I want too." She nodded at Lily, who still looking disbelieving – and quite rightly so, it was a barefaced lie. After a few seconds she shook her head and sighed.

"Fine. I did, yeah. I got so much cool stuff," Eleanor could hear her voice get more and more excited as she spoke and her guilt at keeping her away from this got bigger and bigger, "I got some new dress robes! They're so fancy, I don't know how my parents even got them but still, they're lovely! I'll have to show you them! _And_ I got some of the best chocolate in the entire world…" She winked, nudging Eleanor with her elbow, who laughed and muttered the password when they reached the portrait.

"Have you decided what you're going to do with that ring?"

Lily's mood changed immediately, "You mean other than send it back to Potter and shove it so far up where the sun don't shine?" She growled.

Eleanor hid a grin, "Yeah, other than that,"

"Then no, no idea." Lily smiled.

"Ah, there she is!" James voice rang from the common room and Lily dropped her smile instantly, replacing it with a scowl.

"He really does have a 'Lily radar'…" Eleanor mused as Lily just scowled harder.

Coming through the archway entrance, Eleanor found the marauders lounging around in the common room. As usual, Sirius and James occupied the two main sofas and Peter was slouched in the chair next to James. The former two boys looked as though they had simply collapsed and not bothered to move from that position. Sirius had his right arm flung over the back of the sofa, with his left leg hanging off onto the floor, and James' head was hanging over the arm rest, his glasses sliding up his face as he stared at the world upside down. Eleanor smiled at Remus, who looked a _lot_ better than the last time she had seen him, sat in the other big chair next to his friends before remembering that she was speaking to Sirius and turned to him. Sirius was already looking in her direction, winking when he caught her eye. She rolled her eyes at him but couldn't stop a smile from forming.

"Why don't you guys hang down here with us?" James called to Lily who was already at the bottom of the staircase to the girl's dorm.

Lily turned and gave him a look. A look that would've made wiser men squirm but as always, James proved that he was either not wise or stupid – or both. He just grinned up at her as if she'd just offered him 3 wishes. "I'd rather stick pins in my eyes."

"Now, I find that hard to believe," James pulled himself up to sit properly, "No, _I_ think you just don't want to hang out with us because you'd have such a hard time controlling yourself around me…"

Lily audibly growled.

"I have a galleon on James," A voice whispered into Eleanor's ear, thoroughly distracting her from the next Lily/James Christmas break argument. She slowly turned her head to see Sirius, who had somehow gotten up from the sofa unnoticed and was stood right next to her. A little too close for comfort. _More like not close enough for comfort_.

As she looked into his grey eyes, amusement shone brightly but there was also a note of hesitation. Eleanor remembered back to just a few days ago when she had practically bitten his head off for joking about their friends arguing – hesitancy was kind of understandable.

She put on a playfully annoyed expression and turned back to face James and Lily, the former of who was still aggravating the latter, "I don't think it's a good idea to bet on your friend…"

Luckily Sirius caught the joke in her voice and his lips twitched – _probably in relief that you're not going to bite his head off again._ "Why not? I think it's a great idea,"

Eleanor scoffed, "You think pranking McGonagall is a great idea – your opinion doesn't count. Anyway, you shouldn't bet on your friend because," She caught his eye again, " _my_ friend is the one that's going to win."

Sirius laughed loudly, "Oh that's how it's going to be?" He smirked at her with an eyebrow raised.

"Oh, that's how it _is_ , Black," Eleanor tried, and failed, to hide just how big her grin was as she looked back at him.

"Ok, Evans will destroy James, but I've got another for you. You vs me. Winner is…?"

"Is that a trick question?" She sniggered.

"No!" Sirius tried to put an offended look on his face but the expression was ruined when he continued to chuckle.

"Me! Obviously I would win," Eleanor turned to face him fully and crossed her arms over her chest.

Sirius shook his head at her bemused, "Oh my dear Ellie, how wrong you are…"

She stood still and simply raised her eyebrows a little in a silently challenging gesture. It was funny how once again Sirius had distracted her so completely, that the noises of Lily yelling at James sounded as though they were miles away. He widened his eyes as he understood the universally recognised signal. A devious smile made way onto his face and Eleanor promptly remembered who she was talking too – this was Sirius. The guy who would walk through fire just to prove you wrong when you told him he couldn't. The guy who once held his breath until he passed out just because James said it was impossible. The guy who would cut his nose off just to spite his face. The guy who would definitely _not_ turn down a challenge. It was at that moment that she realised how bad of an idea this was.

"No. No…" She held a finger out towards him, slowly stepping backwards. He followed her movements, not replying but with a nod of his head. Eleanor shook her head profusely but he just continued to nod and grin.

In the instant she turned to run away, Eleanor felt a warm arm worm its way around her waist, picking her up from the ground. Sirius pulled her against his stomach and held her tight as he span around in circles laughing proudly. Eleanor began to giggle uncontrollably as though she was a little girl. He quickly stopped and started to tickle her with his other hand, encouraged by her laughter. There were too many feelings going on in her body. Sirius' touch, as usual, had set her alight but now she also had to deal with the irritating sensation of being tickled up and down her sides. She squirmed vigorously against him, kicking her legs and throwing her arms around hoping to hit any part of him.

"No, stop it! Let me go!" She laughed out between breaths, "Stop… Sirius… I…"

"Nope! You're mine!" He yelled, laughing wildly. As a result of her movement, Sirius' grip had loosened and he was too preoccupied with tickling her to notice. She quickly dropped her feet to the floor and span around to face him, pushing at his torso sharply, sending him backwards over the back of the sofa. Unfortunately, Eleanor didn't count on him taking her down with him. As he fell, Sirius reached out for the closest thing he could grab, which, _of course_ , happened to be Eleanor. His arm firmly around her waist once more, she followed him over the back of the furniture, landing in a heap on top of him.

Eleanor held her breath as she mentally registered the exact situation she was in. It was safe to say that _this_ was the complete, 100%, total opposite of avoiding Sirius. Joking, play fighting and, of all things, laying on top of him, did _not_ fall under that category. She tried, and spectacularly failed, to shut down the part of her brain that was _very_ aware of the 15 year old boy underneath her. Looking up, Eleanor found herself locked in Sirius' gaze. Sirius himself seemed to be not unaware of their predicament, his hands still tightly grasping her waist. His eyes were tense and, unusually, serious – the same expression that would be expected were he approaching a hungry lion. It was very clear that he was nervous about Eleanor's reaction to their new positioning. Not that she could blame him. She _had_ been a bit hot and cold towards him recently. Allowing her lips to twitch upwards the tiniest amount, Eleanor watched as the grey turned to silver and the streak of amusement came back.

"There you go. Proved it." His voice was raspy – probably from where Eleanor had winded him with her landing.

"Exactly," She breathed, "Proved that I was right."

"Ye- Wha-? No!" Eleanor laughed as he stumbled around his words, "I won! I pulled you down, aka I won!"

"You fell down because I pushed you! 'Aka, I won!'" Sirius shook his head at her. She nodded down at him. Their faces holding matching grins.

"Oi! Sirius, get your paws off Douglas!" James voice rang out, sharply reminding them both that not only were others in the room, but that Eleanor was still in her position on top of Sirius, and he was still holding her waist as if it was his lifeline. They both tensed simultaneously.

Eleanor flushed immediately and jumped up, accidentally elbowing Sirius in the chest in the process. She looked around the room to see the others all staring at them incredulously. Even Lily and James had stopped arguing.

"You done here?" She asked Lily, gesturing between her and James, "Ok, good. We'll just, yeah, come on. Just get this-" Eleanor stuttered as she grabbed her friend and dragged her to their room.

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	14. Chapter 14

Ok, so I know this might feel like it's moving at a slow pace - but 1- it does pick up soon and 2 - this is going to be a long ass story, as in, I plan for it to still be going after they graduate. I have so many ideas for what to do and where to go, but I also want to make it real.

 **DISCLAIMER - Anything recognisable isn't mine!**

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That Christmas ended up being the best Christmas Eleanor had endured since her family died. Granted, it was because it didn't feel like Christmas whatsoever – courtesy of Lily and the marauders – but still. Over the next two weeks, the remaining Gryffindors spent more and more time together. Lily and James argued a record number of 26 times throughout the rest of the break, but in the rare instances of peace, it was actually incredibly refreshing to spend time with a group of incessant jokesters. Laughter only took a break for a short while when Lily and James argued, but their yelling quickly became background noise to the guffaws that seemed to be constantly bouncing off of the common room walls. When she wasn't busy in a screaming rant at one James Potter, Eleanor would often find Lily spending time with Remus – much to James' annoyance. It was obvious that he would be the marauder, if any, that Lily would 'click' with. Despite his friends' and their reputation, Remus and Lily were actually quite similar; both were brilliant at their studies, fiercely loyal and incredibly kind people. Eleanor had laughed the first time they returned from spending time with the boys and Lily wasn't wearing her usual scowl. It was then that she and Remus' friendship had begun to flourish.

Eleanor, herself, had a blast when hanging out with the marauders. They were hilarious. It was easy to see how they almost entranced so many of their peers the more time she spent in their company. It was even easier, however, to see how tight their bond was. The four boys could very simply spend an entire day without needing to say a word to one another – not that they ever _would_ , to be honest, Eleanor wouldn't be surprised if she found out that Sirius and James talked in their sleep. They conversed silently in a way that only very close friends could do. It wasn't difficult to achieve this when there were only two, take her and Lily for an example, but as a foursome? No, those boys were something else.

She was fairly proud to announce that since that 25th of December, she and Sirius had actually managed to stay friends. Seeing as though since the beginning of the year, they had only managed to be friends for weeks at a time before something snapped and they fell out, it was nice to feel secure in their friendship. Sure, it was still under three weeks, but who's counting? _You are._ Her mind snapped at her.

Back in reality, Eleanor blinked and wiped at her eyes. Her daydreaming felt more like actual dreaming. She glanced around the room quickly to see others looked similar. Neither kind of hallucinating was particularly uncommon in this class. Mary sat a few chairs over from her completely sound asleep, not even trying to hide her slumber – not that Professor Binns took very much notice. Eleanor often thought he resembled a robot more than a ghost; or even teacher. He did the rounds, taught the subject and set the homework but there was just something missing from him. _Life_ was missing from him – and not just in the painfully obvious way – no, it seemed as though he had always had this spark missing, even when his heart pumped. Sighing softly, she turned to look at Lily who was sitting next to her. Even she was struggling to keep her attention focused, though admittedly, Lily did seem to be trying a lot harder than anyone else. At the other side of the room, almost all of the Ravenclaws had abandoned any pretence of paying any kind of attention. They had only been back from break for three days, but it felt so much longer. History of Magic always felt like it took an age to pass but as the students struggled to return to 'school mode', time had never gone slower.

The only thing that kept Eleanor going was the occasional entertainment provided by the marauders. It seemed that even a class as totally dull as this one couldn't suck the fun out of their day. None were taking notes, not even Remus. Instead they were all busying themselves with a game they invented that Eleanor called 'Try to throw things through Professor Binns'. Whenever the ghastly figure floated by, one of the boys would throw an object through his shape, each time the object becoming more and more ridiculous. For example, a few minutes earlier, a sharp bang had captured her already straying focus and Eleanor spun around to see the boys had pulled a shelf from the wall, clearing it frantically so they didn't miss the next opportunity to throw it at the teacher. When she'd raised a questioning brow at Sirius he just shrugged and grinned.

The days passed, and the school began to return to the usual routine. The teachers made up for the break by handing out mounds of assignments – so much so that by the time Eleanor came up for air, a week had gone by and it was time for the first Hogsmeade visit of 1975.

Alice and Frank were still going strong, so Mary declared that she would be tagging along with Eleanor and Lily for the day. As much as she tried to understand, Eleanor couldn't fathom why Alice had practically dropped her best friend now that she was dating Frank. Before Christmas it was bad enough, but since school started up again, Alice never spent any of her free time away from her other half. Sure, it had to be exciting and all, but Eleanor couldn't imagine ever ignoring Lily if she got a boyfriend. But then, who knows, maybe she would. She'd never had a boyfriend after all. _A two day 'relationship' with Francis does_ not _count._

The girls arrived at Hogsmeade and climbed out of the carriage in deep discussion about the situation.

"Do you guys think I should talk to her?" Mary asked. As tough and sarcastic as she was, Eleanor knew that Alice's friendship meant a lot to Mary, and could see how hurt she was by the predicament – no matter how she tried to pretend otherwise.

Lily sighed, thinking, "If you mean, sit her down and _talk_ about it, then yes. But if you mean shout at her and argue, then no." It was a valid point, Mary was fiery at the best of times, but when something actually hurt her, she turned it up a whole load.

"I wouldn't _shout_ at her per se, just point out how terrible of a friend she's been recently and that she should break up with Frank because he's evidently turning her into an awful person."

Eleanor pursed her lips, "That might not be the best way to go about things…"

"Well what am I supposed to do?" Mary threw her hands up in the air, "She's supposed to be my best friend and now I'm stuck here, third wheeling you two, instead of them."

"Hey!"

"Oh you know it's true. It's always been me and Alice, Dorcas and Elsie and you two. But now everything's changed because she's with Frank," She trailed off, trying to hide the sadness in her voice.

"Mar, you're going to have to say something. It's not fair that you're hurting this much," Lily frowned.

"I'm not _hurting_ ," Mary lied, "I'm just angry."

"Well whatever you are, here's your chance," Eleanor pointed up ahead where Alice and Frank were walking, hand in hand. Mary looked up instinctively and cringed at the sight but before she could react, the girls were handed a distraction.

"And how are you ladies doing today?" A familiar voice called from behind them; Eleanor started to smile before she even turned around. When she did spin, she saw Sirius heading over, flagged by the other three marauders. She locked eyes with him and saw that spark that she enjoyed so much.

"Not so good now," Lily groaned, not even trying to hide her distaste as James grinned at her.

"Don't be so mean Evans, you might hurt Peter's feelings!" James exclaimed, slamming his hand down on Peter's shoulder in fake comfort. Lily narrowed her eyes at him and smiled sarcastically.

"How do you deal with them?" She turned to Remus who hid a smile of his own as he shrugged.

A tug on her elbow took Eleanor's attention away from Remus' response. As she looked over, she saw Sirius stood with his hands behind his back, bouncing backwards and forwards on his toes. _This level of excitement is never a good thing._ She was immediately suspicious.

"What have you done?" Eleanor asked with caution.

"Why would you assume that I've done something? I'm shocked that you would do that," She raised her eyebrows at him, "Ok, I'm not shocked, but that doesn't mean I've done anything!" The fact that his hands stayed firmly out of sight did little to reassure her. "Close your eyes!"

"Why?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Because I asked you too,"

"You could also ask me to walk off a cliff and I wouldn't do that either,"

He laughed dryly, "Oh wow, I haven't heard that one in a while. Come on, close your eyes,"

"No."

"Why are you ruining my fun? Close your damn eyes," Sirius looked close to stamping his foot like a petulant child.

"Oh well seeing as though you asked so kindly," Eleanor said sarcastically.

"Come onnnnn!" He moaned. Puppy eyes and a sad frown stared back at her. She continued to shake her head but her strength was wavering – _how bad could it be?_ She almost laughed at herself, _this is_ Sirius _, enough said._ "Please?" Sirius added.

Ignoring every part of reasoning in her head, Eleanor sighed deeply, gave him a final warning glare, then closed her eyes.

"Ok, now hold out your hands," She didn't need her sight to know that he was grinning like a Cheshire cat – it was evident in his voice. Somewhat reluctantly, she did as asked. A few seconds later, something was placed in her outstretched hands. Opening her eyes, Eleanor saw four Cauldron Cakes. She looked up to Sirius with a confused expression but didn't get to ask the question before he'd already answered it, "It's our anniversary!"

His 'explanation' didn't help with the confusion, "Huh?"

He rolled his eyes as if she had missed something obvious, "It's been four weeks since we became besties again, ergo four Cauldron Cakes… although if you don't share them with me, I will be severely pissed."

A stunned laugh escaped her lips. _What the hell?_ Would Sirius ever stop surprising her? She was sure she must've looked completely gormless as she stood, trying to wrap her head around what just happened while Sirius just stood next to her looking extremely pleased with himself. Watching his reaction, he reminded her of a dog who'd just brought his owner something; he looked so thrilled.

"I… You…" Eleanor stopped and tried again, "What?"

Sirius suddenly looked like she'd just kicked him, "It's our friend anniversary! A friendiversary if you will," He finished with a laugh. Eleanor couldn't help but join him.

"How does your mind work?"

"Fine, I'll have my cakes back," He reached forwards to empty her hands.

"No!" She shot backwards. They were hers, fair and square. When he looked at her expectantly, she sighed again, "Ok, happy friendiversary." Her enthusiasm levels did quite match his.

Sirius threw his hands around her, hugging her for a quick second before stepping back and Eleanor couldn't stop herself from laughing at him, "Woo!"

A few hours later, Eleanor had lost all four of her Cauldron cakes; one to Lily, two to Sirius and one for herself. Lily had taken some convincing to actually eat the candy after she'd found out that they were from Sirius, and also made a point of rolling her eyes when Eleanor told her the reason behind the gift. But Eleanor thought it was sweet and unique and… _Sirius._

As the clock neared two, Eleanor managed to sneak away from her friends. Today was the last Hogsmeade visit before Lily's birthday so she had to buy something then and couldn't exactly do that with the birthday girl looking over her shoulder. Mary had agreed to keep Lily busy and make up some kind of excuse for her absence seeing as though she had bought Lily's birthday present over the Christmas break.

Walking down past Honeydukes, Eleanor absentmindedly played with her friendship bracelet as she headed to Mr Lightbody's book shop. As much as Lily loved the library at Hogwarts, the two girls shared the same love for owning a book. Reading and rereading it until it was worn and creased. There was just something special about a book that was scuffed and aged. The issue she had was _which_ book to buy. And the fact that she didn't have a lot of money; but that wasn't priority.

Arriving at the store, she immediately headed for the fictional section. Lily loved fantasy stories; something that Eleanor found ironic considering that she basically lived in a fantasy world. But tales of dramatic tragedy and overcoming those problems to conclude in a happy ending were her favourite. Particularly if the story had a strong female lead who saved the day; Lily was a sucker for female protagonists. There was no doubt in Eleanor's mind that was she born a few decades earlier, that Lily would've been one of the muggle suffragettes who handcuffed herself to a gate in protest on the lack of women's rights. _Mary-Sue, she ain't_.

Her eyes ran over the shelf in front of her as she frowned. The next problem she had was that Lily was a bookworm. Meaning she knew she'd have trouble finding something that her friend hadn't already read. Eleanor was so busying surveying the shelf in front of her, she accidentally bumped into someone as she walked down the aisle.

"Oh!" She gasped as she turned to see her victim.

"Oh, I'm sorry I wasn't watching where I was going!" The boy said at the same time as her. When she looked up at his face she started to laugh.

"What are you doing here?"

"I do like books y'know?" Remus joked.

"Yeah but a book store? Doesn't that warrant the others to mock you for… oh, I don't know, at least a week?" Eleanor laughed.

He grinned back at her, "Just because my friends happen to be a little late on the evolutionary scale doesn't mean I have to be," He winked.

"Sure, sure,"

"What are you doing anyway? I would've thought you'd be with Lily and Mary."

"It's Lily's birthday soon and I have a total number of zero presents, so I persuaded Mary to distract her so I could come find something,"

"Oh, yeah. Lily's birthday – that's _big_ news in the boy's dorm." She rolled her eyes at him, "No, I'm serious! James hasn't shut up about it since New Years." At the reminder, Eleanor burst out laughing. Her first New Years at Hogwarts had been… eventful? It had also been the time that James publicly declared his love for Lily for the first time.

" _Ok, ok! Listen up!" James' voice called from the middle of the great hall where all of the students were gathered for the last meal of the year, "I have an announcement to make!"_

 _Even all of the teachers stopped what they were doing – all watching on curiously except McGonagall, who looked like she had just eaten a bee._

 _He jumped up on the Gryffindor table, and clapped a few more times to gather the attention of everyone in the room. Eleanor looked away from him and down to the other marauders sat a few seats down. Sirius and Peter looked positively gleeful, their eyes bright with happiness as Remus sat holding his head in his hands._ Remus doesn't approve. Great. _Eleanor thought to herself. If Remus didn't approve, it could only mean that James was about to do something completely ridiculous. When he turned and looked down at Lily, realisation set in._

" _Oh no," She whispered, risking a quick glance at Lily who, by the looks of this, had also come to the same conclusion._

" _I, James Fleamont Potter, am totally and completely, 100% in love with this girl here," He pointed at Lily, "Miss Lily Evans. And everyone should know that!" As he finished, Sirius and Peter leapt up, applauding him. Eleanor couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry. Lily was going to be impossible after this. Daring to look back at her, Eleanor found her theory correct. Lily sat, her face almost as red as her hair – the fury rolling off her in waves. She opened her mouth to say something, but the look in Lily's eyes stopped her short. Sure, her anger was directed at James, but right now she was like a bull who'd seen red. And_ red _was anyone who stood between her and James._

 _The moron in question jumped down from the table to furious pats on the back from two of his friends – a massive grin in place. Eleanor didn't speak as Lily stood up and walked over to him. Well,_ walked _might be the wrong word –_ stalked _might be better. She stalked him like he was her prey._

 _When she reached a few steps away, James turned around to face her looking totally ecstatic. As if his declaration had made her suddenly realise she was madly in love with him. Lily was silent as she stepped forwards again, pulled her arm back and smacked him straight across the face._

" _WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" She screamed as James held a hand up to his injured cheek and teachers exclaimed, "WHY ARE YOU SUCH A MASSIVE IDIOT? DO YOU EVEN THINK BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING AT ALL?" At this point Lily began slapping him wildly. Eleanor jumped forwards, wrapping her arms around Lily's waist and pulling her backwards, "LET ME GO EL! POTTER… I'M GOING TO… YOU STUPID, MORONIC, ARROGANT TOERAG!" She struggled against Eleanor but Eleanor didn't let go. With the mood Lily was in, she was worried that if she_ did _let her go, that James Potter would only have a few more minutes to live. In the back of her mind, she could hear the other students laughing as Lily continued her attack. She ducked out of the way of flailing elbows and hands as Lily struggled._

" _Miss Evans, if you could control yourself for just_ one _second." Professor McGonagall's voice was like steel. Like a bucket of cold water had just been thrown over them all, everyone stopped what they were doing immediately – even Lily. Looking up, Eleanor saw the teacher leaning over her table, a stern glare in her eyes while Dumbledore looked to be hiding a smile behind that huge beard of his. "You will go back to your dormitories at once. And when school starts again, you and Mr Potter will be joining me for a week of detention." Lily swallowed, her anger still bubbling but she clearly didn't dare question her head of house. James, however, did._

" _Oh come on! All I did was confess my undying love for her!" Eleanor shook her head._ How can you still be grinning? _The right side of his face had already come up in an angry red colour courtesy of Lily's smack but he didn't seem to be bothered by it. In fact, he looked more infatuated with her than ever before._

"Y'know, you would've thought he would've taken the hint that she doesn't like him after that smack," She continued laughing at the memory.

"James' mind doesn't work in the way that normal people's do," Remus smirked.

"Do any of your friends'?" Eleanor muttered. A flicker of confusion flashed upon his face before he burst out laughing, realization dawning.

"Sirius is also one of a kind,"

"You can say that again…" Eleanor couldn't help the warm feeling that passed over her as she thought about him, or the smile that grew on her face. She looked up and saw Remus watching her curiously. "What?"

"Nothing," He dismissed her quickly, "That's probably why people spread all of those rumours about him…" Remus mused.

Eleanor saw him give her a side eye glance, as if he was watching for her reaction. She purposely held her face straight.

"Rumours?" She asked in an indifferent voice, her eyes going back to skimming the covers of the books in front of her. _Of course_ she'd heard the rumours. Ever since he slept with Marlene Mckinnon, girls had been coming out of the wood work left and right, claiming that they too had either slept with or fooled around with the 'new Hogwarts bad boy'. Eleanor was _very_ aware of them and had Dorcas who informed her of every new addition. These rumours were the reason that whenever she was around Sirius, the time felt bittersweet. But she couldn't exactly let his best friend know that.

"Oh you know, all those girls who've decided that they've had sex with him just so they sound 'cool'?" Remus' face told her that he didn't believe her uninterested tone.

"Oh," Was the brilliant reply she could come up with. Her fingers still floating over the same three books as she tried to continue her blasé pretence.

"Yeah. It's like they don't even care that everyone knows they're all lying…" He trailed off. Eleanor's attention was spiked but she couldn't show it. Were they _all_ lying? They must be for his best friend to say it. Despite knowing the idea of her and Sirius together was completely absurd, it made her feel better that he wasn't a total man whore, especially at the grand age of 15. The irrational, 'teenage girl with a crush' side of her, for some reason, felt like Sirius was _hers_. Even though she knew his flirty, charismatic ways was just how he was, it still made her feel warm and squishy inside – like she was special. And maybe that's the reason she liked him. Her whole life, she had just wanted to be normal; to just blend in with the crowd. But that was because everyone treat her differently because of her powers. Sirius made her feel special, and he had no idea about her mutation or what she could do. As far as he was concerned, Eleanor was just a normal witch but still he made her feel like she was unique, just because she was Eleanor – not because she was a powerful mutant. She chose to diligently ignore the other side of her brain that reminded her that Sirius acted that way with everybody.

She felt Remus' eyes on her as she finally made a choice, pulling out a book called 'Underneath the Willow Tree'. She knew for a fact that Lily had never read it because she had been going on about it for weeks and how she was dying to get her hands on a copy. Eleanor smiled to herself, happy with her decision.

She hugged the book to her chest and turned back to Remus who was looking at her expectantly.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just…" He trailed off again as he stared at her.

"What?" Eleanor asked again. She felt uncomfortable under his gaze, like he was reading her.

Eventually he sighed, "Is there something going on with you and Sirius?"

Eleanor's eyes snapped up to look at his face, "What!? Where'd you get that idea?" Her voice came out at a higher pitch than she intended – and much louder. She tried to look appropriately disgusted by the idea but was pretty sure she failed.

"Woah, ok!" Remus held his hands up, "I was just asking,"

"Why were you even asking in the first place?"

"Well, y'know, I just thought you liked him…"

Eleanor put on her blank facial expression that she had perfected over the years, "But that doesn't mean anything is going on between us." Her mouth spoke before he brain could catch up. She could tell by Remus face that she might as well have flat out admitted to fancying him. _Why couldn't you just deny it?_ She felt like smacking herself in the face.

He just shrugged with a smirk.

The rest of the Hogsmeade trip flew over, as did the next week. Despite her initial worries, Eleanor was fairly sure Remus had kept his mouth shut about her crush on his best friend. There was no way Sirius' head wouldn't be totally inflated if he knew about it – _well_ , more inflated than it already was. Still, it felt slightly awkward whenever she was around him and caught Remus looking over at her with a knowing look. Plus, she still felt a little anxious for a few seconds when she walked into a room where Sirius was – as if this would be the time that he'd jump up and make some completely egotistical remark.

As Lily's birthday drew closer, Mary was still annoyed with Alice. She hadn't spoken to her about it though so Eleanor and Lily were running low on sympathy. Plus, the dirty looks and slamming doors were getting really old. By now, Alice had clocked on to the fact that Mary was annoyed with her but the two girls were too similar for their own good, meaning that she also refused to take the first step. Eleanor made sure to pull them aside the night before the big day and ask that they at least bury the hatchet for Lily's birthday. Lily wouldn't say anything but Eleanor knew how understandably upset she'd be if her birthday was overtaken by the aggravated antics that had become commonplace around their dorm room.

The sun shone through the single window of the room as Eleanor dragged herself away from her cocoon of warmth and out of bed. On their last trip to Hogsmeade, she had bought decorations to hang up around Lily's bed for when she woke up. Unfortunately, she didn't trust herself to be able to cast the spell correctly for the magical banner, which changed colours and sparkled when the charm was uttered, so she had found herself stuck in the, very limited, muggle section. _Fortunately_ , Eleanor found some cute purple banners and lots of balloons that required no magic at all to set up.

With her other dorm mates still asleep, Eleanor set to work blowing up 15 of the balloons. It was strange, she mused as she tied a knot in the seventh, for a girl who hated Christmas because of everything it represented, she had no problem celebrating her best friend's birthday to the maximum. Christmas was supposed to be celebrated with family, and that's why she disliked it so, but then… what were birthdays all about? Birthdays were, perhaps even more so, meant to be spent with family. So why did the idea of making Christmas a big deal fill her with dread, but a birthday was fine? More to the point, _when_ had birthday's become fine? Granted, this wasn't _her_ birthday, but in previous years, even Scott's birthday had forced her to retreat into her shell for the day. But here she was, stringing up balloons, hanging banners, and actually quite excited to give her best friend her birthday present.

A curtain flapped from behind her and Eleanor turned to see Dorcas rubbing her eyes as she stood up.

"Oh you started already?" Dorcas had been, as expected, completely thrilled at the idea of decorating the dorm room for Lily and immediately offered to wake up early and help. Though, evidently, waking up early had been a bit of a stretch.

"Yeah. There's a couple more bits and pieces to do then just waking up the others," Eleanor gulped in air by the lungful – blowing up balloons took more out of you than expected. Dorcas nodded as she quickly skipped over to the bathroom to freshen up as Eleanor set to work on her eighth balloon.

When everything was ready, Dorcas and Eleanor woke up the other three girls – practically shoving them out of bed in Mary's case – and impatiently waited for them to get ready. As Elsie finished off in the bathroom Eleanor looked over her handiwork. The banners were strung from each post of Lily's bed, on the walls, the dorm room door and even the ceiling. In the end, it wasn't just 15 balloons that got blown up; while waiting for Alice to finish in the bathroom, Elsie and Mary got into a heated competition of who could blow up the most – Elsie won with 16, Mary had 13 – so considering the original idea was out the window, the girls ended up just continuing to inflate balloons until everyone was ready. It was totally astounding that Lily slept through it all.

"Lil?" El whispered as she slowly peeled back the curtains and shook Lily's shoulder, "Lily wake up."

"Huh?" Lily rolled over, rubbing at her eyes. She blinked when she saw five excited faces staring back at her.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" The girls all yelled simultaneously. Eleanor grinned as Lily went from completely stunned to understanding to excitement. Her green eyes flashed around the room as she took in the beautifications – a disbelieving laugh escaping.

"Wha-? I-," Lily stopped and let out a breath, "Thank you guys!" Throwing the duvet back she launched herself up onto her knees and straight for Eleanor, wrapping her arms around her and nearly knocking her over in her hurry.

After a small celebration, Eleanor was determined to keep the happy mood, even if it was Monday morning; she had even asked Remus to try and restrain James for the day, not that he would be particularly successful. They just managed to catch the end of breakfast, which admittedly Eleanor hadn't really thought about when she decided to celebrate Lily's birthday that morning. The girls had all given her their presents, and Lily being Lily was far too considerate to just rush over the opening of gifts so it took longer than expected – especially when she started to read the book Eleanor had gotten her, refusing to put it down and get ready.

They were so late in fact, that Lily was still chewing her croissant and opening her mail as they headed to Herbology. Eleanor pretended not to watch her reaction. She knew Lily wasn't expecting a card from her sister but that a part of her still held hope. After opening her parents and grandparents cards, there was one card left. Trying desperately to look ahead and remain casual, Eleanor peeked across as Lily slowly opened the envelope.

Even though she couldn't see the writing, the frustrated sigh told her that the card wasn't from who Lily was hoping. Eleanor reached over and squeezed her friends hand supportively with a sad smile in place. Lily looked up from what turned out to be parchment and gritted her teeth.

"I'm _actually_ going to kill him." Lily thrust the parchment at Eleanor who quickly read it, letting out a sigh as she scanned over it.

 _Dear Lily,_

 _Happy birthday! I think this day should be a national holiday so everyone can celebrate that you were born. I hope you enjoy the gifts that will be making their way too you throughout this marvellous day. I spent a lot of time picking them out so I'm sure you'll love them regardless – am I right?_

 _Forever yours,_

 _James Potter._

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	15. Chapter 15

**I'm back! Here's #15! I'm trying to work out a plan for how many chapters are left for fourth year and I _think_ that chapter 20 should be the last one. I have so many ideas for this story, just have to figure out how to put them all in. **

**Thank you for your reviews! Hope you enjoy!**

 **DISCLAIMER - Anything recognisable isn't mine!**

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In the days that followed Lily's birthday, Eleanor struggled to contain her usually calm and collected red headed friend. The newly 15 year old Lily hadn't had the greatest birthday, despite her best friends attempts. Not only did James completely humiliate himself numerous times throughout the day, in his various grabs for her attention, but the evening was also ruined by an arguing Mary and Alice – even though they'd both previously agreed to be civil. While Eleanor was pleased that Mary had finally plucked up the courage to say something to her friend, she definitely hadn't picked the best day for it. In fact, the argument only ended when the other girls had stepped in. It was clear how much the conflict was upsetting Lily – not that she would ever say it.

Eleanor was certain that this was part of the reasoning behind why Lily had had such a reaction to James. He was the only person that she could take her frustrations out on without feeling tremendously guilty as it never seemed to bother him. She would never want to upset or make her friends feel bad, so yelling at James became almost a stress relief for her. It did help the fact that she actually _was_ annoyed at James also.

Two weeks had passed and Mary and Alice still hadn't spoken – both of them as stubborn as the other. As time was going on it became increasingly awkward to be in the dorm room – or any room for that matter – when they were both there; even Dorcas' usually annoyingly positive mood was faltering. It was lucky that Eleanor had her room to sneak away too, and was often joined by Lily, where they could do their work in peace and relax away from the uncomfortable atmosphere. It had become a sanctuary of sorts. And in some way, it had begun to have the same effect on Lily as it did on Eleanor – as soon as she stepped through the doorway, tension left her body.

As Eleanor sat down, waiting for the rest of the class to arrive, she thought back to the argument that started it all.

 _Eleanor grinned as she looked over at Lily who was in tears with laughter - after her particularly rubbish birthday Eleanor was desperate to take her mind off of it. All of the girls were lay on their beds gossiping. It was so fun to just be a normal teenage girl. Not a mutant. Not a witch. But normal. And as would be expected from normal teenage girls, the conversation soon turned to boys. With the exception of James Potter of course._

" _Oh come on Els, you have to at least think_ someone _is cute!" Lily sniggered at Elsie's flustered face._

" _I-, I'm just not attracted to anyone," Elsie couldn't get any more red as she playfully threw one of her pillows at Lily's head._

" _You do want a boyfriend though right?" Alice asked, "I mean it's just so amazing-"_

" _Oh here we go…" Mary muttered loudly, interrupting the daydreaming girl._

" _Excuse me?"_

" _Nothing, nothing. Go on, we're all_ dying _to hear about Frank again." The fun in the room was sucked out in the one sentence. Eleanor tensed instantly as Alice bristled, sitting up and squaring her shoulders. But surely they wouldn't start fighting on Lily's birthday? Especially after the rest of the day had been a disaster thanks to Potter._

" _What's that supposed to mean?" Alice snapped._

" _Guys…" Elsie trailed off, trying to prevent the screaming match before it began._

" _It means that I'm sick of hearing about bloody Frank! 'Perfect' Frank! 'Amazing' Frank! 'Oh my god guys you'll never just guess what Frank said to me' Frank!" Eleanor and Lily jumped off their beds and the two girls stood and headed towards each other. Eleanor shooting in front of Mary, while Lily leapt in front of Alice._

" _Sounds to me like somebody's jealous…" Alice smirked smugly and Eleanor saw the moment Mary's switch flipped. She was nearly knocked over backwards as Mary launched herself in her ex-friends direction. She took a knuckle to the eye as the irate girl tried to climb her in an attempt to claw at Alice._

" _JEALOUS? JEALOUS OF WHAT?! YOU'RE PATHETIC BOYFRIEND THAT'S PROBABLY ONLY WITH YOU BECAUSE HE FEELS SORRY FOR YOU?! I'M SORRY, BUT I DON'T THINK THAT'S ANYTHING TO BE PROUD OF!"_

" _DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT FRANK LIKE THAT YOU ENVIOUS LITTLE TWIT! HOW DARE YOU?!"_

 _Out of the corner of her eye, Eleanor saw Elsie and Dorcas had bounded over and were trying to help calm the situation – and failing._

"' _HOW DARE I?!' I DARE BECAUSE ITS OBVIOUS EVEN TO A BLIND MAN! YOU'RE SO DESPERATE IT PITIFUL!"_

" _I'M NOT THE PITIFUL ONE! IT'S NOT ME WHO CAN'T HANDLE BEING ON HER OWN NOW THAT HER FRIEND'S GOT OTHER PRIORITIES!" Eleanor felt Mary tense slightly as Alice hit the nail on the head. She could hear Lily behind her trying to calm Alice but nothing was working._

" _NONE OF MY_ FRIENDS _HAVE A BOYFRIEND! YOU'RE NOT FRIEND OF MINE, YOU- YOU BITCH!"_

 _She needed to defuse the room._ She _needed to calm down. Time was ticking since the last time she really let her powers go and they were dying to be free. But it was more than that. She was angry._

" _WELL THAT'S FINE BY ME! DON'T YOU EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!"_

 _Angry because her best friend undoubtedly didn't have a great day and her so called friends were too busy thinking of themselves to notice the sad look on her face._

" _GLADLY! DON'T YOU COME RUNNING TO ME WHEN FRANK LEAVES YOU BECAUSE HE REALISES HOW SAD YOU REALLY ARE!"_

 _Friends were supposed to care about each other. They were supposed to have your back - not stab you in it._

" _OH IT'S SWEET THAT YOU WORRY BUT FRANK WILL NEVER LEAVE ME! UNLIKE YOU, I CAN ACTUALLY KEEP PEOPLE INTERESTED IN ME!"_

 _Best friends arguing was never a good thing. Each side knew the others weakest links, their biggest insecurities. They knew where to jab the knife so that it would hurt the most. And that's exactly what Mary and Alice were doing._

" _GUYS STOP IT!" Eleanor yelled so loud she was sure the rest of Hogwarts must have heard her, but how else was she supposed to be heard over the screaming currently taking place. Silence crept over the room for a few moments, the building tension sufficiently broken. "Mary! No!" She continued when Mary still threw herself forwards like a deranged animal. Sighing deeply, Eleanor seriously considered just stepping aside and allowing the two to fight it out. It might tire them out and then the others would be able to get some sleep after all. But even if she was annoyed at them, they were both still her friends and she didn't want them to get hurt. "Come on Mar, walk it off," She pushed at Mary's shoulders with all her might and finally got her shifting backwards, away from the storm._

"What's up buttercup?" Eleanor smiled unconsciously, recognising the voice as Sirius sat down next to her. "Those are some deep thoughts you're having there." As usual he was late, and purposely scraping his seat across the floor only further announced his presence – he simply grinned boyishly at Professor Mailer when he was thrown a disapproving glare.

"It might surprise you but some people do have deep thoughts."

Sirius scrunched up his face as if he'd tasted something bad, "Ugh, no thanks." Eleanor exhaled a small laugh and turned back to the lesson as he settled in. As always, she could feel his eyes on her as she worked silently – as if lasers were trailing all over her face. Her ability to concentrate was being pushed to the limit but she kept her cool and continued to look ahead. The effect he had on her was ridiculous.

"You want to share them?" Sirius said after a few minutes.

"Share what?" Eleanor nonchalantly dipped her quill in her ink.

"Your hopes and dreams." He replied dryly, and when Eleanor turned to look at him, his expression matched his tone. She sighed softly.

"I was just thinking about Mary and Alice,"

Sirius nodded understandingly, "Ah… That's still going on? Why don't they just go into the common room and go nuts? We could set up a ring with strings like I saw in that muggle magazine! Or just lock them in a room together? We'd give them gloves and then they just punch each other until one of them gives up…" Eleanor laughed loudly, as his voice raised in excitement, earning them a shush from Professor Mailer as he walked by. She immediately silenced and flashed her eyes back to her work while Sirius saluted.

"It's called boxing; and at this point, I don't even think that's a bad idea," She whispered when the Professor was out of hearing range. Sirius' eyes lit up at the prospect, " _But no_ , let's not do that," He frowned, "…at least not yet."

The rest of the lesson flew by and before she knew it, lunch had arrived. Arguably Sirius' favourite time of the day, he nagged her constantly to hurry up as they headed out of Muggle Studies and toward the great hall. So, of course, she walked slower.

"Have you seen Mary?" Lily asked as Eleanor split from Sirius and headed over to her.

"Hello to you too,"

"Hey. Now, have you seen Mary?"

"No, why?" Lily didn't reply, she simply pointed over to the Ravenclaw table. Eleanor looked around for a second before her eyes focused on a tie that stood out from the sea of blue – a _red_ tie. "What…?" She muttered to herself as she recognised Mary sat with Dee Hargreaves. She turned to Lily with a questioning look. Lily just raised her eyebrows and shrugged. "This is so stupid! They're just going to throw years of friendship away over one argument? …No, I can't talk about this anymore, I've had my quota of the 'Mary/Alice' drama today."

"You're telling me…" Lily mused as she picked at her plate.

"They're just being complete babies about it. I don't know what else we can do," Eleanor almost growled. She couldn't wrap her head around why two best friends would abandon what they had over something so silly. She wanted to help them, but how was she supposed to do that? It was like talking to a brick wall any time the situation was brought up to either of them. Eleanor knew that chances were that the only thing she would accomplish would be being shouted at and not much else – but that didn't mean she was happy about it.

Lily took a deep breath and sighed. "Anyway… I noticed you and Sirius have been getting _real_ friendly lately,"

Eleanor rolled her eyes as Lily winked, unconsciously glancing down the table to where Sirius was sat with the other marauders. Almost as if she had called his name, his head shot up in her direction. Eleanor flushed at being caught looking at him but he just brushed his dark hair away from his face and smiled. She smiled awkwardly back before turning back to Lily who sat with a knowing look on her face.

"Oh shut up." Eleanor pushed her playfully.

"Come on! It wasn't _that_ long ago that you decided that you had to stay away from him and now you _can't_ stay away from him!"

"I can too stay away from him!"

"Ok, maybe that was an exaggeration but still…" Lily trailed off meaningfully.

Eleanor sighed thoughtfully, "I don't know. We're friends I guess,"

"But you wish it was more," Lily finished her sentence.

Once again, her eyes flashed down to where Sirius was sat. Luckily, he didn't react and she was able to watch him carefully as she thought. Did she want more? Her immediate answer was no. How could she ever have more? How could she ever let anyone in so close that it would be possible? Even Lily, her best friend, didn't know about her family and her life over the past few years. She was fairly sure that Lily had picked up on the fact that she didn't like to talk about her family and purposely avoided the subject – she was too clever not too.

As she looked down at the boy, her chest tightened as he threw his head back laughing. He was always laughing. Always happy. Or at least that's what he feigned. There was a darkness in him. It was as clear as day, at least to Eleanor. Sirius Black had led a complicated life so far. With what she knew about his family, Eleanor felt slightly akin to him. He was all alone. Sure, he had James, Remus and Peter, but he had no family – or at least none he was close too. Even though he never spoke about them, Sirius was too _good_ to see eye to eye with people so callous – not to mention rebellious. It was the same as Eleanor's relationship with the professor, Raven and, now, Lily; she had people in her life who were as good as family – but that didn't change the fact that they weren't.

So yes, she felt a kinship with him, but a relationship? Sirius didn't seem the type to settle down, given his blatant disregard for anything conventional. Her fist clenched with jealousy as she automatically imagined him with other girls. But that didn't mean she wanted anything more with him, did it?

"El?" Lily snapped her out of her thoughts. She turned to her friend with a questioning look until she realised she hadn't answered her question.

"I don't know," She said honestly.

"Maybe you should think about it? I mean… I just don't want you to get hurt," Lily shrugged apologetically. For the third time, Eleanor looked down towards the marauders but was stumped when she found Sirius already watching her. Their eyes met briefly before he quickly looked down and turned back to his friends.

A few hours passed and the school day ended, but Eleanor was still thinking about her conversation with Lily at lunch. Even a visit to her room hadn't done much to calm her mind. It was nice, in a backwards sort of way, to have 'normal' jitters instead of agitations because of her mutation. Despite bittersweetly enjoying the sensations, eventually though, she gave up in the room and headed back to the Gryffindor common room where she sat on one of the sofas, Lily on the chair to the right, getting a head start on their assignments, and her brain just couldn't focus. Well, technically it could focus, but only on one thing in particular. Her entire afternoon's worth of thinking had brought her to the conclusion that it didn't matter whether she did or didn't want to be in a relationship with Sirius, because he only saw her as a friend, and therefore she didn't have to admit that her already more than friendly feelings towards him were growing rapidly.

Eleanor was so wrapped up in her own mind that she almost missed the typically loudly entrance of the marauders. _Almost._ Three of the boys entered, laughing loudly, bouncing off of each other as they made their way into the centre of the room. James, of course, noticed Lily straight away and strutted over without a second thought. He flung himself on the floor messily next to her feet, ignoring the grunt of disgust she let out. Remus rolled his eyes, joining Eleanor on the sofa, a polite distance between them – Peter sat down on the other side of him.

"So, Lily, how's your day been?" James asked happily. Eleanor concentrated on his words heavily, and _definitely not_ on the fact that Sirius was missing. But still, she couldn't help glancing at the doorway quickly.

Apparently, it wasn't fast enough as Remus saw and nudged her leg, "He's on his way." Eleanor scrunched her eyebrows together, doing her best 'quizzical' expression – it didn't work. They both knew that she was well aware of who he was talking about.

Some part of her mind could hear James having a one sided conversation as Lily did her best to ignore him; something that she knew wouldn't last very much longer if he wasn't careful.

"Now, be honest, which of your presents was your favourite? And don't feel the need to spare my blushes." James grinned. Eleanor winced as she saw the tightrope that he was walking, become even thinner. She looked over at Lily. The red head's skin was glowing with anger as she glared at the book in her hands. Eleanor knew what she was remembering. James' presents to her on her birthday had been increasingly ridiculous as the day went on, to the point, that after dinner, Lily locked herself away in the dorm to get away from him before she did something that would probably get her expelled – or arrested.

" _Lily! Lily!" Peter ran down the corridor, his breath coming out in sharp bursts. "Lily!" He yelled again and finally grabbed her attention, "McGonagall wants to see you in the court yard," He explained when he caught up to Lily and Eleanor._

" _Did she say why?"_

" _Uh, no. Just that she wanted to see you," He muttered before quickly scampering off. Lily looked at Eleanor in confusion. They had just seen McGonagall on her way to her office._

" _If this is another of his stupid so called 'presents', he's actually dead this time," Lily growled as they headed to the court yard. Eleanor smiled to herself softly, it was becoming a recurring theme for Lily to threaten James' life._

 _When the girls reached the open area, Eleanor was 100% certain that this was the next on a long list of 'ways to get Lily's attention' by James Potter. While she was sure Lily must've come to the same conclusion, she was surprised when the red head stormed straight ahead instead of the opposite direction. A large crowd stood in the square, with students parting to make a path way to the centre. Eleanor followed a few steps behind as Lily held her head high, her strides never faltering, when she was handed object after object. Eleanor peaked over her shoulder and groaned when she saw what she'd been given._ She might actually kill him this time. _Her arms were piled high with Gryffindor quidditch memorabilia. She had hats, scarfs and even a red and gold over cloak, but the last one was the straw that broke the camels back._

 _A very nervous looking first year stepped in Lily's track holding out a broom. The poor boy had his eyes glued to the floor as she took it off him, before he shot off back into the safety of the crowd who parted fully, revealing the four marauders stood waiting. James eyes lit up as he saw Lily heading over. Behind him, Eleanor could see the other three practically crying with silent laughter – at least someone realised how bad of an idea this was. She shook her head but couldn't help a small smile when Sirius caught her eye. When she looked back at James, Eleanor realised he also held a broom and was wearing his quidditch robes._

 _Lily continued on her mission, only stopping when she was within arms reach of James; who had never looked more excited. Without a word, she picked up the broom into both of her hands, lifting her knee up to the centre and snapping it sharply in half. The other three marauders burst out in loud guffaws as James' face fell._

 _Quickly throwing the rest of her 'gifts' to the floor, Lily span on her heal and stomped back in the direction they had come._

"INCOMING!" Sirius yelled moments before a heavy weight landed on top of Eleanor and Remus. She squeaked in surprised as a mess of black hair head butted her shoulder, "OW! You guys aren't particularly comfortable, do you know that?" He groaned as he pulled himself up and squashed in the small gap between them.

Remus shoved at him roughly, "Well stop bloody lying on us!" Eleanor had no doubts that this wasn't the first time Sirius had launched himself on someone.

"I mean, it wouldn't be so bad if you put some fat on, but you're both just bones! I should've jumped on Peter," He continued, totally ignoring his friend, as Peter blushed furiously.

"Are you quite finished?" Eleanor asked.

Sirius looked thoughtful for a second before replying, "I think so, yes."

"Good, because your fat arse is still squashing my foot,"

Sirius gasped in disgust as the others laughed, "Excuse me! I think you'll find my arse is perfectly peachy!" Eleanor groaned as he intentionally wiggled, crushing her foot even more.

"Get off, you massive lump!" She laughed, pushing at his shoulder which only had the opposite effect. He threw his body back down on top of her dramatically, becoming a dead weight with the back of his hand laying across his forehead.

"I can't, I'm _exhausted_ …" Even Lily cracked a smile as Eleanor continued to push at the now limp Sirius who was draped across her. Her mind ran back to the conversation she'd had at lunch and her heart skipped slightly at the thought. _I'm in trouble._ Her inner monologue groaned as she struggled to contain her girlish giggles.

"Sirius…" She stuttered out to no avail. Why did he have to be so… so… _Sirius?_ Everything about him drew her in like a moth to a flame. He lolled his head back to rest on her shoulder and her breath caught as she took in his appearance. His long hair fell in front of his eyes, but as bright as they were, Eleanor could still see them through the dark strands. Shining intensely, the grey orbs stared up at her. She was caught by the force behind them but quickly looked down, blushing softly.

Their playful argument was abruptly disturbed by the slamming of the portrait to the common room, and suddenly, Eleanor remembered that there were, in fact, other people in the room with them. She jumped up in surprise, knocking the unprepared Sirius to the floor with an 'umph', as she rose. Her red cheeks were obscured from the rest of the room by Mary's loud entrance. All heads turned in the direction of the noise and were met with a flash of blonde hair storming straight past them towards the girl's dorm staircase. Eleanor and Lily both sighed. They had been putting up with this type of behaviour for weeks and both knew it meant that Mary and Alice had more than likely had a run-in.

Eleanor looked back at Lily who bore the same expression. It was becoming a pathetic joke how often this type of thing was happening. And also frustrating.

In her peripheral vision, she could see the marauders – along with the rest of the room – sharing confused looks. She raised an eyebrow at Lily who nodded in reply and stood up before heading straight over towards the staircase with a smile sent to Remus. Eleanor rubbed her face in exasperation as she followed Lily with her eyes.

"I guess we'll see you guys tomorrow," She said, trying to hide her dejected tone, turning back to the four boys. A hand wound its way into hers and squeezed lightly. She smiled softly as she looked down at Sirius, who was still sat on the floor, reaching up to wrap his fingers around hers. "Good night."

Eleanor went to pull away but Sirius' grip on her hand tightened. When she looked back at him, she found him looking uncharacteristically sombre. His eyebrows clenched together ever so slightly but she knew what he meant.

"It's fine. Good night," She repeated, successfully reclaiming her hand. A chorus of 'night's followed her as she headed up to her dorm.

By the time she reached outside the door, Eleanor expected to be able to hear Mary's angry cries and Lily's soothing tones as she attempted to calm her but surprisingly was met by silence. Slowing opening the door, she held her breath as her eyes scanned the room for the tell tales signs of an angry Mary but, again, was surprised when she found none. The curtains around Mary's bed were pulled to a close and, judging by the complete lack of noise, she had placed a silencing spell over it.

"She says she doesn't want to talk about it," Eleanor jumped a little when Lily spoke up from behind her, "Again…" She scoffed and threw her hands up in the air as the red head stood next to her. Every part of her craved to go over, rip those curtains open and demand that she talked to them. To tell her that being angry at the world would get her nowhere. But Lily's hand on her arm held her back, "Don't El… Maybe we should just let them get on with it now. Clearly nothing we say is making a difference…"

She quickly mulled it over in her head. On one hand, she could ignore Lily and charge over as she had originally intended, but that would, probably, mean getting into yet another _heated_ discussion with an already pissed off Mary. And god knew where Alice was, meaning that she could walk in at any minute, making the situation ten times worse. Her decision was made instantly. In the past two weeks variations of that scenario had played out almost daily; it was exhausting.

Against her better judgment, Eleanor listened to her best friend, "Promise me that'll never be us?"

Lily smiled and held up her little finger, grinning wider when Eleanor breathed out a small laugh and wrapped her own around it.

Eleanor woke early the next morning with baited breath, but looking across the room, she found that neither Mary nor Alice had awoken yet. Her only company was Dorcas who regularly got up at this hour so she was able to perfect her look for the day. Over the months, Eleanor had tried multiple times to copy her routine but the end result never came close to Dorcas' – not only was she strikingly beautiful without the make-up and hair products, but she was also particularly skilled at beautifying charms. It was perfect really, considering her dream was to open a salon after graduation. Only, this morning, Dorcas didn't look like her usual perky self. Her skin was pale and drawn and purple bags hung under her eyes.

"Hey, are you ok?" Eleanor whispered as she leaned against the bathroom doorframe, watching as Dorcas waved her wand in the mirror.

Dorcas turned and smiled, "Yeah, I just didn't get much sleep last night… y'know," She gestured in the direction of Mary and Alice. Eleanor sighed.

A few hours after Mary had charged up to the dorm and locked herself away in her bed, Alice had arrived. Of course, this would be perfectly in time with Mary escaping her self-contained prison to go to the bathroom and so the argument started again. Even though Eleanor was almost 100% sure neither of them could remember why they were fighting in the first place, the yelling went on and on into the night.

"Anyway, I told Elsie I'd wake her up early so we could get out before those two start up again," She continued as she squeezed past Eleanor and headed over to Elsie's bed. _That's not a bad idea._ Eleanor mused to herself. Lily would undoubtedly want to throttle her at first for waking her so early, but once she explained? There was a pretty good chance Lily would understand. _Ish._

Lily didn't understand.

At least not for a while. By the time she had pulled herself together and was almost ready, Mary and Alice were awake and beginning the day with their usual snide remarks. Eleanor tried not to look smug as Lily hastily rushed her out of the dorm.

Breakfast was an abnormally quiet affair. Four of the Gryffindor girls sat together awaiting the arrival of either of their dormmates but they never showed. Eleanor was starting to develop a nervous tick of looking at the entrance way but nothing happened. Lily then had the idea that maybe Mary was sat with the Ravenclaws again and Alice with Frank, but nope.

The minutes ticked by and still no sign of them.

The doors opened again revealing the marauders. The four boys looked far too happy for this time on a morning – and considering that they'd missed most of breakfast. Sirius caught Eleanor's eye and winked. Just before they took their seats, she called him over.

"Sirius!" His head shot up as she waved her hand over to him. His shit-eating grin was so firmly in place that not only did it make Eleanor immediately suspicious – but also gave her butterflies. When he reached them, she continued, "You guys haven't by any chance seen Mary or Alice this morning right?"

"Yeah, we saw them in the north corridor," James perked up and Eleanor realised for the first time that he had followed his friend over. And was unfortunately wearing a similar smirk.

"The north corridor?" Elsie repeated confused.

"Yep," Sirius nodded happily.

"And they were together?" Dorcas asked.

James nodded back at her.

"And they're both still alive?" Elsie joked with a nervous laugh.

Sirius winced slightly and turned to James, "Y'know, we should probably go and check on them soon."

James just laughed.

Lily narrowed her eyes, "What?" Sirius rubbed his hands together nervously as James ran a hand through his hair, "What've you done?"

"Well…" James started.

"Hey, El? Remember that completely amazing idea I had in Muggle Studies yesterday?" Sirius continued.

Eleanor scrunched her eyebrows together as she thought about it until realization struck her.

"You didn't?!"

" _No!_ No, no, no!" And just as Eleanor calmed down, he added, "We didn't give them the gloves."

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 **Review? :)**


	16. Chapter 16

So sorry for the huge delay! Real life has been crazy and I haven't had a lot of time to write unfortunately. Thank you so much for your super kind reviews also, they really help with motivation and inspiration! Also, anyone who has favourited and/or followed this story - thank you!

Anyway, without further ado - enjoy chapter 16!

 **DISCLAIMER - ANYTHING RECOGNISABLE ISN'T MINE!**

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Waking up on your birthday is supposed to be something that fills you with joy. Something that excites you. Something that you have been counting down too for weeks. And in all honesty, for Eleanor, it was none of those things – the past weeks had been so distracting that she had practically forgotten all about it. A few days had passed since the incident with the marauders, an empty classroom and Mary and Alice, and it was now Eleanor's 15th birthday.

Said birthday girl rolled over in her bed, sighing as the day began. As she did every year, she expected to feel different – older – but, as she found every year, she didn't. It was just another day. Even more so seeing as though no one at Hogwarts knew it was her birthday; not even Lily. She hadn't really saw the point in telling anyone. It wasn't like she wanted to commemorate the day in any way, shape or form - and that was easier done when nobody knew that there was anything different about the day.

Eleanor brushed her hair out of her face as her mind inevitably ran to the fact that her family wasn't here to celebrate it with her. 15 was yet another age that they would never know her at. The feeling of heartbreak shot throughout her followed by an immediate surge of guilt – she had gone a while without thinking of her family. In fact, it had been the longest time since they passed that she had gone. Did that make her a bad daughter? A bad sister? Or just one that was forced to keep living without her family? Eleanor didn't know and it was way too early to think about it.

One thing that cheered her up though, was the knowledge that the professor would be 'calling' her sometime today. It had been weeks since she'd last heard from him and he had assured her that he would speak to her on her birthday. So maybe today wasn't all bad. Sure, she had new friends and activities to keep her busy here at Hogwarts, but she still missed the professor's school. Discovering and learning about her magical side had been incredible so far, but upstate New York had been her home for years – she couldn't just forget about it.

Another thing, that was almost a present from above as far as Eleanor was concerned, was that Mary and Alice were once again on speaking terms. _Well_ … almost _speaking terms._ She corrected herself. There were no more screaming matches, nor were there fist fights, but that didn't necessarily mean that they were _friendly_. It was more like they simply tolerated each other in the few moments they saw one another – Mary still hung out with the Ravenclaws and Alice was still with Frank a lot - but hey, Eleanor was sure she spoke for the entire dorm when she said they'd take it. After _that_ morning at breakfast, the girls had rushed up to the north corridor to find what they suspected would be the remains of their dormmates – turns out the marauders anticipated this reaction and lied about which cupboard they were stuffed in. With minutes until their first class, the four girls had a quick discussion – technically it was more Eleanor, Dorcas and Elsie trying to persuade Lily to not go to a teacher about it but whatever – and it ended with them agreeing to go to the marauders at the latest at lunch time to get Mary and Alice out. Turns out, those couple hours locked away had done them good and they had come to a truce of some kind. But everyone knew, it was going to take a lot longer for them to become as close as they were before – if they ever would.

After a late lie in with her thoughts, Eleanor had to rush getting ready and only managed a quick bite before she ran off to Transfiguration.

Lily sighed frustrated beside her as Professor McGonagall gave out tasks for the lesson.

"What's wrong?" It was a stupid question really, Eleanor knew how much Lily hated transfiguration. She wasn't particularly great at the subject and it only annoyed her further that James was effortlessly brilliant at it. In all fairness though, she wasn't the only person in class frustrated by James' ability to pick it up so quickly, especially when everyone else worked hard and he goofed off for most of the lesson with Sirius.

"Nothing, nothing, I just need to get this right," Lily brushed her off, her green eyes never straying from her work. Eleanor on the other hand allowed her eyes to wander as she successfully turned her pottery into a lampshade on the second attempt. She smiled as she watched McGonagall go over to the Hufflepuff side of the classroom and inspected Francis' work; she guessed it was perfect when he got as near to a smile as anyone ever gets from the transfiguration professor. As McGonagall went over to the next table, Eleanor watched as Francis' eyes glanced over to the Gryffindor side of the room, taking a second look when he saw she was already looking over at him. He raised his eyebrows towards the transfigured lampshade in front of her with an impressed smile. Her cheeks warmed as she mouthed her thanks.

" _Flirting_ are we, Douglas?" Sirius whispered from his seat behind her, disrupting a long overdue catch up between friends before it even began. She rolled her eyes and turned to see, irritatingly, that he had also completed his task correctly. _Did he really have to be smart too?_

His freakishly gorgeous smirk had her so flustered that "Shut up," and a nervous laugh was her brilliant response.

Sirius let out a sharp laugh, "I'll take that as a yes."

Eleanor groaned inwardly. She wished she was one of those girls she'd read about in books – always ready to come back with a witty retort. _Lily's like that,_ she mused thoughtfully. Lily always had a reply to James' often stupid remarks that would or, more than likely, _should_ , shut him up. But one look at Sirius' ridiculous face and all sense left her, and it was only getting worse. _Maybe if I just don't look at him?_ _Oh my god Eleanor you have a real problem._

After what was probably too long, she finally came up with, "Don't try to be clever Sirius, it's not really your style."

Apparently it was decent enough as it earned an 'OOOOOH' from James, Remus and Peter – and a slightly shocked smile from the grey eyed boy.

Eleanor did manage to catch up with Francis that day. After classes ended and Lily had wandered off to spend some time with Severus – who had decided she'd been neglecting him recently – she found herself in the library on her own when he came in with a couple friends. It was nice to see him properly again. Of course, she saw him in lessons but she never really _saw_ him. As they talked, she couldn't help but notice how much more confident in himself he was. _Coming out of the closet will do that to a guy I guess._ It was as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders and in return he held himself higher with a newfound brightness in his eyes. Afterwards, Eleanor left the library and headed to the Gryffindor common room with a huge smile on her face – seeing the positive changes in her friend was like an unknowing birthday present.

Later that night as she lay in bed, Eleanor felt a presence in her mind, followed shortly by a familiar voice, " _Eleanor_?"

She grinned automatically, " _Professor! It's so good to hear from you!_ "

" _Happy birthday! Have you had a good day? Raven and Scott want to wish you a happy birthday as well. We do wish you would have let us send you presents,_ " As usual, instead of using words, Eleanor simply showed the professor her memories of the day, waiting patiently as he watched them. After a few moments she heard him sigh. She knew at once what he must've seen – that she hadn't told anyone about her birthday. But she didn't want too, and it was her birthday so she was allowed to do what she wanted, right? " _I understand your reasoning, but you have friends by the dozen by the looks of things, surely some part of you wants to celebrate with them?_ "

Eleanor thought about this for a few seconds, absentmindedly picking at a loose thread on her bed cover. _Did she?_ Maybe a part of her did, but the larger majority wanted to keep them at arm's length. She was in her sixth month at Hogwarts and she still hadn't _really_ let her grip loosen on her fears. They were well founded fears if you asked her, but fears nonetheless. She just couldn't lose anyone else. Even at Xavier's, Scott and the other students had no idea about her family situation – the professor just made up a simple excuse for her sudden return trip to Britain and of course everyone believed him because why would he lie? She had known him for way longer and still didn't feel comfortable truly letting him in, so why did a part of her want to do that with her friends here? Namely Lily? Instinctively, her imagination ran wild as she remembered all of the cliché tv shows she used to watch that had girl so close they were like sisters. She wanted that. But for more than one reason she was scared. Disrespecting Elizabeth was high on the list.

Her silence was enough of an answer as the professor continued, " _Anyway, how are things with Mr Black?"_ It was almost as if a cold bucket of water had been thrown over her the way her thoughts snapped away. She groaned audibly at the idea of having this conversation _again_ with him.

" _Do we_ have _to talk about him?_ " She felt him laugh in her mind.

" _No, I suppose not,"_ He chuckled _, "So… how have you been for the past few weeks then? Tell me everything."_

That sentence was the beginning of a very long night. Gone were the times when the professor respected the hour she had to wake up at, no, apparently it was a whole new ball game at 15.

After Eleanor managed to sneak through her birthday with no one finding out, the days began to fly by and before she knew it another week had passed and the entire school was gearing up for the first Quidditch game of the new year. It was Gryffindor vs Slytherin which was bad enough, but the marauders had taken to purposely aggravating the Slytherin team. From kidnapping their brooms when they were supposed to be practicing to transfiguring their green robes scarlet and gold – nothing was off limits. It wasn't as if the Slytherin's took it lying down, no they fought back defiantly but it still caused for more detention time than usual if that was possible, something which made James very angry – he wanted to practice every spare hour he had. Seeing a serious James Potter was a rare occurrence, but bring up Quidditch and the possibility of losing? Especially to Slytherin? He was a regular, straight-laced student. _Sirius on the other hand…_ Well, Sirius held onto his usual air of confidence no matter how little last-minute practices they were able to attend.

Sitting in the stands with Lily and Dorcas, Eleanor felt the excitement begin to build even more. They had dressed in traditional Gryffindor supportive colours, despite Lily's arguments. The game was due to start twenty-five minutes ago but apparently the Slytherin seeker had mysteriously disappeared. It wasn't particularly difficult to figure out what happened to him – especially when you saw the smug smirk shared between Sirius and James.

As the commentator piped up, fourteen players sat floating in mid-air, semi-listening as Madam Hooch gave a short lecture to them. No doubt reminded them all to play nice with each other – _yep, Gryffindors and Slytherins playing nice… sure._

"GO ELSIE!" Dorcas screamed as the game began. The players all shot forwards, flying around in different directions. From her limited quidditch knowledge that Sirius had insisted she learn, Eleanor recognised the Gryffindor seeker, Tommy Cohen, and the Slytherin seeker fly up and sit above the match, their eyes searching for the golden snitch, while the rest of the players wrestled around below.

She tuned out the excited yelling of the commentator and tried to focus on the game without the incessant rambling. It was hard enough to concentrate with all of the distractions that red and green blurs provided as they flew passed, she didn't need another one.

Her eyes, as usual, zoned in on Sirius. He blasted around on his broom, laughing maniacally as he repeated hit the balls she had learned were called bludgers. It was only when one of the crazed objects swooped a little too close to James that she saw that he had the third and final ball, the quaffle, tucked tightly under his arm. Slytherin player after Slytherin player charged at him repeatedly as he neared the goal. Even Lily winced as a well-aimed bludger crashed into his side just as he began to lift his arm to throw the ball. His broom spun around wildly but his well-honed reflexes meant he was able to quickly correct himself and get back on course, his true Gryffindor colours only allowing a small grimace of pain to quickly slide across his face. Back on course, James pushed his broom even faster toward the three hoops.

Unconsciously, Eleanor started to lean forward, then she was standing, then she was leaning against the railing – the rest of her fellow Gryffindors packed tightly behind her. Murmurs of excitement whispered around her as James flew closer and closer, neatly dodging the second bludger sent his way before Sirius knocked away the third. Murmurs turned to yelling as he drew his arm back before letting the quaffle sail straight past the Slytherin keeper and through the middle hoop.

Eleanor screamed in delight, jumping up and down as she turned to Lily who was trying to down play her excitement. She grabbed her hand and shook it rampageously in her delight. She could no longer hold her thrilled laugh in and a huge grin spread out on her face – obviously deciding to ignore the fact that it was James that gained their lead. Luckily, Lily wasn't watching when he did his celebratory backflip.

Despite the enthusiastic start, Eleanor was quickly reminded of why she previously decided she didn't like Quidditch. It wasn't long before injuries began to occur left, right and centre. By the thirty minute mark, she had spent more time with her eyes closed than open. The Slytherins were more than making up for the hard time the marauders had been giving them. Unsurprisingly, they weren't keeping their frustrations concentrated on James and Sirius either and all of the Gryffindor players were battered and bruised. It was a good job, Eleanor thought, that the Gryffindor colours were already red – the blood stains wouldn't show up as much – and that didn't even take into consideration the broken bones. Even from her spot in the stands, she could clearly see three of Hayden Thirlward's fingers were snapped back in an ugly position; and the chaser was one of the lucky ones.

She grimaced as Damien Krew, one of the Slytherin beaters, 'accidentally' flew too close and crashed straight into Sirius. Sirius, however, didn't seem to feel the pain, by look on his face, he just felt anger. He heatedly wiped at the trail of blood running down his face from an earlier bludger and curled his lip in a snarl as Krew twisted his face into an ugly smirk and flew off.

"Uh oh," Eleanor muttered.

"What's happened now?" Lily groaned, her eyes flashing around the field for the next problem.

"I think Krew just used up the last of Sirius' patience," Eleanor pointed over to where Sirius was now flying around furiously, hitting the bludgers away harder than she'd ever seen. It was like watching an entirely different person from the Sirius she had come to know and… _like_ , she corrected herself. "This isn't going to end well."

Twenty minutes later, the Gryffindors were all but spent, however, by now, so were the Slytherins. _Lions never back down from a fight_ , or so Sirius had told her and he was definitely being proved right. Penalties were being given out every few minutes as the illegal moves were becoming more and more common; but they never served as a deterrent, instead they only goaded the other team even more.

"Woo!" Dorcas squealed in encouragement as Elsie made a particularly brilliant save. Like the others, she wasn't without injury – after taking a bludger to the leg, the girls all noticed the way she was instinctively holding it more protectively. Turning to the others, Dorcas lowered her tone and whispered, "They have to end this soon! They're not even playing any more, they're just trying to hit each other! I mean, look at my nails! I don't even have any left anymore!"

Eleanor flinched as Marty Porkin and Archie Nott appeared on both sides of James as he headed back to the Slytherin hoops. James was one of the only players still abiding by the rules but his determined scowl showed he was just as aggravated as his fellow team mates. Perhaps, not as aggravated as Sirius though, who by now was completely raging. She could hear the commentator yell out happily that James had just scored another goal for Gryffindor, bringing the score up to 90-60 to the lions – but her attention was taken by the furious Black boy. It didn't help matters that Krew was purposefully annoying him, or the fact that Sirius was a 'shoot first, ask questions later' kind of guy.

Eleanor held her breath as Sirius was once again 'accidentally' hit by Krew's bat when he went to swing it. He smacked his hand down on the tip of his broom irately, quickly spinning around to trail after. It was clear there was only one thing on his mind and it wasn't quidditch.

"Oh finally…" Lily muttered as the crowd cheered. It was only then that Eleanor realised that Tommy had spotted the snitch. He raced down for it, sharply followed by Joseph Chauncer, the Slytherin seeker.

Her eyes flashed back to Sirius who was still in pursuit of Krew. They dived quickly before doing a loop, Krew laughing crazily. Sirius was so far in his own mind, he almost crashed straight into his fellow beater, Emma Nithercott, but nothing could stop him. His robe dragged behind him, the wind throwing it around frantically but his eyes were focused.

He grew closer.

And closer.

And closer.

"AND GRYFFINDOR WINS!" The commentator screamed as Tommy caught the snitch and a collective sigh of relief was released from the stands. In the excitement, Eleanor lost sight of Sirius as all of the red robes, except James who flew around victoriously, landed straight away in the hopes of medical attention. She tensed as she realised that Sirius wasn't one of them.

"Where-?" She trailed off, mumbling to herself. Quickly scanning the field, she finally caught sight of a red and a green robe at the far end just before the two of them slammed down onto the ground.

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	17. Chapter 17

Not the longest chapter to date, but it is a big one! Also, big news! I am about to start the final chapter of fourth year! Finally! The idea that I originally had that inspired me to write this story, I had in my mind to take place in fifth year so I will finally be able to write it out! Very exciting!

ALSO! People who follow this story, if you got two notifications for updates for this story, it's because I slightly edited the first chapter's authors note! Sorry for any confusion!

 **DISCLAIMER - Anything recognisable isn't mine!**

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The day started as ordinary. It had been weeks since the quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin, and things between the houses were starting to settle back down with the attention of the marauders turning to first Remus' and then James' looming birthdays. All of the players were taken to Madam Pomfrey straight after the game with injuries varying in severity. There were a lot of broken bones and dislocated joints but luckily the wizarding world could heal those in a heartbeat. The worst of the bunch, by far, were Sirius and Krew – but dive bombing the ground will do that to you. The two of them also received detention for two weeks for their 'foul play' as Professor McGonagall so politely put it.

Inside Eleanor's mind though, things weren't as easy to fix as a broken bone. Her conversation with the Professor on her birthday was still at the forefront and it was only becoming more and more attention grabbing. She had even written out a pro and con list about telling Lily everything, or even just a little more, but was interrupted by Dorcas and Elsie half way through so quickly threw it in the common room fire and never began it again. The amount that she knew about Lily far outweighed the amount that Lily knew about her. There was a kind of irony to that considering that the red head knew her biggest secret – or at least one of them. For example, Eleanor knew that when Lily grew up in Cokeworth with her mum, Marie, her dad, Donald, and her older sister Petunia; that already was more than the latter knew about her. She also knew how Lily found out she was a witch from Severus, how her parents were overjoyed with pride at her being a witch and how her older sister hated the fact. Lily was torn up about her sisters reaction, given that the two were relatively close growing up – right up until her status as a witch was announced and her accidental magic began to show more often. It occurred to Eleanor more than once that the reason the two were so close as friends may be because neither still had the relationship they craved with their actual sister.

Her brain was still reeling when Lily suddenly grabbed hold of her arm, dragging her behind the statue of Gunhilda de Gorsemoor. Before she could speak, Lily was already shushing her.

"Shhhh!" She whispered as she lowered herself behind the hump on the statue, "I know what that means…" She muttered to herself, her eyes never straying from the end of the corridor. Eleanor peeked around quickly and saw the four marauders huddled together, murmuring quietly between them. It was an odd sight to see the four boys being quiet, and somewhat unnerving.

"What are we doing?" Eleanor asked, only to receive another shush.

"You need to be quiet or they'll hear us!" Lily whisper yelled, "They're being discreet and hunched together talking – I don't like them discreet and hunched together talking; they're obviously planning something stupid, and we're going to catch them in the act."

Eleanor sighed, _guess the conversation about being and orphan and familyless can wait a little longer,_ "Is there any point in trying to change your mind so we can go eat? I'm hungry," She whined like a child.

Lily didn't even bother replying.

"Come on!" She waved her hand as the boys turned and headed out to the staircases. Eleanor groaned as she pulled herself up into a standing position, rolling her eyes as she watched Lily attempt to stick to the walls of the corridor like a badly trained spy.

"Lily! You're being ridiculous," Eleanor whisper yelled, not moving from her 'hiding' spot, instead folding her arms across her chest.

Too caught up in the moment, Lily didn't even realise that Eleanor wasn't behind her until she reached the big archway at the end. Eleanor laughed as she watched Lily turn around to talk to her, only to do a double take when she found the space behind her empty. Narrowed green eyes quickly flashed up at where she was still stood behind the statue.

"Did you not get the 'come on!' or the-" She repeated the hand motion from earlier, "or something?" Her hands dropped to her sides exasperatedly. Eleanor snorted and Lily narrowed her eyes even further, plastering a sympathetic look on her face, "If you were my friend you would do this…"

"How'd you figure that?" Eleanor grinned.

"Because… Well… You just would!"

"Brilliant logic there, really, top notch,"

Lily groaned and headed back down the corridor, "Oh come on! Please! I want to see the look on Potters face when I catch him in the act," She raised an eyebrow evilly which only made Eleanor laugh more. Her bottom lip jutted out and her hands came up to clasp together tightly, tucked underneath her chin. Lily ignored Eleanor when she laughed harder and executed the perfect definition of puppy dog eyes.

"Ok! Ok!" She caved eventually, "Keep your hair on!" Realistically, the only reason she said yes was because the idea of Lily breaking up a prank in the making was hilarious – not because she was at all curious about what they were doing, because she wasn't, not at all.

Lily jumped happily, dragging Eleanor towards the staircases by the wrist, all the while muttering about how much time she had wasted and that she would never catch up to them now.

After a few minutes, however, the girls heard the familiar tones of Sirius and what sounded like an arguing Remus. In the months since she started, Eleanor had never heard or even known about the marauders arguing amongst each other – not seriously anyway. They were always bickering like a polyamorous old married foursome but it never strayed further than "who ate the last of my chocolate frogs?" or other, equally as serious issues. No, this sounded important. Maybe Lily wasn't crazy to want to follow. Looking up, Eleanor caught a glimpse of robes flapping as the four boys made their way up the levels.

When the stairs had finished moving around, the marauders turned right and headed down an empty corridor with Lily and Eleanor hot on their tails. Though their voices were still tense and hushed, by now, they were close enough that the girls could vaguely hear what they were saying.

"…bloody stupid…you shouldn't…why even risk…" Eleanor didn't know Remus could even get angry but here he was, surprising her. His hands flew around frustrated as he spoke. Lily shadowed Eleanor as she scooted forwards, her interest well and truly peaked.

"We're your friends mate," James clapped a hand over his shoulder but he just shrugged it off with a huff. Eleanor looked over at Lily confused, but the red head shared her expression and shrugged.

"Plus, it'll be completely brilliant!" Sirius laughed unabashed by Remus' foul mood. The latter turned to scowl at him. A tense few seconds passed and Eleanor almost thought Remus was going to physically go for Sirius, judging by the fury in his gaze.

Eventually he sighed irritated, "No. You're not doing it. That's final."

"Actually, it's too late," Peter said, speaking for the first time, "We already started."

Remus turned his glare on him, "You already started?!" Realizing that he all but yelled, he glanced around quickly to make sure they were alone and luckily didn't spot the two girls spying on them; probably because he was too worked up to be focused, not because their hiding spot was especially great, "When?" He demanded, his voice lower.

"Second year…." Peter croaked out uncomfortably.

Remus' eyes widened in shock as his hands went up to run through his hair and he began pacing back and forth. Even from where the two girls hid behind a suit of armour, Eleanor could see the wheels turning in Remus' mind. A tap on her arm broke her thoughts.

" _Second year?_ " Lily mouthed to her. It clicked immediately what she meant. What kind of prank took two years to plan and wasn't even done yet? Either a hideously large one or they weren't talking about pranks. Eleanor was leaning slightly towards the second option. Remus was the more sensible, rational marauder, sure, but he _was_ also a marauder and by definition enjoyed creating and partaking in chaos. There was no way he would react this way to a joke.

"Mate, look at it this way, you won't be alone anymore," James spoke as the girls conferred, trying to diffuse the situation before it imploded.

"Oh yeah, I won't be along, great! I won't be along for all of three seconds before I end up killing you all!" Remus snarled. Eleanor almost snorted in amusement before she really focused on the scene before her. Everything about him, screamed that Remus wasn't joking. This was real. Another tap on her shoulder had her turning back to Lily. Her face was covered by various emotions but one in particular stood out – _fear_.

"Maybe we should go…" She whispered hastily, grabbing hold of Eleanor's shoulder and tried to drag her backwards but Eleanor wasn't going. She wanted to know what they were talking about. Call her nosy but they had come this far and listened to this much, why did Lily want to turn around now? Especially when it was her idea in the first place.

"You won't hurt us. Werewolves only go after humans, and we won't be humans, we'll be whatever the hell our Animagus form is. Personally, I think I'll be a dragon," Sirius grinned.

The first thing Eleanor was aware of was the tightening of Lily's hand around the top of her arm. It reminded her of when she was younger and had to go to the hospital to undergo tests for 'what was wrong with her', they hadn't been able to find anything but of course they wouldn't seeing as though her 'illness' was her mutation. But every so often throughout the day, a nurse would come in a put a cuff around her arm to take her blood pressure, it would squeeze and squeeze until Eleanor was sure her arm was about to fall off – much like right now.

"We need to go, now." Lily whispered sternly, once more trying to pull Eleanor away from the scene; this time succeeding. There was no fight in her, she was too busy sorting things out in her mind to argue.

Sirius had said _werewolf_. Eight months ago, Eleanor would have creased up if someone even implied that werewolves were real. But now was different. Now she knew for sure that werewolves _did_ in fact exist. But what did that have to do with the marauders?

" _You won't hurt us. Werewolves only go after humans…"_

No…

He couldn't… could he?

In the back of her mind, Eleanor recognised the familiar hallways and realised that Lily was rampageously dragging her towards her room. Probably the only place in the castle that was guaranteed to be private.

"… _the boy introduced as Remus; three large scars crossed his face. He looked like he had been mauled by a wild animal…"_

"… _He looked terrible. His skin was deathly pale and he looked about ready to collapse where he stood…"_

"… _I'm sure I'll feel better in a few days," He smiled back at her…"_

All of those visits to his sick aunt? She couldn't remember the exact dates, but they were about once a month, weren't they? Eleanor felt herself pale as the idea sunk in. Was Remus a werewolf? It would definitely explain a lot – and lord did she know that Dumbledore wasn't so exclusive as to only allow 'regular' witches and wizards into Hogwarts.

Her feet travelled of their own accord across the threshold, the release from her powers breaking her mind out of its intense cycle of thoughts.

"Ok…" Lily breathed shakily out as she picked up Remus' behaviour from before and began pacing. She clapped her hands together nervously, mumbling incoherently to herself.

So Remus was a werewolf.

Huh.

Eleanor's legs collapsed underneath her, forcing her to sit on the couch that, luckily, was directly behind her. She had only read a little about them in her studies for Defence Against the Dark Arts, and while she didn't agree; according to the books, they were "volatile, murderous, dangerous creatures that must be controlled if not exterminated" – basically everything that Remus wasn't. So did that mean he wasn't a werewolf? No, there was too much proof. Her naivety didn't stretch that far. All it meant was that, as she'd suspected, the 'rule' of werewolves had been broken. After all, there were people who believed mutants were too powerful, too dangerous, too unpredictable – and Eleanor liked to think that she, along with many others, proved that to be incorrect. Even humans had the potential to be dark and dangerous – it wasn't what you had, it was what you did with it that made you who you were – the professor had drilled that into her from her first day at Xavier's. It sounded as though Remus' situation wasn't far from her own.

"Ok," Lily repeated, clasping her hands together tightly as she came over to sit on the sofa next to her, "El, what you just heard…"

"Remus is a werewolf," She said simply. A swell of pity surged through her as she imagined what his months entailed. He was one of the sweetest, kind hearted people she had ever met – if anyone was deserving of such a condition, it wasn't Remus.

Lily sucked in a sharp breath in between her teeth, "Yes. But you can't tell anyone,"

The slight shock at having her suspicions confirmed was overtaken by Lily's apparent lack of faith. She turned to her, arms held out exasperatedly as she spat an unbelieving breath out. Why would she even think about telling anyone? In any case, who was she to judge? She also kept a huge secret and basically lost control on a regular basis.

"Right," She nodded, "Sorry, I just… I didn't mean for you to find out… that was my idea to follow them and now…"

"Wait," Eleanor interrupted, "Did you know?" Lily's eyes fell to her fingers as she nodded, "How?"

"I figured it out a couple of years ago, but Remus doesn't know that I know, nobody does-"

"Lily, you're rambling,"

"-right, sorry," She took a deep breath, "Stupid question, but you _are_ ok with it all right?"

"I don't know whether to be offended or think its sweet that you care so much to ask that question,"

"I know, I know! Sorry,"

Eleanor shook her head, laughing softly. She put her hands on Lily's shoulders to stop her fidgeting and took a deep breath before speaking, "Lily, you need to calm down. There's no harm done. So Remus is a werewolf, big deal, I'm a mutant, you're a human, woop-de-do. I've had enough of the huge, life altering revelations that now I just kind of go with it, to be honest, it's much easier for everyone," She smiled when Lily grinned at her. Saying it out loud confirmed her own feelings to herself. Was it a shock to find out that a fellow school mate turned into a wolf every full moon? Of course. About as much of a shock as she had given Lily when she told her her own secret – probably less since Eleanor already knew about werewolves. But neither secrets were a cause for any kind of concern so long as the correct precautions were taken.

"We don't have to tell Remus that we found out," Eleanor continued, "I doubt it's the type of thing he wants people to know," In fact, she was 100% sure that Remus wouldn't want people knowing about his condition, that he'd want to it to remain a secret between he and his friends, she walked in very similar shoes, "The only thing I'm confused about is the whole 'Animagus form' thing Sirius was talking about…?"

Lily's eyes flashed as if she just remembered that part of the sentence.

"Judging by the look on your face, I'm going to say it's against the rules?" Eleanor's voice pitched up as she finished delicately asking her question. Delicately being the main word. Lily looked like anything other and she would pop like a bubble and explode. She looked to be going back and forth in her head once more, caught between two minds.

"Animagi are people who can transform into animals, like Professor McGonagall," She began with a sigh, "Those boys won't be able to do it. It takes the most skilled of witches and wizards years of practice before they can even think about beginning to make the physical transformation. I imagine, by the sounds of it anyway, that they're planning to become animagi to keep Remus company on full moons. Not to mention that any animagi need to be registered and I'll bet on my magic that those morons intend on taking the illegal route," _Ahhh,_ Eleanor smiled to herself. So Lily _was_ stuck between two minds. One mind saying that she ought to report them for breaking the rules, and the other saying she ought to admire the lengths they were willing to go to for their friend.

In fact, the more she thought about it, the more Eleanor herself began to admire the marauders even further. It was obvious to anyone who met them that they were the closest of close friends, but undertaking years of preparation before transforming their entire beings into animals to keep their friend company during his incredibly painful – not to mention, dangerous – transformations. And then to add the risk that they were putting themselves at to do so… Eleanor found herself wanting to cry for some reason, her chest swelled at the knowledge that Remus had people around him who were so incredibly supportive. Friends so open and honest, that would love and protect you no matter what – well they were hard to come by.

She looked at Lily as the red head continued to chunter on about the marauders. Her thoughts from earlier in the day echoed through her mind. Would Lily still love and protect her if she was as open and honest? Her immediate response was absolutely. Lily was her best friend and one of the most loyal and kind people she had ever met. She had taken Remus' condition with a pinch of salt and kept it to herself for years; that alone should be proof enough. But the inevitable doubt started to creep in. Sure, she knew about her mutation. But what if the mind control was a step too far? What if that pushed her over the edge of acceptance? What if Lily was _scared_ of her? A large part of her mind told her to shut up and that she was stupid if she thought Lily would ever abandon not just her, but anyone in her position. However that niggling doubt, no matter how small, was still there.

And then there was the subject of her family. While not something that would chase away friends, it was difficult for Eleanor to talk about. More so than anything to do with her mutation. Quite rightly so too, this was her _family_ – and they were gone. Her life had been such a rollercoaster the last four years, it sometimes felt like she never even had the time to mourn the loss. Something was always in the way, first her mutation, and now her magic. Talking about them just opened up the hole in her chest that she had spent so long trying to fill.

But being open and honest didn't mean just being open and honest about certain things. It meant thick and thin, dark and light, transparency. And that was something Eleanor sorely struggled with.

 _Jump in with both feet or don't do it at all._

Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, Eleanor spoke, "While we're on the subject of secrets… there's something I need to tell you."

The day started as ordinary; it didn't end that way.

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	18. Chapter 18

**Little bit of a longer chapter today!**

 **Sorry it's been so long since I last updated, real life and writers block have been killing me. Thankfully, life is starting to calm down and I've pushed through the block! I've actually finished the first chapter of fifth year today and I'm currently writing a really special scene. This is the scene that actually created this whole story. I had the idea for this particular scene and the rest of the story has been built around this one scene specifically, so I'm super excited to finally get to write it and I can't wait for you guys to read it!**

 **DISCLAIMER - Anything recognisable isn't mine! I'm just playing!**

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" _Yeah?" Lily asked. Her eyebrows crunched together slightly, "El, what's wrong? It's not anything to do with Remus is it?"_

 _Lily touched her arm to get her attention. Eleanor was too busy focusing on not passing out from anxiety, was that even possible? It sure felt like it. But she was in now, there was no going back. Or was there? She could just make a joke? Maybe say that she liked cookies or somethin, that would be funny right?_ No _. Eleanor stopped herself before her mind could wander further. She had to do this. How would she ever have friends like the marauders if couldn't share her secrets._ Wow. _She moaned to herself,_ I'm jealous of those four idiots. _Would a smack to the face be too much?_

" _No! Honest, I couldn't care less that Remus is a werewolf – well obviously I care, I mean, I don't want him to be in pain and hurt himself but the fact that he's a werewolf, nope, I don't care about that," Deciding it would be easier to start by answering the latter part of the question only lead to an embarrassing ramble. They had swapped places apparently – now Lily was the calm and collected one, while Eleanor was left to dissolve into a bundle of nerves. If she had been in her right mind, Eleanor would have realised that she had no place worrying about Lily's reaction. Their friendship was built on support from day one, they were there for each other at all times. If one was feeling weak, the other was the rock to lean on. If one was feeling down, the other was the burst of excitement to change the mood. If one was struggling in any way, shape or form, the other_ would _be there. The last hour alone was proof of that._

" _It's about me," Eleanor continued, "My, uh, my mutation to be exact."_

" _Oh," Lily said, shocked. It was a bit of a quick change of topic, "Well what about it? Is everything ok?"_

" _Yeah, it's nothing like that," She knew that Lily meant her control, "It's just, with everything tonight, and finding out about Remus, and the others, what they're doing or at least what they're trying to do for him…" She trailed off, running out of words._

" _El?" Eleanor could see in her peripheral vision as Lily ducked her head, trying to catch her eyes, but she couldn't bring herself to stop staring at her hands, "El, what is it?" Lily's voice was soft._

" _Their friendship is just so… moving? I don't know if that's the right word, but… I've never really_ had _friends before Hogwarts. I mean, sure I had people I hung out with and talked too, but they never really knew me, not properly. And I always knew it was because I hold back. I hold back so much of myself that I never become friends with people because I don't let myself grow attached. But somehow, you've grown on me," Lily grinned, "Like a fungus or something," Eleanor laughed when Lily pushed her playfully, "Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, that seeing the marauders tonight, it's kind of made me realise how much I've been missing out on, and despite how close we are – there's still so much of my life that's hidden, that I don't talk or even think about often; and I know you've realised it so thank you for not pushing it. But then how do I have real friends if I keep it hidden still?"_

" _We are real friends El – whether we know everything about each other or not." Lily said, even though she knew the question was rhetorical._

" _I know, but… the marauders, they're like brothers; family – and-"_

" _Ok, look at me," Lily interrupted her, pulling her shoulders around so they were facing each other, "We are family. You are my family. In seven months, you've become my sister more than my actual sister. And because of that, I don't want you to do anything that you're not comfortable with; you don't have to tell me every little piece of your life, and you shouldn't feel guilty because of that."_

 _Eleanor let a low breath out._

" _My family is dead."_

 _It felt surreal to admit it out loud. It was one of the only times she had actually said it since the accident. She had thought it many times, of course, but there was something different about the spoken word. As if it became more real simply because it had been said aloud. Words were funny like that._

" _And I can control minds."_

 _Looking back, it probably wasn't the_ best _way to tell her secrets. But at least it got them out there. The plaster was ripped off quickly, efficiently and helplessly. So why was Eleanor even more afraid than before? Wasn't it supposed to feel like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders? But as she sat in silence, waiting for Lily to form a sentence, anything, the pressure just got worse. Should she have kept it to herself? That was probably best. It was a stupid idea to tell her. Or maybe it was the way she told her? She could have gone about it in a better way… Or even then, maybe Lily was just thinking of what to say. She could guarantee that the red head had never been put in this situation before that's for sure._

 _More time passed, and what was probably seconds instead felt like hours. Eleanor struggled with what to do. Should she say something? Should she stay quiet? Should she stand up and leave Lily to process? Her mind was shut up by the red head finally speaking._

" _Ok…" She sounded shell-shocked._ Naturally. _"I'm so sorry El," Lily continued, her hand rubbed Eleanor's back comfortingly, "I can't imagine how hard that must be."_

" _It's ok," Eleanor lied carefully, her voice sounded like she was walking on egg shells, "It was a while ago."_

" _It doesn't matter how long ago it was… you're the strongest person I've ever met El," Lily paused, "What were their names?" She asked cautiously._

 _Eleanor's chest tightened, and her throat constricted as she answered, her voice barely above a whisper, "My mum and dad were called Janet and Terry, and my little sister, she was called Elizabeth." It was a good thing they were already in her room – her control would definitely be wavering right about now._

" _Well obviously, I don't know what they were like, but I do know one thing; they would be so proud of you," At Lily's words, tears that she wasn't even aware of began to slide down her face. She quickly wiped them away, but they were replaced by even more, "Oh, El…" Lily instantly pulled her into a tight hug. Instinctively, Eleanor wrapped her arms around her, and the floodgate she had held up for four years broke. In seconds, Lily's shoulder was soaked with her tears. It felt good to cry. She hadn't cried since a few months after the accident. Not even just about her family, but about anything. Many times, tears would well up in her eyes, but they were never shed - the control she had been taught to have over her emotions had stretched further than planned, leaving her not only not wanting too, but being afraid to cry and let go in case she lost control. But it had been too long. Her mum was big on crying; she always said that people should have a good cry regularly, that it was important to get everything out. The reminder only made Eleanor cry harder._

 _Almost ten minutes later, she managed to rein the tears in slightly. Lily, ironically, wasn't particularly helpful with that and instead encouraged her to cry as much as she needed too. But what she really needed was to get a hold of herself. The situation with her family wasn't the only thing she'd mentioned. Were they just going to ignore the part about mind control or…? Eleanor did feel a little better about Lily's reaction about it considering the way she had essentially overlooked it in place of comforting her, but that little bit of doubt in her mind told her that Lily had simply misheard her._

Find your Gryffindor courage.

" _Uh, Lil?" Eleanor sat back, "About the other thing…" In a last burst of bravery, she looked up at Lily. She sat looking at her with an almost bemused expression on her face. A small, sad smile played on her lips with an eyebrow raised slightly._

" _Let me guess," Lily began, "you're worried that I'm going to run screaming, terrified that you've brainwashed me into being your friend?"_

 _Eleanor coughed awkwardly, "Basically,"_

" _Nah," Lily shrugged nonchalantly, "You've grown on me; kind of like a fungus or something…" Eleanor laughed disbelievingly and felt a whole new reason to cry._

Eleanor smiled to herself as she thought back to the previous night. After coming clean to Lily, the two girls stayed up all night talking. She told more about her family – little stories from when she was younger. And then she explained about her full abilities – how her telepathy was so powerful that it allowed her to control minds. Eleanor made sure to mention that she had never done so – nor did she plan to do so – and with her telepathy pushed so far behind the wall in her mind, it wasn't even a possibility. As suspected, Lily sucked all of the information in as if she were a vacuum, nodding eagerly the entire time.

The only problem with this was that it _had_ taken all night, and while it wouldn't usually be an issue, it was a school night. Leading to two exhausted girls crawling out of bed in the morning, running on only a single hour of sleep. It was safe to say, they didn't look or feel their best. Sirius made sure to loudly point out the heavy bags under their eyes as soon as they walked into the great hall.

To make matters even worse, the Gryffindor common room would soon be filled with music, dancing and noise. A normal party for the Gryffindors was a big deal, a birthday party was huge news, but a joint birthday party between two marauders? There was no way it would be avoided. Besides, seeing as though Remus was one half of the recipients, even Lily had promised she would make an appearance – even if the other half was James.

Eleanor looked over at Remus where he stood talking to some fifth years. The marauders had told everyone the reason that his party was shared with James' was because he was 'visiting his aunt' over his actual birthday; something Eleanor now knew to be a lie. Since learning his secret, she'd partially expected to see him in a different light, but for some reason she didn't. He was still Remus. He still wore cardigans that were a few sizes too large, he still helped anyone who asked, and he still threw himself into his work – despite being a marauder. As he laughed at something one of the girls said, Eleanor couldn't help but think that he was actually the biggest marauder of them all – successfully keeping a huge part of yourself from the rest of the school required a lot of sneaking; _she should know_. It made more and more sense as Eleanor thought it through. Remus was always happy to sit back and let either Sirius or James dance upon the tables. But he was very clearly the brains of the operation.

"Ellie!" Sirius' voice rang loudly in her ear as she came down the stairs from the girl's dorm room, "You came!" He bounced over and threw his arms around her.

"I told you I would, didn't I?" She laughed into his shoulder as she pushed him away playfully.

"Well _excuse me_ for caring," Sirius folded his arms across his chest and sniffled as if crying. Eleanor just stared at him with a raised eyebrow until he broke his charade and grinned at her, throwing a casual arm over her shoulders as he guided her towards the drinks, "What can I get you m'dear?" His hand didn't wait for her reply and automatically went straight to the firewhiskey.

"Are you trying to get me drunk?" Eleanor joked.

Sirius' head snapped around to look at her, looking momentarily shocked before a smirk made way onto his face, "Wouldn't that a sight to behold?"

His velvety voice sent chills down her spine, and straight to her stomach where butterflies erupted. Eleanor felt her heart begin to race as she was locked in his stare. His eyes, those uniquely beautiful eyes, bore down on her like a tonne of bricks. Suddenly the room began to feel very hot. A hint of amusement flashed behind the grey orbs before something else took its place. She wasn't sure how long they stood like that – both too long and not long enough in her opinion – but the moment was broken when James bounded over like an overly excited Great Dane.

"Hey El, where's Lily?" He beamed.

"I'm good, thanks for asking," She said sarcastically and heard Sirius laugh behind her. He had moved so close that she could feel the movement of his body as he sniggered. Eleanor's eyes subconsciously fluttered closed, relishing in the feeling.

The room came back into focus when James laughed dryly. Her eyes flew open and widened as she remembered where she was – a crowded common room was not the place to have Sirius related day dreams, _particularly when he's stood behind you_ her mind added.

"She's just finishing getting ready, she won't be long," James nodded happily and went to walk off, "And happy birthday!" Eleanor yelled after him. He turned and thanked her with a grin before heading back into the centre of the party.

"You should try living with him," Sirius smiled, "It's always 'Lily this' or 'Lily that'. Even in his bloody sleep. Or quidditch – I think he took yesterday's game between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff as a present from Dumbledore,"

Eleanor laughed softly, "He really likes her, doesn't he?"

It was more of a statement than a question, but Sirius still answered, "Yep. It's quite annoying actually,"

Eleanor just rolled her eyes.

The party was in full swing. What seemed like every Gryffindor had turned up to celebrate, the common room had never looked so full. A boy with sandy blonde coloured hair tried to squeeze past her, accidentally knocking into her side.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" He quickly apologised, turning to face her. Eleanor recognised him as Jack Toomer, a Gryffindor from the year above, "Didn't mean to get you,"

"It's fine, don't worry about it," She smiled up at him – he was _tall_. Part of her wondered if maybe he had been held back a few years and was actually 18. He had big broad shoulders, had to be around – if not over - 6 foot tall and had the start of facial hair. He grinned back down at her.

"I don't believe we've ever met, I'm Jack, Jack Toomer," He held his hand out for her to shake.

Before Eleanor could get a sound out, Sirius interrupted, "Sirius Black." He announced, clasping his own hand around Jack's and shaking it firmly. Despite not initially talking to him, Jack nodded at the dark-haired boy and turned back to Eleanor.

"I'm Eleanor, it's nice to meet you," Jack reached down to her hand, pulling it up to his lips. He kissed her knuckles softly and smiled.

"It's a pleasure."

Eleanor looked up to study his face quickly. He was attractive, there was no doubting that. With dark brown eyes, high cheekbones and a jaw bone that could cut glass, she was sure he had a flurry of girls fawning after him. Her hand buzzed lightly where he'd touched her as he let go. But when a warm hand came to rest of the middle of her back, she no longer felt the soft tingles, instead, she was consumed by the familiar fire that Sirius caused every time they came into contact. The boy in question coughed obviously and Jack looked over to him, "Right," He said in a light tone, "If you're ok, then I best get back to my friends. Again, it was lovely to see you," He smiled at Eleanor, nodded at Sirius and continued on his way.

What was wrong with her? Jack was very good looking, polite and kind by the looks of things, so why did it only take one touch from Sirius to snap her attention away? That single touch had created a fire that was impossible to ignore. A fire that left other boys in the dust.

"Well he seemed nice," Eleanor said, awkwardly trying to think of anything other than Sirius' hand, which was _still_ on her back.

"Yeah, a real prince charming…" Sirius muttered.

"Hey! You do pay attention in Muggle Studies!" She turned to face him fully with a smirk on her face. He beamed down at her, removing his hand from her back to hold them out at his sides proudly.

"Do you believe in that?" He asked quietly after a few moments of silence.

"What?"

"Prince charming," He continued.

"What d'you mean?"

He sighed softly, "I mean, do you believe in that whole lovey-dovey, fairy-tale crap?"

Eleanor laughed, "I'm guessing that you don't?" He shrugged, "I'm not sure. I sort of do… Maybe not the fairy-tale side of it, but I do believe in the whole 'lovey-dovey crap' as you so poetically called it,"

"So, you think that there's one person for everyone?" He ignored her question.

She sucked in a breath, "Like destiny?" He nodded, "No, I don't," She said after thinking about it, "No, I think that we make our own decisions, and those decisions lead us to certain people. Sure, sometimes we get put in situations that nudge us _towards_ people or things, but in the end, we're free to do as we please, and choose who we please – and that's what makes the difference," She looked up to see Sirius deep in thought. _A rare sight_. "You ok?" Eleanor asked quietly.

Sirius' head shot up and a second later his big bravado was painted across his face, "Fine and dandy m'friend," He smirked, his arm finding its place back on top of her shoulders, reigniting her fire once more.

The party was still going strong a few hours later. James and Remus had been very appreciative of the cards she had made for them herself – well, James was after she explained the muggle tradition of giving cards on a birthday. Lily had finally made an appearance only to regret it when James immediately started to badger her and although she was too polite to yell at someone at their birthday party, he was clearly pushing her close to breaking point.

"Do you think Remus will mind if I go?" Lily asked. Eleanor rolled her eyes.

"Just ignore him,"

"It's like trying to ignore a disease! The longer you leave it, the more worse it becomes!"

"I wouldn't exactly call James a disease Lil,"

"I would!" She exclaimed, scowling as she watched the messy haired birthday boy literally dancing on one of the tables. Eleanor raised an eyebrow at her, "Ok, fine, he's not a disease. But I still don't like him!" Lily added as an afterthought. After a few moments her eyes lit up, "Can you not… y'know?" She held a finger up to her temple.

Eleanor laughed at her friend's dramatics and said jokingly, "You couldn't pay me enough to go inside that mind."

Lily may not be on the greatest of terms with James, but there was a clear difference from the beginning of the year in their relationship – mainly that they _had_ one – and they could be in the same room as each other for more than thirty seconds and not start an argument. It was refreshing. In fact, neither she nor Remus had needed to split them up in almost two weeks; their new personal best.

As she sniggered, she caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of her eye that made her stop abruptly. Her throat tightened slightly as a weight began to push on her chest.

In the centre of the room, Sirius sat on the sofa with none other than Honey Taylor. 'Sat' was a bit of stretch given that the two of them were intertwined by their limbs and joined at the mouth. Eleanor felt sick as she watched Honey's hands run through Sirius' hair without a care in the world, or a second thought for being in the middle of a packed out common room. Sirius had his eyes closed tightly as his hands roamed over her body, her legs, her hair.

Eleanor heard someone almost growl and turned to see Lily stood beside her looking murderous. The red head had her eyes trained on the boy, but he was far too preoccupied to notice – _or care_ , her mind added.

"It's fine," Eleanor squeaked out when Lily began to clench her fist. The last thing she needed was Lily to explode and out her crush on Sirius.

Lily immediately turned to face her, and her expression changed to a one of sympathy.

"Do you need to go…?" She gestured towards the portrait. Eleanor quickly looked back at where Sirius now had his hand stuck up Honey's top and shook her head.

"I'm ok," She took a deep breath and dragged her eyes away. Her heart felt as though hundreds of icy needles were stabbing her mercilessly… but, she was ok. She had to be. Sirius was becoming quite the ladies' man and she had to accept that and move on. She would _not_ let her happiness at Hogwarts depend upon a boy. That being said, it didn't mean she particularly wanted to watch it happening. She wore a fake smile that Lily clearly did not believe, "Do you want to go get a drink or something?"

Thankfully, Lily caught her drift and didn't push the subject, "You'll never guess what happened yesterday! I totally forgot to tell you after everything…"

"What?" Eleanor asked as she refilled her cup.

"Well it was just before I caught up with you, and I was coming down the hallway and Lucius Malfoy and his gang of cronies thought it would be funny to hex a first year as she was walking down to class – I know! – and all of a sudden she's on the floor, books everywhere, with this group of seventh years laughing at her as they walked passed, telling her she's in her rightful place, below them, because she's a 'mudblood'. So, I go over to help her and she's crying so I'm trying to help her calm down; and then Professor McGonagall came charging over and shooed me away. But it was so awful. I wish I'd been closer to them when they did it – show them what a 'mudblood' can do!" Lily snarled without taking a breath.

The problem with the Slytherins – seventh years especially – was getting worse. It was becoming more and more common to find them hexing students and using derogatory terms. It was a touchy subject amongst the Gryffindors. All of them had _very_ strong opinions on the matter and making them known was not a problem – for most of them anyway. Ironically, it was Sirius, the boy who never shuts up, would simply go very quiet whenever the subject was broached. He could be in the happiest mood, planning planks and messing around, but one mention of the crazed 'pureblood' mania that was sweeping its way through the Slytherin house and his face would storm over. His eyes would darken, and his fists would clench. Others could shout and scream and hex out their anger, but it was Sirius who – in those moments – looked truly terrifying. The topic hit too close to home. Literally. Not only did it constantly remind him of his family and their disgusting stance on the topic, but there was more than one occasion that involved his younger brother using the slurs – something that was praised by those around him. As an older sibling herself, Eleanor empathized with him and his instinct to protect his younger relation.

She also knew how it felt to fail at that.

"I wish there was something Dumbledore could do," Eleanor complained. It wasn't as if detentions, writing home or expelling them would get any results – all of their families agreed with what they were doing. Lily nodded in agreement and sighed.

"You two don't look like you're at a party," Remus smiled as he appeared next to them, "Everything ok?"

Eleanor smirked to herself, _dangerous werewolf indeed._

"Yeah, we're fine. How's the birthday party, birthday boy?" Lily asked.

"It's great! I'm having so much fun!" It became apparent very quickly that Remus was completely smashed. His arms flailed around as he gestured towards everyone, "You need to have fun! Come dance!" His eyes suddenly widened as if it was the greatest idea he'd ever had. He quickly put his drink down, spilling it in the process, grabbed their hands and dragged them towards the make shift dance floor. Eleanor had never seen the usually – _almost_ – reserved marauder like this before. He looked so free. So light. So unburdened by his secret.

It was that moment that Eleanor decided something.

She was going to help Remus; in any way she could.

* * *

 **There you have it!**

 **I also don't want to be one of those writers that begs for reviews, but honestly, they really do help with the whole process of creating ideas and getting them onto paper (or a laptop technically), so let me know what you guys think so far!**


	19. Chapter 19

So SO sorry for the long wait! Won't bore you with the details - instead have another chapter!

 **DISCLAIMER** **\- Anything recognisable isn't mine!**

* * *

"Douglas!" A voice yelled from the far end of the corridor. Eleanor stopped in her tracks at the entrance of the library, her head swivelling around in response. She scowled slightly before replacing it with a replica of a smile as Snape stormed towards her. Instead of replying verbally, Eleanor simply raised her eyebrows in question when he reached her. Despite Lily's incessant nagging, she still just couldn't quite _get_ Severus Snape – no matter how much Lily told her that his hard face act was exactly that. There was just something about him. Maybe it was the sneer that seemed to be constantly held upon his face, maybe it was the fact that he hung around with self-proclaimed 'pure blood elitists' or _maybe_ it was the way he both looked and spoke down to her as if she was something he'd just stepped in.

"Where's Lily?" He demanded. Eleanor almost rolled her eyes.

"Probably in class…"

"Then why aren't you?"

Eleanor had to take a second to stop from snapping at him, _none of your business you jumped up reptile._ She wouldn't be friends with Snape, but that didn't mean she had to be rude.

" _Be kind. And if you can't be kind, be civil."_ Her mothers voice rang through her mind.

"Professor Mailer let us out early," Actually, the class had been released early on account of necessity rather than Mailer's personal choice – Sirius thought it would be a good idea to find and bring a live chicken, of all things, to the lesson; claiming that seeing as though it was a 'muggle' animal it should be allowed. To cut a very long story short, the chicken wasn't best pleased about it. Couple this together with his next _brilliant_ idea – to put a bloody doubling charm on the damn thing so every person in class could have their own – well, class ended shortly after that with a room full of angry poultry and Sirius in detention for the next week. But she wasn't about to tell the sworn enemy of the marauders this.

"Out of the goodness of his heart I suppose?" Severus raised an eyebrow at her.

She stared blankly at him, "Is there something I can help you with?" The polite words tasted awful on her tongue.

"Oh no, I wouldn't want to disturb you from your… work?" He nodded towards the library door, "Besides, _I'll_ see Lily later tonight anyway." Eleanor might've imagined the emphasis he put on the word 'I'll' but before she even had a chance to catch her thoughts, he was brushing past her and continuing on his way.

A frustrated sigh escaped her and the urge to bang her head against the wall only grew when she heard another voice yell for her, only this voice was instantly recognizable.

"Ellie!" Sirius called, Eleanor could hear his footsteps as he almost ran over to her, "Was that Snivellus? What did he want?"

Sirius Black and Severus Snape were never going to get along. It was just a fact. Even without the complications of James and Lily and Lily's relationship with Severus, Eleanor was sure that those two would just never be friends – it wouldn't happen. But their 'intense dislike' for each other only grew as the year went on. It was now at the point where the mere sight of one another was too much too take.

Sirius' face was stony. His lips were set in a hard line and his eyes were narrowed, watching Severus' retreating figure. His nose flared slightly and Eleanor had to take a deep breath at the way he was, once again, affecting her. _All girls like a bad boy._ But the whole aura around Sirius at that moment – the way his eyes flashed angrily - was more than just 'bad boy', it was fiery and frozen all at the same time. With the way her cheeks heated up, Eleanor leant more towards the 'fiery' side of things. _WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?_ Her mind screamed at her.

"He was just asking where Lily is," She shook her head dismissively.

He shivered as if he'd tasted something bad, "I don't know why she's friends with that snake," He spat before turning to Eleanor, his expression completely changed and his mouth turned up into a smile, "So what you up too?"

"Nothing, I just felt like hanging out in the doorway of the library," She said dryly, gesturing with her hand.

"Funny, I felt like doing the same thing – OR we could go raid the kitchens?"

"How do you know where-? You know what, I don't want to know," Sirius grinned proudly at her, "But I'm actually planning on doing my transfiguration homework." It was a lie, but Eleanor knew it was a sure-fire way to get rid of the boy in front of her; he only entered the library in severe emergencies.

He pulled a face at her and jutted his bottom lip out. _Oh no, look at that face… NO, be strong, it's just a face – everyone has them._

Before her inner monologue could convince her otherwise, Eleanor spoke, sounding a lot more composed than she felt, "Nice try, but I have to get this done."

She quickly pushed her way through the door, as Sirius complained loudly, "Fine! I'll just wander around this huge castle on my lonesome, no need to worry about me, I'm fine, it's not like I want-" The door to the library closed and the silencing spell around the room took hold, cutting him off in the middle of his rant. Eleanor shook her head as she laughed softly.

The library was quiet, as expected. There was only a few sixth and seventh years, who had free periods, scattered around, trying to cram in some last-minute revision before their NEWTS. Finding an empty table in the corner, away from any other students, Eleanor got her books out.

This was the reason she had tried to get rid of Sirius, something she would never normally do. She looked over the three books on the table in front of her. They were the main books the library had on werewolves. Since finding out Remus' secret, she and Lily had spent every spare minute going through every sentence of every paragraph of information; hoping to find some kind of inspiration on how to help Remus but all of their ideas had immediately been shot down – except creating some kind of potion but even for Lily who was a genius at the subject, it was way out of her league.

For a librarian, Madam Pince hadn't exactly been the best help on where to find books on werewolves, in fact the three books in front of her had been the only reading material suggested. But Hogwarts had to have more than three measly books on werewolves, right?

Halfway through the first book again, Eleanor slammed it shut in frustration. There was just _nothing._ It was sad that the wizarding community apparently cared so little about trying to help their own. The issue was though, that werewolves were scarcely recognized as wizards also – or even as people. Everything that she had read only talked about 'the beast' and failed to recognise that there was still a person inside too. Perhaps it was because the full moon was tonight, but she felt especially useless today. It had been two weeks since she found out about his condition and decided that she would help – and in that time, she had achieved exactly nothing. Zilch. Nada. And now all she could think of was how tonight Remus would be alone and tearing himself apart as he lost control and the wolf took over. It didn't bare thinking about.

Pushing her chair back with a groan, she headed over to the aisles once more, determined to find something – anything – that could help.

The next few days brought around more disappointment. As continuing with their new-found routine, Eleanor and Lily raided the library whenever they could. After giving up with the ridiculously small section dedicated to werewolves, they moved onto books about dark creatures and dark arts. Both girls were simultaneously pleased and annoyed to find a few chapters on werewolves, considering these books also had chapters about the darkest wizards ever lived.

Eleanor looked up as Lily sighed and turned towards the window. It was raining. It had actually been raining a lot recently. The grey skies never seemed to disappear. The traditional 'April showers' had turned into 'April downpours' with very little blue sky making an appearance for the past week. _Maybe it's an omen_ , she thought cynically. Just like the weather, things were still far from positive in the search for a way to help Remus.

"Do you think there's actually a way to help?" Lily asked, still watching the rain as it ran down the window of the library. Eleanor looked up at her and she continued, "We've been searching for almost three weeks and we've got nothing!"

It was silent for a moment as Eleanor thought of a way to respond, "I think that there's no way either of us will give up until we find a way to help him," Lily turned to smile at her, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"It's not just that," She sighed once more, heading back over to the table, "It just makes me so angry that no one has even tried to help before. I mean, surely there would be _some_ kind of note or _something_!" Lily rubbed her hands over her face in frustration, "I just don't understand why wants to help them…"

"That's not true… we do," Eleanor said, a small, optimistic smile playing on her lips, "I know it's not the same but… I don't know, maybe we'll find some huge, world-changing discovery that changes the way people with lycanthropy live!" Despite it being clear that she didn't believe her, Lily let out a small laugh.

Before long darkness took over the castle and curfew was coming up, sending the girls out of the library and back towards Gryffindor common room. As they stepped through the portrait, they headed up the stairs to their dorm they were confronted with Dorcas and Elsie who sat outside the door; their ears pressed firmly against the wood. Simultaneously Eleanor and Lily slowed and looked at each other in confusion.

"Uh, guys-" Lily started but was sharply interrupted by Dorcas.

"SHHHHHH!" She waved her hand at them fiercely.

"What's going on?" Lily tried again, this time whispering and creeping down to their level.

"Mary and Alice are in there alone and they're _talking_!" Elsie explained.

"WHAT?!" Eleanor and Lily whisper yelled at the same time, rushing to the door to press their own ears up against it – and sure as eggs are eggs Eleanor could hear the two former besties actually having a conversation. Wait? Was that laughter? Eyebrows shot upwards. Ever since the marauders decided it would be a good idea to lock them in an empty classroom together, the girls had seemed to come to some kind of truce, neither had spoken to any of the other dorm mates about what happened or was said, but ever since then there had at least been no more screaming matches. That didn't mean they were _friends_ though, no, they were still far from it - despite the initial conflict being months ago – so the fact that they were sitting in a room alone and having a pleasant conversation hit the other girls like a tonne of bricks.

Suddenly the noise from inside the room stopped for a second before becoming louder. Eleanor could hear footsteps moving around and realised what was happening at the same time as the others. Someone was coming to the door. They all jumped up quickly, Eleanor taking an elbow to the face from Dorcas in her rush to get away. The door opened revealing Mary who stood with a knowing smirk on her face – even if she and Alice hadn't heard them outside the door, their 'nonchalant' poses gave away what they'd been doing.

Dorcas grinned at her sheepishly, "Fancy seeing you here…"

The next morning Eleanor woke up with a sore head, but seeing as though she'd been elbowed in the face the previous night, she wasn't particularly surprised. She could hear the musings of the other girls on the other side of the curtains as she stretched happily. It was impossible not to wake up with a smile on your face on a Hogsmeade weekend. Considering that Hogsmeade was only a short trip from the castle, it didn't seem like much freedom – but when you'd been cooped up in one place for a couple of weeks, even a step outside the tall iron gates would be enough.

By the time she and Lily were up, showered and had breakfast, the last load of students were making their way down to the small town, allowing the two girls to easily find an empty carriage and be on their way. As the carriage pulled to a slow stop, they immediately caught sight of the marauders with their usual flair - a loud bang followed by the sound of laughter. The four boys were heading away from the carriage drop off point and therefore Eleanor could only see their backs as she instantly focused on one in particular – surprisingly it wasn't Sirius. With this month's full moon behind him, and a week to recover, Remus was getting back to a vaguely healthy disposition. His shoulders were straighter, his stride was no longer short and broken and, considering he currently had Sirius in a headlock as they happily strolled down the street, he looked to be feeling much more energetic. Seeing as though he had only missed one day of classes, Eleanor had seen him regularly over the past five days, but each time brought her straight back to when she caught a glimpse of him the morning after the night before.

 _It was only the sun rising that alerted Eleanor to the time. She had stayed awake all night, unable to sleep for even a second as the distant howls whirled through the wind. They had seemed to last for forever but had finally stopped just half an hour ago. Lily lay on top of her bed; tiredness had finally caught up with her just after 4, but Eleanor was still sat at the window. She didn't expect nor particularly want to see Remus in his current state but couldn't bring herself away._

 _A vigilant eye on the clock in the girls dorm told her it was_ 6:02 _when Madam Pomfrey rushed passed and out of her line of vision; blankets folded in a pile floating beside her. At 6:23 Eleanor saw what she had been waiting for all night. Madam Pomfrey had her arm around a small, frail looking person as they hobbled back towards the castle. She allowed a small smile and a breath of relief until the twosome crept closer. Even from the high Gryffindor tower, red could be seen to be soaking through and matting on the back of Remus' head. The sight of it immediately made Eleanor want to throw up. She wasn't afraid of blood, no, it was the fact that it further cemented in her mind just how horrendous Remus' affliction was. The boy even tripped and stumbled once, only to be quickly caught by the school nurse and practically carried inside the entrance doors._

"So… The Three Broomsticks?" Lily asked beside her.

"Oh, uh, yeah," Eleanor agreed, trying to hide where her thoughts were. However, Lily noticed the distracted tone and followed her eyes to where they still lay on Remus' back. She didn't have to look over to know that the redhead bore a sad expression.

"We'll find something El," A hand came up to her shoulder comfortingly. Eleanor tore her eyes away and glanced at her friend – she was right, a pitying smile hung loosely on her lips – before patting her hand and giving a smile of her own.

Just before the girls stepped into the local tavern, something caught her attention. A man stood beside the doorway reading a newspaper, but it was what was on the front page that attracted her. Over the past few months, rumours had been spreading about Voldemort, specifically his name. According to more and more people, the word was cursed and any person who spoke it was sure to be visited by the man himself, never to be heard from again. Now it seemed even the _Daily Prophet_ had caught on to it. " _ **'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named' attacks yet another muggleborn family."**_ It read. The photo showed aurors struggling to keep the press away from the scene, with flashes of cameras constantly appearing. A cold shiver ran down Eleanor's spine. She had, of course, heard of the crazed dark wizard when she first arrived at Hogwarts, but since then the name was becoming all the more familiar; with articles written about him at least once a week if not more and more pureblood witches and wizards coming out in support of him and his 'ideals'. To her, the whole notion of hiding away from a name seemed completely ridiculous. Taking away the name of something makes it almost unknown – and nothing was more terrifying than the unknown, at least in her opinion. Much like when her mutation began to make an appearance, she lived every second in fear of what was happening to her until the professor found her and explained. And even before he offered to help, Eleanor had felt a massive weight lift off her shoulders. It was human instinct – and apparently mutant – that identification, and taking away the mystery surrounding something, elevated a certain amount of fear. By doing the opposite, people were _going_ in the opposite direction.

"Oooh! I don't think I've ever asked you…" Lily began as they sat down at a rare empty table, taking sips of the butterbeers they had both just ordered, "When's yours?" She nodded towards a group of Hufflepuff girls in the corner who sat quietly singing 'Happy Birthday' to one of them.

Eleanor winced as she replied – Lily was going to be pissed that she hadn't known, "17th February…"

Lily almost choked on her drink, "What?! Why didn't you tell anyone?!"

"I just didn't want it to be a big deal," Eleanor muttered, failing to hide her smile at Lily's foam moustache.

"But… but it _is_ a big deal!" Laughing at the dejected look on Lily's face only earned her a scowl, "You made such an effort for my birthday, I wanted to do something for you… Well next year you can guarantee I'm doing the whole nines! We're talking a party, presents, attention, the works! I can't believe you didn't tell me!"

"Uh-oh, sounds like someone's in trouble," Sirius appeared along with the rest of the motley crew. Eleanor smiled at them all, making a conscious effort to keep her thoughts away from Remus' transformations. "What've you been doing now, Ellie?" He grinned as the foursome stole chairs from nearby tables, squashing the lot of them around a table that was definitely _not_ made for six.

"Are you, of all people, about to lecture me on good behaviour?" She quirked an eyebrow at him and his smile widened so much she thought his face would split in half. The way his eyes shined at that almost made her melt into a puddle but she managed to hold herself together; _just_.

The rest of the table laughed.

"She's got you there, mate," Remus joked as Sirius still stared at her. He had been doing this a lot more frequently than she would have preferred if she were honest. She couldn't handle being the sole focus of his attention for so long, especially in such close quarters. The intensity in his eyes was as if she had a puzzle on her face and he was trying to work it out.

"What were you talking about then?" James asked. More than likely just as an excuse to start a conversation with Lily who visibly had to stop herself from rolling her eyes before she responded.

"El didn't tell anyone about her birthday and we've missed it-"

"What?!" Sirius interrupted her and Eleanor felt her forehead drop to the table. Had Lily not seen her desperate, silent attempts and telling her to shut up? _Probably,_ she thought, _and this is probably payback._ "How could you not celebrate your birthday?" _Great. Now I've got Sirius-Drama Queen-Black on my case as well._

"Not everyone likes as much attention as you do," Peter chipped in and for a split second, she could have kissed him. _Ew._

"Yeah, but… birthdays?" James added, his eyes wide. It was a testament to these boys' character that they genuinely couldn't understand 'low-key'. "Man, I love birthdays! When I was growing up my mum and dad would pretend that they'd forgotten each year, I remember one year I actually believed them and cried for a half hour straight until they told me they did remember and it was, of course, the best day of their lives,"

"I thought your eyes looked a little red last year!" Sirius laughed as James threw a coaster off him.

A prickling feeling caused the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up and Eleanor glanced around the room quickly; in doing so found that Lily was looking at her. Her eyebrows were scrunched together and her lips tightened swiftly in understanding. _I knew it wouldn't take you long to figure it out._ She sent the red head a tense smile in acknowledgement before her attention was once again taken by the boy with the grey eyes.

It was a few days later after the trip to Hogsmeade and Eleanor was exhausted. Despite it being the week before Easter holidays, the professors apparently had no plans about easing up on the workloads; in fact if anything, they were getting worse. In between classes and trying to find a way of helping Remus, she barely had enough time to turn around. She longed for the break that would come with the next week. Seeing as though it was only a single week long, not many people were bothering with going home so she was relatively safe from having to create some kind of excuse to stay at the castle. It did, however, mean that she and Lily would have to come up with a reason to spend so much time in the library but that was done easily enough – and anyway, they could just hide away in her room with books and brainstorm if push came to shove.

The fire cracked loudly as Eleanor yawned, sitting down her book for the night. She had joined Lily, Dorcas and Elsie to study in the common room but felt like if she tried to put any more information in her head that it might just explode.

"That's it. I'm done. It's over." She groaned, pushing her book away like it was diseased.

Dorcas smiled at her but nodded, "It _is_ pretty late," It wasn't _too_ late, but the sky was black and the common room was beginning to look a little scarce as students went off to bed. Plus Dorcas would take any excuse to finish studying earlier than planned.

"Yeah, I think I'm going to head up for the night," Elsie agreed. The two girls quickly said their good nights as they left Eleanor slumped on the sofa with a frustrated looking Lily. She had been going over and over their transfiguration assignment while also trying to perfect the practical wand work they had done in class that day, but unfortunately, she was getting nowhere fast.

"Lily, you need a break, otherwise you're going to burn yourself out,"

"I just need to get this…" She waved her wand once more, groaning out loud in anger as nothing happened, " _How_ can I-" Lily trailed off as she furrowed her brow again.

"Lily, Lily? Hey? Lily?" Eleanor smiled as Lily finally looked up at her, "Hi! You need to go to bed,"

"What I need is to figure out this assignment-" Eleanor pulled the parchment out of her hand before she had a chance to finish the sentence, "Wha- hey!"

"Sleep. Then work tomorrow."

Lily did a brilliant impression of a petulant child before tutting, "Ok, _mum_."

Shaking her head at her retreating friend, Eleanor picked up her book and stood to follow suit. She had almost made it to the bottom of the staircase when a warm hand wrapped around her arm.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in ages!"

"Sirius, you saw me today in class," She said, smiling nonetheless.

"Well duh, but I mean in a 'social setting'," He gestured with his hands.

"What are you talking about?" She asked bluntly.

Instead of answering, Sirius reached into the pocket of his robes and pulled out a small box, holding it out in the palm of his hand proudly.

"Ta-da!" He beamed.

Eleanor pursed her lips as she looked at him. Every time she started to think she had the enigmatic boy figured out, he just had to prove her wrong.

"It's for you!" He answered her silent question. After a few moments of even more confused silence, Sirius rolled his eyes and grabbed her hand, placing the box in her grasp.

"Did I forget our 'friendiversary' again?" Eleanor joked as she inspected the box. It was a simple cardboard box that gave nothing away as to what hid inside of it – it was this that made her wary.

"No, but you do still owe me around 1562 Cauldron Cakes,"

"1562? Really?" She deadpanned.

"I'm including all future friendiversaries that you're bound to forget," He waved nonchalantly, "Anyway, what do you think?"

"I think it's a box,"

"Right you are madam," Sirius grinned as he began bouncing on the balls of his feet, "However, if you look inside said box, you will find something extra."

Eleanor placed her book down on one of the stairs as she cautiously raised a hand to the lid. Just as her fingertips touched the smooth cardboard, her eyes flashed up to meet his.

"If this is _anything_ other than the obvious, I _will_ get you back,"

"Oooo, I take that as a challenge," Sirius winked at her, momentarily sending her off into a daze, "But no, not this time at least."

Carefully reaching in to the box, Eleanor felt something hard touch her hand. She held still for a few seconds and when nothing had bitten or jumped out at her, she decided to pick it up.

It was a glass ball. The size and shape of a Remembrall but it wasn't filled with smoke. At least half a dozen different levels decorated the small space, with holes and blockages dotted around. It looked like a 3D maze. A tiny silver ball rolled around hectically as she twisted and turned it to have a look.

"I know you didn't want a big deal for your birthday but I couldn't just not get you a present – you only turn 15 once missy! Anyways, it's a muggle toy I found in Hogsmeade called an Addict-A-Ball," Sirius said before pausing briefly, "I thought this would be good thing for you to focus on when you get all fidgety and agitated – instead of rearranging your desk so everything is lined up perfectly all the time – I take pride in having a messy desk in Muggle Studies y'know?" He added with a cheeky grin. Eleanor was struck. Her chest began to swell as she thought about the significance of the gift; even if Sirius didn't know it. It seemed so simple, but for some reason, she had never thought of it. Her mind whirled as she realised that she would – potentially – no longer have to run off to her specialised room any time she felt a slip in her control. And Sirius. How had he noticed her small ticks? Clearly Eleanor was right in believing that more levels to the seemingly obtuse boy hid under his big persona. The only other person who recognized that she sometimes displayed restless impulses was Lily – and that was because she had told her. But Sirius had found it all on his own. He perceived that something was peeving his friend and he instinctively did something to try and help. She rolled the Addict-A-Ball around in her fingers as she physically felt her feelings towards the raven-haired boy dial up a notch. _It would be so much easier if you were just an arse._

"I know, it's stupid- I don't know why I thought- you know what, never mind-" Eleanor had never heard Sirius utter a single nervous sentence in the entire time she knew him, and he managed to mutter out three in one go. She looked up to see him staring down at her uneasily.

"No! I-" She interrupted his uncertain ramble, "I love it. Thank you."

He blew out a dramatic sigh of relief, wiping his forehead clean of all the sweat the wasn'tthere, "Great!" He grinned down at her, "What?"

Eleanor blinked, realising she had been caught staring at him and shook her head – whether to clear it or in response to his question, she wasn't sure.

"Uh, nothing. I, uh, I'll see you tomorrow," She stuttered awkwardly, her mind still not working at 100% capacity. Stepping up onto the stairs, she heard him tell her good night and managed to keep her cool until she turned the corner. Figuring she was far enough away that he wouldn't hear, Eleanor let out a girlish squeal, squeezing her new toy excitedly and – she wasn't too proud to admit – breaking out into a quick dance, before she headed into her dorm no longer tired.

* * *

 **Also, I'm thinking of writing a Dramione story... Technically, I've already started but I haven't even finished the first chapter. It's just an idea that is floating around in my head so I'm not sure if it'll be posted any time soon/ if at all. I'll keep you guys updated with it though!**


	20. Chapter 20

I am SO sorry! I have no excuse for not updating for this long! Can I make it up to you by giving you chapter 20?

 **DISCLAIMER - Anything recognisable is not mine.**

* * *

Life is made up of moments. Some moments make a huge impact; others make barely a dent. Eleanor was experiencing the former. It sounded silly when she thought about it – in fact it sounded down right stupid. She tried to smile and pretend she wasn't bothered at all. That it was just one of those things. She was pretty sure that her act was going well – to everyone but Lily.

As per, Lily played the best friend card perfectly and had littered her with knowing looks all day. It was actually becoming annoying how well the other girl knew her. Eleanor couldn't quite get used to it, even after nine months. It had always been the other way around – she knew everyone better than they even knew themselves. How had the roles reversed?

Deciding to ignore the slight panic that came with someone knowing her so well, Eleanor instead focused on the problem in front of her. Literally. It was sat opposite and a few chairs down from her at the dinner table in the Great hall. Letting her hair fall in her face to hide her eyes, she quickly glanced up and immediately regretted it. Was she just a glutton for punishment?

Blissfully unaware of her predicament, Sirius sat with his arm around his new hoe- uh, _beau_ , Eleanor corrected herself internally. Hestia Jones was a Ravenclaw from their year and the latest in a decently sized line of girls to take Sirius' fancy; difference being that this time it was official. Never before had Sirius had a 'girlfriend', in fact Eleanor had heard him refer to himself as "a lone ranger" multiple times – a term he had picked up in Muggle Studies. It had always made her shake her head and smile conflictedly. Realistically there wasn't any way they would ever date – they were friends and nothing more - but knowing that he wouldn't go official with any other girl had lifted her spirits. Maybe it was wrong, but whatever, it had never really been an issue until now. Sure, whenever he ended up snogging a new girl, she felt like she had been punched in the gut – but at least she knew that the next day it would be over, and she could, perhaps foolishly, pretend it never happened; going back to the fantasy that her mind had made up involving the two of them being ridiculously in love.

And anyways, Hestia was a nice girl no matter what the jealous teenage girl side of her thought. And he seemed happy right? _But he's not happy with me._

Her hand gripped the Addict-A-Ball in her pocket that Sirius had given her over three weeks earlier. As much as it had helped – especially since finding out about Sirius and Hestia – she was starting to wish he hadn't bothered giving her it. That rare glimpse into his real, caring self, not the one he put on for show around school; it had just made her all the more enamoured with him. And now she had to sit at the dinner table trying to keep her food down as she watched him whisper into Hestia's ear, probably something inappropriate considering her blush and flirty giggle.

 _And it's only been 3 days…_

"So I was thinking, after dinner, maybe we should study?" Lily said, purposely flicking her eyes towards Remus. Another full moon had gone and passed without any kind of eureka moment on the 'curing werewolves' front. That probably didn't help Eleanor's mood.

She just nodded absently as she pushed her cauliflower around with her fork. _Whatever happened to "I'm not going to let a boy dictate my happiness at Hogwarts"? Buck up!_ Her inner monologue was having a much easier time with the show in front of her.

Later on, the two girls sat in Eleanor's room with books, pieces of parchment with quick notes and ideas jotted down on them and ink splodges forming a semicircle around them.

"Ok, so we've exhausted the 'charm' side of things…" Eleanor closed the book to her left. After getting nowhere with their researching in the previous weeks, they had decided to update their researching technique. Lily had the idea to go through every subject in school with a fine-toothed comb, seeing what, if any, specific area held the most promise. Looking through all of those charm books had definitely improved Eleanor's ability in the subject, if nothing else.

"So…" Lily muttered, tapping her finger against her knee as she looked across the open books lay out in front of her, "Potions?" She picked one up and held it out to Eleanor questioningly. Despite deciding that any potions that _might_ be able to help were way out of their capabilities when they first started their mission, the two girls were at their wits end and willing to try anything.

Eleanor nodded and took the book silently.

A few moments passed when Lily spoke up again, "I know you said you don't have anything to say about it, but if you want to talk, you know I'm here right?" Eleanor didn't have to ask what she was talking about.

"Lily, it's just a stupid crush. Honestly, I'm fine," And that was the very first time Eleanor barefaced lied to her best friend. It didn't go very well as Lily obviously didn't believe her.

"You know, they say if you've had a crush on someone longer than 4 months, you've fallen in love with them…" Lily said quietly as she continued to read.

"Woah woah woah! I am _not_ in love with Sirius! He's my friend! He's just… just nice to look at," Eleanor shrugged, attempting nonchalance as she trailed off but picked up again when she noticed Lily looking at her with a raised eyebrow, "Don't look at me like that! You're the one throwing crazy accusations around! Anyway, we have work to do." She tried to veer the conversation away, gesturing to the book Lily had just handed her.

She heard Lily sigh, "You need to talk about this,"

"There's nothing to talk about,"

"El, you're clearly shocked by the news, you need to let it out,"

"Lily, there's nothing to say," Eleanor was starting to get frustrated. Why couldn't Lily just pick up on the fact that she didn't want to talk about it? The red head managed to notice just about everything else.

"You need to talk about it El," Lily repeated.

"Why can't you just let it go?" Eleanor snapped. To Lily's defence, she didn't react to the annoyed tone.

"Because you're my friend. And you're hurting," She paused before adding, "And we both know what happens when you keep things in for too long," She said softly. Eleanor felt her face tense as she looked at Lily. Damn it, she was right. _But I don't want too and she should just respect that._ She immediately thought in response. _She cares about you and doesn't want you to get hurt. (Or hurt anyone else)._ A small voice at the back of her head added. After a few seconds, Eleanor sighed, letting her eyelids close as she did so. Her mind raced back to the numerous occasions she had lost control, mainly the times where she either didn't have or hadn't been able to reach her room quick enough.

In her own way, she was rather like Remus. Losing control to a crazed monster who only seeks to destroy. When she had first moved to Xavier's, the professor told her to try to get to know that side of herself, to give it a name, to overcome her fear of it. At first she refused, too terrified that it would take over and consume her, but one night, the professor was going through her mind - as was their nightly routine – when he made a breakthrough. Either the walls surrounding that side of her had been broken down, or even more alarmingly, he had been welcomed through them. All he heard was one word before he was pushed back out; Phoenix. From then on, that was what that side of her was named.

"You're right," Eleanor murmured, "Of course you're right,"

The corner of Lily's lips twitched upwards sadly but she didn't say anything.

"But I'm not in love with him," She denied strongly, then almost contradicted herself as she thought about it, "At least, I don't think I am. I just feel like there's a weight on my chest. And every time I look at them I feel like I've been hit by a bludger – not that I've ever been hit by a bludger – but by what I imagine being hit by a bludger feels like," She was rambling, "I don't know why this is so different to the others though. I mean, sure it's an actual relationship so there's a slight difference there, but I've seen him literally feeling up that slag Honey Taylor at parties and it never felt this bad."

Unconsciously, Eleanor's hand came to rest on her chest as she tried to hold herself together.

Lily closed the book she was reading and turned to face her, "Maybe it's _because_ it's an "actual relationship"…? I mean, before he was kind of _your_ Sirius- and don't try to say he wasn't because you know it's true, you're one of the only girls in our entire school that he's actually friends with and not trying to _get_ with," She added quickly, holding up a finger as Eleanor tried to interrupt her, "But now he's Hestia's Sirius, and let's be honest, girl/boy friendships always suffer when one of them gets into a relationship. _Or_ … maybe it's not the fact that he's in a relationship, maybe it's the fact that he's not in a relationship _with you_?" Lily paused as if trying to think of a way to phrase her words, but Eleanor wanted it straight, no bubble wrap, "I mean before, he never did relationships like you said, and it didn't hurt so bad. But now he does apparently, and he didn't choose you to be in one with…" Lily trailed off but Eleanor had heard all she needed to get the cogs in her brain turning.

Was that why? Did she feel rejected? Upset? Yes. Hurt? Definitely. Frustrated? Of course. Rejected? _Yes._ She realised. Yes, she _did_ feel rejected. Even though he hadn't actually done so, she still felt the sting of rejection with the fact that he had chosen Hestia Jones over her. As far as she was aware, the two had never really spoken up until recently. He chose a _stranger_ over her.

Eleanor felt herself being pulled into a hug as tears began to form. When Lily's hand rubbed her arm comfortingly, a few escaped down her cheeks. She leaned onto her friends shoulder for a few minutes before the silence was broken by Lily.

"Do you want me to kick his arse?"

Eleanor couldn't help but let out a watery laugh.

"So what's up?" Remus asked as he sat down opposite her at the table. It had been almost a week since Eleanor had gone through the realisation that she felt betrayed, rejected, abandoned… pick one, by Sirius. In a _complete_ coincidence, it had also been almost a week since she began avoiding all four of the marauders – not an easy task, she even went as far as to move seats in Muggle Studies; blaming it on Professor Mailer when Sirius questioned the change. The other three boys hadn't done a thing wrong, and she knew that, but they were like a pack of wolves – it was rare to find one of them alone and Eleanor just didn't want to risk that it would be Sirius popping up out of nowhere as he regularly did. That didn't mean that she wasn't feeling guilty about it, but a girl can only be emotionally punched in the face so many times before she calls it quits.

"What do you mean?" Eleanor looked up from her Transfiguration book. As had become more of a habit than she cared to admit, she was once again in the library; however, luckily, this time she actually was doing just regular homework.

"We've barely seen you all week," Remus said as if it was obvious.

"I've been busy," When he didn't reply, she glanced back at him to see a dubious expression on his face, "Honest, I have. I only came to Hogwarts this year remember, so with end of year exams coming up soon, I need to be studying constantly if I have any hope of even getting Acceptables',"

"Did your old school not teach the same stuff?" Eleanor blinked as she remembered that Remus didn't know about her previous school.

"Not exactly… Anyway, what are you working on?" She continued in an unnecessary attempt to change the subject. Unnecessary because at that moment the library doors were pushed open, slamming against the walls behind them, and in sauntered James and Peter, earning themselves a harsh glare from Madam Pince. Eleanor waited nervously for a certain dark-haired marauder to follow them but after a few moments she realised he must have been elsewhere, _like snogging his girlfriend_ , the though made her nauseous.

"What the hell are you two doing in here?" Remus asked as the two boys flopped down in the remaining empty seats.

" _Someone_ decided to drag me here," Peter said, jokingly glaring at James.

"If you must know, I must borrow Miss Douglas here as we are long overdue for a very important conversation," James said before turning to Eleanor, "Now, I have a mission for you. It could very well be dangerous, but I promise you it will be worth it-"

"I'm not convincing Lily to go out with you,"

"Wha- Hey! Why not?" He dropped the pompous tone and reverted back to his regular annoying, teenage boy self.

"Why should I do all the work? If you actually like her, prove it, I've told you a thousand times,"

"Every time I 'prove it', I end getting hexed or otherwise physically assaulted!"

"Yes, and as funny as that is, maybe you should change tactics?" Eleanor tidied her books into a pile and stood up from her chair, pulling her bag over her shoulder, "I'll see you guys later," She'd pushed her luck enough. Any longer and she was risking Sirius appearing, even if it was a library. However, she had clearly done something in a previous life to piss someone off.

Eleanor managed three simple steps before the last voice she wanted to hear called out.

"Ellie!" She quickly calculated in her head whether he was far enough away that she could get away with pretending not to have heard him, and then remembered this was _Sirius_ and he was just as likely to follow her getting louder and louder until she turned around. Sighing softly, she plastered a big smile on her face and spun on her heel. It got worse. Not only was it Sirius, but Hestia was walking beside him, looking very comfortable as she practically hung off his arm.

Eleanor looked up to the sky quickly, _really? What have I ever done to you?_

"Hey," Sirius said when they reached her, "Haven't seen much of you recently,"

"Yeah, I've just been really busy," She replied, hearing the question in his statement.

"Sure, sure," He trailed off, looking at her with questioning eyes. A small cough from the girl beside him brought back his attention, "What?"

Hestia visibly jerked her head in Eleanor's direction – a plastic smile on her lips – but Sirius just continued to look confused.

" _What_?"

 _Ground, swallow me please?_

Eleanor sighed and bit the proverbial bullet, "I'm Eleanor, it's nice to meet you properly," She turned to the other girl and smiled - which probably looked more like a grimace - as she tried to ignore the bitter taste the words left in her mouth.

"You too, I'm Hestia, most people just call me Hes though," 'Hes' began, "You're the girl who started here at the beginning of the year, right? That must have been strange,"

"Yeah, that's uh, one word for it," Eleanor quickly gave up on being kind and, as always, settled for civility.

A few awkward seconds passed, when nothing happened with the exception of uncomfortable staring. Uncomfortable staring between the two girls at least; Sirius stood tall with his usual grin on his face. 'Hes' coughed again and tugged on his arm, _god I hope I'm not that annoying._ Instead of sticking around for the inevitably weird goodbyes as she watched her crush walk away with his girlfriend, Eleanor decided to make a sharp exit.

"I best be off then." Without waiting for a response, she continued on her way down the corridor with no particular destination in mind as long as it was far from Sirius and _Hes._ She cringed internally as she thought the name. It was wrong to dislike someone before you even knew them, yes, she knew that, but how could she possibly be friendly with the girl who was currently dating her crush? Any maturity that she felt had left her body, leaving a normal 15 year old girl who fancied a boy who had a girlfriend – and that wasn't a good combination.

Verbally groaning, Eleanor smacked her forehead against the books in her arms.

When the day was done and darkness had fallen, Eleanor collapsed into bed with an _oomph_. Nothing was more appealing than her bed right now. Not one single thing. The relaxing warmth called to her after her long, _long_ day.

After Sirius caught her, and introduced her to 'Hes', Eleanor ended up wandering for a while. Her mind was stuck on a repetitive loop of Sirius and girlfriends and marauders. She didn't even have anyone to help take her mind away – Lily was with Snape, Elsie was down on the Quidditch pitch flying, Dorcas was probably there too and she had no idea where Mary and Alice were. Even though the girls still lived in the same room, both of them were usually up and out on a morning before Eleanor even had a chance to turn around – and they were always the last two back on a night – so they hadn't really spoken much more than 'hello's and 'goodbye's recently.

She had ended up in her room where she finished her Transfiguration assignment, seeing as though she was rudely interrupted, and got a head start on her next Charms essay.

 _And now relax._ She thought as she pulled the covers up to her chin, her wand lay on the bed beside her pillow. It always fascinated her how much a wand affected a witch or wizard's ability to perform magic. Unless you were an extremely powerful witch/wizard, it even controlled whether you _could_ perform magic. Your wand became an extension of yourself. It acted as a funnel in the ocean, creating order out of chaos as magic was taken from the depths of your soul and poured down through what appeared to be a wooden stick but was so much more. Not for the first time, Eleanor mused about how brilliant it would be to have such a crutch to rely on when it came to her mutation. Maybe if she had something she could use to pin point what part of her power she wanted to use and how, she could take down her walls and be free – well… all except the Phoenix.

Relaxation wasn't going as well as Eleanor hoped. She was jittery and excited. The professor was 'calling' tonight and even though it was only a few weeks, she felt like she hadn't heard from her surrogate father in forever. She missed him and everyone back at Xavier's terribly but it was only around two more months before she would see them again – she could do it.

Suddenly, a voice spoke in her mind, " _Eleanor?_ "

" _Professor!_ " It was a strange feeling to greet someone excitedly in your mind; in person, Eleanor would run up and hug the professor on sight but through telepathy? Well, her hands just kind of lay there awkwardly itching to hug thin air, " _I've missed you so much professor! How are you? How's Raven? And Scott?_ "

She felt him laugh softly, " _Slow down El, everyone is fine as always. Raven keeps badgering me to remind you that you still owe her five dollars from a bet you made last summer? She said you'd_ _know what it means,_ " _Dammit,_ she thought. Just before coming to Hogwarts, she had bet Raven that she would be back at Xavier's by April at the very latest. The professor laughed even more when he heard her 'explanation', " _I'm not even surprised. How are you doing anyway?_ "

" _I'm good thanks_ ,"

" _Are you sure? The situation with Sirius seems to be-_ "

" _None of your business thank you!_ " She interrupted him. One of the few good things about not having these conversations in person, was that he couldn't see the huge blush that would grow whenever he mentioned Sirius – he could, however, hear her mortification which if she was honest was just as bad.

" _Ok, ok_ ," He laughed once more, " _How are you doing with your school work then? Are you feeling ready for your exams?_ "

" _I think so, I mean, I've had a lot of catching up to do, but Lily helps me a lot and all of the professors are really good at explaining things. So as long as I study loads, I think I'll do ok. Or I hope I will at least,"_

" _You always do your best El, and it's always brilliant,"_

She smiled to herself, " _I miss you,"_

" _And I, you Eleanor,"_ He paused, " _But let's not get all sad, summer is in two months and then you're home for weeks and weeks!"_

Eleanor's smile grew at that. Going back to Xavier's for six weeks was an enlivening thought – even if the tables would turn and she would undoubtedly miss Hogwarts.

" _I know you will El,"_ The professor said in response to her thoughts, " _But you'll see them again in September, and anyway, you've still got plenty of time over there before you come back! Although, I'm sure you're living with your head in books for the time being,"_ He added jokingly. But it brought up an idea.

" _Professor? Can I ask you a question?"_

" _Of course, El,"_

" _What do you know of werewolves?"_ She felt shock waver in his mind before he collected himself.

" _Is this about your friend Remus?"_ It hadn't been intentional to tell the professor about Remus, not at all. But one night he 'called', she was showing him her day and he saw the memory of when she found out playing in the far corners of her mind. As he was with everything, instead of being wary, the professor was fascinated and keen to know more about Remus and his condition. Since then, he had seen a little of what she and Lily were trying to do, but nothing concrete.

" _It is, yes,"_ She said with a sigh, " _Lily and I, we want to help him… but we have no idea how. Everything that we've read and looked into says that it can't be done. It doesn't help that lycanthropy is looked down upon like a horrific disease – which I suppose it is, but no one wants to help them! Instead of trying to find a cure or a way to ease the suffering of these people, the entire wizarding community shuns them, claiming that they're below the dirt on the street! I just… ugh, I don't know what to do,"_ Eleanor felt herself become worked up, as she always did when talking or even thinking about the disgusting treatment of people with lycanthropy, and took a deep breath to try and calm down, _"So anyway, you saying about studying has got me thinking… do you think there's anything that_ we _could do? As mutants?"_

She suddenly felt very sheepish, which confused her totally until she realised it was coming from the professor; which, to be honest, confused her even more.

" _Actually El, I should probably tell you, but since you told me about your friend and indeed the existence of such people, I've been thinking along the same lines as you. From my research, there is nothing definite yet – nothing even experimentation worthy yet either – but I am looking into it, and I'll keep you informed of any discoveries made. Raven and I even had the idea of using her cellular structure to create a 'potion' as it were that would allow the person to stay in their human form under the full moon, but I'm afraid we've hit a rather big brick wall with that."_

Eleanor sighed, disappointed. Honestly, she hadn't thought about the possibility of Raven holding the key to a cure and when the professor mentioned it, her heart skipped a beat, however, the notion was clearly premature if even the professor, the man with the most brilliant brain she had ever known, couldn't figure it out.

" _Thank you professor,"_ She said dejectedly.

" _What is it, Eleanor?"_

" _It's just.. do you really think there's a way to help?"_

" _As I recall you once said to your friend Lily, 'I think that there's no way you will give up until you find a way,' and I'm right here, backing you all the way. I truly believe you can do this; this and so much more."_


End file.
